Federation Day

by Cheryl Forbes

Email for feedback: forbesc@skyia.com

Disclaimer: Voyager and her crew are the property of Paramount and not me. Whatever.

Author's note: A special thanks to Leinor for taking the time to beta my work. If you find mistakes, blame me, not her.


Summary: Voyager finally gets back to Earth, but because of a hiccup in the space/time continuum as they left the Borg conduit, it's not the Earth they originally counted on. Trapped two hundred years in the past, on the day of the Federation's inception on Babel, Janeway sends a reluctant Chakotay, along with his ex-boyfriend, Tom Paris, to the surface to make things right. Once there, they meet some surprisingly familiar faces who show more than Voyager the right path home.

"Where did they go?"

Kathryn searched the forward screen where only moments before had been a Starfleet armada between them and the beautiful vision of the Sol system's third planet. She lifted herself up from the floor of the bridge and addressed her operations officer. "Mr Kim, report!"

"Checking!" the young ensign yelled as his fingers flew over his smoking console.

"Captain, I suggest we retreat." came Tuvok's steady voice from behind.

"To where?" And why? Damn it, they were home, weren't they? Why did they have to hide?

Lieutenant Paris flew past her and reclaimed his seat at the helm. He'd been on his way to see his newborn daughter in Sickbay when the explosion had hit Voyager. "I got it!" the new father exclaimed.

With her mind reeling, Kathryn dropped down in her command chair and watched as the familiar planets of her home system flew by the ship's view screen. Mars, Jupiter, and finally Saturn, made their appearance through the haze created by various damaged systems on the bridge. The planetary parade stopped as Tom settled Voyager into a geo-synchronous orbit around the ringed planet.

"Now where are we?"

Sporting a bright red gash over his left eyebrow, her pilot swiveled in his chair. "In the Cassini Division, ma'am." Tom was the only one of her crew who used the honorific and the only one allowed to. "It's the largest gap in Saturn's seven rings."

"Lovely." She threw her hands up. "Now would someone kindly explain to me what the hell just happened? Harry?"

"There was an explosion," Ensign Kim began.

"Yes, I know, the Borg sphere, we blew her from the inside out."

"No, Captain, from the transwarp aperture as it imploded. The collapsing vacuum threw us forward, sucked us back in and then...-"

"And then spit us back out again like so much garbage." Tom Paris finished with a sardonic twist to his lips. The remark was directed at Chakotay and, in response, she saw her first officer glower back at the evident challenge in the pilot's steely blue eyes. It was yet another display of their recent animosity. She quickly addressed her security officer to break the building tension.

"Tuvok?"

"The lieutenant's analogy is crude but accurate, Captain. We were expelled from the conduit after its destruction. However, we did not return to our original position."

"But we are back home in the Alpha Quadrant, aren't we?"

"Yes and no."

"Tuvok!"

The Vulcan continued on calmly, unaffected by her growing frustration. "We are in the Sol system but according to my scans this will not be our 'home' for another two hundred years."

Multiple gasps erupted from the bridge crew in time with her own stifled breath.

"Two hundred years? Oh, please, tell me we didn't hit a time rift while in the conduit," she pleaded with complete honesty. Time travel, with all its convoluted trips and paradoxal traps never failed to make her head pound.

"At this time I am unable to ascertain what exactly did happen, Captain." the security officer replied frankly.

"Fine," Kathryn said, accepting the inevitable headache as she rose from her chair. Striding to stand in front of the forward view screen, which had become more static than picture in the last few minutes, she faced her bewildered crew. "OK, people, listen up, in exactly one hour I want answers. I want to know where and when we are, the status of the ship and how the hell we get back home. Understood?" A sea of stunned and battered faces nodded back to her in unison.

Out of the frying pan, and into the fire, she thought, as she headed for her ready room to do her own analysis of the situation. 

Typical Voyager luck.

********

"We created what, a white hole?" 

Chakotay squirmed in his conference room chair wishing he'd paid more attention to quantum dynamics at the Academy. "I thought there were only black ones."

Seven looked to Tuvok for permission to answer before speaking. "No, Commander, there are both. A white hole emits light and matter while a black one absorbs it. When combined, they create the entrance and exit of what is commonly known as a wormhole."

"Which is what Voyager fell into before being spat out. OK, fine, I get it but what caused the time shift?"

"A naked singularity in the centre of the system." the ex-borg continued. "The phenomenon disrupts the normal time/space continuum and causes the laws of physics to fail. As Voyager left the white hole created by the force of the conduit's collapse, she was caught in the singularity's string."

"So how do we get back?"

"We reenter the wormhole. In theory that should transport us back to the year 2378 and the Alpha Quadrant."

"Ah…hello?" Tom Paris piped up from across the table. "I don't know if anyone's noticed, but there is no wormhole in the Sol system. Not now, not two hundred years ago, not ever."

Seven blandly took the information in stride, which was more than Chakotay did. He had to restrain himself from leaning over the table and bopping the annoying blond for his nay-saying. 

"It may not be detectable, but it is there, Lieutenant. Our arrival in this timeline is evidence of that. A quantum gravimetric torpedo should activate its aperture and facilitate our departure."

"Great. Then let's haul ass and get the hell out of here." The pilot spoke in exasperation as if the idea had not occurred to anyone else in the room.

"It's not that simple, Mr Paris."

Taking back control of the meeting, Chakotay scowled at Tom before he could make another useless remark. "Explain Seven."

"It will take approximately forty-eight hours to construct the torpedo but that Commander, will not be the difficult part, I'm afraid. Deploying it unobserved will be."

Chakotay remembered their hasty retreat and the pilot's innovative hiding place between the rings of Saturn. It irked him that Tom had been perceptive enough to see that something was wrong with their situation before he did but then a lot of things had irked him about Paris in the last nine months. However this was not the time or the place to brood about them.

"A twenty-fourth century ship with futuristic armour and Borg-enhanced technology is probably something the twenty-second century doesn't see everyday." 

"No, sir, and if we don't want to pollute this timeline, and ultimately our own, we'll have to find a way to disable the satellite tracking systems on both Earth and Mars."

"Can't we fly in and out before we're detected?"

"No, I do not believe so." Seven consulted the PADD in her hand. "The year is 2161, Commander. Earth at this time has ships with warp 5 capabilities, and has had since the launch of the Enterprise NX-01 under the command of Captain Jonathan Archer ten years earlier. We would be surrounded by Fleet ships before we reached the coordinates of the wormhole."

"Understood. Can we disable the systems from Voyager?"

"Not effectively." It was Harry Kim who answered. Chakotay turned his gaze towards the ensign trying hard not to look at the blond sitting beside him.

"Voyager sustained a lot of damage coming out of the wormhole, but even if she hadn't, we'd be hard pressed to knock out all of the satellites remotely. Well, not without destroying them, and I'm thinking that's not an option."

"No, Ensign, it's not."

"Well then that means manually disabling the orbiting satellites planetside. Accessing the global computer and shutting them down from there."

"An away team." Chakotay said in defeat. Temporal mechanics were a tricky thing when the actions of even one person could screw up an entire timeline. What could the actions of a whole team do? 

"Yeah, I could beam over, and maybe Tom, he's a history buff and not half bad when it comes to computers." said the young ensign, his enthusiasm evident by the excited pitch of his voice.

"Hey!" The pilot exclaimed in outrage at his friend's dig about his technical knowledge Chakotay guessed, and not at being volunteered. Tom Paris might be an arrogant, self-centered bastard but he was not a coward. He had guts if not integrity.

"Thank you for the offer, Mr Kim, but I think we're going to need your operational talents on Voyager to get her ready for the jump back home." Harry's shoulders slumped with visible disappointment.

"Then if that follows, we won't need our pilot and first officer until then." Kathryn said smoothly, breaking her silence.

"What?" Chakotay turned his attention to his captain.

"If I remember correctly, you're no slouch when it comes to Earth history, Commander."

"It's only a hobby. I'm no expert." He said defensively.

Working alone with the man who had shattered his illusions of happiness and betrayed his dreams was the last thing he wanted to do. 

"No, but you and Tom are the best we've got, so you're elected. Harry, can you provide them with fake identification? Yes? Good. Anything else?"

"Captain," Tuvok started, "I recommend that the commander and the lieutenant maintain radio silence until they have completed their mission. We would suffer less chance of being detected." 

The captain nodded her head. "Agreed. Then if that's it, let's move, people. We've got a welcome home party to get back to, and as the guests of honour, we don't want to be late."

She pushed her chair out, signaling an end to the meeting and a start to his torture.

"Wait!" Everyone halted in their tracks.

"What now, Paris?" Chakotay growled unable to hide his increasingly bad mood.

Tom leveled his baby blues at him. "You said it was the year 2161, right? What's the month and day?"

Seven saved him from answering but Tom paid her no mind and continued to stare only at him. "The coordinated universal date retrieved from the weather forecasting system is August 12."

"Don't you get it, Chakotay? It's Federation Day and if the year is 2161 that means it's the first one. It's going to be party central down there."

Oh, spirits, he was right. Today was the inception of the United Federation of Planets. Although the actual charter was being signed on Babel, there still would be official receptions and private gatherings celebrating the universal event all over the planet. Unfortunately all that brouhaha also meant there would be heightened security around any and all newly formed Federation facilities. Damn.

Their tough had job just gotten tougher.

********

"You OK?"

"Yeah, B'El, I'm fine."

B'Elanna Torres gazed fondly at the tall blond rocking their newborn daughter in his arms and for the hundredth time wished she could have fallen in love with him.

"She's just so beautiful. I can't believe she's mine."

"Believe it, Flyboy."

Tom looked up from their child and smiled brightly. Anyone looking from the outside in would think from the joy that suffused his face that the pregnancy had been his idea. It hadn't been.

After two turbulent years of trying to make their relationship work they had accepted that they weren't meant to be together romantically and had broken up. The split had been amicable and they had remained friendly but not close. 

So it had been a surprise that when B'Elanna had visited her mother on the barge of the dead, it had been Tom who stepped up to save her, proving that he didn't have to be in love with her to care for her. The revelation had been a turning point that had led to others.

Seeing Miral after so many years had reawakened the importance of family in the Klingon part of B'Elanna's heart. She suddenly discovered she wanted a child to share her heritage with and asked Tom to be the father. His selfless actions had shown her that he was the only logical choice. The pilot, however, had been less than enthusiastic about her request and when she pressed, she found out why. Tom had fallen hard for Chakotay.

They were dating but not yet lovers, a concept she got but one which perplexed and worried the pilot, who had no compunctions against fucking on the first date. What Tom didn't comprehend or perhaps couldn't, given his promiscuous history, was that Chakotay was seriously courting him. The older man didn't want mindless sex but a lasting relationship born of love and trust. 

B'Elanna knew that but had selfishly kept the information secret, reasoning that in the end it wouldn't matter to Chakotay, that her long-time friend would understand. Besides, had she told the love-struck blond he probably wouldn't have agreed to sire her child, which he, despite his love for her. 

She would have Tom's baby and Chakotay would get Tom. It had been a seemingly good plan and it would have gone smoothly, except for one rather large hitch. Chakotay hadn't understood, not one bit. On the day he heard about the pregnancy, he had stopped speaking to both of them. The only time B'Elanna heard her old friend's voice now was in the line of duty.

"When do you leave for Earth, Tom?"

The shining smile faded abruptly. "Soon."

"I'm so sorry." She didn't have to tell Tom what she was talking about. He knew. It was the one and only thing she ever apologized for.

"Stop it, B'El. We've been through this. If Chakotay doesn't want me, it isn't because of you or our baby. It's because of me."

"But if I had told you…,"

"Yeah, so what?" He gave her a brave smile. "I would have probably knocked you up anyway, so forget it, OK? Screw apologies, screw regrets and screw Chakotay if he can't take a joke."

"Tom, you don't mean that."

