Matchmaker, Matchmaker 

 by Cheryl Forbes

Email for feedback: forbesc@skyia.com

Disclaimer: Voyager and her crew are the property of Paramount and not me. Whatever.

Summary: How do you mend a broken heart? You fix others.

"What you need is a man."

"I don't think so."

"Yeah, sure you do." His friend leaned conspiratorially over their table in the messhall and lowered his voice. "Have you ever thought the reason you have trouble with women, Har, is because down deep they're not what you want?"

"Or it could be that I just haven't found the right one. Have you thought of *that* Tom?" Harry whispered back a little indignantly.

"Maybe, maybe not." Lieutenant Paris said with a flash of devil's light in his clear blue eyes.

It had been along time since Harry had seen that evil look and the impish grin that came with it, too long and he missed it. Comments at his expense he could do without, but this look was a welcomed change from the dull defeated one his best friend had been sporting since his break up with B'Elanna two months ago. Harry didn't want to lose it so he played Tom's game.

"You really think so? I mean, I've never considered dating another guy. It feels kinda weird."

"Yeah, I do and believe me it can feel kinda good too." The pilot's eyes clouded over as he sat back in his chair still smiling. Now the look his friend was projecting was making Harry feel uncomfortable. This wasn't the Tom he was used to.

Tom didn't talk much about his experiences with men, although Harry knew he had them. Since their unscheduled trip to the Delta quadrant however, the pilot had dated women exclusively. His best friend was a strong, virile man and Harry found it hard to picture him with anything that wasn't soft and feminine. Granted B'Elanna wasn't exactly lady like but then again maybe that was why their relationship had hit the skids.

"Well how's about I take you word for it." Harry said starting to lose his taste for the game.

"Oh you shouldn't really." Tom shot forward again. "I could fix you up."

"Oh no you can't even manage your own love life, I'm not letting you near mine!" Even as the words left his mouth, he knew they were a mistake. Already he could see the dull, listless Tom starting to return. "I didn't mean it that way." Harry said quickly.

"No, no you're right Har. I'm a loser."

Oh shit. "No Tom you're not. You've just made some bad choices."

"Yeah, twenty five years of them."

"OK, OK so you don't do so great for yourself but you're a great judge of character." The blue eyes were starting to fire up again. "I bet if you tried you could fix up the whole senior staff successfully."

"You think?"

He was on the right track. The blond was smiling again.

"You're damn right I do."

"Starting with you?" Tom was back in full devil mode.

Oh shit again. All he had wanted to do is cheer up his perpetually moping friend, not get himself a date with a guy. Not that there was anything wrong with that. It was just that quite frankly, naked men didn't turn him on.

"Who would you set Seven up with?" He said trying to avoid the excited blond's question. Tom wasn't fooled but he was diverted.

"Oh that's easy. Neelix."

"Neelix? Oh you've got to be kidding. Neelix?"

"No Harry, it would be Beauty and the Beast kind of thing. She would see the inner kindness under his crude exterior and fall in love." The pilot said wistfully.

"Very romantic but how would you get them together? Over a steaming bowl of nutritional supplement?"

"Good idea Har."

Before he knew what was happening, Tom was waving the colourful Talaxian over to their table. Neelix left the breakfast buffet he was manning and rushed over to them.

"Yes Tom? Was there something you wanted? More leola root pancakes?" 

"No I'm stuffed but they were good. I wondering if maybe later, say around 1400 hours you could show me how to make them?"

"A cooking lesson? Of course!" The moral officer had been aware of the pilot's recent funk and was more than willing to anything to bring him out of it.

"Great we'll see you then Neelix."

Harry watched the Talaxian return to his smorgasbord of dubious culinary delights and then turned back to his friend.

"OK now I'm confused."

"How's that?" 

"Neelix has a date with you and not Seven."

"Au contraire my unimaginative friend. Neelix has a date with both of us."

"Come again?"

"I'm suppose to take over one of Seven's social lessons for the Doc this afternoon. The messhall just became my classroom."

"So while you're making pancakes…-"

"Seven will see Neelix's creative sensitive side and fall head over implants in love. With a little coaching from me of course."

"Of course."

"Now back to you Ensign Kim."

Harry sighed hoping somebody somewhere was taking notes. This good deed better count for something when his ticket came up.

"OK who?" He said in exasperation.

"He's perfect for you. He's handsome, built like a tritanium hull and likes rules and regulations all most as much as you do."

"Who!" Harry screamed not being able to stand the tension. A few crewmen looked up distractedly up from their breakfasts.

"Chakotay."

********

"He's going to kill me."

"No he won't, he's a professional. Now get your ass back in there and listen carefully to what Boothby tells you."

"If he doesn't kill me Paris, you're a dead man." Harry scowled at him and returned to face Chakotay in the ring.

Watching his friend and the commander spar from ringside, Tom realized that for the first time in months, he was having fun. It felt good.

After his break up with B'Elanna Tom had gone over and over in his mind what he could have done to prevent it. It had been a useless exercise that did nothing but drag him down further into the depths of despair. It wasn't until this morning did he find a way back out. He'd been lost and now he was found. So what if he couldn't find a soul mate? He didn't need one. 

Romance for him, was not in the cards but that didn't mean he didn't believe in it. He did. He wasn't that bad of a hard-edged cynic, not yet. Just because he couldn't have the love affair of his dreams, didn't mean he didn't want others not to. Tom smiled a real smile as he watched Chakotay knock Harry to the mat and Boothby come to the fallen ensign's aid.

He had a purpose to his life once again and it felt good, damn good.

********

"Are you going to get in here?"

Chakotay leaning over the buckle in his corner wiped the sweat out his eyes with his shoulder and peered under his arm at Voyager's chief pilot. The pretty blond looked up at him, his blue eyes laughing. 

"Ah no Commander, I like my physical sports to be a tad less physical."

"Oh really? Tell me how you do like to get physical then, Lieutenant." 

Chakotay flinched inwardly at his flirtatious remark but kept his smile steady. It wasn't what he had meant to say. What he had wanted to say was something a little less crass and obvious and little more provocative and witty.

Second chances and found dreams is what the long lanky lieutenant represented to him now that he'd left B'Elanna. Chakotay hadn't realized how badly he had wanted Tom until he had come off the market. 

With detachment he had watched the younger man flit from lover to lover, thinking that one of these days he would get tired of all the bed hopping and finally be ready for something serious. He had been shocked when the blond had finally ended up in relationship with one his best friends and that he was jealous of her.

Every day Tom had spent with B'Elanna he'd hated it. All of a sudden little things like the way the corners of Tom's eyes crinkled when he smiled or the way he lovingly played the controls of the helm as he flew Voyager, were enough to send Chakotay running to his office or his quarters to stroke out his desire.

But now things had changed. Tom was single again and Chakotay was not about waste his reprieve.

"I'm not your type Commander. Harry however…" The pilot nodded his head in the direction of the opposite side of the ring. "Shows real potential. Don't you think so?"

Chakotay followed his gaze to where Boothby was trying to get the stunned ensign to count his fingers.

"Harry?"

"Yeah sure. He's cute in a puppy dog kind of way."

"I suppose." Chakotay admitted reluctantly.

"And he likes you." Tom looked back up at him and winked. "A lot."

Oh spirits, Ensign Kim had a crush on him and the man of his fantasies was trying to fix them up.

Do you like me? That was what he wanted to ask but instead said, "So he's fighting me to get close to me? Why didn't he just ask me out?"

"Harry's shy. It's sweet, don't you think?"

"I don't know I think there's a lot to be said for bold and brassy."

Tom gave him an odd look and then continued on to spout the ensign's attributes. Chakotay was glad when the bell sounded for the second round.

********

He was being a brute.

Gerron loved his former captain to death but Chakotay was taking unfair advantage. The match was obviously uneven and the complicated combinations he was throwing at Harry were completely over the top. If Boothby didn't throw the white towel into the ring soon, he would. He stepped up beside Lieutenant Paris ringside to voice his concerns.

"Harry's not good at this."

"It's his first time in the ring." His superior officer said somewhat distractedly, his eyes not leaving the fighters.

"He's getting hurt."

"No, the safeties are on. Harry's getting pushed around but he's not getting seriously injured."

"It's embarrassing for him. Chakotay is too big and strong for Ensign Kim."

"He 'is' big and strong and…-" Mr Paris shook his head and turned. "I'm sorry what did you say crewman?"

"We should stop the fight."

"Look I've got to get to the messhall. If I throw in the towel will you make sure Harry gets home OK?"

"Yes sir!" He said with more enthusiasm than he intended but couldn't help it. 

Gerron had been waiting to take Harry home for weeks, about 364 of them. Those big brown eyes had captured him from the day he'd been beamed over from the Crazy Horse to Voyager. It was only recently that he felt confident enough to act on his feelings.

Tuvok's Fleet training had made him stronger and Captain Janeway's unwavering support had help to boost his self esteem but neither had made him feel as alive as Harry Kim.

Most people noticed his friend Tom first but it hadn't been that way for Tem. Loud and flashy might be fine for some but he was drawn to the operations officer's quiet sensitivity and innocence. 

It had been nice to find someone his age that hadn't been scarred by the Cardassian occupation. Harry still possessed the unspoiled enthusiasm he had so many years ago. It was so clean that Tem felt refreshed just being in the same room as the young ensign but now it wasn't enough. 

Now he wanted to touch more than Harry's aura, much more.

********

"I'll be in Sickbay."

After Seven left, Tom and Neelix both sunk to the floor of the galley and leaned back against the kitchen island exasperated.

"Do you think she'll be OK Tom?"

"Neelix, if that cast-iron bitch experienced burns to ninety percent to her body, she'd be OK." The pilot slung an arm over his shoulder. "You only burned her fingertips."

"She be fine?"

"She'll be fine." Tom assured him with a gentle smile.

"Sorry about ruining your date."

"Shit Neelix, I'm the one that should be sorry. She was here for you not me."

"Me?" He wasn't sure he'd heard the pilot correctly.

"Yeah I thought that maybe you and her might…" The pilot shrugged his shoulders. "You know hit it off. I know you like blondes sooo…-"

Tom was thinking of Kes, something Neelix did on a daily basis. He missed her terribly and there would always be a part of him that would always be hers. Kes warmed the same space in his heart that the Wildmans and a certain Vulcan now shared. There wasn't room for anyone else.

