KIAN

by Cheryl Forbes

Email Address for feedback: forbesc@skyia.com

Disclaimer: Voyager and her crew belong to Paramount and not me. Whatever.

Summary: Tom meets Juliet and falls in love with Romeo.

"Potassium Iodide?"

"Yes it's the main ingredient in hyronalin."

With patience worthy of a commendation, Captain Kathryn Janeway ignored the annoyance in the Holo Doc's voice.

"I know what it is Doctor. It's the serum used for radiation exposure." She looked across the conference table at the viewscreen opposite her. "What I want to know is why you called me and my officers here to talk about it."

"Because of the third planet in this system. It has large deposits of naturally occurring potassium iodide." With excitement he rushed on. "Don't you see Captain? That never happens!"

Commander Chakotay turned his chair to the EMH. "Forgive me Doctor for missing Chemistry 101 at the Academy, but 'I' don't see."

The Doctor straightened his shoulders and cleared his voice, as if preparing for a lecture.

"Potassium iodide is two separate crystalline elements that are combined together by artificial means for usage against harmful radio isotopes. In nature they are very rarely found in the same environment let alone in the same deposit but somehow on this planet they do." The exhilaration returned to his voice. "It's chemical mystery that demands to be investigated!"


"Demands?" She placed her hands flat against the tabletop. "I'll admit Doctor that it is interesting but we don't have the time to stop for research now. In a little more than five days we have a scheduled meeting to attend in the next system that I have no intention of being late for. I'm sorry but negotiating safe passage for Voyager takes precedence."

She was going to dismiss the meeting, but the EMH wouldn't take no for answer.

"I thought we were suppose to be explorers here!" He moved closer to the screen increasing the size of his head in the projection. "And with the way you people have a knack for finding dangerous situations, this new element could become vital to the crew. You never know."

Oh that was hitting below the belt. By mentioning the safety of her crew, he'd hit her soft spot and Kathryn found she couldn't dismiss the issue out of hand. 

It wouldn't do for her people to become affected by some alien radiation that conventional means couldn't cure. Not wanting this to be another situation she'd regret later, she tried to think of a way of conceding to the doctor's request and still make the conference.

"Mr Kim tell me about the planet."

Looking like he was standing at attention while still sitting in his chair, the ensign referred to the PADD in his hand.

"According to my scans Captain, the planet is marginally M class. It's bombarded by abnormal amounts of ionizing radiation both cosmically by its sun and terrestrially by its core."

"Does life survive there?" She queried.

"Yes there is animal as well as humanoid inhabitants. Their technology level is at par with late 18th century earth."

Damn there were natives. The Prime Directive forbade contact with any indigenous species that didn't have warp speed capacity.

"Will the radiation prevent us from beaming up a sample Mr Kim?"

The doctor interjected before the ensign could answer.

"You can't use the transporters Captain, it may effect the molecular integrity of the mineral. I'll have to go down there and collect a sample personally."

"Out of the question Doctor we need you here."

"Fine then send someone else but please Captain, don't beam it aboard."

Acknowledging that she had already acquiesced to this mission, she considered her options. They didn't have time to send team down to the planet, wait for them to find a deposit, harvest it and make the meeting. They could however send the Delta Flyer down and rendezvous with it later. As if reading her mind, Lieutenant Paris spoke.

"I could go in the Flyer Captain and then follow you when I'm done. No problem." He sat back in chair smiling.

She smiled and knew that anything would be no problem for Tom if it meant getting back into the cockpit of his precious Flyer.

"Fine but we'll come back for you. This planet may not have warp technology but others in this system do and I won't have you out there alone and unprotected."

Tom hid his disappointment fairly well but not well enough for her not to notice it. Sailing through unknown space would have thrilled him but it would have made her nervous. Kathryn couldn't risk losing another shuttlecraft let alone a chief pilot.

"I volunteer as well Captain."

"Chakotay?"

Her stoic and normally "Tom" allergic first officer compelled her attention.

"Voyager will be gone for approximately two weeks and the Lieutenant shouldn't be left alone for that long."

"Afraid I might get into trouble Commander?" 

Kathryn saw the smirk that accompanied the blond's comment and knew he wasn't really offended by Chakotay. As usual, he was just baiting the commander and as usual the first officer took the bait.

"That's not what I meant Lieutenant." He leaned forward to look the mischievous pilot in the eye. "I meant it wouldn't be safe for 'anyone' to be left alone on an unfamiliar planet. What if you were injured?"

"So you want to be there to take care of me just in case?" 

Kathryn saw he wasn't even trying now to hide his amusement and when she looked at the commander struggling for a rejoinder, she found it hard not to smile herself. Saving him further embarrassment she put an end to the exchange.

"Then it's settled." She rose from her chair at the head of the table. "Be ready to leave within the hour."

Before the room emptied the EMH added, "I'll want to see you both in Sickbay before you leave for hyronalin inoculations. The natives may be able to survive the planet's radiation level but you won't."

The captain watched her officers leave the conference room and she thought about the truth in the EMH's comment about their knack for finding danger. Voyager did have a special talent for attracting trouble but difficulties were inevitable sometimes when traveling through uncharted space. 

Kathryn just hoped that this wouldn't be one of those times.

********

What the hell was he doing here?

Chakotay moved down the grassy slope to the overgrown ruins at its base. Small brown furry mammals disturbed by his footfalls, scattered before him making waves in the tall sedge. Finding a low moss covered wall, he made himself comfortable.

It wasn't that he regretted his decision to volunteer. He found the flora and fauna, so like Earth's North American deserts, fascinating and the ruins appealed to his love of archeology. What he didn't understand were his motives for being here in the first place. Well that wasn't totally true; he did have some inkling.

He was here because Tom was and he had been unable to resist the thought of spending two weeks alone with the dazzling blond pilot. 

It was foolish and it was folly. He knew years ago that the Tom didn't return his feelings, the Jonas incident had shown him that. Tom had deceived him with ease and betrayed his trust. It didn't matter that it was for the good of the ship. If their positions had been reversed, Chakotay would have been unable to follow through with the plan because his love for the pilot would have made hurting him inconceivable. Unfortunately Tom didn't have the same compunction and thus had shown the commander his feelings were one sided. It had been a hard realization but he'd gotten over it by shoving his desire to a dark recess in his heart and avoiding the pilot whenever possible. 

So what the hell was he doing now? Nothing in these last years had shown him that Tom's feelings had changed. The lieutenant pursued many relationships, B'Elanna being his latest, but he had never showed an interest in him. Did he think two weeks alone could change all that? And if it could, could he or Tom be able to betray B'Elanna that way?

Shelving his dilemma for the time being, the commander brought out the Doc's holographic camera to get some candid shots of the vine covered stone arches that populated the area.

********

Where the fuck was Chakotay?

Tom threw the spade across the span of the arroyos and sat at the edge of the meter deep pit he spent the last two hours digging.

Because of the Prime fucking Directive they were unable to set down by any above ground deposits of potassium iodide. The crystal flourished along side water holes but unfortunately so did the natives of this world. So that left them to harvesting the element from an underground watershed at the base of a mountain range.

Tom watched as small lizard like creatures sunned themselves on the rocks in the dry creek bed. Maybe radiated was a better word. It wasn't overly warm here but the radio-ionic environment did mimic the conditions of a rocky desert.

Water was scarce and the vegetation was mainly cactus like succulents and thorny bushes designed to make the most of the harsh habitat. In the few days they'd been here he'd seen sheep like animals designed to cope with the uneven terrain and at night he heard the cries of predators that fed on them.

Heaving himself up from the edge of the hole, Tom retrieved a small device from the pocket of his trousers. He pressed a button and dissolved the holo front of the cave where the Flyer rested. It was his third break in less than an hour but he didn't care. It wasn't like the commander was here to stop him. No the commander had detected something 'old' over the next rise and had abandoned him two hours ago. He retrieved a water bottle from the shuttle, reactivated the screen and flopped down in the dried grasses near the cave entrance.

What the hell was the first officer doing anyway? Tom knew he was OK because the commander commed him every half-hour but was so fucking great about a bunch of rocks anyway. Was he that boring that Chakotay found a pile of inanimate objects more interesting? 

So much for getting to know the guy better. Tom was a people person and at some level he was able to make a connection of some kind with everyone on Voyager. The commander had been the only exception and he'd hoped this trip would remedy that. He flipped the top of the water bottle and took a sip.

The commander's emotional distance had plagued him for years. It had started with Jonas and if he knew then what he knew now, he would have never agreed to the captain's plan. Tom still remembered the look of hurt in Chakotay's eyes when he realized he'd been duped. No amount of explanation had been able to remove that pain and to this day Tom still saw traces of it. 

He done everything from teasing the commander to just plain old pissing him off to get his attention but the man still avoided him. Hell he even approached B'Elanna looking for insights on the first officer and a possible way to resolve the animosity between them. It had been while questioning the engineer he had been unwittingly been drawn into a turbulent relationship with her that she now resisted his efforts to end.

It might have been worth it if he'd found a way to become Chakotay's friend through her but she guarded her association with the commander closely and refused to share it with him. Fuck! 

So here he was in an alien prairie running from one person and chasing another.

Man it sucked to be him.

********

Chakotay slowly pulled his phaser from the loop in his belt and followed the line of the rough-hewn wall.

He'd been taking pictures of the wildflowers growing between the cracks in the ancient plaza when he heard the sound. Using his tri-corder he'd scanned the area but the resident radiation had skewed the readings telling him only that whatever it was, it was big and that there were two of them.

Reaching the end of the wall, the commander crouched low and made his body flush with the fortification. Taking a few deep breaths he quickly turned the corner with his with arm outstretched and his phaser ready.

"No!" A high pitched voice wailed.

Chakotay quickly pulled his arm up, using his other hand to steady it.

"Please we have nothing left but our lives!"

Sheltering another form behind her was a terrified young woman. Her hair was chestnut and her complexion was a dusky shade similar to his. The commander holstered his weapon and extended his arms with his palms facing skyward.

"I promise I won't hurt you."

"You're not a Roke?"

Thankful of the universal translator, the commander tried to soothe her with his voice.

"No. My name is Chakotay. What's yours?"

She stood but didn't answer him right away. Starting at his boots, she let her eyes linger up his frame, over his uniform and back to his face. She studied it a few moments before answering him. This time her words were quiet and controlled.

"No you're not a Roke. My name is Kian." She turned and lowered herself to her knees to the man propped up on the wall behind her. "And this is Rad." Her fingers brushed the unconscious man's face.

Chakotay squatted beside Kian and checked Rad's wrist for a pulse. He found a weak one but not knowing this species' physiology, he didn't know if that was normal but using Kian as a visual marker he guessed it wasn't. Rad was paler and more delicate than Kian. He also lacked her long dark mane and was completely bald.

"Can you help him?" Dark orbs ringed with tears stared at the commander causing his heart to tighten.

Could he? The Star Fleet's General Order Number One said no. The rules stated he was unable to make full disclosure of his identity or interfere with a planet's social development. They were good rules and he believed in them but could helping one man change the evolution of an entire world? A small dark hand placed itself in his and he came to a decision. 

"I'll try."

********

"Are you out of your fucking mind?!"