His blue eyes flashed with anger. "Look B'Elanna I love you and I love our daughter. If Mr Holier-Than-Thou can't handle that, I'm better off without him."

"But you're in *love* with him." she said calmly, trying to temper the anger she knew wasn't directed at her. It worked. A funny lop-sided smile formed and softened the hard edges of his mouth.

"Yeah, but I'm not most stable personality I know, so go figure." He kissed the baby and then handed her over. "I'll see you both when I get back."

With that the handsome, complicated man left for the transporter room and B'Elanna wished again she could have fallen in love with him.

That made the count a hundred and one.

********

Damn it, they were in the middle of a crisis. Why did he have to look so fucking good?

Tom eyed Chakotay surreptitiously as they walked the street of San Francisco in less than companionable silence looking for a place to stay. 

The commander was attired tastefully in black jeans and a sweater, whereas Tom was dressed like a complete dork in an old style ensign's uniform. He pulled at the constricting crotch of his blue jumper and hiked his duffel bag higher onto his shoulder at the same time in a cover move. His balls itched and the seam of the uniform kept catching in the crack of his ass. He was uncomfortable, but there was no way in hell he was going to admit his discomfort to the cool commander beside him.

"So are we looking for one room or two?" Tom quipped.

"One. You're the anonymous young officer and I'm your older lover, remember?" the commander replied tersely without looking over.

Because Chakotay's age demanded a higher rank, which be more conspicuous, he couldn't be in Starfleet. The captain had suggested instead that he pose as teacher and Tom's life partner, so they could still travel and live together without question.

Tom had known all that just as he'd known it would piss Chakotay off to say it. He didn't want to be the only one feeling miserable here. 

"Oh, yeah, that's right. Shit, I don't know why that concept won't stick in my head."

"Maybe because it's such a reach." Chakotay growled.

Oooh, touché. Score one for the sexy commander in the drop-dead gorgeous outfit.

"Not my fault." Tom replied weakly.

This time Chakotay did flash a look at him. Tom cringed when he saw the hatred in the ebony orbs. There was a time when those deep soulful eyes had looked upon him with what he had been sure was love.

Despite what B'Elanna thought, Tom had known, from the first time a friendly game of pool on the holodeck had turned into a quiet dinner in the first officer's cabin, how strongly Chakotay felt about him. It was no secret. The first officer had been totally up front with him from the getgo. Tom had been the one keeping secrets and holding back.

Gun-shy from his failed relationship with B'Elanna, Tom hadn't been ready to commit so completely again. He wanted Chakotay, oh, god how he wanted him but he had been scared shitless. The older man had demanded monogamy and wouldn't do more than kiss until he conceded. Tom had freaked. Not because it meant giving up the string of lovers he had reacquired after his break up with B'El, he'd already done that. Because it meant he would have to admit to himself that he really didn't want anybody else but the commander. That maybe, just maybe he had finally fallen in love and the responsibility that entailed was damn fucking scary.

Love meant telling your deepest darkest secrets and sharing your most intimate thoughts with another person. 

Tom had spent a lifetime, hiding his hurts and concealing his darker passions within himself, and couldn't imagine letting anyone, least of all someone as important to him as Chakotay, see them. What if the commander was shocked or, worse yet, appalled at the way his mind worked? That, he wouldn't be able to handle, so in the end, he hadn't. Getting B'Elanna pregnant had put an end to that dilemma and effectively sabotaged any future with the first officer.

He hadn't told Chakotay until after the deed was done. It had been stupid, but back then he hadn't been functioning on all thrusters. The older man had been furious and in his anger had accused Tom of all sorts of things. Still wanting B'Elanna, not being able to think with anything but his dick, which Tom had translated into being called a slut and, last but not least, being a selfish bastard who was unable to see how his actions affected others. Except for the bit about B'El, it had been a hard argument to dispute. Tom had left without defending himself and that had been the last conversation they had had outside of work. However, since that awful night Tom had smartened up some.

Walking beside him now was the man he knew he loved more than his own life. Unfortunately, his illumination had come eight months too late. The loathing he had just seen in his companion's eyes attested to that. What love Chakotay had once felt for him had been blasted away by Tom's selfish fears and subsequent betrayal. The most he could hope for now was to perhaps feel Chakotay's lust. 

Tom had been fucked by people who hated him before, so it wasn't beyond the realm of possibility that the older man might succumb. There had been a time not long ago when he had felt Chakotay's desire for his body pumped against his hip as they tested their passions with experimental kisses in his quarters, so there was a chance. 

Tom glanced over at the hard body in black walking steadily beside him and came up with his own personal mission.

Before they left this planet he would make their fictional cover story a reality.

********

Not my fault, bullshit it wasn't.

As Chakotay unpacked his rucksack and hung the few articles of clothing it contained in the tiny closet, the offensive words rang over and over in his head. Not my fault, the Tom Paris motto. If he looked, Chakotay would bet he'd see the mantra tattooed across the younger man's butt. He let his eyes drift over to the king sized bed where the man in question was sitting cross-legged reading a PADD.

Spirits, he was strikingly beautiful. It was little wonder Chakotay had fallen in love with him and still loved him, although the older man fervently wished he didn't. 

Tom's boyish features were screwed up with concentration as he read, giving him an air of endearing innocence. But that's where the tender vulnerability ended. The top of his uniform was unzipped and peeled dangerously low on his hips, exposing bare arms in a sleeveless black tee. There was nothing innocent or boyish about the long-limbed body. It was a well-toned and well-used sexual machine that, despite his better nature, Chakotay longed to try. It was too bad it housed a cold, uncaring heart. He turned away from the conflicted vision and entered the bathroom.

Two hundred years from now he was going to offer the treasures of his heart and soul to the younger man in the other room, only to have them pushed aside for something less important, though more substantial. 

It had been only his body Tom had wanted, and when Chakotay had denied him, he had gone elsewhere: to Gerron, the Delaneys, Tabor, and finally B'Elanna, although he had claimed her body in a different way. In silence he had suffered Tom's lovers but the pregnancy had been the final straw. It spoke too closely to the commitment Tom had refused him and, ultimately, it had broken both him and their budding relationship. Too much anger and hate had infused his heart at the treason, leaving little room for love. 

Chakotay sat down on the edge of the tub and opened his trousers. 

The only problem was, it wasn't the dashing blond he hated so much as himself. Despite the betrayal, his heart still yearned for Tom's love as his body ached for his touch. Chakotay closed his eyes and remembered the heated kisses they once shared as his own fingers wrapped around his traitorous organ in preparation.

Tom's hot wet tongue sliding against his, the feel of his lean body pressed into him, oh, spirits, how he missed that. Perhaps he should have fucked the younger man then as he was fucking his fist now, alone in a hotel bathroom. Oh, oh yes, to be inside him, to feel his tight warmth, to, to…

Chakotay stopped thinking and pulled mercilessly at his granite-hard cock. It was always this way when he thought of Tom. First the anger, then the regret and finally the mindless need for release. And always, always without fail, as his orgasm approached, the vision of Tom's clear blue eyes. He saw them now as his seed erupted from him, splashed up over his sweater and trickled down his hand. He opened his eyes to stark white tiled walls.

His throat was tight, so he knew he'd cried out when he came. Chakotay waited for a knock of concern on the wooden door but when it didn't come, he wasn't surprised. If Tom had heard him, he was experienced enough to know he didn't need help but privacy. Chakotay hoped the younger man's discretion would continue when he emerged.

Grabbing a towel from the top of the toilet and sighing deeply, he began to clean away the sticky evidence of his unwanted passion.

********

"One beer, a scotch neat and, oh yeah, a shot of tequila, hold the lemon." Tom added, feeling a little wild.

Ferengi synthehol wouldn't be instituted in Starfleet establishments for another hundred years, so what the fuck. He might as well take advantage of the real stuff while he had the chance. While he waited for the bartender to verify his ID chip, and retrieve his drink order, he leaned his elbows back on the bar and took in his surroundings.

After Chakotay had emerged from the bathroom and his own private orgy, they had decided to check out the local watering holes and do some reconnaissance. Forgoing the formality of the Officer's Club, they had ended up in the more laid-back atmosphere of the Fleet's Junior Ranks. It was a rocking place where everyone, from young up-and-coming officers to crewmen, could mingle and trade gossip. If ever there was a place where one could find out a little inside information, this was it.

The bar looked similar to the one Tom remembered from his academy days, there were a couple of pool tables, pictures of war heroes hanging on the walls, poor lighting and worse ventilation. It was pretty much par for the course except the current clientele was less eclectic. 

The absence of Bolians, Hortas, Deltans, Bajorans and other races not yet members of the Federation, gave the bar a vanilla-like quality. With the exception of the gorgeous man waiting for him at a table under a tattered poster of Zefram Cochrane along the far wall, everyone seemed ordinary to Tom. Bored, he forgot the bar's mundane inhabitants and focused on the star of the room, the recently titled Professor Chakotay.

Damn, but he was one hell of a sexy beast. The bartender brought his order, and Tom, still eating up the commander with his eyes, downed the tequila in one gulp. The golden liquid set fire to his throat. All at once his eyes watered, his nose ran and he began to cough. A broad palm slapped his back.

"My god, boy, that stuff ain't water." a lyrical voice drawled in amusement. "You need to be more careful."

Tom blinked the tears from his eyes and turned around to thank the owner of the hand at his back.

"Holy shit!" he exclaimed in unison with the incredible vision before him.

Thoughts of a parallel universe flashed through Tom's mind, as he stood slack-jawed and staring at the man, a lieutenant according to the pips on his collar, opposite him.

"Either we're cousins or I'm dreaming." his doppelganger said as his blue eyes searched Tom's face. "And since I distinctly remember the delicious waif that woke me this morning, I'd say we're related."

"Related?" he replied dully wondering if it was indeed true.

As far back as he could remember there had always been a Paris in Starfleet and before that, in NASA. This six-foot blond officer, dressed in a clean white shirt covered by a short blue jacket and pants with razor-sharp creases, could very well be one of his ancestors. The hair was a little lighter and longer on the top but the face was definitely his own.

"Yes, as in part of the same family." the lieutenant offered with a wry grin and a mocking tone that was also shockingly familiar. "How many of those there shots have you imbibed tonight, son?" Son? They looked to be the same age.

"One." Tom replied, shell-shocked.

His other self laughed. "Well then hell, maybe you're not one of the clan. There isn't a red-blooded young man alive that can drink a Paris under the table."

Oh shit, well that answered that. Chakotay was going to have a fit when he found out about this. Tom was pretty sure that running into, let alone speaking to your family before you were born wasn't good for the timeline. He stuck out his hand. He was already in trouble. There was no point in being rude too.

"Tom." he offered.

A smile bright enough to light the dark corners of the bar broke out over the charming man's face. "Lieutenant Joshua Lafayette Gabriel Paris of Atlanta, Georgia." A well-manicured hand shook Tom's warmly. "Pleased to make your acquaintance, Thomas."

"Yeah, right back at you Josh."

"Joshua." his twin corrected.

Tom rolled his eyes. "Sorry. So what do you do around here, Joshua?"

"Just about everything." He brushed back a lock of hair where it had fallen over one blue eye. "By day, I'm the protocol officer for the Federation's new Chief of Staff."

Oh terrific, there was nothing more boring than a by-the-book protocol officer. They were the nerds of the Fleet. Tom took another look at his counterpart. He was impeccably groomed with shiny boots and all and stood so straight, Tom could swear he had a pole up his butt. Yep, a nerd.

"And what about by night?" Probably still a nerd, Tom thought. He grabbed the sweating bottle of cold beer from the bar and took a swig.

Joshua leaned forward and whispered. "Between us gentlemen?"

"Yeah gentlemen, whatever." Man, this guy was weird. Tom took another sip.

"I fuck." said the lieutenant plainly in a silken voice.