"Tom, I'm honoured." And he was, truly. It wasn't often the crew thought of him as someone who needed physical companionship.

"Well you could have been more if I didn't screw up the pancakes." The pilot slumped further down the island, oh damn. Some moral officer he was.

"I did that remember Tom, but really it wasn't necessary."

"Why?" His dejected friend sat up a little straighter. "Are you already seeing someone?"

If Neelix said yes, it would make the pilot happy but if he did, it would be a lie. Neelix didn't like deceit even if it was for the greater good, as Voyager's security officer would say.

"Yes." He said anyway knowing now he would have to act on his feelings to make good.

"Oh that's great Neelix! Who is she?" He said excitedly. The Tom he grown to love and respect was back.

"I'd rather not say."

"Oh I get it. The relationship is too new." 

"Yes." Now that was the understatement of the century since the 'relationship' hadn't as yet happened, if it would at all. There were some barriers that needed overcoming first.

"I understand Neelix." Tom rose, and offered him a hand up. "My lips are sealed."

"Thank you Lieutenant." Taking the proffered hand, he stood. "I'd appreciate that."

"No problem Neelix. Now if you'll excuse me, I have an appointment with a holodeck panel."

"What do you mean?"

Tom brushed down his uniform with a quirky smile on his lips. "Ah believe me Neelix you're better off not knowing."

"All right but you be careful."

"Always. Catch you later."

With a bounce in his step that hadn't been there when he entered, the lieutenant left the messhall. The dashing pilot was up to something, Neelix was sure and what ever it was, he hoped it wouldn't lead to trouble. The young man had done him a tremendous favour no matter how unknowingly and he wished him well.

After brushing down his own clothing, Neelix opened a comm channel and took his first step towards what he hoped would be happiness.

********

"Challenge accepted B'Elanna Torres."

It was the standard response the computer gave to the captain's tennis program.

"Thank you computer. Now log the time in my personal itinerary to remind me."

"Time logged as 1800 hours." Came the acknowledgment.

"Great now end simulation."

When he'd arrived in holodeck two, the boxing program was still running. The gym appeared empty, so Tom had in the name of energy conservation decided to terminate the program.

"Unable to comply Lieutenant Torres."

"Why the hell not?" He said with his hands on his hips.

"The program is still in use."

Oh shit someone was still here. Quickly Tom scanned the run down gym for its other occupant. He had no compunction about breaking access codes but he did about getting caught at it. 

Stepping away from the arch, he walked around the empty ring that dominated the room, to the back of the holodeck looking for his fellow crewmate. The various antiquated exercise machines that populated the program were idle and vacant. Perplexed, he stood still and listened. Except for his shallow breathing the only other thing he heard was emanating from an open doorway in one corner of the big room. It was the showers running.

Tom relaxed. Odds were that who ever it was cleaning up after his work out wasn't aware of his entrance let alone his tampering. He'd been about to leave, when he stopped remembering that he and the odds weren't exactly buddy, buddy lately and with his luck, the mystery crewman had entered the showers after he had illegally accessed the arch. Damn. He had to make sure or he ran the possibility of his plan being foiled and him taking an extended vacation in the brig. So turning on his charm Tom reversed his trajectory and entered the locker room to find out.

Who ever it was would be telling him their deepest, darkest secrets when he was done with them.

********

"Lieutenant?"

Chakotay stopped in his tracks by his locker pulling the white terry cloth towel tighter around his hips fighting down his embarrassment at being caught. It was after the fact but his cheeks still burned. Only moments before he had masturbated to the image of this man's blue eyes and he was afraid those same beautiful orbs had seen that.

"How long have you been here?" As he asked the lieutenant stook stock-still and another less than comforting thought hit him. Had he screamed the pilot's name as he came? He might have, he usually did.

"I, I just got here."

"Good. I mean really?" Calm be calm Chakotay. The pilot hadn't heard or seen anything.

"Yeah. So you've been in the shower." The pilot's gaze flicked down the length of his mostly exposed body.

The redundancy of the question confused him until he saw the flush on the pilot's pale cheeks. Tom was fighting his own battle. Amazingly the brash young man was more affected by his near nudity than he was. The revelation gave Chakotay back his composure.

"Did you want me?" The question was laden with crude innuendo and Chakotay accepted that he wasn't a poet. Charming and witty were beyond his reach so he would have to make do with being himself and hope the pilot wouldn't be scared off.

"Want you?" Came the whispered reply.

Tom stumbled forward until there was only the wooden bench that ran the length of the locker room between them. His expressive blue eyes were darkening under hooded lids and the nostrils of his fine patrician nose were flaring. Oh spirits he hadn't expected this. The lieutenant was aroused.

"I want you." Chakotay loosened the edge of the towel and let it fall to the tiled floor. His proud, now exposed erection jutted upwards along the curve of his belly seconding the motion.

"Oh fuck Commander." Tom's voice jumped but he didn't. He remained so close to him that he could feel his heated breath on his face. Chakotay followed the trail of warmth with his mouth and let his lips touch Tom's.

At the first moment of contact, the pilot's lips parted slightly allowing for a gentle kiss. Being careful not to spook the skittish man, Chakotay kept the caress light letting Tom control the depth of the kiss. He was raging inside but projected calmness as best he could. That veneer shattered when he felt damp fingers envelop his cock.

"Yes." He cried into the lieutenant's mouth. With his eyes closed Tom pressed his sweating forehead into his.

"Do me too." The grip on his cock went away and Chakotay heard a rustling of clothing. "Please Commander. Please."

Looking down between their bodies, he saw that Tom had peeled back his trousers to reveal an engorged penis with a glistening pink head. Letting his hands touch his fantasy intimately for the first time, Chakotay wrapped his fingers around the weeping beauty and began to stroke.

"Oh yeah." The pilot moaned and buried his head into his bare shoulder.

"Touch me Poocuh." He said relishing the sound of the endearment on his lips. After this Chakotay doubted he would ever be able to call the man anything else when they were alone. The pilot complied.

With the wooden bench still between them, heads side by side and hands working furiously at the others groin, they formed an erotic version of the first letter in the terran alphabet. 

Bringing his free hand up, Chakotay gripped the back of his lover's neck and lowered his teeth down on the pale throat. The bites weren't hard enough to break the skin but they would leave marks. Tom cried out at the small hurts but didn't pull away. Instead he beat his hips forward harder into Chakotay's hand and pumped his arm with renewed vigor.

It was all too much. He was fast approaching sensory overload as the burning in his heart traveled downward to center between his hips.

"Oh god, oh god, ohhh…-" Tom prayed into his shoulder as his pent up semen spilled over the back of the pilot's hand and then mingled between his long digits. "I'm coming, I'm, I'm, oh yeah, oh yeah!"

In a shudder, the pilot let go, his screams reverberating off the walls of the holodeck. Wanting to fall to his knees to catch his Poocuh's release but not willing to relinquish the feel of the younger man's cheek against his, Chakotay milked Tom's cock dry with his hand. It was a close second.

"Oh shit."

"What?" It wasn't the response he'd been hoping for to their loving making.

Tom pulled away from his chest and then stumbled over the other set of lockers that lined the alley. Bracing himself against their metal doors with his outstretched arms, he muttered into his left shoulder. "You're not for me."

"Not for you?" Chakotay picked up the towel at his feet and wiped his hands then dropped it again. "I just came for you."

"I know but it was wrong. You're Harry's."

"I don't want Harry Kim." He stepped over the bench to stand directly behind the remorseful pilot. "I told you." He placed his hands tenderly on Tom shoulders and whispered. "I want you Poocuh."

Spinning around the pilot shook off his hold and slammed himself back against the lockers. "Don't call me that!"

"But what we just did was special and I thought…-"

"I don't give a flying fuck what you think Commander! I don't do special!" Tom gulped down his anger in huge heaving breaths and then said in a much calmer almost sad voice. "I can't, it's not in me."

"You can't know that."

"I do, Commander. Believe me I do." The blue eyes that a moment ago burned with passion blazed with something Chakotay couldn't quite identify. It might have been fear.

"No Poocuh."

"Tom, my name is Tom." The pilot said fiercely. "And what just happened between us was a mistake. Harry is special, not me."

"You want me to date Harry?"

"Yes."

"To fuck him?"

"Yes."

"To love him?"

Tom looked away a moment and then brought his blue eyes back down. They were filled with unshed tears. "Yes, I want you to love him. He deserves it."

"And if I do so, that will make you happy?" Chakotay couldn't believe he was entertaining this whacked out request. This tempestuous blond must have captured more of his heart than he'd originally thought.

"Yes Commander, that will make me ecstatic."

"All right."

"Fine."

Tom lifted his body from the metal lockers and made to leave but Chakotay knocked him back with the flat of his hand on his chest.

"But know this Thomas Eugene Paris. If it turns out that Ensign Kim does not want me, I will come looking for you and I will not take no for an answer." He let his hand curl up under the pilot's chin. "Agreed?"

As his fingers neared his lover's sweet pink lips, Tom pulled his head back. "Agreed." He conceded as removed the rest of his body from his reach and strode out of the locker room.

Holding nothing, Chakotay stared at the hands that had not very long ago held the most precious thing in the universe.

Thomas Eugene Paris.

********

He could fix this. He had fixed this. Hadn't he? Yes dammit, he had.

Years from now when they were celebrating Harry and Chakotay's twentieth anniversary, this would be an racy story he could tell after he'd had too much to drink and nothing more. They would all laugh at the foolishness of his misdirected feelings back then and order another round.

Tom pulled himself into a tighter ball and stared out the viewport in his cabin.

Rebound man that's what Chakotay was to him. He'd been feeling a bit lonely and the commander had been a bit naked that's all. Naked, wet and glistening and oh fuck. Who the hell was he trying to kid here. There wasn't anybody else in the room.

White terry cloth had never so good as it did slung low around the handsome first officer's waist. He didn't even have to close his eyes to remember the flat stomach and the small tantalizing dips around his hipbones. The commander's beauty had struck him dumb the moment he'd seen him emerge from the shower stalls.