"Lower your voice and remember who's in charge here." Chakotay pulled him behind a large boulder out of earshot of their visitors.

"OK. Are you out of your fucking mind 'Commander'?"

"No he needs medical aid and you, Lieutenant, are going to give it to him."

Tom had almost freaked when he saw Chakotay returning with the two natives. It was about all he could do to move the scanners and tri-corders out of sight before their primitive visitors saw them. He been quite proud of his efforts and couldn't believe that Chakotay wanted him to pull them all back out to heal the wounded young man.

"What about a little thing called the Prime Directive?"

Great I finally got his attention Tom thought with chagrin as the commander stood toe to toe with him. He felt Chakotay's breath on his face as he spoke.

"What about a little thing called compassion. Helping this man isn't going to start any wars or revolutions." Tom felt the commander's hands grasp his biceps. "But it will make one frightened young woman very happy."

With the commander all in his face, Tom was having hard time coming up with a rebuttal, so he gave in.

"OK I'll scan him and if he's not too damaged, I'll heal him." Trying to regain some of his personal space Tom pressed his chest forward but Chakotay didn't budge or let go of his arms. "You'll have to distract the girl while I do it so she doesn't see the med-kit."

"Done." 

Chakotay smiled and Tom watched in fascination as dimples formed on the lower part of the commander's cheeks. Funny, he'd never noticed them before. Chakotay's gentle voice interrupted his examination. He looked up into black irises ringed in ebony.

"We should go now Tom."

"Yeah."

Chakotay still held his biceps keeping his face near enough for Tom to kiss. Kiss? Now where the hell did that come from? Startled by his own thoughts, Tom brought his hands up flat with Chakotay's chest and pushed. The commander released him and stumbled back.

Feeling like an idiot, Tom brushed past the first officer to retrieve his med-kit from the bushes.

*******

Foolishness and folly.

His own words came back to haunt him as he watched Tom make Kian comfortable by the fire with Rad's sleeping head in her lap. With effort he tore his eyes from the blond's lithe form to stare at the stars.

Spirits, if Tom hadn't pushed him back when he did, Chakotay would have taken that sweet mouth with his and kissed it. He wasn't sure what it been that made him forget himself. Maybe it was holding the elusive pilot in his arms for the first time or maybe it was the look of wonder on Tom's face. Well whatever it was he'd have to be extra careful not to let it effect him again in the future. He didn't relish the thought of being court-martialed on sexual harassment charges. Chakotay did a mental shake and focused his mind on their current situation.

The lieutenant had been true to his word. He'd healed Rad's brain injury and in the process had found something interesting. Rad was dying of radiation exposure.

The young man's thyroid was so weakened it was unable to absorb the ionizing radiation that caused cell mutations. Tom had detected nascent malignancies in most of his major organs and predicted he wouldn't live another five years without treatment. The interesting part was that Tom had also scanned Kian finding that she had minimal damage to her thyroid and was free from any cancers.

How could two people from the same species have such different reactions to their world's environment? The only answer Chakotay could come with was the one of them was not from this world but which one? 

Kian's tolerance to the effects of the resident radiation could be due to years of generational adaptation and Rad's failure to do so could be because he was alien to this planet. Then again like he and Tom, Kian could be inoculated and it could be normal for the aboriginal peoples of this world to die young. 

As the Doc would say it was a chemical mystery and it was one that needed solving. If there was someone else on this planet with the similar warp and more importantly, weapon technology as they, he wanted to know who they were and what they were up to. His own feeling aside, Chakotay had given Captain Janeway his word he would keep the pilot safe and that's what he intended to do. 

Tom finished tucking blankets around their guests and the commander allowed himself to watch the play of the man's muscles under his uniform as the pilot left the campsite. As he watched the retreating form, desire, love and resolve hit him like a sledgehammer. 

Chakotay would never let some alien with a hidden agenda take his Tom away from him. He'd die first.

********

Life sucked.


After settling Kian and Rad by the fire, he'd slipped back to the Flyer to retrieve two survival tent kits and was now in the process of erecting them a few meters from the campsite. He had one up already and was inside it unfurling the blankets for bedding.

It was obvious to him that Kian cared for Rad deeply. The shitty thing was that she was in love with a dead man. OK he wasn't dead yet but in few years he would be and she'd be left alone. She wouldn't even have the solace of a child for remembrance because Tom's scans showed Rad was sterile and had probably had been from the onset of puberty.

After making the bed to his satisfaction he pressed a button on the floor of the tent activating a long cylindrical pillow. He backed out of the shelter to start on the other one.

When he emerged, he looked over at the group around the fire. Tears came to his eyes as he saw Kian smoothing her fingers over Rad's baldpate and singing softly to him as he slept. He cut away to the commander who sat silently on the other side of the campfire watching them and Tom features hardened. He didn't seem touched by the couple's love. The bastard was probably busy trying to figure out which one of them had the ray gun.

In his frustration Tom hit the release of the second tent with his boot spilling canvas and cotton over the desert floor in a bloom. He picked the tent out from the jumble and began erecting it all the while mentally kicking himself in the backside.

Two hours ago he had wanted to kiss Chakotay. Correction two hours ago he didn't know what he wanted. It had been while he was treating Rad that he'd come to the conclusion that his new found fascination with the commander's face was a sign of sexual attraction. He'd almost dropped the hypospray when he felt his groin harden at the thought of placing his mouth on Chakotay's.

When he was done treating the young man, he'd run at warp speed to the ruins where Chakotay had taken Kian hoping to see that smile again. That's when reality reared her ugly head.

After scanning Kian covertly as she left to see Rad, he told Chakotay about the young man's cancers and of Kian's immunity to them. As he watched the commander digest the information, arousal burned in his veins. That's when Chakotay dropped the ball.

The first officer starting spouting theories about alien invaders or some such thing and completely missed the point. Kian was going to live and Rad was going to die. Didn't that fucking matter to him? Couldn't he feel that in his heart or was it cold as the rest of him? Tom had left the ruins in a silent fury.

The lieutenant tossed the blankets into the tent and then followed them in. It would be warm in here. The thermal blankets along with the coated skin of the tent would protect him and Chakotay from the biting cold that arrived on this planet after dark.

Activating the pillow, Tom lay back against it and cursed the Prime Directive once again. Because of it he'd have to spend the night here with the commander instead of in his single bunk on the Flyer. As angry as he was, his cock still twitched in anticipation of lying next to Chakotay. A sardonic laugh escaped his lips. 

Man oh man, his life was fucked on so many levels it wasn't funny. He had sex with a woman that he didn't want to be with but wanted him so he could be with a man. Now he wanted to have sex with that same man who wasn't capable of wanting him and he didn't want to be with. His head spun and he tried to break it down further.

B'Elanna wanted him but he didn't want her. He wanted Chakotay but Chakotay couldn't want him, which was OK because he didn't really want him to. Oh shit. He stifled another laugh. That was about as clear as tomato soup. Tom banged his head against the pillow in frustration a few times before giving up and leaving the tent. He was right the first time.

Life really did suck.

********

"Tom's a funny name for a healer."

"You think that's funny? My middle name is Eugene."

Kian watched the curious man through the flames of the fire as he laughed. He was abnormally tall, well so was the other one but at least Chakotay looked like one of her people. This Tom however was colour of light. Even his eyes, as kind as they were, differed. They were as blue as the sky on a clear morning.

"Who are the Roke?"

It was Chakotay speaking. He seemed to be the one with authority here and she wasn't surprised. In her tribe, a man with such size and presence would be chief. Kian bowed to his power and answered him with respect.

"The Roke are the exiles of my people the Mepae. They travel in bands and survive by attacking travelers."

"You exile your own kind?" 

"For crimes against our community, yes." With conviction she continued. "We are not a cruel people, Chakotay. Banishment is considered a last resort and if a Roke comes to us from the desert, he is given nourishment for both his spirit and his body."

"And he is sent on his way again."

"Yes."

"And it was one of these bands that attacked you and Rad." It was a statement of fact not a question. "Were you part of group?"

"No we were alone and I know it was dangerous but it was necessary."

"Why? Where were you going?"

She didn't have to tell him the truth. Kian suspected that Chakotay would accept whatever tale she chose to tell. However after the kindness both he and Tom had shown, she was loath to repay him with lies. 

She leaned down and kissed Rad's smooth forehead before telling her story.

********

"I know Rad's dying."

Her admission surprised Chakotay. Kian stroked the man in her arms cheek and spoke softly.

"All of his people are. They live in the mountains in the north and are called the Anu. Old tales say that many years ago they were of our tribe but became dissatisfied with our laws and religion and created their own community among the peaks."

"Why are they dying?"

"My father says it's because they have turned away from the light and are being punished by the spirits."

"Punished how?" This time it was the healer asking the question. Kian gazed into his blue eyes.

"The Anu have half our life spans and children are a rarity. They have only their books and machines to worship and are denied Ki."

"Ki?"

"Yes it doesn't grow in the mountains and when they come to our villages for trade, our priests refuse share the sacred rock with them."

Kian caught the look that passed between the two men across from her. Grasping the leather thong from around her neck, she pulled her talisman out from its place beneath her tunic. She held up the yellow crystal with indigo striations to a pair of startled eyes.

"Ki. It permeates all aspects of our lives. Food is seasoned with its powder and our priests use it for rituals and healing. Do they not have it where you come from?"

Thomas Eugene cocked a golden eyebrow at Chakotay who frowned at him in answer. Kian was trying to figure out the odd relationship between the two when Chakotay spoke.

"We have something similar in our tribe but it's available to all. Do the Roke have access to Ki?"

"Yes from the priests when they visit and from small deposits scattered across the wastelands. The Roke use it for their food but not for ritual. They trade their excess to the few Anu who practice our religion in secret."

"Anu like Rad?"

"No Rad is what he calls a scientist like his father." Kian touched her love's lips tenderly with the tips of her fingers. "He came to our community with a trading party two weeks ago asking to speak with my father."

"Your father is a priest isn't he?" Blue eyes flashed. "Rad or his father figured out that the Anu needed the medicinal properties the Ki offered and wanted a sample to analyze."

Kian was dumfounded at his vision. What mystical place produced a healer like Tom and a chieftain like Chakotay? The ancient texts that lined the walls of her father's tent made no mentioned of any other tribes other than the Mepae and the Anu. They weren't spirits, they were of flesh and blood like her but maybe the spirits had sent them to help her. It was a crazy thought but Kian saw no other explanation. 

"Kian are you all right?" She nodded to Chakotay and found her voice.

"My father granted Rad an audience but rejected his theory and refused him the Ki."

Understanding shone from the healer's eyes. "But you were there too and you believed him." 

"Yes and I had many questions. Rad stayed after his group left to explain it all to me and together we tried to convince my father. We were unsuccessful."

"Is that when he asked you to leave with him?"

"No that was when I offered him my talisman for his research but he wouldn't take it." She lowered her eyelashes. "So I made him another offer."

"You offered him your heart." Tom said the words so quietly she almost didn't hear them.

"Yes and he offered me his. We left during the night taking supplies and two of my father's horses. On foot the journey would take five days but with the animals it would only be two or three before we reached the mountain city."

"How long had you been gone when the Roke attacked you?" Kian had no trouble hearing the chieftain's firm voice.