Tom spewed beer over Joshua's immaculately pressed jacket. It was shockingly odd to hear the crude words spoken with such elegance.

"Preferably someone older, with influence in the Fleet," He pulled a white handkerchief from his pocket and continued on, not skipping a beat as he wiped Tom's spittle from his uniform. "But save that, anyone really." His eyes sparkled. "Call it a hobby."

Whoa-kay, now this he could understand. At least now Tom knew where he got his voracious sexual appetite.

"What about you," Joshua flicked the lone pip on his collar with his fingertips. "Ensign Thomas? What do you do?" 

The lieutenant ordered a bourbon on the rocks while he waited patiently for his answer. The drink came quickly, attesting to the fact that Joshua was probably a regular customer in the Ranks.

"I'm a pilot, and as for hobbies...-" Tom trailed off, wondering just how much he should reveal. He had probably already said more than Chakotay would like.

"A pilot?" A brief look of puzzlement crossed Joshua's face before his easy confidence returned. "As am I, although just an amateur. I'm better with people than I am with machines. In fact I'm the best damn Protocol Officer this ragtag of an outfit has ever seen. If you have a need, I'm the one that can accommodate it. I put the 'pro' in protocol."

"Is that so?" Hmmm. That could come in handy for a couple of guys from the wrong side of the timeline.

Smiling, Joshua raised one hand and placed the other on his chest. "As God is my witness." Then the hand in the air came down to rest gently on Tom's shoulder. Joshua fingered the seam of the ensign's uniform and spoke in a voice like raw silk. It was husky and smooth at the same time. "Damn, Thomas, please forgive my lack of modesty, but you're a fine looking man."

"And possibly a cousin." Tom warned as he removed the fondling fingers.

"A kissing one?" Joshua asked hopefully.

"Nope. Besides, I'm taken."

"Me too. Almost every night." Joshua replied with a hint of the devil in his eyes. Winking, he turned again to the bartender.

The jovial man with the curly mop of blond hair might be a Fleet keener but Tom liked him anyway. Joshua Lafayette Gabriel Paris had just enough of the irascible rogue in him to take the goody two shoes edge off his upper class manners and self-serving ambitions. He was interesting and taking another look at his six-foot tall frame, attractive. If it weren't for Chakotay, he might have been tempted. It wasn't every day you got a chance to fuck yourself. Tom let his eyes travel down Joshua's back to the firm butt encased in impeccably tailored blue trousers.

"So where is she?" Joshua caught the direction of his gaze and amended his inquiry. "Or perhaps I should say he?"

"What? Oh, fuck. Ah, he's over there by the poster of Zefram Cochrane." Tom stammered, out glad the bar was too dark for Joshua to see his blush.

"Where?" The lieutenant stood on his toes and scanned the crowd. The bar had filled considerably since Tom had gone for drinks. "Oh, wait, the Indian with the tattoo?"

"Yeah."

"Very nice, Thomas, very, very nice." he said with an appreciative leer. "Husband?"

"No."

"Good."

Grabbing the tray of drinks the bartender had brought, his twin set off in the direction of Tom's commanding officer. Stunned, Tom watched the seductive sway of his hips as he walked away. It was almost a full minute before his jealousy got his feet moving.

*********

What the hell was keeping Tom?

Chakotay tried looking for the pilot through the throng of people but saw only a wall of bodies. He was becoming increasingly nervous until a familiar tall lean body began to form in the dim lighting of the club. He sighed in relief, his anger and worry dissipating. Chakotay quickly schooled his features back into a neutral mask. It wouldn't do for Tom to see his agitation. It might be construed as concern, or worse, caring. As the man got closer, his distress returned. It was not Tom, it was, was… Spirits, Chakotay didn't know who or what it was.

The well-dressed man set a full tray of drinks down on the table and smiled warmly as he took the seat beside him. "Did it hurt?"

"Did what hurt?" Chakotay replied automatically, still stunned by the likeness.

"When you fell from heaven." The man who bore an uncanny resemblance to the man he hated to love held out a hand tipped with perfectly buffed and trimmed fingernails. "Joshua, and you are?"

He shook the fine-spun appendage. "Chakotay."

"Chaak-koh-tay." He sat mesmerized as his new companion rolled his name off his tongue while still holding his hand. "An appropriate name for an angel." 

Turning Chakotay's palm up, the mock Tom brushed the inside of his wrist lightly with his lips. The kiss was soft and tender, just as he remembered it. Chakotay felt a stirring in his heart 'and' in his trousers.

"OK, Casanova, put it back in your pants." Chakotay jumped with guilt at the sharp sound of Tom's voice. He was about to refute the accusation, when the pilot, who was standing at the head of the table, turned his anger on his twin. "I told you he was mine."

"No, Thomas, what you said was that you were taken and now I see why. I believe I'm quite 'taken' with him myself."

"Tom, what's going on?" Confused, Chakotay looked from one blond to the other. "Who is this?" 

"His name is Lieutenant Josh Paris."

"Joshua, my dear Thomas, Joshua." the entrancing man said in a slow southern drawl.

"Whatever, he's a protocol officer affiliated with the Federation's Chief of Staff." Tom wiggled his eyebrows as if to impress upon him the importance of the position.

Chakotay got the more than obvious hint. Whoever this seductive young man was, his post gave him access to a wealth of strategic information. Odds were that Josh, or Joshua as he apparently liked to be called, would know exactly where the computer hub was that controlled the planetary surveillance system and perhaps even how to shut it down. Gaining his trust and ultimately his cooperation had just become the next step in their mission. 

He leaned provocatively towards the lieutenant catching a whiff of his musky scent as he did so. Combined with the striking blue eyes that were so like the ones that haunted his soul, he was immediately intoxicated. Chakotay bit the inside of his cheek to remind himself this wasn't the man of his fantasies, only a rough, or rather, a refined copy.

"Is one of those drinks for me?" he cooed trying to sound seductive. It had been a while since he'd tried to pick someone up in a bar. In fact, the last time had been in the Maquis when he needed a pilot, but that had been eight years ago and a whole other desperate situation.

"Yes, sir, every one of them if you like." Joshua purred back confirming that some talents you didn't forget.

"Professor, can I talk to you a moment?" the real Tom asked politely, still standing at the table's head.

"Oh, you're a teacher." Joshua moved close enough so their thighs touched. Chakotay didn't pull away. He knew he should but it had been too long since he felt something this good and this real. "You know, I always liked school, Professor."

"Really, Joshua? Which subject was your favorite?"

"Sex education." the charming lieutenant said with perfectly kissable pink lips.

"Chakotay!" Voyager's pilot erupted.

Chakotay broke eye contact with the man who was now rubbing the top of his leg with a slow sensuous hand and answered the outburst. "What is it, Tom?" he said impatiently, secretly pleased at what he hoped was the pilot's jealousy.

"Can I talk you?" His lieutenant glared at the twenty-second century one. "Alone."

Before he had a chance to respond, the agitated pilot hauled him up from the table and over to a dark corner a few meters away. When they were out of hearing distance, Tom rounded on him with his hands set squarely on his hips.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Tom hissed.

"Acquiring a desperately needed contact." he replied smoothly, still enjoying Tom's uncharacteristic behavior.

"Is that what you call it." Tom remarked snidely as unshed tears were clouded his normally clear blue eyes. It was unsettling. Chakotay had wanted to piss off the younger man, to get back some of his own, not to hurt him.

"What are you implying, Lieutenant?" he said sternly ending his self-indulgent game.

"How far will you take it?"

"As far I have to." he admitted. Tom's feelings were one thing but the ship's safety was quite another. "We need him, Tom. Voyager needs him."

"Oh, so you'll fuck him for the good of the ship, is that it? Bullshit, Chakotay, I can see your hard-on from here. Fuck the ship. You want him, for him."

"It's a side effect, that's all." He looked over Tom's shoulder to where Joshua sipped a short amber drink and perused the scenery casually.

"Yeah, right. I'm not sure if you noticed but Josh looks an awful like me." The pilot's face softened and he moved closer. "Let me have him, Chak, I'll get what we need and then you can take that bulge in your pants out on me." Tom pleaded.

"No." Chakotay said firmly, insulted and angered by the pilot's casual offer. Having sex with Tom would be an empty experience. He needed more than that from the beautiful young pilot, much more. 

Tom lowered his lashes and whispered. "I heard you in the bathroom, you know. I heard the moans and the hiss of your breath. And when I listened real hard, I could even hear the swish of your hand on your cock as you jacked off." With the palms of his hands on his chest, Tom pressed him backwards into the wall. "Tell me Chakotay, who do you think of when you come? Is it me?"

When he opened his lips to answer, his mouth was captured in a savage kiss. Showing no mercy, Tom shoved his tongue down Chakotay's throat and slid his hands up to seize the back of his neck in a painful grip. Unlike the sweet sensual kisses they had shared before, this was a brutal attack meant to disarm him and wreak havoc with his defenses. It was working. Chakotay hated it but damn it all to hell, it 'was' working and what's more, he wanted it to. Chakotay redirected his fury and let it fuel the black passion.

Slipping a hand between them, he rubbed Tom's cock roughly through his uniform. It was hard and warm under his angry fingers. The pilot cried out into his mouth and pushed his hips forward into the violent caress. The back of Chakotay's hand pressed into his own raging erection in tortured bliss as Tom crashed against him repeatedly in waves. 

Biting and sucking they ate away at each other. Necks were bruising, lips were becoming raw and breaths were shortening. They were a tangled mess of manic, furtive desire but in the dark bar no one saw or if they did, they didn't care. 

Chakotay was on the verge of release when Tom wrestled away from him. His blue eyes were wild and his lips were swollen and chafed. Chakotay had never seen the younger man look so wildly sensual and it excited him. 

"Hurting me gets you horny, doesn't it." Tom rasped.

The statement shocked and repulsed Chakotay. It was an abhorrent thing to say, even if it was true. He *was* turned on by the violent nature of their coupling but his sense of morality didn't want to let him admit it. It wasn't right that this hostile foreplay should feel so good. Confused, Chakotay lifted his forearms and shoved the sex-mauled blond back with the heels of his hands. The pilot fell back a step.

"It's OK, Chak, I liked it." Tom's chest heaved in time with his flaring nostrils. "In fact, I liked it a lot."

Tom crept towards him and in reflex, Chakotay's arm shot out. In a perfect right hook his bunched fist connected squarely with the pilot's chin, sending him flying backwards into the crowd. The net of bodies prevented him from falling but not from twisting from the impact of the punch. Tom stumbled into them but rebounded quickly. Like a big cat, he spun and began to stalk Chakotay again. Blood trickled from the corner of his feral grin. 

"Don't make me hit you again." Chakotay warned.

The younger man stopped his predatory advance, only inches away. With his tongue, Tom licked the blood from the corner of his mouth, letting it coat his lower lip. It took all of Chakotay's strength not to lean forward and kiss it off.

"You're getting off on my pain, aren't you?" Tom growled low in his throat, with a knowing gleam in his eyes. "You don't want to admit it, but seeing me hurt and knowing you're the cause of it makes you horny."

"No, no...-" His voice eked out in a trembled whisper. With the younger man standing so close, Chakotay was virtually vibrating with excitement.

"Oh yeah, you are, and it's killing you." Tom tilted his head and leaned forward. Chakotay closed his eyes and parted his lips, waiting for the taste of the pilot's coppery kiss. His eyes flew back open when he felt Tom's hot breath caress only his ear. "Well, news flash, Chakotay, some of us like a little pain mixed with our pleasure. It's not wrong or kinky, just different."

Moving backwards with a slow grace, Tom stepped away from him and bled into the crowd. Leaning against the wall for support, Chakotay watched as the tall blond wound his way through the patrons of the bar and back to their table. Once there, Tom selected a small glass from the tray of drinks Joshua had brought and downed its contents quickly. After wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he picked up two more and made equally short work of them too, before taking Joshua by the arm and leading him from the bar.