He was going to be cool, he was going to be charming. Of course he didn't know it would be the commander he would find at the back of the holodeck. If he had he would have left running and taken his chances with the odds.

During the fight with Harry, he had become aware of the commander's interest and knew then it was dangerous. Chakotay was a straight up kind of a guy. Somebody who believed in happily ever afters and fell in love forever. Definitely no way, no how his type. Tom didn't at that point want to have sex with anybody other than Mr Hand let alone embark into a real honest to god relationship, which by the way, was all he was sure the first officer would settle for. That's why he was good for Harry and not him.

Oh fuck Harry. If he loved anybody it was Voyager's operations officer. OK so it wasn't that kind of love but it was probably the closest he was ever going to experience. Even at his most enamored point with B'Elanna, Tom would have left her in an instant to be with his best friend if he'd asked. That man is my friend, Ensign Harry Kim had once said about him and that was the greatest thing in his less than perfect life. It was even more important than flying Voyager.

So he would get over his sudden infatuation with the first officer and let his best friend be happy. He owed him that much. Trembling, he let a sliver of selfishness weed its way into his good intentions. The commander had said he would come after him if it didn't work out with Harry.

"Fuck you Chakotay!" He screamed at the stars whizzing past his window. "I will never be yours!"


Part Two : Tom gets caught.


"He was hot."

"He was sweaty."

"He means well."

"He has a mean right hook."

"Oh come on Har, there must be something you like about the guy?"

Harry thought a moment. "He does have a nice smile."

"Killer dimples, yeah I noticed."

"You did?" It wasn't the admission that surprised him but the way Tom said it. His eyelids were at half-mast and his voice was soft.

"Shit Harry I've known the man for eight years, how could I miss them." The pilot replied defensively.

"Well I guess so." Tom had known Chakotay for longer than he had, so he supposed it made sense that he would notice the sexy way the commander smiled. However Harry had known the first officer for almost as long and he hadn't notice before yesterday. Funny.

"So are you going out again?"

"Not that I call that blood bath a date Paris, but yes we are, tonight."

"So soon?"

Oh shit, now what? One moment Tom was literally pushing the commander on him and the next he was shocked that Harry was actually doing what he asked.

"What the hell's a matter with you? I thought you wanted me to go out with him."

"I do, I do. It's just that I assumed you would take the relationship a little slower seeing as you've never been touched by a man before."

Well that wasn't quite true. Yesterday afternoon Gerron Tem had touched him. It hadn't been anything sexual, just a rub down, but he had let the young Bajoran's fingers go where no man's had gone before. It had been nice.

"We're going to a recital not an orgy Tom."

"Oh very funny. Here I am looking out after your welfare and you're making jokes." Tom sat back in his messhall chair looking spectacularly indignant.

Oh this was ridiculous. Harry didn't need this headache. After all the only reason he'd accepted Chakotay's offer was because it would make Tom happy.

"Look why I don't I just cancel."

"No!" His moody friend bolted forward and grabbed his wrist.

"Shit Tom!" Harry yanked his hand away.

"Sorry Har." He sat back again, let out a breath and spoke with quiet earnest. "I want you to go out with him and I want you have a good time. I want you to fall in love."

"Great. Then why are you acting so weird?"

"Am I?" Tom seemed totally surprised at the revelation and stared at him with big wide eyes.

"Yeah, you're about two steps away from crazy." Harry laughed lightly. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you were jealous."

"Of Chakotay?" The stunned look started to give way to an amused one. "We're just friends Har, I don't want to jump your bones."

"I wasn't talking about me." And as Harry said the words, he realized it was the first thing that made sense in this whole messed up conversation. Was Tom attracted to the commander?

"I don't want Chakotay." The pilot crossed his arms over his chest and stared daggers at him. "I don't want anybody right now."

"OK fine whatever. I'll go to the concert with him."

"Fine." Tom rose to leave.

"Where are you going? You haven't even finished your breakfast."

"I have to see a man about a Borg. See ya Har."

The pilot didn't even wait for Harry to reply back before he was gone in a flash out the messhall doors. Confused and concerned he sat back in his chair almost wishing that the gloomy Tom Paris would return. At least he knew where that man had been coming from, this one he didn't have a clue.

Maybe Tem could help him figure out his best friend when he saw him later at lunch. The Bajoran had a wisdom born of hardship that Harry hoped would help him understand the pilot's odd mood swings.

You wouldn't know from looking at the placid young man but the ex-Maquis had been through hell and survived. Yesterday Tem had told him about losing his family to the Cardassians and how Chakotay had saved him from suicide by bringing him to Dorvan V. 

Harry had been both fascinated and appalled by Tem's life story. And as the Bajoran's delicate hands had performed magic on the aching muscles of his back, he'd also been intrigued. The Bajoran was the same age as he was but had out lived him tenfold. Tem could tell him things that Harry's cloistered academic upbringing had failed to teach him and he looked forward to the prospect of learning eagerly.

The physical part of the afternoon had almost been as interesting. Harry hadn't felt weird or uncomfortable at Tem's touch. It had seemed almost natural for the Bajoran's small hands to skim down his body. Harry had been disappointed when the massage was over.

As weird as he'd been acting, Tom had been right about one thing. Being close to a man could make him feel good.

********

"Did you enjoy the match?"

"Yes but that's not the point."

"Are you going to play her again?"

"Yes," Kathryn felt her cheekbones flush in a way that had nothing to do with anger. "But again that's…-" 

"So what's the harm?" Chakotay interrupted her as he sat back casually on the lounge in her ready room and sipped his tea.

"The harm is that he logged in with an access code that was not his own. It was a serious breach of both security and privacy."

"Granted, but his heart was in the right place."

"His heart?" Kathryn settled down beside him on the couch. "What makes you so sure? Maybe he wanted B'Elanna and I in the same room so we'd tear each other's throats out."

"For what? Revenge?"

"Well they did have a messy break up and I have been concerned about his attitude of late."

"They're friends now, uneasy ones but friends. B'Elanna told me so herself the other night."

"Then what was he trying to accomplish by getting his captain and ex-lover to play tennis together?"

"Don't quote me on this but I think he was trying to do you both a favour. As to the why, why does Tom Paris do anything?"

"You've got me there but me and B'Elanna together? It's unthinkable."

"Why? You're both strong willed women who thrive on adversity. From where I'm sitting, you both seem to have a lot in common besides the fact that you're probably the only one on Voyager that can handle B'Elanna's volatile Klingon side. I'd say you make a good match."

As much as she hated anyone screwing around with her sex life, the commander 'and' Tom were probably right. Lately Michael just wasn't doing it for her. As sophisticated of a program as he was, he had his limits. The holographic bartender had become predicable, something she was sure the chief engineer could never be.

"You forgot beautiful Chakotay." She said by way of forgiveness of his not so outrageous explanation.

"I didn't." He gave her a full show of his famous, much talked about dimples. "It was implied."

"So you think I should just ignore Tom's tampering?"

"No but I would ask that you refrain from calling in Tuvok and making it an official incident."

"Chakotay it doesn't matter how altruistic the lieutenant's intentions were. I have to do something."

"Let me talk to him and I'll make him aware of the seriousness of his infraction. Off the record of course."

He was letting her off the hook and she knew it. If it turned out that there was spark between her and the feisty engineer, a public inquiry would put a damper on their romance. Despite what Chakotay said about her and Tom now being civil, B'Elanna would probably balk at entering a relationship that her ex had orchestrated.

"Fine, I'll leave the lieutenant in your capable hands."

A curious smile formed on her first officer's lips. "Thank you Kathryn."

"Your welcome. Now go, I have a breakfast date." Chakotay's eyebrows rose in amusement. "With Tuvok."

"Tuvok?"

"Yes. He said something about wanting to send a message in the next data stream."

"Interesting."

"I believe the word is 'fascinating'. Now go and give my chief pilot a proper dressing down."

"Aye, aye Captain." There was that odd smile again. It was almost irritating and she'd had enough of that today and it was only 0900 hours. After Chakotay had left, Kathryn lay back on the lounge and covered her eyes with her forearm hoping to catch a moment's peace before Tuvok arrived.

Vulcans and Klingons and matchmaking pilots, oh my.

********

"Holograms don't yawn or stretch Mr Paris."

"So what? It's not like it's a real yawn anyway Doc. It's a just an excuse to put your arm around her. You've heard of the Picard Maneuver, well this is the Paris Maneuver."

"Seven won't be fooled."

"No of course not, no woman ever is, but that shouldn't stop you from trying it."

"I don't know. All I told her was that I wanted to show her the view of Earth from Mars."

"Oh come on Doc, what'll hurt? Besides in a 57 chevy you almost have to make a pass at the girl. It's sort of tradition."

"Tradition? You're certain?"

"Oh yeah."

"Very well but if it doesn't work...-"

"I know, I know, I'll be recalibrating bio-beds for a month. Trust me Doc it'll work." The infuriating lieutenant winked at him once and then left Sickbay.

The doctor supposed he should be annoyed at Mr Paris' assumption that he wanted more than to experience the Sol system with Seven. He wanted to be, the irritating pilot was easier to deal with that way but unfortunately he wasn't because Tom Paris had assumed right. He did want to do more than look at stars with Seven.

With what was he thought were his dying breaths, he had told the exceedingly correct blonde a month ago he was in love with her. She had not responded in kind and in fact after his remarkable recovery, neither of them had mentioned the incident again. Things would have probably continued on that way if Mr Paris had not goaded him this morning into asking her for a date.

Remarkably he had given into the pilot's pestering and just as remarkably Seven had accepted after he had gotten up the courage to call astrometrics. Walking over to his console, he logged his schedule into the computer to save time in case he was needed in a medical emergency all the while running the Paris Maneuver through his algorithms.

It had better work because Seven was extremely intelligent as well as extremely efficient and if she wanted to, she could decompile his program in minutes. The only upside to her possible rejection of his advances was that he'd have the best running Sickbay in the quadrant.

Not that he'd be around to care.

********

Any minute now.

Chakotay gave up all pretense of working, he hadn't gotten a lick done all day brooding over the young lieutenant, and sat back in his chair to wait for Tom to arrive in his office.