"A day. Rad fought them and was injured. We took refuge in the ruins and that's when he collapsed. You found us a few hours later."

It felt good telling someone her story but it was also tiring. Her head started to droop and her eyes became heavy. She was almost asleep where she sat when she was startled awake by a clap of hands.

"OK Bedtime!"

"Tom I think we should talk about what to do."

"Fine Chakotay, you can sit here and talk but the rest of us are going to sleep."

The healer crossed to her side of the fire and lifted Rad from her arms. As Kian followed Tom to one of the tents near by, she wondered again about the hierarchy of his clan. The only one in her tribe that spoke to her chief that way was his wife. Kian remembered the silent exchanges they shared and understanding hit her foggy brain. Now things made a little more sense.

Tom and Chakotay were mated.

********

One and a half meters.

Tom stood outside of the tent with his arms outstretched measuring its width. Chakotay was already inside taking up his half of the space. Would he be still wearing his uniform or will he have stripped down to his skivvies? Tom hoped and dreaded the latter.

"Are you coming in here or not?"

Oh fuck the commander knew he was standing out here like an idiot. The pilot covered his embarrassment with sarcasm.

"Why do you want me to come?" The answering silence told Tom that Chakotay had caught the double entendre.

Feeling as nervous as a Bajoran in a room full of Cardassians, Tom bent forward and entered the tent. The light from the fire outside illuminated the interior subtly and he was able to see.

Chakotay lay on his stomach, sans uniform, with his head resting in arms like a nest. His face was turned towards the wall of the tent so Tom was unable to see his eyes but he could see the rest of him quite well. 

Thanks to the technology of the day, the thermal blankets were thin and molded themselves nicely to the commander's broad back and firm ass. Tom averted his eyes before he became too aroused and began to remove his uniform. When he got down to his boxers, he climbed under the covers to lie on his back beside Chakotay.

Tom stared at the roof of the tent and wrapped his arms tightly around his torso to prevent his hands from finding his pulsing erection. Chakotay shifted, moving the blankets across his cock creating a sweet friction. A moan escaped his lips before he could stop it.

"Tom?"

Please don't look, please don't look Tom chanted to himself knowing that his erection would be clearly defined by the covers.

"What?" He said in a whisper.

The commander moved again and Tom knew without looking that Chakotay was now on his side regarding him. He kept his gaze straight ahead and waited for the first officer to do something, anything.

"Do you want to come?" The voice was low and gentle.

"Yes." He hissed between his teeth.

"Do you want me to help you?"

Squeezing his eyes shut, Tom nodded his head in assent. If he couldn't get the thoughtful lover he'd settle for the concerned commander. It didn't matter which role Chakotay chose to play; Tom was so horny he'd accept anything if the first officer would only touch him.

"Take off your shorts Tom."

He released his death grip on his middle and hooked his thumbs in the waistband of his boxers. Lifting his ass, he slid them down to ankles and kicked them off with his feet. When he was done, Tom lay still with his arms glued to his sides and waited.

As his mind registered that the commander had moved closer, he felt a broad palm rest on his abdomen. The fingers were spreading out like fan and closing again. Slowly the hand edged closer to the base of his stomach and Tom sucked in his breath. He felt a gentle caress along the shaft of his penis.

"Oh please…"

Chakotay answered his plea and began moving his hand in long measured strokes. It felt so delicious that Tom moaned aloud and lifted his butt in time with the commander's movements. As his orgasm neared the pilot brought his arms up and folded them over his eyes.

"Come for me baby." Chakotay's mouth was by his ear and it was the closeness of the commander's lips that sent him over the edge.

Snaking his own hand under the covers, Tom placed it over Chakotay's and climaxed. The release was incredible and it made him wish they could do all over again. He threaded his fingers through the first officer's holding them to him, as he caught his breath.

"Better?"

Chakotay's voice brought him back from the unconsciousness he'd been drifting towards. Not sure of the proper response to give your superior officer after he jacks you off, Tom just nodded. The commander reclaimed his hand and replaced it with something soft. After gently cleaning him, Tom felt the big man roll back to his side of the tent.

"Good night Lieutenant."

Opening his eyes for the first time since the experience started, Tom chanced a look at the commander. He was back in his original position facing the canvas wall breathing evenly. Stifling an urge to brush his fingers over that strong back, he turned over and tried to sleep.

As Tom fell into slumber he thought he heard a wolf howl somewhere in the night.

********

She'd been right.

After settling Rad comfortably on her breast she'd heard the unmistakable sounds of lovemaking coming from the next tent. Kian wasn't sure how it was accomplished with two men but from the sound of the moaning it seemed it must be pleasurable for them.

Finishing her morning absolutions she walked back to the campsite where Rad was chatting with the healer. He didn't look particularly well but he was awake and that filled her heart with joy. Tom had said that Rad would recover entirely from the attack but it would take time. Unfortunately they didn't have time. Her father would be looking for her and if he found her he'd take her back home. 

Kian bypassed the two men to look for the 'commander' as Tom called him. If Chakotay really were sent by the spirits, he'd help her and give her supplies. She laughed at the irony of the situation. Unlike her, Father would have no trouble believing that Tom and Chakotay came from the spirit world. He would however have a hard time believing that they were here to help the infidels as he called them. Kian found the new worn path and followed it to the ruins.

Careful of her footing as she descended the sedge covered slope she saw Chakotay sitting crossed legged in the middle of the plaza. His eyes were close and his hands rested on his knees. Kian knew what he was doing because she'd seen her father do it a thousand times. The chieftain was talking to the spirit world. Any doubts she'd had about his origin dissipated, as she perceived the serene look of grace on Chakotay's face. She backed away quietly fearful of disturbing his meditation.

"Kian?"

She stopped her retreat and walked over to him to accept her punishment. Kian fell to her knees.

"Forgive me great chief. It was not my intention to interrupt."

Chakotay smiled and for first time she noticed his beauty. With Tom it had been easy. His grace and golden hair took one's breath away immediately but with the commander it was subtler. His allure was different. Tom's aura could ignite your senses but Chakotay's had the ability to ignite your soul.

"It's all right Kian. I was done anyway." He urged her to sit comfortably with his hands. She acceded and mirrored his position. "What is it?"

"Rad and I have to leave."

"Now? Tom says Rad isn't well enough to travel yet, especially not on foot." His voice became solemn. "And what about the Roke?"

"I know but we have no choice. If my father finds me, he will prevent me from taking the Ki to Rad's father for study."

The big man stood and ran a hand through his dark spiky hair. Kian remained where she was as she watched the chieftain wrestle with his thoughts.

"How long will it take?"

"Three maybe four days."

"And once you're there you'll be safe?"

She nodded. "Rad assures me that his that his father will welcome me into their home."

Chakotay held his hand out to her and pulled her to her feet. He continued to hold her hand as he spoke.

"I can escort you to the city but only if you don't reveal my help to anyone." He took her chin between two fingers. "Not to anyone, not Rad's father and certainly not your own, understand?"

Silence would be a small price to pay for help from the gods.

"Yes I understand and I will forfeit my life to you if I break my oath."

The smile returned. "Well thank you for the offer but your silence will do. OK?"

"OK." She responded, hoping she used the odd colloquial properly.

He released her face and steered her in the direction of the camp.

"Now let's go see if we can talk Paris into going with us."

Paris? Kian followed his lead and wondered if this "Paris" was 'his' god.

********

"Captain Janeway will kill us."

"Only if she knows."

Damn he was sexy when he went Maquis. Tom wondered if the commander would be terribly offend if he asked him to screw him in the shade of this big assed boulder they were hiding behind. The blond pilot sighed. If the man's business as usual attitude this morning was any indication, he just might be. Tom put his libido on hold and focused on the commander's latest infraction of the Prime Directive.

"So what the hell are we supposed to tell her we've been doing for the last ten days, getting a tan?" Tom inched closer to the commander. "And what about the potassium iodide? We haven't even harvested any yet."

Chakotay ignored his attitude. "We'll tell her we were studying the flora and fauna and it will be the truth. We just don't have to say we did it while at the same time as traveling along the base of the mountain range. As for the Ki, we should have plenty of time to harvest it when we return."

OK that was doable. Tom was never good at reports anyway and if a small fact, such as they were helping a priest's daughter and her lover make medical history, failed to make into his logs, well it wouldn't be the first time he'd left out an important detail. Besides he couldn't say no to the commander when turned on his renegade charm.

"I'm in but it's your ass that catches the heat if were caught, OK Commander?" He poked the commander in the chest for emphasis.

"OK Lieutenant."

Chakotay grabbed his hand and Tom lost his breath. He'd wanted all morning to have the big man touch him and now that he was, it was electrifying. Tom tilted his head and leaned in for a kiss. When he was centimeters from his goal, the first officer released his hand like it was on fire and took a step backward.

"We better get ready. You secure the Flyer, grab some supplies and I'll pack up the tents." Not waiting for him to answer, Chakotay took off in the direction of the campsite.

OK now it was personal. Tom realigned his goals from wanting to avoid the man because of his cold heart to doing his damnedest to melt it. 

He headed towards the cave and the Delta Flyer and told himself as he walked that his goals weren't unreachable or too high. Chakotay didn't have to declare his undying love or anything like that. That's not what he wanted from the man. No he really only wanted one thing from the first officer now.

A kiss.

********

He'd wanted to kiss Tom Paris and he was fairly sure Tom Paris had wanted to kiss him, so why did he run away?

Chakotay lay back on the thermal blankets in the tent he was supposed to be packing up and raked his fingers through his hair.

Well first off they hadn't talked about what last night had meant. It had been a dream come true for him to be able to satisfy the man he loved sexually but it had also been a nightmare. Chakotay had been terrified of touching him any more than he did and thus revealing the entirety of his feelings for the young man.

What would Tom have done if he'd begun to whisper words of love into his ear? If it was only sex for the lieutenant, which it very likely was, the pilot would have probably socked him the jaw or made some sarcastic remark. Both would have crushed his heart and destroyed the tentative friendship that had taken them years to develop.

Fine said a voice inside him. Then don't say anything at all and just take what's being offered to you. Chakotay considered that. He'd likely get hurt in the long run but could he possibly hurt anymore than he was now? Probably but he'd have better memories in consolation.

Then there was B'Elanna. He'd already betrayed her trust by touching her lover last night. If she found out B'Elanna would scream and beat the crap out of him but she'd get over it and move on.

So it was decided. There would be no more running away and no more false excuses. Tonight if the blond was willing, Chakotay would touch him, kiss him and even fuck him.

Tom didn't have to know that what he was really doing was making love.

******

"Are you losing your hair too?" Rad looked over his shoulder at Tom.

"No, it's just the cut." The slightly insulted lieutenant pulled his backpack closer to the rock they were sitting on. "Now turn around and zip it."

Tom pulled out the tri-corder and palm probe from his pack, turning off the audio on both devices. Rad sat quietly while he was examined.

Chak and Kian were further up the trail, scouting for a campsite and Tom dearly hoped they'd find one of those fresh water pools the young woman spoke of. After six hours of walking in the dusty terrain, Tom looked forward to a refreshing dip before turning in. He didn't want to crawl under the covers tonight with Chakotay, smelling like a wet targ. Tom would never get his kiss then.