Shattered to the core, Chakotay made no move to halt their departure. Instead he found the closest available seat and collapsed.

********

"Oh yes, sugar, don't move, don't move."

Tom woke to feel a hot body undulating behind him and an iron-like hardness sliding between his thighs. Having only enough strength to fight the pounding in his head, he remained still and pressed his legs tight together so the thrusting pulled painfully at his short hairs.

"Oh, Thomas, oh, oh, oh!"

As a flood of wetness filled the space below his balls, a sweating palm seized his morning erection. In a few short strokes he came and when the beating of his heart returned to normal, Tom found his headache was gone. He rolled back into his early bird lover's arms.

"Oh, sugar, you're a mess."

"No thanks to you, Joshua." Tom replied, indicating with his eyes his semen-soaked groin.

"No, no, I meant the rest of you. Look up."

Tom looked from the concerned eyes of his twin to the ceiling and cringed. Reflected back in a mirror the size of the four-poster bed he was lying in, were two naked images of him, one flushed pink with orgasm around the face, neck and shoulders and the other dotted black and blue with bruises.

"Oh, shit." Tom ran his tongue over his swollen bottom lip.

"You were quite the little hellcat last night Thomas." From nowhere Joshua produced a white towel and began the process of cleaning them both up. "And you gave the professor quite a fright."

"Chakotay!" 

For all intents and purposes, he was technically AWOL, or perhaps 'missing in action' was a better term. Either way he was in trouble on so many levels it made his head ache again. He started to get up but Joshua pushed him back down.

"Don't worry, I commed your hotel and left a message for your boyfriend. I told him I would keep your incredibly fuckable body safe."

"Oh, please, tell me you didn't say it that way."

"No, I think I left out the incredible part." The lieutenant grinned as he tossed the towel into a hamper to the right of the bed.

"Joshua!"

"Oh, hush, Thomas, I didn't say anything that would get you in trouble with your commander. I merely reported your whereabouts."

"Commander?" Oh, shit, just how drunk was he last night?

"Yes, that's what you kept calling him as you tried to get all wild and wooly with me."

"It's a nick-name, part of the scene." he offered in explanation hoping Joshua would buy it. He didn't.

"If you say so."

OK, OK, so maybe he'd blown his cover. In misery he closed his eyes and wondered what, or more correctly whom, else he'd blown last night in his desperate flight from Chakotay.

He peeked an eye open. "Did we, you know…-"

"Fuck? No. You wanted to, ooh wee but you were randy. However, you were also three sheets to the wind and obviously hankering for somebody else. I'm a gentleman, Thomas. I don't take anyone on false pretenses."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, but if you're really grateful, you'll do something for me."

"What? Like let you dry hump me while I'm sleeping?"

"Oh, no need to get nasty. Besides, you were awake. You could have stopped me with one word."

"Granted." He could have told Joshua no but he did usually whack off first thing before getting up in the morning. Masturbating with his twin had been no more than a variation on a theme. "OK, Josh," Tom called the man by the abbreviation of his name. They were way past the point of formalities in his opinion. "What is it you want?"

"Tell me who you are."

"I told you. My name is Tom and I'm a Starfleet pilot."

"Yes, and I'm the queen of Sheba. I'm not an idiot, Thomas. I know that the Fleet isn't so starved for men to fly their ships that they enlist ensigns. Nor do said ensigns call their lovers commander no matter what S & M games they're into." Josh rolled on top of him and pressed a thumb to a particularly sensitive bruise near his jugular. The touch was light and only tingled, for now. "What are you? A Vulcan-no, you have too much spunk for that, how about a Romulan spy? Did you have your hair dyed and your ears clipped hoping to infiltrate the fledgling Federation?"

"That's ridiculous, Josh. I'm no spy." Tom tried to laugh casually but it came off as a weak and hollow whine.

Josh squinted at him. "No, I can see now you're not but you're something that's not quite on the up and up." The man pinning him to the mattress peered deep into his eyes. "You're different somehow. So tell me, and I warn you, Thomas, don't lie to me. Believe me, as your double I'll know."

"I can't tell you."

"You will if you want to keep your gorgeous Indian out of the hands of the authorities. So if I were you, and I almost am, I'd give it up." The sexy southern drawl turned menacing as a well-manicured nail bit into his neck. "Who are you?"

"Lieutenant Thomas Eugene Paris!" He liked pain but not for its own sake.

"A Paris? One of mine?"

"Yes, dammit!" Tom bucked his hips and easily flipped his befuddled captor off. Pissed at Josh for finding his weakness and making him break his cover, he straddled his nude counterpart and yelled into his face. "What the hell did you think I was? A fucking clone?"

"No, but a Paris? That's impossible." Joshua, unperturbed by Tom's anger, got comfortable. He folded his arms up under his head and brought his knees up while pondering the new information. "I'm aware of every person, legitimate or bastard, and there's not a few of those, born a Paris. You're not one of them." he said slowly. "Nothing is more important to me than the family name so I should know."

Tom shook his head. "Oh, fuck, that's where my father gets his archaic diatribe." He relaxed back against Joshua's thighs. "Look, cousin, whether you want to believe it or not, I'm blood of your blood, flesh of your flesh and so on and so on. I'm just a little ahead of the times."

"You're from the future? Oh, come on, how's that possible?"

Tom told him, everything.

********

Was there a difference between pain and suffering?

That was the question that had kept Chakotay up half the night. He knew he should be concentrating on how to shut down the satellite system and get Voyager home, but every time he thought of the mission he thought about how to use Joshua, and every time he thought of using Joshua, he automatically thought about using Tom. And every time he thought about using Tom, well let's just say it was a vicious inescapable cycle.

He shoved his hands deeper into the pockets of his black leather jacket. San Francisco had a temperate climate but even this sunniest of cities was chilly at six in the morning before the sun rose. From his position on a park bench across from Starfleet's officer barracks, Chakotay killed time by watching the plume of his breath as it blended into the fog that rolled off the bay.

Pain and pleasure, could the two really be mixed?

Greg Ayala had thought so. The large lumbering man who had been his lover during his time in the Maquis enjoyed it when the sex got a little rough. It hadn't happened often, but sometimes after a particularly close brush with death, aka the Cardassians, they would retreat to the nearest dark corner and fuck each other with brutal need. 

However after the dust had settled and the crisis was past, he was shamed when he saw what his violent passions had done to Ayala's body. Although his lover had been willing and had even encouraged his barbarity, Chakotay had never found his blood or bruises sexy. Making love was supposed to be an expression of attraction and gentle caring and not a raging assault. When Greg had tried to get him to repeat his performance during down times on the Crazy Horse, he had been nauseated with his lover's whimpering pleas and had eventually ended the relationship. 

Now here he was again, with another partner who craved the upper most limits of his dark desires, only this time it was different. He hadn't been totally appalled when he saw what his hands had done. There had even been a large part of him that had been enraptured and, when he thought about it now, the morning after, almost proud. 

Where Greg's cuts and bruises had been abhorrent, Tom's had been erotic. The revelation had scared him and he had tried to deny it, even going so far as to push the younger man away physically. It had been a futile mistake. Thomas Eugene Paris was not Greg Ayala. 

Tom did not play the simpering victim, not while he was in his arms or after when he'd been forcibly rejected. Chakotay's own sore lips and mottled throat were testaments to that. He ran an absent hand over his bruises. Tom had pushed back when pushed, becoming the aggressor. The pilot had understood his visceral reaction to their cruel lovemaking and shared it. It had been an inconceivable event that had taken him all night to even begin to get a handle on. Unfortunately with that small bit of clarity came more confusion.

Did Tom's ability to see through to his dark side mean the tempestuous blond loved him? Could he do so if he didn't? Right now, as Chakotay sat waiting in the early morning gloom, the pilot was with another man, probably fucking him and maybe letting him hurt him, but that was just Tom. Chakotay hadn't succumbed to another's touch once he realized he was in love with the pilot but that was just him. Tom's mind worked differently, so maybe his heart did too. Chakotay peered up at the pristine white building across the cobbled footpath, searching its many floors for the window where his love was.

And waited.

********

"Is that who I think it is?"

"What, him? He's a nobody, well correction he is something but not anyone famous."

"Not yet."

"Oh, stop it. The way you tell it, I'm fucking half of history."

"If you've had him, you are. He's the one that made nice, nice with the Cardassians for the first time."

"The who?"

"Never mind, where's Chakotay?"

"I think I saw him by the buffet chatting to a Vulcan. You know you should keep him away from there. He looks so yummy, people might want to eat him."

"Not on my shift."

"Oh, give me a break, you're not even doing him."

"I don't have to. We're in love."

"Says who, the great bird of the galaxy?"

"Who?"

"Now you never mind. Look, Thomas, I'm running this little post-signing shindig, so there are a few things I have to take care of. Why don't you go make 'nice, nice' as you put it, with the professor, while I get done what needs getting off."

"Getting off?"

"Yes, man does not live by luncheon alone. If I want to get ahead, I have to give it, OK?"

"Oh, I see. You're having a liquid lunch."

"You're a fucking pervert, Paris."

"Yes, I know. It runs in the family."

"And so do charm and devilishly good looks. Now get your ass over there and make up with him."

"How? He wasn't real pleased about last night."

"Because you told me who you are?"

"No, I think he understands that. We need you to shut down the hub. It's the fact that I didn't come home."

"Oh, sugar, if he loves you, he'll understand that too."

"Well, that's the kicker. I'm not a hundred percent sure about that anymore."

"But you just said not one minute ago you were."

"Wishful thinking, I guess. Josh, I let him know something last night I spent seven years hiding from him. He kinda freaked when he found out."

"Ah, the punch."

"Yeah, the punch."

"Oh, sorry, I thought that was part of it."

"Part of what? The guy fucking hit me."

"Yes, I know, but don't you get off on that kind of thing?"

"No. Chakotay hit me because he was angry. It's not about that."

"So he can hurt you but only when he's not mad."

"It's more complicated than that."

"Yes, well, it's beyond my sensibilities. Give me soft lips and softer hands, and I'm happy. The only hard thing I want, I want only for a little while and then even that gets soft."

"That's OK. It's not for everyone."

"How long have you been doing it?"

"Me? Forever. I can't come anymore without a pinch here or bite there. I almost married a Klingon because every time we made love she left me a bloodied but satisfied mess."

"Why didn't you?"

"I wasn't in love with her. I wanted to be and I think she wanted that too but some things you can't force."

"I'm sorry, sugar."

"Don't be. We have a little girl together now because of it and she's beautiful. I miss them both."

"You're a father? What does that make me?"

"Since I don't have access to Voyager's databanks, I couldn't tell you, but after what we did this morning, at the very least were kissing cousins."

"I didn't kiss you, sugar, and the funny thing about it was, I didn't really want to. I woke up, your sweet ass was there, my dick was hard, oh, I don't know, you do the math."

"And what's the explanation for what happened in the shower, while we were getting dressed, thanks for the uniform by the way, I'm in two piece heaven, and as we tried heading out the door?"

"Would you believe curiosity with a dash of novelty? Look, Thomas, all we did was jack each other off. OK, so in the shower I used my mouth instead of my hand, big deal. I didn't hear you complaining as I twisted your tit."

"I was busy."

"Yes, I know, coming into my mouth. Now if you'll excuse me, my sweet, sweet Thomas, now that I'm all worked up, I have work to do."

"Are you going to do Tucker?"

"The Cardassian guy? No, I hadn't planned on it, but if you go make up with the professor, I'll consider it."

"Done."

"Then so is he. Now go. I'll meet you back at my quarters in two or three hours. If I'm not there right away, let yourself in. My door should recognize your voice print."

"Wish me luck, Josh."

"I'll do more than that, cousin. I'll wish you love."

********

"He says he has a contact."

"Who?"

"Some guy named Dr Samuel Griffon. He's the administrator of the satellite tracking and data relay station in Arizona."