For what the mischievous beauty had done, some kind of punishment was called for. The problem was what. Chakotay had tied his own hands when he asked the captain to keep the infraction of the record. It meant that official reprimands like docking rations, suspending holodeck privileges or the extreme penalty of brig time were out. So that meant getting creative and that was another problem.

While he didn't see life in black and white, he didn't exactly see it in rainbows either. His above average intelligence had the ability to break down complex problems into simple solutions and not the other way around. Chakotay saw no reason for posturing or hesitancy when striving towards a goal, either professional or personal. He saw what he wanted, collected the tools required to accomplish the task, and proceeded full steam ahead. Conviction and clarity of vision were his strengths not imagination and creativity. He supposed that was why he was considered stoic and not colourful as Tom Paris was.

Beauty and light followed in the young man's wake but looks alone did not define him. His humour and intelligence combined wonderfully into playful wittiness, or depending on his mood, biting sarcasm. Writing the intricacies of a holonovel came second nature to Tom, as did his ability to spellbind his peers with off coloured, but imaginative tales in Sandrine's. 

Chakotay chuckled to himself thinking that if the tables were turned, the lieutenant would have no problem conjuring up a punishment for his senior officer. He was smiling broadly and staring out the only view port in his office when the door chime rang, causing his heart to lurch.

"Come." He called, losing his grin and replacing it with a stern frown. Even if he didn't feel that way he did have to keep up appearances.

The doors slid open and allowed access to his current conundrum.

"Commander." The pilot said stiffly at full attention.

"Please sit Lieutenant." Chakotay smiled softening his countenance and hoping to put the young man at ease.

Tom watched him warily as he folded his long lanky body into the chair across from his desk. The pilot sat silently with his hands pressed together between his thighs, waiting for him to speak first.

"I thought you might interested to know that the captain won the match against B'Elanna."

"Match?" 

"Yes, the one you came back to the boxing program to arrange yesterday."

At the mention of the holodeck Tom blushed hotly and began to fidget in his chair. Chakotay wasn't certain if it was because his tampering had been discovered or the young blond was thinking of their time in the locker room. The commander in him wanted it to be the former but the man in him desperately hoped it was the latter.

"The captain has agreed to keep the incident off the books and has left your punishment in my hands but I confess that I am at a loss as to what to do with you." Chakotay rose from his chair and rounded his desk to sit on its edge in front of the nervous lieutenant. While drinking in the young man's clean scent a thought struck him. "Any suggestion?"

Blue eyes looked up at him in shock amazement. "You want me to tell you?"

"Well since the crime is unofficial and I can't use any of the more conventional means of punishment at my disposal, I thought your more unconventional thinking might help me out."

Fast blinking his eyes, Tom digested what he was saying. After a moment his previous air of uncertainty bled away into the surety of arrogance. The pilot, Chakotay knew, had been in tight spots before and used false bravado as a mode of defense. Tom sat taller in his chair and leered up at him.

"How about a spanking and then sending me to bed without any dinner?"

"Maybe another time, but right now I think we should talk about how you should make up for your mistake." Chakotay countered, surprised and pleased at his own wit.

With some of the wind taken from his sails, the lieutenant sat back in his seat with his long legs sprawled opened. Being only human, Chakotay traced the length of the slender limbs to where they met in a vee with his eyes. The black material swelled low where it cradled the pilot's balls and gathered loosely across his hips where it covered the weeping beauty Chakotay had held in his hands less than twenty-four hours ago.

"Commander?"

Quickly he averted his eyes, but it was too late. Tom caught his gaze and moved forward in his chair placing his hands on Chakotay's upper thighs.

"Do you want me to blow you?" Tom's voice was silky as he began to massage his legs in circles coming close to but not touching his growing erection. "Would that make up for what I've done?"

The boundary between duty and desire were becoming blurred as the man of his fantasy's talented hands reached up and undid the clasp on his trousers. Closing his eyes, Chakotay listened to the combined sound of their quickening breaths and the clicking of his zipper as the tab was brought down. It wasn't until his cock was fully exposed to the harsh lighting and cool air of his office did he regain his professionalism.

"No." 

Tom looked up at him with dark azure eyes, his fingers teasing the wiry hair at base of his erection. Chakotay had only stopped him verbally and had not restrained his hands. "Why not? You told me to choose my punishment and this is what I choose."

"I didn't say that."

"No maybe not exactly but that's what it amounts to."

"I don't want coerce you sexually Tom."

The man between his knees laughed. "Yeah like that could happen." Tom bit back his mirth and sobered. "Look Commander I want you and knowing you're not for me makes it a kind of punishment. So as I see it, if I suck you off, we're squared. OK?"

"It's not OK. This isn't what I want." As the words left his lips, a bead of precum formed on the tip of his penis and glistened his out his lie.

Oh how he wanted to say yes and grab the young man by the ears and fuck his mouth raw but it wasn't right. Besides the obvious abuse of power, Chakotay had promised he would only come after the pilot after Harry had rejected him. Although he was sure it would because the ensign needed someone less rigid to break into his untried heart, it hadn't happened as of yet. So somehow in some screw up way, he felt like he was cheating on his boyfriend with Tom.

"Beep! Time's up Commander."

After giving him a bright smile, Tom buried his head in his groin and swallowed his cock whole. Blinding white lights exploded behind his lids as his eyes fell instantly shut in reflex to the intense pleasure. If Chakotay could have spoken he would have told the pilot to stop but the warm moistness at his center disabled his vocal cords to point where they could only utter grunts of encouragement. And with what little he had left of his hearing, Chakotay heard Tom leave his chair and fall to his knees between his legs.

Sucking hard and fast, Tom bobbed his head up and down using his lips and tongue to bring him to orgasm. No longer able to control any part of his body, Chakotay raised his hands and placed them on either side of the pilot's face and pumped into his mouth. It only took a few long strokes before he was erupting and shooting his seed deep into his lover's throat.

When he had nothing more left to give, Tom released him, pressed his cheek into his hip and locked his long arms around his waist.

"Oh gods, oh gods, oh, oh…-" 

It in his post coital stupor it took a few moments to understand that the young man was claming his own orgasm. Chakotay threaded his fingers through the golden hair at his waist as Tom came without the aid of physical stimulation. When the crisis passed, Chakotay lifted him by his shoulders and placed him back in the chair. Tom leaned his head back and closed his eyes.

"Oh fuck Commander. How do you do that?"

Chakotay drank in everything about the man he helped to bring to completion. The tousled blond hair, the flushed cheeks, the relaxed sprawl and even the dark stain across his slim hips touched his heart. This was fast becoming more than infatuation.

"Do what Poocuh?" He closed his trousers and then reached for the pilot's hand. At the contact, Tom bolted up in his chair and opened his eyes.

"I, I don't know." The pilot swallowed and he watched the play of his Adam's apple as it moved the length of his pale throat. Near the gray collar of his tunic, Chakotay saw bruises. He let go of Tom's hand and leaned forward so he could touch them with his fingertips.

"Mine." He said not knowing if he was claiming ownership of the small traumas or the body they were on.

"No Commander." Tom pushed his hand away. "They're mine." 

"But I put them there."

"That's only a detail. They're on my body, so they belong to me."

"Poocuh…-"

The pilot bolted up from the chair forcing him backwards on the desk. "How many times do I have to fucking tell you!? My name is Tom!"

"I'm sorry."

Tom looked around the office his blue eyes dazed. "I have to go." He regained his focus and centered on him. "We're done here right?"

"Yes." Chakotay replied sadly.

"Yes." The pilot echoed back in kind and then turned, knocking the chair over in his rush to leave.

When the doors of his office slid shut, he righted the over turned chair and slumped down into it.

They just had their first fight and it was of all things over who owned the hickies on Tom's neck. It was to Chakotay as ridiculous as it was sweet. He threw his feet up on his desk and contemplated what else had happened in the last few minutes.

Tom had sucked him off to make up for illegally accessing B'Elanna's personal code or at least that's what it would look like if he put it down in his log which, by the way, he had no intention of doing. In truth, the pilot had just gotten off scot free because what had just happened had nothing to do with reparation. It had more to do with physical attraction and maybe even love.

Love. Oh spirits that was not what he was expecting. Not on his part or Tom's. He wanted the beautiful young pilot but this all-encompassing need was more than simple lust and he wasn't the only one feeling it. Chakotay was sure that the man who left his office in a daze felt the same way but for some reason fought it tooth and nail.

Tom wanted him to be with Harry.

**********

"It worked!"

"I'm sorry Doc did you say something?"

"Did I say something? I've been saying the most important things of my photonic life for last five minutes. Haven't you been listening?"

Tom uncrossed and crossed his legs on the blanket and gave his full attention to the doctor.

"Mostly."

"Mostly? I would have thought you would have been all ears since it was your idea for me to take Seven to Mars."

"I know and I think it's great that it went well."

"You could look more enthused."

"I am, really. It's just that another project I'm working on isn't going so well and I guess I'm sort of distracted."

"Well I suppose not all couples are as well matched as Seven and I, so you're forgiven."

"Thanks Doc."

"Yes well, if you excuse me Seven is waiting for me over by the band shell. Have a good evening Mr Paris."

"You too."

Through Central Park's twilight, Tom watched the doctor head across the open field for the stage where his new cybernetic love awaited him. Around him on their own blankets were various members of the crew eating, drinking, waiting for dusk to fall and the recital to begin. Some were on dates and some were in companionable groups. He was the only one that sat by himself, preferring to watch the concert alone. The only company he wouldn't have minded was keeping company with his best friend.

Tom lifted his head and searched through the crowd for them. He saw lots of couples sharing blankets and wine, the captain and B'Elanna among them but no Harry and Chakotay. Grabbing a beer from the small cooler at his side he cursed and thanked the fates at the same time. As much as he needed to see Chakotay, he wasn't sure if he could handle seeing him with Harry. Oh he'd supposed he have to come to grips with it at some point but not in the same day he'd realized that he was probably in love with the first officer. Well it was either that or he had finally taken leave of his senses. Maybe it was a little of both.

From the moment he'd walked into Chakotay's office, it was the locker room all over again. Nothing had gone the way he'd planned. He wasn't cool. He wasn't smooth. If anything he'd been down right desperate. 