Putting away his diagnostic tools, Tom grabbed the regenerator and ran it over Rad once before stowing it away too.

"OK all done. You can turn around."

The young man gave him a small bow and a grateful smile.

"Thank you healer."

"Hey don't mention it." Tom gave his own cocky version of a smile back. "I live to serve."

"Yes I'm beginning to see that." Rad placed a pale hand on the pilot's knee and donned a serious face. "When Kian told me you where coming with us, I told her we couldn't ask that of you."

Trying to keep the conversation light, Tom quipped, "You didn't ask, Chakotay did."

"Yes Kian told me about the two of you." His head tilted to the side. "I must admit I was a bit surprised, it isn't very common where I come from."

Oh hell the spirit thing. Chakotay mentioned Kian thought they were ghosts or some odd thing. Not knowing what to say, Tom elected to say a little as possible.

"Oh?"

"How long have you been together?"

Tom counted their years in the Delta quadrant in his head. "About six years or so."

Rad's dark eyes went wide. "That's a long time."

"Yeah sometimes it feels like a lifetime."

Rad removed his hand from Tom's knee and threaded his fingers together. "I knew I loved Kian from the moment I saw her." The pale skin blushed radiantly. "Was it the same for you and Chakotay?"

Oh shit. This wasn't about what they were; it was about what they were to each other. Rad thought he and Chak were lovers and remembering the thin walls of the tent and his vocal appreciation of Chak's efforts last night, it was little wonder. Finding he couldn't out right deny Rad's assumption, Tom opted for being vague.

"No, he had to walk by me a couple of times first."

"Really? With Kian I knew right away." Doubt mixed with fear entered the young man's voice. "But I was afraid because we were so different."

Tom looked out into the desert at the horizon where the sun was descending in a wash of red and gold and sighed.

"Yeah, I hear you."

"But if you love someone enough, they can't help but to love you back."

"Is that right." His voice was bitter.

It had been Tom's experience that you could love someone with all you heart and still get kicked in the gut for your trouble. His father had taught him that little lesson by the time he was five. Growing up, Tom had done everything his father expected of him to get his attention without success. It wasn't until he was an adult and had become a royal screw up had the admiral finally taken notice of him but only long enough to disown him.

The experience had set the pattern for his life. Tom had learned that loving someone hurt and had made a personal vow that he would never give that much of himself to anyone again. However these last few years on Voyager, Tom had found that oath more and more difficult to keep.

Harry Kim had been the main culprit. The ensign's unsolicited friendship and selfless devotion had been a revelation. Harry didn't care if Tom was the damn best pilot in the Delta quadrant or the worst in the Alpha. The unassuming young officer still liked the man who was Tom Paris anyway and had honoured him with the title of best friend.

And then there was Captain Kathryn Janeway, a woman who not only noticed his achievements but also encouraged them. Even when he had failed to meet her expectations, she'd stood by him offering wisdom and support. Like Harry, Tom supposed he loved her, but it was an easier type of love and not the type Rad was talking about.

Enter the enigmatic first officer. Like his father, Chakotay was distant and like his father, Tom craved his attention. There were many parallels between the two men but there were also as many discrepancies. Where the admiral had been an equal opportunity bastard to everyone, Chakotay saved that discrimination only for Tom.

Compassion and understanding came second nature to the commander. The former Maquis believed in people not regulations, their present situation being a prime example. The admiral would have probably let Rad die and left Kian to her own devices in the desert, but Chakotay risked a trip back to the Alpha quadrant in the brig to help the two young people. So if the first officer had a heart big enough for two strangers, the crew of Voyager and the entire DMZ, surely there had to be room enough for Tom.

"Are you talking to your god?"

Rad's question brought Tom out his self-indulgent musings and he stood stretching his stiffening muscles.

"Nah, just thinking about him."

Rad nodded knowingly. "Tough one."

"Yeah. We'd better get moving."

The lieutenant picked up his pack and threaded his arms through the straps securing it to his back. Placing a gentle hand under Rad's shoulder he helped the frail man to his feet and began to guide him down the path. 

Rad rose and removed the pilot's hand, electing to travel unaided. He was sick and he was dying but Tom saw he still had his pride. Tom watched his unstable gait and marveled at the young man's ability to face the injustices of his life with courage. Rad traversed a few meters before he noticed that Tom wasn't following. He called over his shoulder.

"You coming?" When Tom didn't respond right away, Rad turned to face him. Bruised eyes that knew what suffering really meant looked into his. "I know it's a hard path Thomas but it's worth the effort."

Seeing more understanding in those violet ringed eyes than Tom was able to bear, the lieutenant lowered his head and set off down the trail.

********

"Tell me about where you live."

Chakotay sat down by the pool beside Kian and removed his pack. Picking up a few loose stones and tossing them into the clear depths of the mountain spring, he considered his answer carefully.

"It's a lot like where you come from I suppose. We have healers, builders, record keepers and warriors just like you do." He dipped his hands into the icy pond and sluiced water over his dust-covered face. "And oh yes, we have a Neelix."

Kian slipped off her boots and pulled up her leggings. "What's a Neelix?" She immersed her tired feet into the coolness of the small lake. "Is that your tribe's totem?"

Falling flat on his back, Chakotay laughed harder than he had in a very long time.

"No not exactly. Neelix is our moral officer."

Kian twisted her body to look at the jubilant chieftain.

"Moral? Does that mean he's responsible for making you happy?"

"Yes something like that."

She took her feet out of the water to lie on her stomach beside him.

"But doesn't Tom do that for you?"

He propped himself up on his elbows. "He does but not in the same way."

Chakotay thinking he had probably said more than he should have, watched as the intelligent young woman considered his words. She played with the grasses they were lying on and looked at him through her lashes.

"How is it different?" She twisted strand of grass into a plait of her hair. "I mean how did you know you loved him?"

Realizing she was asking her first mature questions about love, Chakotay sat up. He considered lying about his feelings, but in the end did what he did best. He told the truth.

"I knew because for the first time it hurt."

"It hurt?"

"Yes and it still does." Chakotay crossed his legs and waited for Kian to match his position before continuing. "If I'd had a choice, I wouldn't have selected someone like Tom to love."

"Why?"

"Because he comes from a different, colder world than I do. A place where duty and rules are religion and the needs of the people are often ignored in the process."

"That doesn't seem like Thomas. He's been so kind."

"I'm not saying he's not, it just that he wasn't brought up with the same values I was." Not believing he was confessing his soul to a 20-year old girl, Chakotay spoke his pain. "He's hurt himself and he's hurt others trying to live up to his world's standard's."

"But even though he's so different, you still love him?"

"Yes."

Kian closed her eyes briefly, before shaking back her dark mane and staring him in the eye.

"So you would risk your own belief system and give your future over to chance just to be by his side? All because you love him?"

"If I had to, yes."

Chakotay looked at the earnest woman at his side and felt humbled. In loving Tom, he hadn't risked his entire way of being like she had. The only thing he had risked was his pride. 

He was about to rise to go looking for Tom and Rad, who had been gone far too long, when Kian butted her head into his shoulder.

"But what if after all our sacrifices they don't love us as much as we love them?"

Hearing the fear in her voice, Chakotay threw his arm around her. This time he had no answer to her question. He kissed the top of her head and gave her the only advice he had left.

"You pray to the spirits they do."

******

"Are you coming to bed?"

Tom had almost added 'darling' to cover his shyness as the strange words left his lips. It wasn't everyday he asked Chakotay to his bed.

"Soon." The commander didn't look up at him and continued to stare into the flames of the campfire. Tom crossed his feet and sat down beside him on the blanket taking warmth not from the fire but from Chakotay's proximity.

After being the last of the four to finish his bath, Tom had gone back to the tent and found it empty. Ignoring the chill from his wet hair on his collar, Tom threw his gear into the shelter and went in search of the commander.

"So what do you see in there?"

Chakotay eyes still didn't touch him but as he spoke, the commander's deep velvety voice did. Tom got goosebumps on his goosebumps.

"Desire, love and destiny."

It was a perfect answer for a perfect setting. Tom didn't know why but when Chakotay went all mystical warrior on him, it made the hair on every inch of his body stand up. Before it used to just unnerve him but now, in front of a roaring fire under twinkling stars, it aroused him. Turning his body so his crossed shins were flushed against the commander's thigh, Tom leaned forward and spoke softly into his ear.

"Am I in there anywhere?"

"Do you want to be?" The first officer spoke quietly into the fire.

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"No." Tom kissed the soft spot behind Chakotay's ear. "But I might be willing to find out."

Chakotay shifted his body and turned to face him so only their knees touched. The light of the fire played over his handsome face as he spoke.

"This isn't last night."

"I know that." Somehow this wasn't going the way he planned. 

"Do you? If you want me to touch you, I will but this time you'll have to touch me back. Understand?"

Tom knew instinctively that Chakotay was asking for more than a kiss and more that just sex. The commander would never consider being "fuck buddies" with anyone. Like everything else he did, the first officer would give his whole heart and if Tom agreed to his terms, it would mean the start of a relationship between them and not casual sex. The lieutenant studied his hands thinking that he was getting in over his head, and a little too close to breaking his oath. Deep in his thoughts, Tom felt a comforting hand on his knee.

"It's all right Tom." The first officer nodded knowingly and rose from the blanket. "Good night, Lieutenant."

"Night." Tom's voice was small.

Chakotay had taken his reticence and silence as rejection and had accepted his decision stoically. Tom heard the sound of footfalls retreating behind him and a fear greater than being hurt gripped him. It was the fear of never knowing the commander's love and caring first hand.

"Wait." He heard the footsteps slow. "Please!" Tom spoke a little louder and the footsteps stopped.

With measured movements Tom rose from the blanket. To bolster his courage, he took a deep breath before turning to face the commander.

Chakotay stood patiently waiting, looking every inch the rebel Maquis even in his Fleet uniform. The glowing firelight softened the chiseled features of his handsome face. Concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other, Tom approached him not stopping until he entered the commander's atmosphere.

"I understand."

"Tom." The pilot could tell from the tone of his voice and from the shake of his head, Chakotay was still trying to give him an out. Taking advantage of his greater height, Tom took a step closer and peered down into the first officer's dark eyes. He used his most seductive voice to counter act his commanding officer's more condescending one.

"I said I understand." He took Chakotay's face in his hands. "Now kiss me Commander."

With more care than he thought he was capable of in his aroused state, Tom eased his lips into Chakotay's. Tenderly he acquainted himself with their fullness and taste before daring to explore further with his tongue. Chakotay responded to his gentle probing, parting his lips slightly to allow Tom entrance. The pilot tilted his blond head to the left and threaded his fingers in the silky short hair at Chakotay's nape trying to gain deeper access.

As his lover's tongue danced melodically with his, Tom began to lose mastery of his senses and quickened the pace of the rhythm. His hold on the commander's head tightened and his teeth bit at the Chakotay's lower lip between crushing kisses. Losing himself in the sensation, Tom barely felt strong hands encase his wrists and move them lower. It was only when Chakotay's own hands palmed his ass bringing their erections together, that he realized the change. He moaned into the commander's mouth.

"Oh fuck yeah."