Tom waited.

"Sunset Crater? That's where the surveillance hub is?"

"Yeah, his people have maintained the facility for about a hundred years. It was some kind of trade off, first with the United World government and now I suppose with the Federation, for the land."

"Joshua knows this person and he'll help us?"

"Well, not exactly knows him, he's spoken to Griffon a few times over sub-space radio. Nothing fancy, just a transfer of reports."

Tom waited again.

"So they don't really know each other at all. Is that it?"

"No, I guess not, but Josh does have the authority to get us in there, so we can."

"I suppose that's something."

Chakotay nodded and then continued his pacing. The big man hadn't stopped moving since they had entered Josh's apartments. He was navigating the two rooms in a complicated pattern, circumventing the third, the bathroom, by weaving around the couch, the easy chair and the huge four-poster bed that stood out like a sore thumb in the utilitarian quarters. Tom stood by the end of the big bed, speaking to the commander when his convoluted arc brought him close. He was coming back again and this time he actually stopped.

"Did you fuck him?" Chakotay said out of the blue.

"Griffon?" he replied, confused.

"No. Joshua."

"Oh. Define fucking." Tom ventured cautiously. 

If it had been anyone else asking, he would have simply said no. However, there was nothing simple about this handsome man or their relationship. Given the subterfuge he had participated in in the last year, Tom felt the need to have things spelled out as clearly and honestly as possible. If it screwed things up, well then, so be it. It couldn't be any worse than it was now.

"You did, then." Chakotay said with a morose finality that broke his heart.

"He didn't penetrate me or vice versa, if that's what you mean." Tom said quickly.

"No?" The big man took a deep breath. "But you did have some kind of sex with him." Each word spoken seemed painful for him.

"You don't want to know the answer to that, so why are you asking?"

"I don't know." Chakotay slumped down on the edge of the bed and lowered his head. "I don't know anything anymore." he replied, so quietly that Tom had drop to his knees on the floor near his feet to hear him.

"If it means anything, I've been pretty much celibate for close to eight months." Tom began as he sat cross-legged on the floor. "Letting Josh touch me and me him, well, that was something that just happened. It had been a long time and I was horny, he was horny, and it happened, four times." Tom paused to look up at the commander. His dark eyes were closed. Tom took a deep breath and continued. "Four times, Chak. I came just four times in the last eight months by someone else's hand. When you think about the big picture, that's only once every two months, not much really. But maybe for you that's four times too many."

"Did he…," Chakotay's eyes opened as he flailed for words. Tom could see the hesitancy in them. "Did he do it how you like it?"

"No, not really. I'm a bit of a masochist, Chak. I, I like to be hurt during sex." There, he'd said it. "And Joshua's no sadist. He couldn't bring on the shine. He doesn't have the taste for it."

"I don't like it either, Tom."

"No, but I think you could learn to."

"The intensity of it frightens me. I don't want to learn to like it."

"But you've already started." Tom said gently as he ran his palm along the underside of Chakotay's calf.

"Is this simply sex for you?"

"No Chakotay. Sex isn't simple for someone like me. I don't react the same way, supposedly normal people do. I need a great amount of trust to truly enjoy the experience. So for me to have a genuinely satisfying sexual relationship, it has to go beyond the physical."

"To love?"

"No. I didn't love B'Elanna but it was good with her. She understood me."

Under his fingertips, Tom felt the older man stiffen at the mention of the engineer's name. That was another tender issue yet to be dealt with. Chakotay was quiet a few moments. When he broke his silence and asked his next question, his voice was husky.

"What was it like when you were in love, then?"

"I don't know. It's never happened."

"You've never been in love?" The commander looked at him oddly.

"I didn't say that." I love you.

The words practically beamed from every fibre of his body but Tom was unable to articulate them. Chakotay was having a hard enough time assimilating his sexual preferences, how would he react to his love? One mind-shattering revelation at a time, Tom thought, as he brought the point back around. 

"I'd like to be with you, Chakotay."

"I don't know if I can. I, I don't know how."

Well, that wasn't a no. Very slowly Tom moved to his knees and slid his hands high on the commander's legs until they rested on the top of his thighs, a hair's breadth away from the crotch of his jeans. Through the black denim he could see clearly the outline of a sturdy erection. Chakotay's mind might be confused but his body wasn't. Tom brushed the hidden beauty with the fingertips of one hand. Above him he heard a quick hiss of air being sucked through teeth and when he increased the pressure of his fingers, a shuddering breath. Sitting on his heels, Tom began the process of divesting Chakotay of his trousers. 

With a gentle shove he pushed the older man back on the bed. Shoes and socks, they had to go first. Tom bent down and removed the obstructions. After tossing them over his shoulder he climbed back up for the main event, but as his hands reached for the fastenings of the black denims, they were replaced by dark olive toned ones. Falling back on his heels, he gave Chakotay room to take his own pants off. Soon they too ended up in a high arc over his shoulder. Tom smiled. It seemed the commander's mind was catching up with his body.

"Come here, Tom." said a gravelly voice.

Not needing to be told twice, he centered himself between his soon to be lover's knees and buried his head in his groin. Placing a cheek on Chakotay's bare hip, Tom closed his eyes and breathed the musky scent emanating from the commander's exposed genitals deep into his lungs. Mmmm, testosterone never smelled so good. A questing hand in his hair broke the spell and reminded him that he was here for a reason.

Hunching over, he pulled Chakotay's rigid cock away from his belly with one hand, and slipped the other under the thin black sweater that covered the other man's heaving chest. Opening his mouth, wincing slightly from the last remaining souvenir from the previous evening, he had allowed Josh to regenerate the other injuries, Tom laid claim to what he intended to make his forever. 

The dark purple head was weeping and Tom cleaned it with his tongue before sucking the whole of the crest in. Chakotay moaned and lifted his hips, sinking his cock deep within Tom's mouth. Tom quickly relaxed his throat to facilitate the immediate entry. He had wanted to take his time and bring him slowly to orgasm but it seemed the commander had other ideas. That was OK. He was flexible. He could work with that.

Holding his head stationary while tightening his lips, Tom allowed Chakotay to pump. He kept his hands busy by guiding the thrusting cock in his mouth and by teasing lightly the small hard nubs on the undulating man's smooth chest.

"Oh, spirits, Tom, you feel so good, so good." Chakotay groaned.

Tom felt so grateful to be here, he would have actually said thank you if his mouth weren't so full.

"Oh spirits, I'm going to come, oh, oh…,"

Chakotay began to spasm and Tom, feeling inspired, took a chance. Taking an erect nipple between his thumb and forefinger, he squeezed hard. The pinch elicited a roar from his partner but not an objection. Encouraged, Tom released his grip, scraped his nails across the broad chest and gave the other nipple a rough twist. This time instead of crying out, Chakotay shuddered and came with a long drawn out moan. As hot semen coated the back of his throat, Tom gently massaged the burning nubs with his cool fingers.

When the man beneath him stilled, Tom released him and climbed up beside him on the bed. He was welcomed with big strong arms. Ignoring his own burning need, Tom settled on Chakotay's chest, rubbed his face in the soft cashmere of his sweater and closed his eyes.

"I think of you, I always have and now I think I always will." Chakotay whispered as he petted his hair.

Like a cat, Tom butted his head into the caress and purred. "That's good babe."

As they lay quietly in the borrowed bed together, Tom waited on tenterhooks for Chakotay to say something about the pain.

"You have strong hands." the commander said finally.

"Yeah, strong hands, weak heart." Tom murmured. That was lame. "I mean did you like it?" he asked, knowing the answer was positive but that didn't mean shit. Chakotay's body had definitely reacted favourably to his brand of lovemaking but that might not translate well to his mind, especially now that it was over. If he was going to feel guilty or ashamed, this was the time. Tom had seen it happen before.

"It hurt."

"Yeah, and?" Tom propped himself up Chakotay's chest and folded his arms.

"But it was kind of a rush too. I was coming, and that felt good but I could still feel the pain and, oh, I don't know. When they mixed it caused a sort of buzz throughout my whole body that eventually went straight to my dick and made it tingle or something. Does that make sense?"

"It's called shining. It happens when your body's natural painkillers, endorphins set in. They're also active during orgasm so when those things are combined, it creates a pretty powerful natural high."

"Shining? Is that the technical term?"

"No, that's just what I call it." Tom bit his lip and let his eyes wander. "It makes me feel so bright and alive, I feel like I'm literally exploding into a million particles of light."

"And that's what you need to feel fulfilled?" Chakotay lifted his head from the mattress into his unsteady gaze. "To be hurt while being made love to?"

"Yes, but," Tom blushed feverishly under Chakotay's scrutiny. "I, I like it more intense than what I gave you. Can you handle that? Could you do that to me now that you've had a taste of it yourself?"

"More?" The big man's eyes went wide and Tom thought he could see a hint of fear behind the surprise in their ebony depths.

"I don't know, Tom. It's not what I was taught and it's not how I want to touch you."

Disappointment crashed down around him. "It's OK, Chak. It's a lot to ask, I know. I'm sorry." Tom started to roll off him but Chakotay caught his arm.

"I didn't say no. It just it's a lot to take all at once. We've been apart for almost a year because you chose B'Elanna over me and now you tell me about this. I need time, Tom."

"I didn't choose her over you."

"Yes, dammit ,you did and I hated you for that." Chakotay let go of his arm and brushed his face with his knuckles tenderly. "But I loved you too. You were fucking everyone on the ship and I still loved you. Do you know how much I hated that? Wanting someone who didn't want me back?" he said sadly.

If ever there was an opening to let the big man know how he really felt, this was it. Tom took a deep breath and went for it.

"I…-" he began. 

"Oh my stars, gentlemen!" came an amused voice behind him, laced with laughter.

Tom twisted on the bed to see Joshua leaning casually against the frame of the big wide doorway that separated the living room from the bedroom. In a flash, Chakotay was up from the bed, grabbing his pants and heading for the bathroom. Tom fell back on the mattress in misery, mourning lost chances.

Now this was real pain.

********

"So did he tell you this afternoon?"

Chakotay looked over at Joshua, who was relaxing comfortably at the helm of the small craft they had rented to bring them to Arizona. They were in an automated holding pattern over Sunset Crater awaiting clearance to land, so Chakotay wasn't too concerned about the southern blond's lack of attention to the controls.

"Yes, he told me." And showed me but that wasn't anybody's business but his own.

"And did you say it back?"

"Say it back?"

"Yes, when someone professes their love for you, you're supposed to reciprocate, or at least that's what we do in my century."

"Love? Tom loves me?" Chakotay glanced over his shoulder to the back of the small craft where Tom was curled up asleep.

"Yes, of course. What, -oh dear. He didn't tell you, did he? No? I don't know why not. I gave him enough time, and lord knows he was aching to."

"We talked about something else." Chakotay replied absently, not really paying attention. He was still trying to digest the fact that Tom was in love with him.

"Oh, his partiality to rough sex." Joshua chuckled. "Yes, I suppose that would be something to talk about. A bit of a surprise, was it?"

"Yes." But not as much as this, he thought.

"Mmm-uh, but you got over it." Chakotay glared at him for his impertinence. However the glower was lost on the jovial man. "Hey, you were the one sans pants when I walked in, Professor, not me."

"That's personal, Joshua." He tried to sound stern but suspected he had failed. A creeping joy was starting to suffuse his being and Chakotay was having trouble keeping it in.

Joshua smiled. "Yes, yes." A squawk came out of his console and the lieutenant responded. "We've got clearance. Griffon's on the ground waiting for us."

"Is he going be happy to see us?"