Fuck, he'd all but begged the big man for the privilege of sucking his cock and afterwards had creamed his pants from the turn on of feeling Chakotay shooting down his throat alone. That had never happened to him before so it must be love or something pretty damn near it. All he knew was that there wasn't a better place in the world than at Chakotay's feet, with the taste of his come in his mouth and the man's fingers running through his hair. It had been his kind of heaven.

Unfortunately heaven wasn't a place reserved for the male members of the Paris family. For them, another, warmer place held their name cards.


Part Three: And the band played on...


Harry liked Chakotay.

Not just a little bit, but a lot. The big dark man was incredibly thoughtful, attentive and handsome. There wasn't an attribute that the commander didn't have that wasn't on his list for a perfect mate. So that said, why was it  that every time he got that warm fuzzy feeling for him he thought of someone else who was similar to the first officer but on a smaller scale? No not smaller, just a different variation of the theme.

"Would you like to try a candy apple Harry? I think I saw a vendor over on the other side of the park."

"Yes Sir."

"Yes Chakotay you mean."

"Yes Chakotay sir."

"Close enough." His first officer chuckled as he unfolded his dense frame up off their blanket and headed out into the semi-darkness of the park.

Harry was having an OK time. Admittedly it had been kind of strange when they had first entered the holoprogram but after everyone had gotten use to him having the first officer as his date, the night hadn't been too bad. The orchestra was great playing all his old favorites like Mozart, Bach and Mendelssohn and the commander had been so attentive to his comfort that at times he'd been left speechless. This man was going to eventually make someone very happy. Unfortunately or not, it probably wouldn't be him.

"Hello Harry. Can I sit down?"

"Tem?"

"So you can see in the dark. Is that a yes?"

"Most definitely."

The lithe young Bajoran sat down beside him lining up with his body shoulder to shoulder, thigh to thigh, hip to hip. The slight contact made him feel giddy.

"Where's your date?"

"Who?"

"Chakotay."

"Oh he's getting food. In this zoo, he'll probably be forever." Harry didn't know why he added that last part.

"Good." Tem threw an arm over his shoulder. "Then we have time to talk."

"You want to talk?"

If Harry wanted to talk, he could talk to Tom or the commander. Wait no that wasn't right. He enjoyed talking to Tem too but this was the wrong setting for that. It was dark, the stars were shining bright in the New York sky and the band was playing. Romance didn't get any better than this so why waste it with conversation? Shit, he couldn't believe he was thinking this way.

"No, not really." Tem moved his face close and whispered. "What I want to do is kiss you Harry Kim."

The Bajoran was either part Betazoid or he was clear as transparent aluminum.

"Me?"

"Oh yes you. Do you know how long you've driven me crazy and now you've sent me absolutely insane."

"I have? How?" Harry asked the questions because he really, really wanted to know why this worldly young man wanted someone as naïve as him.

"You're with my captain and it's killing me." Soft lips grazed his cheek making Harry feel incredibly aware.

"I'm not with him. I mean I am but just for tonight and that really doesn't mean anything. It's our first date so nothing has happened."

"He's not your lover?"

"No."

"Can I be?"

"My lover?"

"Yes."

"I've never, ah you know, done that."

"And I have many times. Sometimes because I wanted to and sometimes because it was for the good of the cause."

"You were raped?"

This was a story he'd heard before when he'd first arrived on Voyager, only the teller had been taller and blonder. It didn't matter to him then and it didn't matter to him now. Past circumstances had nothing to do with whom Harry chose to be his friends, only the here and now counted.

"No Harry never. Nothing has happened to me since leaving Bajor that I wasn't in total control of."

"But sometimes you didn't like it."

"Sometimes."

"And you want me?"

"Oh yes, very much."

"Tem…-"

"I know you're with my commanding officer and I'm no comparison, but I had to tell you how I feel."

"You're right there is no comparison." Oh hell that didn't come out right at all. "What I mean is…-" Tem stood up and cut his explanation short.

"Well then thank you for listening to me Harry and forgive me for intruding."

"You're leaving?"

"Yes."

"Can I come?"

********

Tom looked as lonely as he felt.

Leaning closer the tree as not to be seen, Chakotay watched his reluctant lover sitting alone listening to the orchestra with a sad smile on his lovely face. The young blond was barefoot and dressed in a white opened collared shirt tucked into black pleated pants. He'd been half way back to Harry with his apple when he spied the bittersweet sight.

From his vantage point, he debated on going over and speaking to Tom but wasn't sure if his company would be welcomed. From time to time, various crewmen stopped at his blanket, said a few words and then passed on leading him to surmise that the pilot was alone by choice.

"Kim to Commander Chakotay."

Startled, he slapped his comm badge. "Chakotay here."

"I have to go sir."

"Is something wrong?"

"No but something has come up. Can I call you tomorrow?"

"Very well, have a good evening Harry."

"Yes sir. Kim out."

Well that decided that. He been dumped mid date and if that wasn't a sign that the ensign wasn't interested, he didn't know was. It didn't completely release him from his promise not to pursue Tom but it did give him a little latitude. Enough for some pleasant conversation anyway. Tossing the candy apple in the nearest waste receptacle, he made a beeline for the solitary man.

********

"Good Evening Lieutenant."

Tom broke from the pity party he'd been having with me, myself and I and looked up to a vision in black.

Chakotay was dressed handsomely in snug black jeans and an even tighter black tee. From his vantage point, the commander's pecks were clearly defined and if he looked closer he could almost see the smaller muscles of his flat stomach. Harry Kim was a very lucky man.

"Aren't you supposed to be on a date?" Tom said nastily, suddenly annoyed.

"Harry ditched me." The commander replied and sat down beside him smiling.

"He did not."

"Yes he did. Can I have a beer?"

Not waiting for permission, the dark clad man reached over him purposely invading his personal space, and secured a bottle. Already Tom could feel the synapses in his brain that controlled cognitive thought shutting down at Chakotay's closeness.

"What did you do?"

The commander took a long swig of his beer not answering him right away. Tom watched mesmerized at the way the man's sensuous lips parted slightly at the bottle's head to allow the golden liquid to flow down into his throat. It was a fairly mundane action but Chakotay made erotic. Oh fuck this man was sex on two feet. Tom was suddenly glad he had opted not to wear his tight fitting jeans tonight. 

"Nothing." Chakotay sucked at his bottom lip licking away any residual beer and Tom shivered. "I was charming and polite."

"I don't believe you. Harry wouldn't just leave for no reason."

"OK, OK I confess." The commander put the bottle down and leaned into him, whispering in his ear. "I made a pass at him and after slapping my face, he stormed away."

Tom pulled back outraged. "You kissed Harry?"

"Jealous?" Chakotay smiled wickedly at him.

Tom was, he'd already been all night just knowing the two were together but there was no way in hell he was going to admit it.

"Why should I be? I'd have to care to do that."

"I'd be if it was you." Tom felt a hand on his inner thigh but refused to look or respond to the intimate touch. Staring straight ahead, he listened as Chakotay's voice became husky. "I'd be so crazy that I would tear you away from whoever you were with and take you back to my quarters and fuck you so hard you'd never want anyone else again."

Tom closed his eyes trying to block out the man's sensuality but it didn't work. Despite his efforts, his breath was quickening and his cock was hardening, tenting his pants. Chakotay noticed his response and moved his hand higher, rubbing his erection through the black fabric.

"Don't, people will see." Not that he cared but it was the only objection his tortured mind could come up with in his present state of insanity.

"If you're concerned come back to my quarters with me."

"What about Harry?"

"Harry doesn't want me."

"But maybe after he's time to think about the kiss…-"

"I didn't kiss him."

"What?" Tom opened his eyes and spun his head around. Chakotay's face was close they knocked noses.

"He dumped me."

"No way."

"Way." Chakotay smiled at him and sped up the movement of his hand. Tom's buttock began to contract in reflex. "So are you coming back to my place?"

"We're just going to fuck right?"

"What else is there to do?"

"Oh fuck off Commander you know what I'm talking about. It's not going to mean anything."

"Call me Chakotay and maybe I'll consider it."

"Bastard."

"Wrong answer."

The hand in his lap stopped and Tom moaned feeling bereft.

"What the hell difference does it make what I call you?"

"A lot. It's a border between us."

Oh so the big man noticed. Calling him by his rank had allowed Tom to keep the first officer at arms length mentally and since he had a hard time doing it physically, it was all he had. It was his last bastion against his overwhelming presence.

"I'll let you call me Poocuh?" He offered.

"I will and don't think that after we make love you're ever going to stop me from doing that again. Look I'm not asking you to love me back. All I want is for you to call me by name while we're doing it."

"You love me?" Oh fuck.

This was more than he could handle. All Tom wanted was for Chakotay to touch him and even if was more than just physical, he didn't want to acknowledge it. He wasn't strong enough to deal with another failed relationship. So if the big man wanted more than that, he would get nothing.

Chakotay blushed and continued on ignoring his question. "You're getting off track. We're here in the dark on the holodeck touching."

"So what of it?"

"Say my name."

"No."

"Why not."

"I, I don't deserve to." The words came out before he had chance to think about them. Unwittingly he had just revealed a little bit of his heart to the commander.

"You're wrong. Nobody deserves to more than you."

"No, I don't. I'm a Paris remember?"

"Don't do this Tom. Don't fight me."

"I have to. I have no choice."

"So this was never about Harry."

"No I suppose it wasn't."

"You hate yourself so much, you won't let me love you."

"No, that's not it. Maybe I love you so much, I won't let you hate me."

"Fuck you Paris."

"If that's all it was, I'd say yes gladly."

"You'll regret this."

"Oh I'm sure I will. Now leave me alone and go back to your date."

"I told you, he's gone."

"Not my fault."

"No but you could make up for it."

"How, by giving you head Commander?"

"No that's not enough for me anymore. I want to fuck you Tom Paris."

"What and not make love to me?"

"Same thing."

"No it isn't. I'll hurt you if I let you."

"You're hurting me now."

"No, no, no you don't understand. I'm bent. I'm crooked. You can't fall in love with someone like me."

"Too late."

"It doesn't have to be. Walk away Commander."

"I can't. Even if I wanted to."

"I hate you."

"You don't. I think you love me and that's why you fight me so hard."

"You're wrong, Chakotay. I do hate you."