Taking advantage of his opened mouth, Chakotay slid his tongue into him, taking over direction of the kiss and slowing its pace.

It was called soul kissing. Tom had heard the term before but this was the first time he'd experienced it. Chakotay stroked his teeth, gums and the length of his tongue with his own slowly in time with the rocking of his hips.

Each movement brought their cocks together in glorious friction and Tom shuttered with desire and fear. He hadn't seen the commander's cock last night but from what he could feel now, he knew it was large. Tom just hoped he wouldn't be 'too' large.

Chakotay would possess him first. There was no question of that. It was all part and parcel in Tom's surrender to the man who had so effortlessly breached the defenses he'd taken a lifetime to build. It was just that his previous experiences with anal sex had been less than satisfying no matter what size his so-called 'lovers' had been without the added pain of a large dick. Tom had spent enough nights bringing himself to completion, after his partner had expelled themselves deep within him to know that. Reading him like a probe the commander felt his distance and stopped the kiss. Chakotay slid his hands up his back to touch his still sodden hair.

"Your hair is wet."

Watching the puffs of condensation come from the mouth that was at the moment his sole reason for living, Tom responded in his usual smart-ass fashion.

"Yeah Chak, that's what happens when you go into the water."

The first officer's touched his forehead to his and kissed the tip of his nose like he would a small child and not a perspective lover. "We better get you in the tent then before you catch chill."

Tom gave him a teasing smile. "I knew it. You did come on this trip to take care of me."

"You got a problem with that Lieutenant?"

"Not in this lifetime Commander."

Chakotay took his elbow and Tom let him guided him in the direction of the shelter and into everything the mystical man saw in the fire.

Desire, love and destiny.

*******

Miracles of miracles, Tom Paris wanted him. Chakotay followed his dream into the tent, ducking his head as he entered.

The commander watched in wonder as the pilot stripped gracefully and effortlessly despite the low ceiling of the shelter. When he was done, Tom slipped under the covers to wait for him. Glittering blue eyes, shining in the dim light of the shelter, looked up at him expectantly.

"Are you coming to bed?"

In million years, Chakotay never thought he'd hear those words issued from those lips. He fell to his knees beside the enchanting creature that he was about to make his lover. Not trusting his tongue, Chakotay nodded and stripped off his jacket and under tunic. Long fingers on a delicate hand emerged from the covers to trace the underside of his pectoral.

"I never thought you'd be this beautiful." Tom said as he ran one by one of his fingertips over Chak's erect nipple.

The commander didn't speak because the only words that came to mind were 'I love you' and he didn't think the pilot was ready to hear those words. To distract himself from the thought, the commander used his thicker darker fingers to undo the clasp on his trousers. Tom stopped him.

"Let me."

Cradling his hand under the first officer's, Tom released the fastener and drew down the fly. Slowly the young man peeled back the material in a vee, exposing the woven silk of the commander's shorts and the silhouette of his swollen member. Tom traced the outline and whispered.

"It's big."

"Not so big." Chakotay closed Tom's hand in his and squeezed it reassuringly. "I won't hurt you." He brought the hand up to his lips and kissed it gently. "I couldn't."

Pulling back, the commander removed the rest of his uniform and slipped under the blankets, settling on his side next to Tom. He was careful not to let his erection brush the lieutenant's leg.

They were in the same position they'd been in the previous night but now things were different. Tom was inviting Chakotay to do more than just give him release, the pilot was offering to give the commander release as well.

Like a blind man in an unfamiliar room, Chakotay ran his hand down Tom's side seeking out curves and crevices. He relished the smoothness of the pilot's skin as his fingers traversed over his ribs, to his hip bone, finally stopping at Tom's thigh covered in soft hairs that Chakotay knew had to be golden. Tom arched into his touch like a cat and purred out a sultry moan. The sound made the commander's cock weep and he continued his exploration.

Crossing the gap between Tom's thighs, Chakotay ever so lightly brushed the underside of his lover's balls. This time the pilot did more than moan.

"Oh man…" Tom threw back his head, exposing his pale throat.

Chakotay stopped his return trajectory and detoured to the pilot's pulsing cock. Allowing what he had denied himself of last night, Chakotay kissed the slender throat as he stroked Tom's penis. Tom's breath hitched and the commander felt a hand in his hair, massaging his scalp.

He had waited more than six years for this to become a reality. In his dreams, Chakotay had made love to Tom a hundred times never believing that in real life the pilot would ever allow him the pleasure. Well here it was and Chakotay was deathly afraid of blowing it.

The commander had seen the fear in the lieutenant's eyes at the sight of his erection. He was above normal in size but not unusually so. Spirits Tom's own cock when it was fully erect almost matched his in length if not width.

Not wanting his size be roadblock to further intimacy, Chakotay decided to give the young man time to get used to its feel and weight before they joined. If nothing happened tonight that was OK, they had many more nights to get to know each other better.

"Oh fuck Chak."

The commander refocused his attention to the man beside him whose passion was escalating. Thinking about being inside the beautiful blond had spiked his own arousal and the commander carefully pressed his cock against the pilot's thigh as he bit at his neck.

Tom turned on his side to face the commander, dislodging his hand from the pilot's cock. Tom looked into his eyes and for a moment Chakotay thought the pilot was about to speak until the man's lips descended on his. Back was the frantic kissing and Chakotay allowed Tom to have his way briefly before taming his tongue, slowing and deepening the contact.

Bring his hands around to the pilot's butt, Chakotay brought their erections together. Tom mirrored the action and taking the initiative began pumping against his hips. It was glorious and it was bringing Chakotay very near his climax. He tried to pull back, not wanting to come too soon but Tom held him fast. The pilot tore his mouth away and buried his head in the commander's shoulder. Between grunts and groans the pilot spoke.

"I can't wait…I have to…I have to…" Tom stopped speaking and cried out.

Chakotay felt the warmth of the pilot's release on his belly and fell over the edge. In a primal urge, Chakotay bit Tom's neck as his orgasm tore through him. Tom spoke tender words into his ear; words that in his fevered state the commander's brain was unable to process and held him to his chest.

In a tent that had suddenly become stifling warm, Chakotay pulled his sweat-slicked body back from his lover. Tom was flushed and glowing. The commander traced his fingers across the pilot's swollen lips down to the reddening mark on his pale neck. The eventual bruise would show above the collar of Tom's uniform and Chakotay found he liked the idea of his mark being visible. It denoted ownership and possession. Chakotay laughed aloud at his archaic response and at the joy it brought him.

"Not the reaction I'm used to but for you I'll make an exception." Tom said with a bright smile and glittering blue eyes.

Chakotay kissed the upturned lips. "Good. I want to be your exception." He encased the pilot's face with one hand. "In all things."

"You are." Tom tilted his head to the side and placed a kiss on his temple near his tattoo. "It scares the hell out me Chak but it's true."

"It scares me too." Chakotay refrained from saying that what he was really afraid of was of losing this and not of it happening as Tom did.

Twisting an arm behind him, the commander grabbed the towel the pilot had discarded in a heap after his bath. After wiping the both of them down as best he could, he traded it for his neatly folded towel and tucked it beneath them covering the wet spot their lovemaking had created. Tom watched him with an indulgent grin.

"You do like taking care of me."

"You make it easy."

Tom laughed a laugh that Chakotay would willing die for and settled his blond head down into the crux of his shoulder.

"Easy is not a word usually associated with me. Difficult and cocky are more like it." He twined his legs with Chakotay's.

"Well then I guess you'll just have to get used to it Lieutenant because I intend to make you intimately acquainted with the word."

"Whatever you say Commander." He kissed the first officer's chest and in a fading voice said, "Whatever you say, baby, whatever…"

Wrapping his arms around the sleeping man, Chakotay closed his eyes and relived the past half-hour.

Easy for the most part had been the operative word. It was easy to touch Tom and it was easy to love him. The hard part would be finding the right time to tell the blond pilot all of that. Chakotay was playing for keeps and making the wrong move at the wrong time could frighten the skittish lieutenant away. So Tom would have to say it first. 

Chakotay had been a warrior his entire life one way or another and knew when to fall back in order to gain the ultimate victory. Patience could have great strategic value and the commander was wise enough to know it was the best tactic at his disposal to win this battle. These last six days on the planet had revealed something about the pilot that the last six years on Voyager hadn't.

Tom Paris wanted to be won.

******** 

"Chakotay!"

The commander opened his eyes and then quickly covered them with his hand until they had time to adjust to the morning light. He shouted back at Kian through the tent flaps.

"What is it?"

Tom shifted in his sleep, melding his body closer to the commander's but didn't wake.

"We have company!" There was panic in her voice.

"I'll be right there."

Chakotay peeled Tom from him and pulled on his uniform, grabbing his phaser but tucking it out of sight. In the midst of his commotion the pilot finally woke.

"What's up?" He rubbed his eyes like a small child.

"Someone's here." Feeling a fierce desire to protect his lover, Chakotay gave an order he wouldn't have normally given to any other fully trained Starfleet officer. "Stay here while I check it out."

But being the Fleet brat that he was, Tom easily saw the breach of protocol. "No, I'll back you up." He began to rise.

"No." Using the flat of his hand on the pilot's chest, Chakotay pushed him back down to the floor of the shelter. "You can dress but you will stay here until I call for you." With two fingers, Chakotay captured Tom's chin. "Understand Lieutenant?"

Tom slumped back on his elbows. "Perfectly." With a sneer that that caused a small ache in Chakotay's heart, he added, "Commander."

Shelving his pain in deference to knowing that Tom would be out of harm's way, Chakotay left the tent.

********

Oh spirits!

With his right hand resting on the phaser hidden under his jacket, Chakotay walked to the group of men standing at the edge of their campsite. He didn't sense any immediate danger but thumbed the weapon to stun as a precautionary measure anyway.

It was if he'd entered a time warp back to when his ancestors traveled the plains of his original home world, Earth. Like the aboriginal people of the time, the men wore ornately decorated tunics and breaches of tanned leather. Memories of the holo pictures that had graced his grandfather's home came to mind as Chakotay looked into their swarthy faces framed by dark long hair. These people could be of his tribe but for one notable exception. Strapped to each man's leg was angry serrated edged knife the length of his arm.

Kian rushed forward at his approach and took his hand, leading the commander to less than happy looking assemblage. Letting go of his hand, Kian gave a small bow to a regal man standing in the middle of the group. In a clear voice she spoke, keeping her eyes to the ground.

"Commander Chakotay, this is the great healer and shaman Emiak." Kian looked up at the commander through her lashes and whispered. "My father."

Noting the positions of the priest's guards, Chakotay touched his chin to his chest in reverence before speaking.

"My name is Chakotay and I welcome you as a friend."

Not saying a word, Emiak circled him taking in the cut of his clothing and his greater height. Chakotay suffered through the inspection like he had with the priest's daughter two days ago. When the shorter man was done, he returned to his previous position and gave the commander a cold stare.

"You say you are my friend and yet you hold my daughter captive?" 

"I am her guide not her abductor." Chakotay returned Emiak's stare trying to fill it with sincerity. "I have made it my responsibility to see her through the desert safely."

"And the boy as well?" Emiak's voice hardened to bitterness. "Are you a protector of infidels?"