"Oooh, I'm not sure about that. Griffon's not a big fan of Starfleet or the newly formed Federation. He's a civilian and a bit of rebel, normally someone I wouldn't be caught dead socializing with, not good for the career, you see." His fine-boned hands played the little ship's controls as deftly as Tom's would have as he rambled on. Chakotay in his budding good mood couldn't help but smile at the similarity. "However, I did tell him you were a fellow native and a amateur astronomer, so he agreed to give us a tour. You do know a little something about the stars, don't you, Professor?"

"I get by."

"Well, I hope you can do more than that, 'cause this gentleman's an expert."

"You said he was a rebel, why?"

"He protested the signing at Babel, saying it was prejudicial to his people. I think it had something to do with the Federation agreement contravening an earlier one but don't quote me on that. You see, he's not only the official administrator of the Sunset Crater Array, he's also the unofficial leader of the native group that resides within its compound."

"He's a chieftain?"

"Is that like a prince?"

"Sort of."

"Well according to Fleet brass, he is a royal pain in the ass if you know what I mean."

"By standing up for his beliefs and his people?" This time Chakotay had no problem putting an edge to his voice. Thoughts of his own tribe's conflict with the Federation during the Cardassian peace talks had reawakened old feelings of betrayal.

"Look, Professor, don't kill the messenger. I'm just reporting what I know about the guy."

"Sorry, Joshua." he said sincerely.

The younger man winked. "It's OK. I like your spunk and if you weren't so tied up in knots over my doppelganger, I'd do something about it."

"About that. Are you sure Tom loves me?"

"Yeah, he is." said a voice behind them.

Chakotay turned in his seat to see a smiling and a very awake Tom Paris. He grinned back.

********

"I love you."

"Tell me again." the older man demanded as he jumped into the back seat with Tom.

Tom laughed, and then screamed at the top of his lungs. "I love you!"

It felt so good to finally say it. Almost as good as seeing the joy in Chakotay's eyes each time he did. Damn, if he'd known it would be this wonderful, he would have said it months ago.

"I love you too, Tom. Oh, spirits, how I do." Chakotay answered him back with shining eyes before kissing him soundly on the mouth.

Melting into 'his' commander, Tom's world became a whole lot bigger. The small compartment they were presently making out in like teenagers, seemed barely large enough to hold all the happiness and love he felt. 

"Ah, guys? This is real sweet, not to mention borderline pornographic, but our host is here."

Chakotay pulled away first. Tom followed his retreating face with his lips capturing one more kiss before sitting up and putting his clothing back to rights. With the current enlarged state of his groin, he had never been more thankful to Josh for loaning him a two-piece uniform.

Together they stepped out of the shuttle and into the arid atmosphere of Arizona's desert.

******

"Is this a joke?"

If it was, it was beyond his imagining, Chakotay thought, as he faced the man known as Dr Samuel Griffon.

"No sir." he managed to croak out. 

Taking the lead, as both of the Paris men were struck dumb by the sight of the facility's administrator, he stuck out his hand.

"My name is Chakotay." he said with the deepest respect. This man was a chieftain after all. "And these," he nodded to the two men flanking him, "are Ensign Thomas Paris and Lieutenant Joshua Paris, brothers." He added by way of partial explanation. 

"And are you 'my' brother?" Samuel replied crisply with his arms tight to his sides. Chakotay dropped his hand and bowed instead.

"No sir, not exactly."

What now? Did he tell Dr Griffon who he was? He hadn't been too pleased when Tom had told Joshua about Voyager. In fact, he had spent the better part of an hour lecturing the pilot about temporal mechanics and the dangers of screwing with the timeline, and had meant every word. Did he now become a hypocrite? Stalling for time, Chakotay surveyed the angry and suspicious man before him.

Salt and pepper hair topped a fine-boned face weathered a burnt sienna. He didn't have a boxer's nose but he did have the hardy build. Familiar brown eyes and a full bottom lip rounded out the rest of his face. The only significant difference between himself and Samuel Griffon was that Griffon bore no tattoo on his forehead. This man was his twin as much as Joshua was Tom's.

"Who are you?" the doctor asked.

"Tell him, Chak. It's OK."

Looking into Tom's clear blue eyes and seeing the love and support there was all the push he needed. He turned to Dr Griffon.

"Tell me, chieftain, what do you know about temporal mechanics?"

********

"They're not really the same."

"I agree, sugar. Chakotay is of better character than Griffon." Joshua whispered back.

After hearing, on Sunset Crater's airfield, a short version of their arrival in the twenty-second century, Samuel Griffon had been sufficiently convinced of their story to invite them back to his home. The gracious doctor had served them dinner and then had welcomed them to stay the night. Having unpacked their meager belongings they had reconvened in the main room of the spacious adobe.

In front of a whitewashed fireplace big enough for four men to stand upright in, Chakotay and Samuel sat on large pillows in deep conversation. Tom and Joshua were cuddled up together under a colourfully woven blanket on an over stuffed lounge, having their own exchange a few metres from the two men parallel to the hearth. The younger men talked in hushed tones so their voices wouldn't carry.

The flames from the fire illuminated a circle around the four men but did not extend far into the darkness of the rest of the high walled chamber. Long shadows and flickering light gave the room a romantic glow that infected at least two of its inhabitants.

"Character?"

"Yes, yours is a commander in the Federation and the other is a menace to society."

"Oh, he is not, Griffon's just standing up for what he believes in. This is his home, Josh."

Over dinner, Samuel had explained how the new accord negotiated on Babel would supplant his people, a gathering of souls from various aboriginal tribes, and replace them with Federation personnel. It would be done slowly by attrition, over the course of eight or nine years, but eventually there wouldn't be one Indian left on the Sunset Crater reserve and a whole culture would be lost. He couldn't tell Josh, but it was a tragedy that Tom knew from history class would come true. These people would be forced to leave Earth and would eventually colonize Dorvan V.

"It's just a relay station, Tom."

"Yeah, and a plantation's just a farm."

"OK, OK, I get it, but I'd still rather do your version of tall, dark and handsome."

"Oh, don't tell me you, Mr 'I fuck for a hobby' are turning down a hot number like Griffon?"

"Well, I wouldn't normally but…-"

"But what?" Tom poked his twin in the ribs playfully.

"He's not interested in me, OK. Are you satisfied?" Josh pouted.

"How can you tell that?"

"He was looking at you, not me, but you, all through dinner."

"But I *am* you, Josh."

"Apparently the doctor doesn't think so."

"You do like him, don't you?"

"Maybe. He might be fun for a night."

"I doubt if he works that way. If he's anything like Chakotay, he's going to want more than a one-night stand."

"Well, that would make my momma real happy but not me. I'm not that kind of a guy. I get bored too easily." Josh replied defiantly with just a little too much bravado. 

It was all too depressingly familiar. The cocky attitude, the air of indifference, Tom had played this same role so many times before and knew it so well, he owned it. Hell, he held the copyright on it. 

"Belonging to someone can be a little scary, I know, been there, bought the tee-shirt, but it can also be pretty great." He rubbed Josh's knee under the blanket. "Do me a favour and give Samuel a chance before you write him off, OK?"

"OK, Thomas." he said dramatically. "But how do I get him to like me?"

"Oh, that's easy, use your secret weapon."

"And what would that be, my dear boy?"

Tom winked at his companion and then smiled brightly.

"Charm, my dear boy." he replied with a slow southern drawl, mimicking his cousin. "The old Paris charm."

******** 

His world was in chaos, but incredibly, he was at peace.

Displaced in time and space, he had never felt more where he was supposed to be. Closing his eyes, Chakotay leaned against the headboard and listened to the night song of the Arizona desert and the small personal sounds of his lover preparing himself in the bathroom. If the odds prevailed against them and Voyager was unable to return through the wormhole, it would be no real hardship. With very little effort he could make this Earth his home, as long as Tom was with him.

A cool breeze from the open veranda played across his bare chest and he smiled. It already was home.

So many things about this place reminded Chakotay of Dorvan V before the troubles with the Cardassians. The mountains, the earthen houses baked from clay and ash, and the strong sense of community the people exuded, touched something very deep within his soul. He was humbled by it and thankful to Samuel for bringing it all together for him.

Without a doubt the chieftain was the grandfather of his grandfathers, but Chakotay's sudden fealty went beyond genealogy. It was all about how this quietly passionate man lived and viewed his world. His reverence for his heritage, his loyalty to his people, and his love of life were what made him a person to be honoured and respected. He did not have to be family for Chakotay to be drawn to him. 

Dr Samuel Griffon was the embodiment of the principles and morals he himself had been taught. Griffon was the hero from the stories Chakotay's grandfather had told him as a child. It had been quite the turn about to tell this fabled warrior his own tale.

Samuel had given Chakotay his full attention while he explained the circumstances of their plight. At appropriate times he had asked questions, but for the most part the pensive man had listened in silence. When he was done and the fire had burned low in the fireplace, Samuel had announced without further comment that it was time for bed. 

He had not immediately offered his help, nor had he denied it, and out of respect Chakotay had not pressed him. He would wait patiently until Samuel was ready to speak. One did not question the actions of one's elders. Until then he had the Arizona night to enjoy and, of course, Tom.

Opening his eyes, he looked at the closed bathroom door. For the last fifteen minutes the pilot had been ensconced within its confines preparing for bed. All the preparation Chakotay had needed was to remove his clothing and jump under the covers. Spirits knew what secret rituals Tom was performing to make himself ready. 

He rubbed his erection absently through the covers with the palm of his hand and hoped his lover would come out soon.

********

How much could he ask for?

Tom stepped from the tub and wiped himself down with a fluffy towel.

It would be their first time together, so perhaps not too much. He didn't want to scare Chakotay. On the other hand he was reluctant to hold back his needs. He had learned in these last months that keeping his feelings from the older man was not wise, and, in the past day, that sharing them was glorious. So that begged the question again. How much pain did he ask for and more importantly how did he go about getting it?

Back in his cabin on Voyager Tom had a variety of toys to help bring on the shine. Velvet paddles, soft leather whips and clamps filled a chest in the bottom of his closet, but here the pickings were a little slim. After tossing the towel aside and raking his fingers through his damp hair, he picked up his toothbrush and considered the problem. 

He supposed he could go outside to find a sapling to make a switch from but that would play hell with the mood. Oh, he could just hear himself asking permission to leave now. He placed his hands down and spoke with his toothbrush sticking out of one side of his mouth.

"Ah, excuse me, Chak, while I slip out to find a stick for you to whip my ass with." Tom let loose a nervous giggle and sprayed toothpaste all over the vanity mirror. Nope, not romantic at all, he told his image in the glass with a silly lopesided grin. A dismal thought collapsed his smile.

All nonsense aside, Tom wasn't foolish enough to believe true love alone conquered all. The sex had to be good too. His mouth screwed up again. It would be a cruel twist of fate if he could love Chakotay but could only make love to B'Elanna. Man, that would suck big time.

Rinsing his mouth, he grabbed his white dress shirt off the back of the door. He slipped it over his shoulders and fastened the front closed with only one button at his navel.

Finally ready physically if not mentally, Tom opened the door and hoped to be 'hit' at the very least by one thing when Chakotay made love to him.

Inspiration.

******** 

Oh, spirits! Was that all his?

Chakotay bolted up right in bed at the vision of Tom dressed in only a shirt standing in the bathroom doorway. His elbows were resting level with his blond head on opposite sides of the doorframe and his long legs were crossed lazily. The seductive pose hiked the white garment provocatively up on his pale hips.

"Hi." Tom said, dipping his head shyly.

"Hi."

Lowering his arms, the pilot walked towards him. As he passed the open balcony the draft lifted the tails of his shirt, treating the older man to a brief glimpse of cream. Chakotay was biting his bottom lip by the time Tom reached the bed.

"I love you, Chakotay, and I want this to be good." Tom said in a hushed voice.

"It will, it will." Chakotay held his arms out to the subdued blond. "Come to bed, Tom."

On his knees, Tom edged forward on the bed and then straddled him. Chakotay let his hands drift to the blond's hips where they peeked out from the sides of his shirt. He squeezed them appreciatively. Moaning at the touch, Tom leaned down and captured his mouth with his lips.