The commander reacted to the use of his first name like Tom had slapped him. He sat back and swallowed hard.

"OK you win Lieutenant." Chakotay grabbing his hand pulled him up off the blanket and proceeded to lead him to the holodeck's arch.

"Where are we going?" Tom had to trot to keep up with the commander's brisk pace.

"To fuck and not make love. Just fuck."

********

He should have left him sitting alone on the blanket and if he didn't feel so strongly about the contrary young man, he would have. In a short five-minute conversation, Tom had made him face the fact he was truly head over heels in love while at the same time made him madder than he had ever been in his life. A Cardassian Gul couldn't piss him off more than the pilot's self pity.

And that's all it was, a stupid useless emotion. Tom was still feeling the effects of a bad breakup and had decided he was at fault because he wasn't good enough. It was incredible to Chakotay that someone so vibrant and beautiful would doubt himself but there it was. Tom was afraid of loving him because he was afraid of disappointing him. Fucking was acceptable to the younger man but anything emotional was out. The only bright spot in this situation was that the pilot wouldn't feel sorry for himself forever. In time he would allow Chakotay to love him and maybe even love him back.

He'd been speaking in anger when he'd insisted on the holodeck that Tom cared for him too. In truth he wasn't really sure. With all the bullshit it was hard to tell. Tom was attracted to him sexually that was for certain and he did like and respect him but how far that would go, again only time would tell. Well Chakotay had nothing but time. He would weather out the pilot's bout of self-pity by holding back his own feelings and treating him like a whore and hope for the best. At some point Tom would stop being a shit and besides he had no choice.

He loved him and that wasn't going to stop.

********

"Strip, Lieutenant."

"Now?"

"Well unless you want me to tear that pretty outfit from your body, I'd say yes, now's a good time."

They'd only been in Chakotay's quarter's all of two minutes before the commander had sprawled out on the lounge, leaving him standing alone in the middle of his living room.

"Or I could carry you into my bedroom and kiss it off you but then I'd have to make love to you instead of fucking you." The commander said evenly.

Bastard. If Tom any pride at all he would give the smug man on the couch the finger and high tail it out of his cabin. Yeah and then he'd flirt mercilessly with him when in public, taunting him, teasing him…-

"Oh spirits Tom you're beautiful."

He stopped planning his revenge and looked down at himself. Without thinking he had removed his shirt and fingers that looked a lot like his own were undoing the fastening on his trousers. In a disassociated fugue, he watched impassively as his pants fell to his ankles exposing a righteous erection.

"Now go to the replicator and get us some lube."

Stepping out of the puddle of fabric at his feet, Tom did as he was told, even using his own credits for the sandalwood oil he ordered.

"Now come here." Chakotay commanded with his hand outstretched.

Feeling he like he was walking into the lion's den, he moved over to the lounge. He lifted his right hand to take Chakotay's open palm but the commander went for the other one with the lube. Embarrassed at his presumption, he let his empty hand drop to his side. 

Chakotay was being true to his word. The strong handsome and normally sensitive commander was not going to make love to him. This was going to be an exchange of bodily fluids and nothing more. If he weren't so horny, he'd be impressed by the man's ability to shut down his emotions.

"Turn around Paris." Tom turned. "Good now bend over and brace your hands on the low table."

Trembling in anticipation he gripped the far edge of the glass table, with his feet wide apart and waited for the inevitable greased digit to invade him. When a warm wetness caressed the space between his splayed buttocks, he cried out in surprise and jerked his hips forward.

"Hush baby," Chakotay grasped his hips and brought him back. "And don't move until I tell you to."

Tom nodded his head silently between his outstretched arms and held still as Chakotay's tongue resumed its bathing. Nothing within reach was left untouched. Long wet strokes caressed his scrotum intermittently between small kisses and then his ass cheeks were laved then bitten in the same teasing pattern. Cruel hands at hips kneading and pinching offset the soft sensuous touches. The conflicting sensations of tenderness and roughness blended into an intense pleasure Tom felt tingle from his extremities to his center in his groin. By the time Chakotay turned his attention to the puckered opening of his anus, he was weeping and begging to be penetrated.

After rimming him and moistening his opening, the big man slipped the tip of his tongue into his aching hole. Willing himself to relax, Tom spread his legs further and pushed back only slightly remembering the command not to move and hoping the small infraction wouldn't be noticed. It wasn't and Chakotay answered his call delving deeper into him. The warm pulsing stretched and opened his passage to further pleasure. 

With a talent Tom was surprised to know his first officer had, Chakotay fucked him expertly with his tongue alone. He moved quickly until he was breathless and then instinctively slowed down when he neared orgasm. Tom was crying openly and teetering on the edge of release when the ecstasy in his ass ceased.

"Chakotay!" He cried not even aware he'd broken his number one rule.

"In a minute Tom, in minute."

Behind him he heard Chakotay undo his jeans and soon after the pop of the cap of the vial of oil he'd replicated earlier.

"Hurry before I come all over your pretty glass table!"

"Wait for me Paris!" Chakotay screamed back at him as he plunged full force into him knocking Tom to his elbows. Grunting and panting the commander rammed his cock in and out in fast strokes, grazing his gland with each thrust. 

Oh yes! This was what he needed, what he wanted. Still gripping the edge of the table, Tom pushed back trying to match Chakotay's hard beating rhythm but it was impossible. His lover was too far into his own frenzy of passion and Tom was too restricted by his position to keep up with him.

"Now Poocuh! Now!"

Chakotay was coming and the thought alone pushed him over the edge. With his balls pulled tight up into his body he sprayed semen over the clear surface of the table he was leaning on and the backs of his arms. After a few more ruthless, teeth shattering thrusts his lover completed his own orgasm and then pulled him backward into the lounge.

Sitting in Chakotay's lap with his strong arms around his waist, Tom let his head loll back over his lover's shoulder. Given time he could have dozed off and slept the night in the commander's arms and his dick up his ass but his makeshift bed had other ideas.

"Get off me Paris."

"What?"

"You heard me. Move." The arms released him and shoved him to his side on the couch. He cried aloud as the commander's cock slipped from his ass.

"Get dressed." His lover said coldly as he stood and pulled his jeans up.

"Now? I mean don't you want to maybe move to the other room and rest up for round two?"

"No. I have an early shift tomorrow and need my sleep." Chakotay moved towards his bedroom and called over his shoulder. "I trust you can see yourself out Lieutenant."

Lieutenant? Was this the same man that not an hour ago had let it slip he was in love with him? Not that he wanted him to be. Oh no but would a little tenderness after sex been so bad?

Reassembling his pride, Tom stood straight and tall in his nakedness and yelled at the retreating back.

"It will be my turn tomorrow!"

Chakotay stopped and turned, his face grave. "Yes Lieutenant it will." He said deadpan and then disappeared into his bedroom.

Damn right it will, Tom though as he gathered his clothes and dressed. Tomorrow night he was going to give the cold-hearted bastard as good as he got tonight. Don't move, indeed. When he next saw Chakotay it would be in his quarters and they would be playing by his rules.

By the time Tom was finished with him, Chakotay would be begging him to fuck him 'and' calling him Poocuh. Now he if could only figure out a way to do that without creaming himself before he entered him, he'd be set.

Feeling better about himself than he had in months, Tom left the cabin and headed home totally unaware that his supposedly 'cold hearted' lover would be crying himself to sleep that very night.

Part Four: A stretch of turbulent space interferes with Tom's plan of sexual retaliation.

"Is there anything else?"

Oh I hope to god not, Kathryn thought as she scanned her officer's disgruntled faces around the conference table. They were all edgy and this meeting had turned out to be more of a bitch session than anything else. Damn she'd be happy when they got out of this armpit of a region of space.

For the last five days they'd been navigating a system that would have rivaled the Badlands. Plasma storms and rogue asteroids littered the area necessitating the crew do double shifts to keep the ship functional. Everyone was working one rotation at their usual station and spending one other in another area. For instance, after Chakotay, she called upon his expertise to fly the Gamma shift; Paris and Baytart navigated them through this treacherous region they would proceed to engineering, sickbay or where ever help was needed. 

It was a trying time for all of them and it was responsible for her senior staff's less than pleasant demeanor this morning. Personally she couldn't blame them. She herself had been feeling a little grumpy but that had more to do with not having the time to see B'Elanna than the extra workload. She would have attributed the same excuse to her officers but except for her fiery engineer she didn't think any of them were involved romantically at this point.

"Captain I have something to report or perhaps it would be more correct to say announce."

"Please tell me it's good news Tuvok." She said in exasperation.

"It is." The Vulcan sat very straight in his chair and stared straight ahead at nobody. "T'Pel and I have decided to take a Sa-telsu. The ceremony will be private but there will be a reception on the holodeck after we clear this region of space in three days."

"What's a Sa-telsu?" It was Tom Paris that had broached the question.

"A husband Mr Paris." Tuvok replied dispassionately. 

"You're getting married?"

"Yes a third will join our bonding. It is not an uncommon practice among our people when two bondmates are separated by great distance or long periods of time."

"Well I guess all I can say to that is congratulations and ask who the lucky man is."

"Mr Neelix." The security officer replied looking directly at the pilot for the first time.

Kathryn watched as Tom sat quietly for a few moments obviously thinking of something sufficiently sarcastic to say. When he did come up with something it surprised her.

"He's perfect for you, Tuvok." He said with a bright smile on his face. "I'm sure you'll all be very happy."

Well, will wonders ever cease? His recent actions regarding herself and B'Elanna aside, Tom Paris, Voyager's resident naysayer of all things romantic these last few months, was actually advocating a happy union. And when she looked to her left at her first officer, she saw she wasn't the only he gotten a reaction out of.

Chakotay was staring openly at the lieutenant with his dark eyes wide and an expression wonder on his handsome face. She quickly looked back at the pilot who was regarding the first officer with something akin to triumph or was it defiance? She wasn't sure. 

Tearing herself away from the mysterious drama being played out before her she added her congratulations to Tom's and dismissed the meeting. After the room had emptied, she wandered over to the view port to review the meeting in her mind.

It seemed there was more going on with her staff than she'd thought. Tuvok was marrying Neelix and something was definitely brewing between her first officer and chief pilot. Given the time she would have liked to call Chakotay into her ready room to find out exactly what was in his head but unfortunately she was needed in astrometrics. Her curiosity would have to wait a few more days until they all had more time. 