Chakotay unobtrusively scanned the crowd for the sickly young man and sighed inaudibly in relief. Rad was absent and the commander hoped that he was safe in the tents behind him. Knowing his next words would be like drawing an imaginary line in the sand, Chakotay squared his shoulders and loomed over the shaman who was a head shorter.

"I protect who I choose to and make no discriminations regarding faith."

"Hah! Then you are no better than the godless vermin who live among the peaks." With a flick of his hand, Emiak dismissed him. "I relieve you of your responsibility." He nodded to one of his men who started forward in the direction of the shelters. Kian cried out and fled the group for her beloved. 

Thinking Kathryn would probably want his head on a platter after his next action, Chakotay stepped in front of the warrior and in his most authoritative voice issued a command.

"Stop." The stunned man did as he was told and looked to Emiak who in turn looked to Chakotay.

"We wish you no injury chieftain but you will not prevent us from taking what is ours. Stand aside."

"No the boy is under my protection and belongs to no one."

Emiak eyes narrowed in hate. Chakotay surmised that man probably wasn't used to being defied, which could be for the commander, a good thing or a bad thing. The first officer hoped for the best and that Emiak would back off but thumbed his phaser just in case the man panicked.

Fear in both animals and men often lead to unpredictable and dangerous consequences. Chakotay could already see the fear building in the 10 or so men behind the priest causing them to grip the handles of their sabers. If Emiak didn't make the right choice here, Chakotay had a feeling he wouldn't be around to feel the captain's wrath. The commander held his breath and readied his body for battle as the seconds ticked by.

"Oh fuck!"

All eyes, including the priest's when wide and before Chakotay could register what was happening the entire Mepae party fell to their knees bowing their heads. Chakotay turned to see the reason for their sudden capitulation.

With only his boxers for covering, sat Tom just outside the tent with his feet twisted in a thermal blanket. The planet's radio-thermal sun beat down on the pilot giving the hair on his head, torso and legs a golden glow. Feeling the commander's hard gaze, Tom shone his brilliant blue eyes on him and smiled timidly.

"Hi."

******** 

"Stay!"

If he weren't sprawled out in his skivvies, in front a bunch of staring spectators, Tom would have barked a couple times at the commander. However guessing by the dark stare Chakotay gave him before turning back to the natives, now wouldn't be a particularly good time for levity.

The situation was tense. Tom had heard the whole conversation and the ensuing standoff through the thin walls of the tent. It had been that deadly silence that had goaded him into action and attempt to rush to Chakotay's aid. Unfortunately as he hurried to dress, his feet had become entangled in the blankets causing him to fall ass backward out of the tent. Thank the gods he'd managed his boxers before losing his balance or he would have given his unexpected audience a real show.

"Tom?" 

The quiet voice behind him made him jump. He kicked the blankets off his feet and sat up.

"Kian?"

The young woman sat down beside him, her eyes on the group at the edge of their campsite. The Mepae were still on their knees but their heads were up listening to the commander. Chakotay wasn't speaking with the same thundering voice he had before and Tom was unable to follow their discourse. He turned to Kian for insight.

"What's going on."

As she made to answer him, she stopped and her eyes explored his body. Tom shifted uncomfortably under her scrutiny.

"Kian?"

"Sorry." She looked away quickly. "They think you're a spirit."

"Me?" 

He understood that she and Rad had thought him a bit mystical because of his ability to heal the young man but these people, all he done for them was his best imitation of an idiot.

"Why Kian?" She was doing her damnedest not to look at him. Using the fingers of his right hand, the pilot lifted her chin gently. "Please Kian it's important."

"Because you're the colour of light." She pulled back from his touch and looked at him reverently. "And you're made of gold."

OK he'd been told he had a silver tongue but made of gold, never. Kian was looking at his body again and Tom looked down at himself trying to see what she found so fascinating.

Tom scanned his chest and legs. They were pale and hairy unlike Chakotay's smooth dark succulent skin. If they were talking about gods here, Tom's vote would be for the commander. The little guy in his boxers hardened slightly, seconding the pilot's motion.

"Don't you see how beautiful you are?" Kian reached a hand out and ran it along his forearm. "Spun gold, you're made of spun gold."

As he watched her hand leave his arm to caress his flank, realization hit him. He was a hairy blond in the midst of a bunch of smooth skinned brunettes. Tom smacked his forehead and blamed his stupidity on his current fascination on the latter. Tom stopped his companion's wandering hand and started acting like the efficient Fleet officer he knew he was.

"Where's Rad."

Kian regained her poise at the mention of her lover's name. 

"Sleeping."

Good. That meant for now he was out of harm's way. Tom stood and looked over at Chakotay. The commander hadn't asked yet for his help but maybe that was because he wasn't aware of their leverage in this confrontation.

Seduction was the name of the game here and Tom was an adept. The goal was to get Kian and Rad to the mountains and Tom was committed to using every advantage he had to make that a reality.

So screw the Prime Directive and screw everything his father had ever told him, Thomas Eugene Paris was going to follow his lover's lead and do what he wanted.

He was going to lead with his heart and not with his fear.

*****

Charming, oh yeah he could do charming.

Besides flying Voyager and pool, it was one of the few things Tom was really good at. He knew how to make them like you and when to pull back leaving them wanting more.

At an early age he'd been aware of the advantages his appearance afforded and had honed it into a finely developed survival skill. It had gotten him through everything from tiresome parties with his father's cronies to the terror of imprisonment at Auckland. Figuring the Mepae would fall some where in the middle of those two extremes, Tom put on his sexiest smile and strode forward to stand beside Chakotay. Kian followed in his wake.

The commander was talking about their trip through the desert and didn't notice his presence until he brushed shoulders with him. Tom received a less than enthusiastic welcome from the big man.

"I thought I told you to stay put Lieutenant." Chakotay tried to keep his voice low but from the look of surprise on Emiak's face, Tom surmised it wasn't low enough.

Drawing his head down to the commander's level, Tom whispered in his ear. "Trust me." Chakotay's expression was speculative. Tom leaned a little closer, his lips now touching his lover's ear. "Please baby, I know I can do this."

He wasn't surprised by the commander's nod of assent but he was surprised at how dirty it made him feel. Using his charms on Chakotay, like he did everyone else to get what he wanted didn't feel right somehow. Shelving the uncomfortable feeling for now, Tom concentrated on the task at hand. Turning to the mute priest before him, Tom started his quest of capturing the desire and then hopefully the trust of the Mepae.

"My name is Thomas Eugene Paris." He held out his hands and smiled. "You can stand if you want to."

In tandem the entire group stood and with the exception of Emiak, took a step back. The priest looked to his daughter who was now standing tall and proud beside Tom. Kian addressed her father with respect and understanding.

"It's all right father." She touched the golden hairs on Tom's forearm briefly. "You can talk to him."

Feeling envious, Tom noted the shaman's pride in his daughter's composure before the priest started his inspection of his near naked body.

As dark eyes mapped the lines of his form ritually, Tom gained some understanding into their culture. Like some people were motivated by tactile or auditory stimuli, the Mepae were driven by their visual responses. Seeing is believing took on a whole new meaning when talking about the natives of this planet.

"Are you a spirit?" The priest asked with confidence.

Still mindful of the Prime Directive no matter how much he and Chakotay had trod upon it, Tom tried to answer Emiak's question honestly without actually denying that he wasn't a Supreme Being.

"I've been called a lot of things," He moved into the shaman's personal space. "And yes, lately that's been one of them."

Feeling the impact of his closeness, Emiak voice trembled slightly with his next question.

"Why are you here?"

"Because Chakotay asked me to be."

Tom intended his answer to do two things. One, give the commander the reassurance that Tom still recognized the command structure in this unusual situation and two, let the Mepae know Chakotay was the real force to be dealt with.

"And what is the chieftain to you?" Emiak's asked plainly.

Tom was getting to know that that guile wasn't a part of these people's vocabulary. When they wanted to know something they just asked, no matter how personal the question. Accepting that Tom answered, acutely aware that Chakotay was beside him wanting to know as much as the shaman did.

"Commander Chakotay is my lover."

The last word didn't translate and Kian stepped up to interpret his meaning.

"Chakotay and Tom are mated Father." She looked up to him for permission to continue and in a nod, he gave it. "Despite their differences, and I have witnessed many, they cleave to each other and are one."

Emiak was amazed at his daughter's words. "You love a mortal?" His hand snaked beneath his tunic, pulling out a talisman on a leather strap a little bigger than Kian's. He stroked it as if in warding. "Why would you do that?"

Oh fuck. Tom didn't really know the answer to that one, so he just talked and hoped what he said made sense trying to remember he was also supposed to be a spirit.

"Because he sees the world differently I guess and it's what I needed to survive." Tom leaned into Chakotay's shoulder. "His diversity makes me shine brighter."

"Is this why you protect the infidel?" The shaman's earlier reverence of his being was fading at the mention of Rad. "Because he is different?"

"Yeah sort of and because he's the same too." Tom felt Chakotay's arm move around his waist and it bolstered his flagging courage.

"But he has no faith and loves nothing." Emiak spat.

"Not true. He loves your daughter very much. Should he be punished for that?" Emiak deep in thought didn't answer right away so Tom for dramatic effect drew his hand through his blond hair to get his attention. The priest's eyes were riveted by his action.

"Look at me." Emiak took him literally and eyed every dip and every valley of his body before looking into his deep blue eyes. "I'm different. Do you hate me too?"

"You're the spirit of light, I couldn't." Emiak was appalled at his suggestion.

In a voice that needed no acting to portray the pain, Tom pleaded with the priest. "Then do me a favour and listen to your daughter." He reached out and palmed the chunk of potassium iodide anchored around the priest's neck. "If you can have faith in this, you can at least have faith in her too."

Kian with eyes steeped in tears, stepped forward and wrapped her hand around Tom's, encasing the rock three-fold.

"I have a lot to say father and it is time you listened. If that's acceptable to the spirit of course." She turned her head to Tom and gave him a wry smile that told him she'd seen through his deception and he was simply just a healer to her once again. Tom played the game and touched his chin to his chest in not so mock reverence.

"It is and we will see to your beloved's comfort in the meanwhile."

As always when Rad's name, no matter how unobtrusively, was mentioned Kian shone with an intensity that humbled Tom. She took his hand in hers and brought them to her lips.

"My life is yours for that gesture alone, and if there is a great beyond, my essence will be forever devoted to your service." Displaying a behavior that was vaguely reminiscent of his commander, she let go of his hands and nodded her head in dismissal. "That will be all Lieutenant."

Tom bit his bottom lip to keep from laughing in pure admiration. Walking away from him with her father and his entourage in tow, was the perfect imitation of a young Captain Kathryn Janeway. How ever unintentional, the young Mepaen had absorbed visually the conduct of a Starfleet officer from them and was now emulating her version of it with remarkable flair. Tom turned to Chakotay and saw the irony was not lost on him.

"She'll be the first witness I'll call upon at our court-martial." The man who he'd all but admitted in the last half hour he was in love with, turned to him with killer dimples initiated. "If the spirit allows of course."

Tom glad the attention of the troupe had shifted to Kian wrapped his arms around Chakotay's neck. Tension seeking surcease focused on his groin and Tom touched Chakotay's lips with his own hoping to be drawn into his soul.