This was yet another kind of kiss. It was passionate yes, like all the others but it also carried an undercurrent of timidity. Tom's lips were taking his gently with soft nips. There was no arrogant tongue thrusting down his throat as there'd been in the bar, only a delicately questing one. Relishing the easy assault, Chakotay slid his palms under the pilot's shirt and up the silky skin of his back. When the pace did accelerate, it was the older man who took the initiative. 

As much as he enjoyed the teasing caresses as Tom's lips strayed from his mouth along his jaw line to nip playfully at his earlobes, the feel of the affectionate blond in his lap was driving him crazy. Through the blanket he could feel the weight of the pilot's balls and, even with the added layer of the cotton shirt, Tom's hardened cock. 

Burning with the need to see and touch the implements of his sweet torture, Chakotay moved his hands back down to Tom's ass and squeezed hard, his fingers digging cruelly into his flesh. The gambit worked. Tom screamed and started biting, not nipping, at his neck. 

Feeding the younger man's frenzy, he continued his rough massage and began to jerk his hips up from the mattress. When Tom pulled back from him to investigate the new movement, his blue eyes bore the wild gleam Chakotay was starting to recognize as the beginning of the shine. It suddenly became very important for him to see that the event that was so soul-shattering for his lover transpired.

"Tell me what you want." he whispered.

"I, I can't." Tom hung his head, avoiding his gaze. "I thought I could, but what if…-"

"I don't like it?" he replied, dipping his head, trying to catch the younger man's eye. "I will, Tom, I *do*. I know my performance these last few days makes that hard to believe but that was all about me, not you." Chakotay used his fingers to bring Tom's face up all the way. "It wasn't easy for me to accept the fact that I enjoy it when the sex gets rough. I was taught that to inflict pain in any capacity was wrong."

"But you're a boxer. The goal when you're in the ring is to hurt your opponent."

"Yes, but that's in a controlled environment. When I've let my darker desires take over, I've felt anything but control."

"There's control here too, Chak. If I tell you to stop, you stop, and if you don't, I'll make you." Tom said earnestly, with a determined set to his chin.

"I know that now." Chakotay said, pleased to see the pilot's confidence returning. "Now tell me what you want, Tom." he finished, with the same amount of determination.

"Spank me and then fuck me so hard I see stars." the younger man growled.

The return of the feral Tom, the real Tom, made his heart sing and his palms itch.

********

"Again!"

Lying prone and naked over Chakotay's lap with his cock firmly wedged between the bigger man's thighs, Tom readied himself for another stinging blow to his bare bottom. When it came, he almost did too. Damn, but the commander was good at this.

With the arm of a natural the older man tanned his hide never hitting too high and risking damage to his tailbone, or hitting him twice in the same place causing bruising. And every once in a while he stopped and cooed how much he loved him while blowing lightly on his tingling butt. During those breaks, Tom would pump slowly between his thighs and rub himself against Chakotay's weeping erection. It heightened the experience for him knowing that he wasn't the only one getting off on it. Tom wiggled his ass in the air to ask for more.

This time, however, he didn't feel the full weight of Chakotay's hand on his raw cheeks, but only one finger making slow concentric circles. The coolness of the digit told Tom it was greased and it was time for stage two. That assumption was confirmed when the swirling finger dipped into his crack and popped into his anus.

"Oh, Poocuh, you're so hot." Chakotay moaned as he slipped another finger in. He continued to moan the new name that had surfaced sometime during their last break, as he finger-fucked Tom without mercy. The jerking motion sent bright waves of pain to the pilot's cerebellum as his burning cheeks shook, and the depth of Chakotay's strokes brought intense pleasure as his nails scraped along Tom's prostate. He was so close to coming he could taste it. Tom started to pump furiously into the warm lap beneath him as his orgasm neared.

"Oh, no, Poocuh, not yet." As Chakotay removed his fingers, Tom cursed him for his perceptiveness. "Yes, I know, my love, it's bad." Chakotay said tenderly before he slapped the younger man's ass. "Now get up!"

Shaking with need, Tom obeyed and crawled onto his elbows and knees. He had no sooner assumed the position than Chakotay was behind and shoving into him. Panting hard and grunting, the older man sunk his dick deeper and deeper until Tom was totally, wonderfully filled.

"Tell me, Poocuh, tell me how." his lover gasped. Although the question was broken by strangled swallows and gulping breaths, Tom understood what the older man wanted.

He screamed out his permission. "Do it, Chakotay, fuck me hard!"

With a shudder the cock in his ass was pulled out almost to the crest and then slammed back in with such force, Tom felt the air expelled from his lungs. More brutal thrusts in quick succession successfully prevented him from catching his breath and as his anoxia increased so did his pleasure.

The constant banging against his tender butt-cheeks and the savage assault of Chakotay's cock on his gland were sending him to new levels of shining ecstasy. When he felt sharp teeth in his shoulder he gave himself over to light, and exploded in orgasm. As he was soaring through flashing rainbows and twinkling stars he heard his lover cry out his release. 

Tom cherished the sound as the fireworks faded and he drifted down into a comforting blackness.

********

"Tom?"

Half asleep, he rolled over in the darkness and molded his body behind Chakotay's.

"Yeah, babe."

"Oh, sugar, I didn't know you cared."

Tom rolled back the other way to see his twin sitting on the edge of the bed. "Josh, what the hell are you doing here!"

"Hush, Thomas, you'll wake your baby."

"What time is it?" He searched for the chrono on the night table but his unwanted visitor blocked his view.

"Late. I need to talk."

"Now? Nooooh." Tom moaned as he threw his forearm over his eyes.

Joshua pried his arm down. "Oh, come on, the professor's dead to the world, what else have you got to do?"

"Sleep. Maybe you've heard of it? It's what sane people do when they're tired."

"Please, Thomas. It's important. It's about Sam."

Sam? Oh, damn it, must be serious if Josh was using diminutives.

"All right."

After shooing his unexpected bedmate out of the way, Tom eased out from under the covers, trying his best not to wake the other. He grabbed the folded blanket at the end of the bed, wrapped it around his nude form, and ushered Josh out on to the balcony. When they emerged, they didn't talk right away but stood quietly admiring the view.

The breathtaking brilliance of the night sky was riveting, but it wasn't what caught Tom's attention. His admiration for the wonder of the Arizona vista leaned more towards the technical than the natural.

Overwhelming the wan lights of the pueblo dwellings were the floodlights that ringed Sunset Crater like a diamond necklace. The crater, which wasn't really an asteroid impact at all but a dormant volcano, was illuminated by radio telescopes that continually scanned the heavens for their own light, of a kind that was beyond Tom's visual spectrum. 

This sparkling array would be able to detect quasars, stellar nurseries too far away to see with the naked eye, and most probably a wormhole as it opened. The matrix of large concave dishes was Voyager's scourge, but Tom still found it beautiful.

"He says he needs a pilot." Josh said beside him, breaking his fascination with the station's technology.

"What?"

"After you two went to bed, Sam took me for a stroll. I expected him to go on and on about what my Starfleet was doing to his people now that we were alone but he didn't. In fact, he didn't say anything for a while. We just walked."

"Chakotay said he was a man of few words."

"Yes, a shame really. He has a rumbling voice that makes you think of hot summer nights and ice-cold beer. It's refreshing in a sultry, sexy kind of way." Joshua's eyes glazed over and he fell silent. 

"So you were walking…-" Tom prodded. The other man blinked and then continued.

"Oh, yes, well, we reached this little fountain with candles and dead flowers around it."

"A shrine."

"Is that what it was? Well, it was nice and there was a stone bench, so we sat down. That's when he started to speak to me."

"Sultry and sexy like?"

"Yes, but he didn't tell me how pretty my eyes were or how hot my ass was, he told me about the stars."

"Oh, of course, he's an astronomer."

"No, Thomas, he's a stargazer. There's a difference." Josh corrected. "And he's a romantic, and a dreamer. Do you know why he went to school? Not to study space but to understand it."

"I don't get it. Isn't that the same thing?"

"No, Thomas, wrong again. The universe is more than a collection of planets and suns to him. It's life. When he looks into the night sky, Sam doesn't only see gaseous planets and super novas. He also sees the star formations his ancestors spun their ancient tales about. For him space is full of battles, triumphs, omens, lessons, and loves lost and won."

This time Tom did get it. He had one just like him at home. Like Chakotay, Dr Griffon, despite the official title society made him wear, remained true to his spiritual beliefs. He fulfilled his expected role but for his own reasons and in his own way.

"So when he asked me to be his pilot, I knew he wasn't talking about sitting in the cockpit of a ship. Not that they even have one here. The closest thing they've got is a interplanetary glider, for heaven's sake." he said, going a little off-topic in his agitation.

"He scared the bejeezus out of you, didn't he?" Oh, yeah, Tom had seen this scene played out before.

"Oooh wee, did he. I tell you, sugar, I've had admirals propose to me and not skipped a beat. And then this mild-mannered nobody asks me one little innocuous question, and my heart stops altogether."

"See, he does like you. So what did you say?"

"Nothing. I kissed him hard right dead on the lips and while he was standing there numb with shock, I high tailed it out of there."

"You ran away? Oh, shit, Josh."

"A mistake?"

"Oh yeah, a big one." Tom said from hard experience.

"So what the hell do I do now? This guy's cuter than a bag full of puppies but he's from the wrong side of the tracks, if you know what I mean."

"Oh, so you took off like a bat out of hell because you're afraid that being with Samuel will damage your career? Give me a break, Josh. What happened was that somebody made you feel with your heart instead of your balls and you didn't know how to deal with it, so you didn't."

"Are you calling me a coward, Thomas Eugene Paris?" His twin's blue eyes narrowed and his shoulders hunched menacingly.

"Yes, I am, Joshua Lafayette Gabriel Paris." Tom growled back.

"Oh." The shoulders softened. "Just checking. So, cousin, now what do I do? Use the old Paris charm?"

"Nope, you'll need to use something we Paris men aren't so good with."

"And that would be?"

"Honesty."

********

"He's very pretty."

"Pretty, heh," Chakotay chuckled. "I've thought of Tom a lot of ways, but pretty?"

He looked over to the table where his lover, wearing Chakotay's new favorite white shirt hanging out from a pair of smuggled jeans, was eating breakfast with his twin. Actually with his perfectly coiffed hair, manicured hands, and spotless uniform, Joshua was really the 'prettier' of the two.

"And very pale, Chakotay." Samuel said slowly except for his name. That, he pronounced in the old Navajo dialect with three fast staccatos.

"Tom does not have the same native history as we, if that's what you mean." He began to feel uneasy. Racial prejudice was something he would not have ascribed to the doctor. 

They had been sitting side by side at their own table on the patio behind the adobe but now Samuel turned his chair to face him. "It is. Has that been a problem?" There was a hint of a tremor in his normally solid voice. Chakotay heard the slight waver and understood.

Samuel was not criticizing his relationship with Tom but questioning the viability of one with Joshua. This morning, after they taken their passions out on one another, Tom had told Chakotay of his conversation with his twin the previous night. It made it easier to talk to the chieftain now that he knew Samuel had the same needs as everyone else.

"No, we've had our problems but our cultural backgrounds haven't been among them. It's been a non-issue between us. Tom could be a Bolian or a Klingon and I would still love him."

"Of course." Samuel bowed his head briefly. "My apologies, Chakotay, I meant no offense. I'm afraid I am unused to speaking of such things."

"And of thinking of them, I would imagine. I spent seven years worrying about the needs of the people I'm responsible for and ignoring my own. So I know where you're coming from."

The doctor considered his words thoughtfully. "On Voyager, yes. Wait-," An expression of surprise disrupted his normally ordered features. "You knew that beauty for seven years and did not pursue him?"