Tuvok's party would be the perfect venue to discover the secret behind the first officer's reaction to the new Mr Paris and what, if anything, he had to do with it. Leaving the conference room, she speculated on the pilot's change of attitude. She smiled as she made her way to the turbo lift. Was Chakotay sleeping with the younger man? Oh that would be too wicked.

In the state she was in, her mind was open to all kinds of wild romantic possibilities and she liked it. 

********

"You'll be alright on your own?"

"Yes Doc, I have done this before."

"If an emergency comes in, you'll call me?"

"Yes, yes now go. The shift change is only going to last thirty minutes and that doesn't give you and Seven much time to do," Tom waved his hand through the air. "Whatever."

"I do appreciate you giving up your break Mr Paris and…-"

"No problem. I had to be here eventually anyway, now go!"

With a nod the overly grateful hologram left him alone in Sickbay to recalibrate the delicate instruments laid out before him on the bio-bed. Tom hadn't even touched the first dermal regenerator when his mind started to wander.

What he'd said to the Doc was true. Giving up his free time shifts wasn't a hardship. What with Harry brushing him off every day for the last week, he really didn't have anything better to do. OK, now that wasn't true.

If he'd had balls enough, he could spend his breaks in the commander's office. Chakotay had asked him but in a fit of cowardice he had turned him down. Thirty minutes wasn't long enough for anything but conversation and Tom was afraid of what he might say or ask for. Ask? Shit, plead for was more like it.

He wouldn't quite say having Chakotay fuck him was a religious experience but it had been damn fucking close. Even though the bastard had taken him coldly, nobody had ever touched him with such tender warmth and shattered with emotion, he had reacted with fury. It had been easier than accepting what had happened. At the time Tom hadn't understood his anger but he did now.

It hadn't been those few cruel moments that had hurt Tom that night. It was the fact that the commander had lied and not simply fucked him. Chakotay had gone against his wishes and made love to him. It was that betrayal that had caused him to yell out his vengeance as he left his supposedly cold hearted lover's quarters. It had taken him a day to realize that truth and another to understand that it too was a lie. The revelation had come to him at the moment he admitted to himself that he truly loved Chakotay.

He had been toying with the idea one night while trying to catch some sleep between shifts. Lying in bed, he had tested the words on his lips and surprisingly found them easy to say. I love you Chakotay had made more sense than I hate you Chakotay. It made things clearer, simpler and had lead Tom into believing that the commander had not betrayed him intentionally.

A person can't turn off such a strong emotion upon request. Especially when the individual in question was as honest and sincere as the first officer. While Tom found it easy to lie to himself at times, Chakotay's straightforward nature had refused to allow it at all. So although the commander had tried to fuck him because it was what Tom thought he wanted, his true feelings had seeped through and he had turned the act of sex into one of love. In essence what that meant was that the big guy simply couldn't help himself. So how could Tom be mad at him for that? He wasn't. Tom had now gone beyond anger into fear.

Telling his bedroom ceiling he loved Chakotay was a hell of a lot different then telling the man himself. Rejection wasn't a factor but insanity was. His heart was so full of love that he was afraid what would happen when he released it and gave over to its rightful owner. 

Who would he be then? Would he be the stronger or the weaker for it? All the stories said it would make his life beautiful but stories were works of fiction, right? Would he get a happily ever after? Did he deserve one?

In the midst of his self-torture, Tom heard the doors to Sickbay swish open.

"I thought I told you to go!" He called over his shoulder and began to work on the medical devices on the bed in earnest.

"But I just got here." Came a sultry reply close to his ear.

Tom spun on his heels and came face to face with the man of the hour. "Aren't you supposed to be in your office?"

The commander smiled and leaned his hips into Tom's, pinning him to the bio-bed. Already he could feel the makings of a hard on forming at the big man's closeness. 

"I missed you Poocuh." The commander tipped his head forward and kissed his mouth lightly. "Did you miss me?"

"Yes."

"Yes what?"

"Yes, I did?"

Tom knew what the man plastered to his chest was fishing for but if he said it now, it would be followed by a very personal declaration and Sickbay just wasn't the place for it.

"You're not going to say it are you?" The disappointment in those dark sexy eyes cut Tom to his soul.

"I want to." He offered in recompense, bringing his hands up on either side of Chakotay's face and pleading softly. "And I will, but please, don't make me do it here."

The pain in his ebony eyes receded and was replaced with joy. Nodding once, Chakotay smiled and curled his arms under Tom's shoulders placing his hands on his nape. With his broad palms now on either side of his head, the commander tilted his face and scissored his full dark lips over Tom's. Lips and tongues met slowly, greeting each other with adoration and passion. It was their first real kiss.

What had happened in the locker room had been nothing but furtive biting and sucking compared to this slow deep exploration of each other's mouths. Then, they had only wanted each other but now, it was different. It wasn't lust that fueled their kiss this time but love. 

Tom wrapped his arms around Chakotay's waist bringing him closer and trying to drink in more of the sweet emotion. When the commander's hips began to rock into him, he lowered his hands and cupped his ass. Shifting his pelvis, Tom began to drive his erection into his lover's groin. Chakotay moaned into his mouth and pushed back. A familiar tingle in his balls informed Tom that in a few more seconds he was going to come.

"It's not that bad Tem…-holy shit!"

Oh not now Harry. Not fucking now! Tom tried to fight back his orgasm but it had other ideas. Trembling and shaking in Chakotay's strong arms, it erupted with full force, filling his shorts with warm semen and wetting the front of his pants. If not for the commander's weight against his body, he would have fallen to the ground.

"Are you OK?" His savior from certain embarrassment, whispered in his ear. Tom replied softly in the affirmative to his lover's concerned gaze.

"Oh shit Tom, I'm sorry."

He peeped up over Chakotay's broad shoulder and growled. "Screw sorry! You'd better be fucking dying Harry!"

"Ensign Kim cut his hand trying to realign a power conduit." Gerron Tem answered for his appalled best friend.

Tom squeezed his eyes shut. Oh great, it was a fucking party. 

"Would both you gentlemen mind waiting in the doctor's office. Tom will see to your wound momentarily Harry."

"Yes sir." Came the twinned reply.

When he heard footfalls leave the main area, he chanced a look up at Chakotay. Incredibly the big man was smiling. No he was smirking.

"What's so bloody funny Commander?" He said with irritation.

"You are Poocuh." Tom jabbed him in the ribs to show he didn't share his sense of humour. Chakotay sobered quickly and leveled a serious gaze at him. "It's all right. I was blocking their view so they didn't see anything."

"Oh no except for me humping you like a dog in heat. No not much at all."

"They'll forget by tomorrow."

"Oh that's easy for you to say. You didn't come in your pants in front of an audience."

"In a few more moments, I would have." He kissed the tip of his nose lightly. "Would it help if I ordered them to forget Poocuh?"

"No it wouldn't." Tom noted the commander's barely concealed smile. "You're enjoying this."

"A little." He admitted. "I like having you tremble at my touch for all to see. It's a pride thing I guess."

"Oh fuck you're an over the top, top."

"Yes and I'm yours, so get used to it. Now why do you pop into the head and clean up before Ensign Kim bleeds to death?"

"Will you be here when I get back?"

"No. I have a million reports to read and a duty schedule to go over." Chakotay looked down at himself, back up at Tom and smiled. His pants were slightly damp from touching his. "And I have stop by my quarters for a fresh uniform."

"I'll miss you." Tom offered with all his previous irritation gone.

Chakotay kissed him again tenderly but this time on the mouth. "I'll miss you too Poocuh." 

And with one last flash of killer dimples, he left.

********

Eight hours.

Not four liked he hoped, thanks to Kathryn's insistence that they should work through their lunch, but eight terminally long hours until he would see his Poocuh again.

Chakotay brought up the current duty roster on his screen and sunk lower into his chair and his depression. When he did finally get some time with Tom it would be during another shift change. They would have only thirty minutes together before he would have to relieve Baytart at the helm. Tom would be entering his down cycle but still that only left the pilot a short time to eat and get some much-needed sleep. He sighed heavily and rubbed his aching groin.

Since leaving the pilot, his cock hadn't returned to its natural flaccid state. It wasn't raging like it had been in Sickbay, but it was hard enough to remind him that it hadn't gotten what it wanted. 

Despite Tom's embarrassment at coming in front of Harry and Tem, the pilot had been the lucky one. At least he didn't have to spend the rest of the day shifting in his chair like his shorts were made of Terrelian wool. Chakotay supposed he could relieve his discomfort with one quick trip to the bathroom but decided to save his desire for his lover. His release would be so much sweeter then.

Tapping his console, he brought up Voyager's schematics. Red areas showed where the constant barrage of asteroids had damaged the ship and blue dots represented repair crews. With the exception of the shuttle bay, there weren't many areas left on the normally pristine image that didn't show some form of activity. It would be a challenge to find a secluded place to meet up with Tom.

Cabins were out because they afforded more privacy than they had time for. If they were that alone, Tom would feel comfortable enough to call him by name and when it happened, Chakotay would want hours not minutes with him. No, he needed a spot where they could be alone but would preclude talking. A dangerous place to quickly satiate their mutual need was all he required for the moment.

Now that he had seen the look of love in his Poocuh's crystal blue eyes, Chakotay could wait a few more days to hear it.

Pulling his hand from his lap where it had strayed during his search, he magnified a section of the screen and found what he was looking for. It was perfect.

Seven point five hours and counting. . .


********

"So where's your boyfriend?"

Harry placed his lunch tray on the table and sat down across from Tom.

"Still working and he's not my boyfriend." Harry said truthfully.

What had happened between him and Tem the night they had left the concert together was something beyond regular boyfriend kind of stuff he had experienced with Libby. It had been more serious and grown up than that.

"Oh come on Harry. You weren't that hurt you needed Gerron's help getting to Sickbay." Tom teased.

"Maybe not and speaking of Sickbay, where's your boyfriend?"

"In his office eating lunch with the captain."

"So you admit you and Chakotay are lovers!"

"Ah I think it would be a little hard for me to deny it now Harry."