His beloved commander acquiesced to his desire by kissing him through the all the frivolous pretenses he had erected to get through to the Mepae. The touch of Chakotay's lips brought him back to himself and left him with a need for more. Tom broke the kiss long enough to voice that need.

"Fuck me Chakotay."

The commander buried his head in Tom's shoulder and moaned.

"Oh Poocuh I want to." Tom felt a soft kiss on his neck. "You can't ever know how much but we have to look after Rad right now."

Knowing already that the first officer's heart was big enough to encompass an entire galaxy, Tom took a step back so their bodies no longer touched. He smiled at the man who was ripping through his conception of what love was supposed to be at warp speed.

"I know you're right but I still want to hear the words before we go take a look at Rad."

"You want to hear how much I want you?" Chakotay threaded his teeth through his bottom lip before saying more.

"Yes."

The commander stood at attention and spoke as if delivering a report to a senior officer. 

"OK then listen up Thomas Eugene Paris because you're about to get an earful." Chakotay's eyes shifted to the ground. 

"I want you when I'm sad and I want you when I'm happy. I need you when I'm lost and I need you when I'm found. I want to fuck you, make love to you and totally possess you." 

The commander raised his head, taking a chance and looking up into the pilot's cerulean blue eyes. "My days don't start until I see you and they don't end unless I think of you."

Tom was literally bowled over at Chakotay's confession. His knees buckled and he fell to the hard packed surface of the desert floor on his butt. He hadn't expected this. Tom had wanted Chakotay for as long as could he remember for one reason or another but he had never prepared himself for Chakotay wanting him. Not this much anyway.

Part of him screamed out for Chakotay and another part of him hid in fear. These were the words Tom wanted to hear and Tom never got what he truly wanted. It had to be a trick or some kind of misunderstanding because if his brain had processed things right, Chakotay was telling him he was in love with him and that couldn't be right. Could it?

"Poocuh are you all right?" The big man knelt behind him and wrapped him in a hug.

"No." His voice was barely a whisper.

"I'm sorry, I know I should have waited. I was going to wait but I found I couldn't when you asked," Chakotay kissed the top of his head and said with a voice Tom had never heard before, it was so unsteady and so unsure, "I had no choice."

That couldn't be true because Chakotay always had choices and if they weren't readily there he made them. As much as he looked the perfect Starfleet officer, he was essentially Maquis and took what he wanted when he wanted to.

"Tom?" Chakotay's voice broke halfway through saying his name.

Taking control of what he could, Tom stood and thought about the sickly young man sleeping in the tent behind them. Chakotay rose with him but stood apart. Tom knew he was waiting for some kind of signal, whether it be a negative or an affirmative, to direct his actions.

Not having the strength at the moment to accept the commander or deny him, Tom squared his shoulders and headed towards the young people's shelter.

********

I love you.

It was the middle of this planet's night and the commander was still awake. Chakotay listened to his partner's even breathing and sighed. His body was exhausted but his mind was raring to go despite the long day he'd put in. They had spent they rest of the day, seeing to Rad's comfort and settling the Mepae party just outside their own site.

I love you.

Tomorrow they would discuss their situation and a possible solution to their conflict. Rad when he woke, wanted to have his say and Chakotay had promised him tomorrow he would grant his wish.

I love you.

By his calendar, the commander figured they still had at the minimum six days before Voyager missed them and he would be forced to explain his actions to the captain.

I love you.

So that left them with a three or four-day lay over before he and Tom would have to start the two-day trip back to their original co-ordinates.

I love you.

The lieutenant may still have to play the role of spirit but if it got them talking it would be worth it.

I love you.

Tom did it so well that it was a wonderful sight to behold. 

I love you and I can't believe I didn't tell you that when I had the chance.

********

He loved Chakotay.

Light the fireworks and alert the media, Tom Paris was finally in love. It had been a hard path as Rad would say, but in the end he'd found his way.

Tom had spent most of the day with the young man seeing to his needs and keeping him company while Chakotay had looked after the Mepaen delegation. 

Thank the gods he had something to distract him because it had taken him that long to process what the commander had been trying to tell him earlier and longer to figure out how he felt about it.

Rad told him that opportunities only came once and that's why they were called opportunities and not options. Sometimes you had to take chances and damn be to the consequences to get what you wanted. For some one so young, the man had a lot of answers and made a lot of sense. Tom supposed a fully trained Betazoid counselor probably couldn't have done any better.

Tom pulled his knees to his chest and listened to the sounds of the night. He could hear nothing from the Mepaens and even less from the man that lay behind him in the dark tent. Chakotay's silence meant he was awake, otherwise Tom would hear the comforting sound of his breathing and soft snoring. Thinking about options and opportunities, Tom took a chance.

"I think I'm falling in love with you."

"You don't have to say that." Said a velvety voice.

"Yes I do."

Silence reigned behind him and Tom thought for a moment that maybe he'd dreamed this morning's conversation. After all it was too good to be true that the formidable Commander Chakotay might have feelings for him.

"Turn around."

Tom did as he was told and faced the man of his daydreams. Gods he was incredibly beautiful. The dim light in the tent accentuated the commander's darker physique sculpting him into a work of art. Chakotay touched the cherished bruise on his neck softly with a blunt finger before speaking.

"I love you."

It was simple statement but it was one that changed his whole world. Emotional barriers were surpassed, doubts were left behind and fear was but a memory. Chakotay loved him and from this day on that's all that would matter. His beloved caressed his bottom lip in a light kiss.

"Tell me again."

"I'm in love with you."

"Say my name."

"I love you Chakotay."

With that declaration the commander took his mouth and touched his soul. In all his years, nobody had ever kissed him this way. It was incredible and he felt the heat from his heart seep out to his extremities sparking his arousal. Tom pressed the length of his body against Chakotay's.

"Fuck me."

Tom knew the words were crude but it excited him to say them. He needed to feel Chakotay's cock inside him to make this moment complete and knew no other way of saying so. He tried to turn so he could offer himself to his lover but the commander stopped him.

"No Poocuh. I will take you but not quite just yet."

Oh hell Chak wanted to make slow sweet love to him when all he wanted right now was to be soundly fucked by the man who was doing the same to his head. Seeing an end to his means, Tom changed his trajectory and headed south.

With very little ceremony Tom took Chakotay's formidable dick in his mouth and swallowed. The commander cried out in pleasure and as Tom bobbed his head, the big man began to lift his hips in reflex. The pilot sucked and licked until he felt hands in his blond hair directing his head for a better angle. Tom pulled up and grabbed at his med kit. Finding the tube he was looking for, the pilot slapped it into Chakotay's hand and turned over.

"Fuck me."

This time there was no opposition and very little preparation. Chakotay stuck one then two fingers up his ass to loosen the muscles briefly before he felt his cheeks pulled apart. Tom waited for the pain and was surprised by the ecstasy.

Chak was big and Tom could feel the resulting fullness but he also felt exquisite pleasure. Chakotay pumped his way into his passage a little bit at a time making sure to hit his gland with each stroke. Tom felt his cock spring to life and slap against his belly with each thrust of Chakotay's hips.

When the commander hit ground zero and was all the way in, Tom exploded. His reflex tightening of his muscles brought the commander in deeper and Tom heard Chak roar his release through his own euphoria. It was the sweetest music Tom ever heard.

Chakotay braced himself on one elbow and pulled Tom down to the tent floor facing him before collapsing. Tom rested his head in his lover's chest breathing deeply of his musk and the combined scent of their lovemaking. 

It became Tom's most favorite place to be in all the known and unknown quadrants from that moment on.

******

His shoulders were pinned by strong hands, preventing movement and when he tried to cry out, his mouth was covered.

Remembering his Fleet combat training, Chakotay relaxed his body and waited for an opportunity for retaliation. As the first officer opened his eyes, hoping to get a look at his captor, his mouth was released.

"Morning sexy." Said the beautiful blond that loved him.

"Sexy?"

"Oh yeah…" An impish smile formed on the lieutenant's face.

Once again Chakotay was imprisoned. Tom's lips locked on his and began moving at a deliberate pace. As he noted that the lieutenant had modified his style of kissing to match his, Chakotay felt the same slow measured movement against his groin. Giving himself up to the sweet torture, Chak rocked his hips back against Tom's. It was divine, it was glorious and then it was gone.

"Come on."

"Tom?" Blinking open his eyes, Chakotay looked up for his lover.

Tom grabbed his hand and started pulling him the direction of the tent flap. Still feeling a little groggy from just waking and having most of his blood pooling in his nether regions, Chakotay pulled back.

"Where are we going?"

Tom fell forward to straddle him. "For a swim."

"You're naked."

The blond grinned. "Yeah and so are you big man." Tom leaned forward and nipped at Chakotay's bottom lip as he spoke. "Everyone's still asleep and I don't know about you but I could use a little cleaning up."

The commander was skeptical. "And what if they wake up? I'm not particularly anxious to have an entire Mepaen war party looking at my naked butt."

"They won't." Tom spread his knees further apart and the commander felt the weight of the man's cock come to rest on his stomach. A sultry voice whispered, "I'll let you get me dirty again first."

Chakotay considered his options, the biggest one sitting on top of him driving him crazy with lust, and made a command decision.

"You grab the shampoo and I'll grab the towels."

********

It was almost magical.

Together they waded into the waist deep pool causing ripples along its sun-warmed surface. Tom scrunched his toes in the sand of the cooler bottom and listened to the sound of the spring trickling down the side of the mountain feeding the water hole.

This was perfect. It was a beautiful morning and he had a gorgeous man at his side who loved him. For the first time in his life Tom started to believe that maybe love didn't have to mean guarding your weak spots. That maybe it was OK to let down your defenses and let someone close. The pilot moved around in front of 'his' someone and immersed himself in the water. Tom popped up a moment later so that only his head and the tops of his shoulders felt the warm air rolling in from the desert. Wiping the water from his eyes and slicking his hair back with a hand, Tom looked up at Chakotay. The commander was lost in though with his gaze drifting in the mountaintops. Tom placed his hands on his lover's hips.

"Where are you right now?"

Chakotay looked down at him as he spoke and smiled. "Home."

The commander made the word sound synonymous with heaven, he said with such reverence, and of course for Chakotay it was. Dorvan V was a place of happy memories for the darker man and it was sole reason he wanted to return to the Alpha quadrant. Tom wished he had someplace he wanted to be that badly, other than the arms of beautiful man before him, that was.

"You miss it don't you?" Tom cursed himself for stating the obvious. "I mean you'd do anything to get back there wouldn't you?"

Chakotay bent his knees and came down into the water. "No not anything." He pulled Tom to him, wrapping his arms around the pilot's waist. "As much I want to see forests of my homeworld again, I'd give it up if it meant hurting someone to get to it."

Chakotay said the words matter of factly without ego, and Tom was touched by his integrity. The man didn't expect accolades for his sacrifices because he didn't see them that way but he did recognize the sacrifices of others. It was that character trait that brought them to this point in time. Tom kissed the incredible man's lips softly.

"Tom I've been thinking." Chakotay dodged his lips. "We have to leave."