Chakotay smiled. "Like I said, I was distracted. Which is not to say I didn't notice Tom Paris, I did, every day. However my position prevented me from considering him as a life mate. I thought it would be detrimental to our mission to get home, you see. It wasn't until he came out of a fairly long relationship with one of my best friends that I realized what I had been denying myself."

"You got a second chance and did not wish to waste it."

"Something like that." Chakotay tipped his head towards the two blonds who were now bickering over the last piece of peanut butter toast. "Are you going to waste yours?"

"I have approached him." Samuel said tightly. It was obvious he was not happy with the result.

"Yes, I heard." Samuel's eyebrows rose at that. "Can I let you in on a little secret? Patience. The Paris men don't do well with the direct approach. They're like frightened colts and they bolt when confronted with something serious like commitment."

"Did Tom bolt?"

"Yes, and went back to his old girlfriend."

"Your friend?"

Chakotay nodded, tight-lipped. "They have a daughter now."

"So you are a father. That is good, Chakotay."

"No, you don't understand, the baby belongs to Tom and B'Elanna, not to me."

"You do not accept the progeny of the man you love? That goes against custom Chakotay. His children are your children." Samuel chastened him so like his grandfather that if he closed his eyes the two would be one and the same. And, like the old man, he gave sage advice.

"I will consider your words carefully, chieftain." he said with respect, giving the traditional response.

"And I yours, Commander." the doctor offered in kind as he dropped his head briefly. "Now to your problem. I have given it careful consideration and I believe I can help you."

"Without risk to yourself?"

"There is a negligible amount, yes." His regal face was split by an easy smile. "But I'm willing to take a chance on that as well." 

Bringing out an electronic padd from his vest pocket, the doctor began to outline his plan.

"This is the facility's computer maintenance schedule." He handed the slim instrument to Chakotay. "As you can see the system goes down automatically for diagnostics for one hour once a week."

"And during that time you stop the transmission of data to Starfleet, right?"

"Correct, Chakotay. However there are twenty-three other tracking arrays like ours on the planet to pick up the slack, so they suffer no real loss of information. Starfleet still has it eyes in the skies."

"Uh-huh, and I assume these other stations have required down time as well?"

"Yes. We operate on a rotating schedule so there's only one of us out at any given time."

"And if they all, by accident maybe, went into diagnostic mode at the same time?"

Samuel smiled broadly and finished his thought. "Starfleet would be blind."

********

"Go."

They were huddled just outside the administrator's office where Samuel had been hacking away at his computer all afternoon. Josh rolled back against the doorframe.

"Now? He looks kind of busy."

"Oh, well, in that case why don't we come back tomorrow, or next week, or better yet," Tom started off amicably. "How's about never?" he finished sarcastically.

"OK, OK, I get the point. There's no need to be rude."

"Fine, I'm sorry, but it's time to live up to your name."

"What, we're back to the Paris charm again?"

"No, not your last name, your middle one, Lafayette. Wasn't he a pirate or something?"

"You're thinking of that rogue Jean Lafitte. My Lafayette was a Marquis and served as a general during the American Revolution," Josh stated as he predictably went off topic in his nervousness. "We're direct descendants on our mother's side, Thomas." he added with pride.

Tom rolled his eyes. "OK, so he wasn't a pirate." Too bad, he kind of liked the idea of having a swashbuckler as one of his ancestors instead of yet another military officer. "How's about for the sake of fun we pretend he was. Now get in there and claim your booty." he said with enthusiasm.

"Booty?" Josh asked, stalling for time.

"Don't make me get rude again, Josh. Just go."

His twin squared his shoulders and took a deep breath. "Claim my booty, right."

"That's right, you go, cousin. Get that booty." Tom slapped his back for good luck as Joshua finally entered the office.

*******

It was only three metres but it seemed like three miles.

Slowly watching his footsteps, Joshua walked towards the man at the computer terminal. When he reached his destination he looked down timidly through his lashes. He had never been shy in situations such as these but suddenly he didn't know where to put his hands or what to say first. Fortunately for him the doctor noticed his approach and saved him from deciding.

"Did Tom set you free?" Samuel wheeled his chair back from his desk and folded his arms lazily over his hard packed stomach.

Joshua bristled. "Tom?" It bothered him a little that the first sentence out of that full sensuous mouth had to do with his double. 

"Yes, I thought you were supposed to be discussing alternate flight plans for Voyager with the lieutenant this afternoon."

"No. I, I mean yes." Using every self-relaxation technique he had ever read or heard about, he loosened his backbone, nonchalantly lifted his butt and perched himself on the edge of the doctor's desk. Nothing that was supposed to be so easy was should be so hard. 

"We did talk about what would happen if your plan didn't work but mostly we talked about other stuff." he said, not really thinking about what he was saying but talking for the sake of it alone. It took all of his other higher brain functions just to keep from sliding off the desk into a puddle of mush on the floor.

"Other stuff?" Sam asked with raised eyebrows.

Oh, dear god, the man looked genuinely interested. Now what was he supposed to say? Tom had urged honesty but that was easier said than done. Nobody he'd been with these last few years truly wanted to hear what spun through his head as long as they got some. As a result, Joshua wasn't used to saying what was really on his mind. Normally he spewed a lot of bullshit that meant nothing but was good enough to get his partner off. However, Doctor Samuel Griffon was not what he classed as normal or ordinary or even as routine. Oh lord in heaven, for him this dark sullen man was barely corporeal. Talking to Samuel was like talking to an angel. He could try to lie but in the end, the truth would come out. Joshua, at a loss for words for the first time in his adult life, said the first thing that came to mind.

"I want you to like me!" he blurted out.

A slow smile graced the doctor's face. "I do like you, Joshua Lafayette." He rolled his chair between Joshua's parted legs and placed his big hands on his thighs. "I like you a lot."

"No, I mean I want you to really like me. Not for my body or what I can do for you but for just me, plain old Josh." he added, using the diminutive Thomas often used. For once convention wasn't important. He wanted this relationship to happen and if it did, it had to be grass-roots and free from formality.

"Are you asking me to love you?"

"Love?"

"Yes, my pretty protocol officer. I could do that if you let me. I like you and yes oh yes I'm attracted to you. I don't want to go to bed tonight without you. So I suppose it wouldn't take much for me to love you even if I know you're a Fleeter."

"I'm more than my rank or my position." Joshua replied, terrified that for once in his life what he was and what he had strived to be since he'd entered the initiative program at Starfleet was a mistake. He had never doubted his choice until now, when his rank didn't matter.

"I know, my Poocuh."

"Poocuh? What does that mean?"

"It's an old word. Only a few of us still use it." 

The man between his knees rose and ran his hands up over Joshua's chest until his fingertips framed the lieutenant's face tenderly. "Mostly within my family," he said, whispering softly. "My grandfather used it and my father and now I am. It means beloved."

His first impulse was to run, his second was to keep running, but when he looked into those impossibly rich brown eyes again, his legs refused to move. It seemed his tibias and femurs knew the score and accepted this outpouring of emotion even if his cranium didn't want to. No, that wasn't right. He wanted this. He just didn't know what to do about it. Unable to move, he felt like a wet behind the ears novice in Samuel's light embrace.

"Can I kiss you Joshua Lafayette?" the older man asked quietly and with reverence, as he carded his fingers through the short hair at Joshua's nape into the fringe of blond curls that crested above his ears.

"Yes." he replied breathlessly, surprised he could speak at all. The gentle caress was playing havoc with his normally controlled and scripted responses, leaving him at a loss as to how to react. He bit the inside of his cheek so he'd know he was awake and closed his eyes so he could pretend he was in case he wasn't. 

In desperate anticipation he waited for those luscious lips to touch his. When they did, it didn't matter. Starfleet meant nothing, nor did the Federation. Wherever he was, dreaming or awake, it was good. It was right.

And it was at long last where he, Joshua Lafayette, was supposed to be.

********

"What are you doing?" somebody whispered in his ear.

Tom jumped and then spun to see a smiling first officer. "Shit, Chak. Give a guy a heart attack, why don't you?"

"Sorry, Poocuh." he said, still smiling and giving Tom the distinct impression he wasn't sorry at all, not one bit. 

"I'm doing my part in the name of destiny." he said gravely answering his lover's question and hoping to wipe the shit-eating grin off his face. Besides, matchmaking was serious business, especially when it came to those two.

Chakotay rested his chin on his shoulder and peered around the door jamb. "By getting those two together?" He pulled back, still grinning. "Tom, aren't you afraid of messing up the timeline and in the process negating your own existence? What if Joshua is your distant grandfather? Pairing him up with a man makes it pretty hard for him to be your patriarch."

Tom tugged Mr Happy away from the door so they could speak without being overheard.

"No. If he were, I would have heard his name from my father during one of his routine rants about our family tree." Tom shrugged. "Josh's probably my great, great, great, great uncle or something."

"Granted." Chakotay cocked his head to the side. "So what's all this about destiny?"

"They're fated to be together, Chak."

"Oh, now we've pulled fate into this." the older man said, with a playful twinkle in his eye.

"Yessss. Oh come on, Chak, be serious. I believe with all my heart that Samuel and Josh will fall in love just like we did. I'm just trying to help them avoid the pitfalls we encountered before finally getting together." Tom took a deep breath before continuing. "I, I don't want Josh to feel the pain I did when I thought you hated me." He was reliving the hurt he had felt for months in the short time it took to say those few words.

Seeing his distress, the commander sobered up. He pulled him into his arms and whispered, "Oh, Poocuh, I never really hated you and if I've read Samuel right, and I'm sure I have, he could never hate Joshua either. You're both too easy to love."

"Really, babe?" Tom said, blinking back tears he hadn't been aware were so close.

"Yes, Poocuh, really." Chakotay wiped away an errant tear from his cheek and smiled, only this time it was affectionate and not mocking. "The only hard part about loving you is not being with you."

"So do you believe they should be together?"

"If you say so, my love." Chakotay pressed his face against his wet cheek and breathed, "fate and destiny willing, forever."

*******

"You'll have approximately fifteen minutes before they know something's wrong and the systems will start coming back up." Samuel looked pointedly at him. "Will that be enough time, Chakotay?"

They were back in the adobe's spacious living room before the man-sized fireplace, planning their escape. With Joshua sitting close beside him on the lounge, Samuel had explained how he had rigged Sunset Crater's computer to cause a cascade and initiate a planet-wide diagnostic. The only problem was that, although the program was automatic, it would not go unnoticed, and the staff of the twenty-three stations would immediately try to set the situation to rights upon detecting the problem.

"It will have to be." Chakotay replied somberly pulling his own blond closer to him for reassurance on the large pillows in front of the fire.

"That's less than an hour away. Will Voyager be ready?" Joshua asked from the doctor's lap.

"Yes, I contacted the ship earlier. She's good to go."

"Chakotay, you do realize my program won't affect the communications network on Mars. The colony is still independent, which means their systems are not as sophisticated or coordinated as Earth's, but even so, a wormhole opening is hard to miss."

"Do they have ships with warp capabilities?" he asked.

If they were quick enough and lucky enough, maybe they could fire the gravimetric torpedo and be through the aperture before someone caught up to them. There was also the problem of one of the Martian ships following Voyager through the wormhole, but he didn't want to think about that right now. One time-altering situation at a time.

"A few," Joshua interjected, giving them the benefit of the inside information his prestigious position in the Fleet afforded him. "Mostly freighters and some pleasure craft but nothing than can go faster than warp two or three. But still, you'll have to do some fancy flying if you don't want them to catch you."

"No problem, cuz. I told you I'm a pilot. What I didn't tell you was that I'm hell on wheels. We'll make it." Tom told his twin with a kick-ass grin and a wink.

Joshua gave him a dubious glance. It was apparent he was not totally convinced of Tom's prowess at the helm. "I hope so, sugar, because charm ain't gonna be enough this time around. Plasma weapons don't respond real well to sweet tal