"It's early." Tom changed tactics and went for the commander's throat intending to match the mark on his own neck. Because of Chak's darker skin, it wouldn't be as vivid as the one Tom sported but it would be fun to try.

"Tom listen to me." Chak palmed the pilot's face and brought it up right. "We can't take them any farther, we have to go back. Now before they wake."

"Now?" Tom pushed back in the pool causing small waves to lap at it sides. "Are you nuts? We've got them eating out of the palm of our hands. One word from us and Emiak will take the Ki to Rad's father himself." Tom stood and failed his arms in frustration. "The Mepaens haven't even met Rad yet!"

Chakotay rose from the water and grabbed at Tom's arms. After he'd secured the distraught younger man in a bear hug, the commander spoke soothingly into his ear.

"Hush baby, it's all right."

"No it's fucking not all right." Tom broke the hold and waded back. "You can't play the night in shining white armor one moment and then the evil admiral in the next Chak!" Tom saw his references confused the big man so he made his meaning plainer. "We said we would help them. We can't abandon them now."

"We're not." Chakotay made to take a step forward but stopped when he saw Tom flinch. "We're just handing over the job over to someone more qualified."

"Emiak?" Tom rolled his eyes. "Yeah right. The guy's bowled over by a little body hair."

"Perhaps, but his daughter's not." This time Chak did move closer to the pilot but he refrained from touching him. "Kian's a capable young woman and this will be the first of many challenges she's going have to face if she's going to bring the people of this world together."

"But what about Rad?" Unable to help himself, Tom edge forward and touched the commander's arm. "Who will help him?"

"She will and he will her." Chakotay took advantage of Tom's need for reassurance to bring the blond back into his arms. "They love each other and together they'll be strong enough to face anything. They don't need us."

"You think?" Tom cocked a questioning eye at his lover.

"Yeah I think." Chakotay nipped at the bruise on Tom's neck before looking back up into his blue eyes. "Love can be a very powerful thing Poocuh."

Damn, damn and double damn again. How the hell was he supposed to argue with that when Chakotay's love made him feel like he could leap the mountaintops in a single bound? 

Thanks to the wonders of 24th century medicine, Rad was tougher than he looked and he was a whole lot wiser than Tom was. Throw in Kian's love into the mix and the man should be with any luck, invincible. Still not comfortable with Chakotay's decision, Tom deferred to the older man for lack of options.

"So we're done messing with the Prime Directive then?"

"Yeah baby, I think it's time to go back to our world." Chakotay ran his hands down Tom's shoulders, over his forearms, to finally clasp the pilot's hands in his. "You ready?"

He wanted to scream out no. Tom would be perfectly content to blend into this society as long as Chakotay was by his side. Going back to Voyager meant facing the captain, B'Elanna and the possibility of losing the relationship he'd discovered on this complicated planet. These last days with Chak had been like a dream and going back to the ship would be like waking up and Tom was afraid of the reality. Would Voyager's first officer love him as much as Kian's Maquis chieftain?

"Tom?"

Pulling Chakotay into a fierce hug, Tom buried his head in the commander's shoulder. He memorized the man's smell and feel before standing back and letting him go.

"I'm ready Chak."

The commander favored him with his killer dimples and led him out of the pond.

Tom was ready to leave Kian and Rad to continue their quest on their own and he was ready to face the consequences of his involvement in that quest. But as he helped the commander gather their gear from the edge of the pool, Tom readied himself for the ultimate task.

He readied himself for the loss of Chakotay's love.

******** 

It had almost worked.

They had just secured their backpacks; Tom's being the lighter one as they had left the other tent for Kian and Rad, when the young pair caught them.

In retrospect Chakotay had been glad that their departure had been discovered. At seeing Kian and Rad, Tom's features had lit up for the first time since they had left the pool and although it was tearful farewell, some of the twinkle had returned to man's blue eyes. Chakotay gave Tom as sideways glance as they walked the trail back to the Flyer.

The pilot was absentmindedly playing with Kian's talisman as he moved silently, deep in thought. Occasionally the blond looked out to the desert but for the most part he concentrated on the path before him. Respecting the man's need for private contemplation, Chakotay hadn't spoken to him although he dearly wished to know what was going on in the young man's head.

In the absence of actually knowing, the commander let all kinds of scenarios run through his mind and most of them weren't good. Tom was a young beautiful man who thrived on thrill and excitement and he was a plodding not so young man who lived for peace and serenity. It was difficult to imagine that once they returned to Voyager's diverse social atmosphere, Tom would be satisfied with only him for sexual companionship. After all it hadn't been until Chakotay had been the only one available had Tom turned to him for release. 

On the brighter side, Tom had said he was in love with him and that had to count for something. All he had to do now was hope that would be enough to bind the young man to him. Chakotay had no intention of sharing the blond's favours with the rest of the crew and that included B'Elanna.

Best friend or not, Tom was the love of his life and Chakotay was prepared to do battle with the engineer if she refused to relinquish her claim on the pilot. Thinking about at Bat'leths twenty paces, the commander let out a small laugh.

"What's so funny?"

Tom had stopped walking and was looking at him quizzically.

"Nothing." Deflecting further queries, Chakotay suggested they take a break.

The lieutenant acquiesced and removed his backpack. Chakotay did the same and pulled out his water bottle. After taking a long draught, he motioned Tom to sit with him using his pack as a backrest. With an audible sigh the pilot dropped down beside him. Tom drank from his own bottle and Chakotay watched the sensuous play of his Adam's apple as he swallowed. After sluicing some of the water over his head, Tom turned to him.

"Do you think they'll really be OK?" 

"Yes." Chakotay brushed back Tom's damp hair. "Emiak may be a proud man but he's not a stupid one. He'll talk to the Anu if it means keeping his daughter. She's more important to him than his prejudices."

"Lucky girl."

Chakotay heard the wistful tone in Tom's voice. He slung his arm around the pilot's shoulders.

"Lucky planet. It's only a matter of time before the Mepaens are affected by the ambient radiation. Hopefully by working with the Anu, they will able to develop an inoculation using the potassium iodide."

Tom snuggled up to him and snickered into his neck. "I hope you don't plan on revealing that little tidbit at our court-martial."

"We didn't show Emiak the light Tom, Kian did that. We just helped her a little bit to make it possible."

"A little bit?" Tom raised his head from Chak's shoulder. "Shit, Chak, we masqueraded as supreme beings and I healed Rad."

"But we didn't reveal ourselves and the Mepaen party probably would have found Kian and Rad at the ruins and tended to his injuries. We didn't change anything that would have eventually happened anyway."

"No, you don't understand Chak." Tom sat up. "I mean I really healed him."

"You mean he would have been dead by the time Emiak arrived?"

"Yeah, that too." Tom gave him a guilty smile.

Oh spirits. If Tom was saying what Chakotay thought he was saying, they really had messed with the Prime Directive big time. Hoping he was wrong, the commander asked for clarification.

"He's cancer free isn't he?"

Tom nodded. "And one other thing."

The commander was afraid to ask, but did anyway. "What's the other thing."

"Let's just say they're naming their first born after you, OK?" Tom leaned into him. "I'm sorry but they love each other so much, I couldn't help myself."

Chakotay accepted Tom embrace and kissed the top of his golden head. Well this made things a little more complicated. First aid was one thing, but the invasive healing Tom was talking about was another. Kathryn would have a difficult time seeing their actions as inconsequential when they may be responsible for creating this world's next Surak or worse, Khan. 

"It'll be all right Tom." Chakotay said hoping it was true. "You were only following my orders." He said knowing that much was.

"Oh like the captain's gonna believe that." Tom brought up his head. Incredibly he was smiling. "The only way she's gonna swallow that one is if I tell her I only did it to get your sweet ass into bed."

Nothing fazed the pilot and the commander guessed it was one of the reasons he loved him so much. Tom accepted that shit happened and sometimes there wasn't much you could do about it but roll with it and move on.

While telling the captain that the reason they broke the Prime Directive was because they were so hot for each other they could think straight, wouldn't be his first inclination, it wasn't without merit. Kathryn was a hard core romantic and this whole situation was like one of her holo-novels brought to life and it was basically the truth. 

Chakotay kissed the smiling man before him full on the mouth before voicing his idea.

********

"And should I mention how hard I came when I felt your cock so deep inside me that I swore I could feel it tickle my tonsils?"

"Yes."

"What about when you came, you roared so loud my ears rang for hours?"

"Yes I suppose you could mention that too."

Oh this was too wild. Chakotay had decided the way out their sticky situation was to tell the captain literally how sticky they had actually made each other. It was a wacky idea but it just may work and if it didn't he was enjoying talking about it anyway.

"Can I tell her that just looking at you makes my cock weep?" Chakotay's eyes were starting to dilate. "And that I love the taste of your cock in my mouth?"

"You do?" The tremble in the big man's voice was music to his ears.

"Yeah." Tom moved around to kneel between the commander's legs. 

As Tom's fingers touched the fastening of the first officer's pants, Chakotay stomach muscles contracted creating a gap between his flat belly and the top of his trousers. Grateful that they'd run out fresh underwear yesterday, Tom was rewarded with the commander's unadorned erection as he pulled down the zipper.

"Gods Chakotay you're spectacular." Tom palmed his prize as he spoke.

The big man moaned and settled back further on the backpack. When Tom blew across the head of his penis, Chakotay closed his eyes and threw his head back. A small bead of moisture bled from the tip and the pilot took his first taste of his lover's essence.

Tastes like chicken his sardonic mind thought. Brushing away the thought Tom circled his tongue around the crest and sampled Chakotay's flavor in earnest. His senses erupted. The best vintaged wine on Risa couldn't delight his palate to this level of excellence. Bracing his hands on Chakotay's thighs, Tom leaned forward to taken in more of the delicacy that was his lover.

Because of his size, Tom was unable to take the whole of the commander's cock in his mouth but he did his damnedest to try. Relaxing his throat and breathing in, his nose came within centimeters of the wiry hair that covered Chakotay's groin. A sumptuous bouquet of musk and sweat permeated his nostrils, exciting his nipples and his own penis into painful hardness.

Mindful of the strain on his throat, Tom eased up keeping contact with the dark member with his lips. Chakotay groaned for the loss and weaved his thick fingers into his blond hair. With a delicate pressure on Tom's head, the big man began pumping in short strokes. The penetration was shallow enough to ease the stress on Tom's mouth and deep enough to give Chakotay pleasure.

The eroticism of having the commander fuck his mouth, spurred Tom's hand to the clasp of his trousers. With numb fingers he freed his erection and began to work it furiously. Pulling and squeezing himself almost violently Tom came in long hot spurts on the desert floor.

In thrusts that were becoming deeper and more erratic Chakotay continued his assault of his mouth. Tom slipped his semen covered hand into the commander's pants and massaged his balls. The added sensation became too much for the big man and he climaxed. Tom swallowed as much as he could, relishing the feel of the commander's heat deep down in his belly. When Chakotay's hands fell from his hair, Tom pulled back to sit on his heels. 

Feeling absolutely incredible and impossibly buoyant, Tom continued his earlier diatribe. Chakotay listened through slotted eyes.

"And can I say how good it feels to have my cock so deep inside you, that my balls are resting on your ass?"


"You can." The big man pulled him down beside him. "In an hour."

Go to Part Two