He had a point there. Harry had almost blown a relay when he walked in on his best friend and commander banging each other against the bio-bed and that hadn't even been the worst part. Seeing Tom have an orgasm in Chakotay's arms made him shudder. Oh man, he just knew he was going have nightmares about that. 

"You two weren't you know…" He stuttered on feeling a little bit of a heel for even asking. "Doing it while we were dating were you?"

"No and speaking of doing it, how long have you and Gerron been lovers?"

Tom thankfully hadn't been offended by his question so now it was his turn to come clean. He kind of owed him for that and for the round about way he'd gotten him and Tem together.

"We've only had a chance do it once." Harry tensed and waited for the inevitable crude remark that he knew would follow.

"Us too." Tom replied forlornly totally out of character. "This region of space sucks."

"Yeah."

"Yeah." A dangerous gleam started to shine through the gloom in the pilot's eyes. "So Harry, did you top or bottom?"

"What?"

"Did you stick your dick up his ass or was it the other way around." The wicked blond said trying to shock him.

The loveable scoundrel that was Lieutenant Thomas Paris was back and Harry was glad. He'd missed him.

"Ah, the other."

"Me too and he was fantastic, fan fucking tastic to be exact."

"So was Tem."

"Really Harry? That's great." Tom bit at his bottom lip. "So do you love him?"

Oh this was different. Tom Paris was talking about love. Harry couldn't even remember a time when the pilot had used the word in sentence that also didn't contain other words like sucks or bullshit.

"I don't know. Can it happen that fast?"

"Oh yeah but sometimes it takes a day or two to settle and make sense."

The pilot was talking from experience, he was sure. He looked over at his friend who had stopped speaking and was sitting quietly studying his hands in thought. OK so maybe it wasn't the same old Tom that had come back. This guy was softer and kinder than the one he'd met seven years ago but that suited Harry fine.

He could get used to a world where jokes weren't made at his expense and he didn't have to watch everything thing he said for fear of sounding naive. 

Harry decided liked this world where Tom loved Chakotay.

********

"What the hell are we doing here?"

"Shut up and strip."

"Oh no I didn't come here for the Neanderthal act again."

"Please Poocuh, so I can touch you."

"You do realize that just two metres below us, people are working? Shit, I think I can even hear B'Elanna."

"Yes and you if you talk any louder she'll hear you and investigate. Now are you going to get naked or not?"

"You're nuts."

"Would it help if I went first? Hold this."

"What is it?"

"Supplies."

"What kind of…oh. It is sandalwood?"

"No it's odourless."

"Oh shit you look good."

"Thank you, it's your turn. I'll take the bag."

"I'm cold."

"Come here and I'll warm you."

"Oh fuck you do that just looking at me that way."

"Right back at you Paris. Now turn around and lean against the wall with your feet apart. Hurry, I've only got twenty minutes left of my break."

"Well aren't you the fucking romantic."

"I can be when I have the time."

"Ohhh, that feels good."

"Hush baby."

"Oh great, the man has two fingers up my butt and he wants me to be quiet."

"And that's all you'll get if you don't shut up."

"Ohhh yeaah…I'm convinced. Oh god, tell me that's not your finger."

"Ahh, it's, it's, ahh, ahh…-"

Tired of conversation, Chakotay wrapped his hand over the pilot's loose lips and pushed his cock deeper into his tight ass. To stifle his own cries from the ears of the crew working on Engineering's lower level, he bit into Tom's pale shoulder. In reaction to the small pain at his nape the pilot beat a fist into the panel over his head. Chakotay dearly hoped that he wouldn't damage anything that would cause B'Elanna to investigate the small access alcove. While the danger of being discovered was exhilarating, being caught would not.

Releasing both Tom's mouth and shoulder, he pulled at the pilot's slim hips and seated him further on to his hungry dick. After eight long hours he needed this so badly, he was unable to wait for his lover move back on his own accord. The blinking lights of the panel glowed across Tom's inclined back in a quasi rainbow. He watched them shimmer in between thrusts.

"Oh yes, Chakotay yes…oh yes." Tom whispered breathlessly.

Oh spirits he said it and as the precious words touched his soul, his body reached its limit and letting go, he gave both over to his beloved.

Shaking and shivering in overlapping orgasms they collapsed to the hard decking. In the semi darkness of the tucked away refuge, Chakotay held Tom in his arms trying to shield his slimmer body from the cool conditioned air of Engineering.

"Chakotay, Chakotay, Chakotay." The pilot mouthed softly into his chest.

"I know Poocuh, I love you too."

Over bright eyes looked up him. "This has been fun but," A matching smiled formed. "My ass is freezing off. Can we go now?"

Chakotay laughed softly. "Yes, I think my time's up anyway."

"Good, now how the hell do we get out of here?"

"The same way we came in."

"The Jeffries tube?"

"Yes, up and out."

"My legs are killing me. I'll never make it."

"You will and if you can't, I'll carry you."

"Oh fuck, now wouldn't that make a pretty picture."

"Get used to it Paris."

"I have Chakotay, believe me I have."

He smiled at the pilot's use of his name again. It was one border crossed and when he had more time, he'd help the emotionally apprehensive man get over the next.

Sometime in the next thirty-six hours Chakotay intended to hear Tom Paris say he loved him.

Part Five:  The boys get ready before Tuvok's and Neelix's party.

He did not want to do this.

Enduring a ceremonial procession of Klingons with pains sticks would be preferable than facing this one lone part Klingon's ire. Although she'd come along way in controlling that side of herself in the last seven years, B'Elanna's anger was still a force to be reckoned with. He hit her door chime and held his breath. She was expecting him but had no idea what he wanted to talk to her about. The doors slid open.

"Chakotay, come in."

He entered realizing that this was first time he'd been in her quarters since Tom had moved in and then out.

"Can I get you something? Tea?" She hovered by the replicator. "I don't have any of that Antarian cider you like but I can replicate some. It won't be the same but if you want…-"

"Tea will be fine B'Elanna." He said as he made himself comfortable on her couch. She nodded anxiously and ordered the beverage. The engineer was nervous and foreboding hit Chakotay like a sledgehammer.

It was possible that through the ship's grapevine she'd already heard about his relationship with Tom and was dreading this conversation as much as he was, but then again perhaps not. If she had, she should be pulling her Bat'leth off the wall and holding at his throat by now. Her curious behavior wasn't making any sense.

"So what can I do for you?" She placed the cup down in front of him on the low table and sat beside him, sitting on her hands.

"There's something personal I need to talk to you about."

"I know. I've been waiting for you to show up at my door."

"You have?"

"Yes I've been walking on eggshells for a week wondering when you were going to bring up my relationship with Kathryn."

"Who you see is none of my business B'Elanna."

"Damn right it isn't!" She leapt from the lounge and faced him with her hands on her hips. "I didn't plan it Chakotay, it just happened but that doesn't matter! So what if she's the captain! What we have is good and not you or anyone else is going to make me stop seeing her!"

Screaming with her hair whipping about her face, B'Elanna was falling fast into a battle rage. If he didn't do something soon, her anger would lead her beyond the point of listening. Standing, Chakotay grabbed the shaking engineer by the shoulders and shouted into her face.

"B'Elanna! I'm in love with Tom!"

"What?" B'Elanna quieted but her eyes were still unfocused and she was breathing hard from her tirade.

"I don't care about you and Kathryn." He said his voice returning to normal. "But I do 'care' about Tom Paris."

"You and Tom?"

"Yes. That's what I wanted to speak to you about. I thought you should know how I feel about him before it became common knowledge."

She slipped out of his hold and sat back down on the couch. Chakotay followed, watching her closely.

"I don't understand. You don't even like him. How could you love him?"

"Well you know what they say about love and hate." He said trying to inject levity into the situation and relieve the tension. B'Elanna looked at him deadpan reminding him that Tom was the one with the sense of humour.

"When did it happen?"

Chakotay had been afraid she was going to ask that. How could he tell her that he had coveted the pilot's tight ass while he still warmed her bed? B'Elanna would see his avarice as a betrayal of their friendship. Was he willing to sacrifice something so precious by letting a man come between them? The deep-seated bond had with stood bloodthirsty Cardassians and an unsympathetic Federation but he wasn't sure it would survive Tom Paris. For it to do so might mean lying to her while denying his feelings for the one person he'd ever truly loved and that would be an injustice to all of them.

"Chakotay?" She prodded.

"About a year ago." He admitted, making his choice.

"A year?" The look on her face changed from one of confusion to one of extreme hurt. "You bastard."

"B'Elanna I didn't do anything about it until after you'd broken up." Chakotay held his hand out.

"Didn't you?" She backed away from him, retreating to the far end of the lounge. "Now I understand why you never took his side in a dispute. You wanted me to leave him." 

"If you remember I didn't take your side either."

"No you didn't but I thought it was because you wanted me to figure out things on my own. What a fool I was. I told you our most intimate secrets. I told you what he liked and didn't like, how he was in bed, oh my god were you taking notes Chakotay? Did my failures help you to seduce him?"

Her tone was accusing and he didn't deserve it but that knowledge didn't stop it from hurting him deeply.

"B'Elanna it wasn't like that. I all ready wanted him by the time the two you started having trouble."

"So you were circling like a vulture hoping for our relationship to die? Forgive me Chakotay if I say that doesn't make me feel any better."

"It wasn't like that."

"Get out."

"No. We're not finished talking about this."

"We are. Now leave before I have to call Tuvok."

Not waiting for him to vacate the room, she so did herself and entered her bedroom.

Stunned he sat on the lounge alone, thinking about how drastically his life had just changed. In the space of one conversation he had chosen his lover over his one of best friends, negating a vault of comradeship and memories, both good and bad.

It was, he prayed, a temporary setback. In time B'Elanna would accept Tom as his lover and partner. Rubbing his hand down his face he laughed at the perverse irony of the situation. Not only did he have to convince the skittish pilot the value of their liaison, he now had to win over his ex-lover. Didn't anyone believe that love conquered all anymore?

Heaving himself off the couch, he left B'Elanna's quarters for his own. If he hurried, he'd have time enough to shower and find something appropriate to wear before the unusual reception tonight in the mess hall.

********

"So it's like a kilt."

"A what?"

"A kilt. A traditional Scottish dress that is worn sans underwear."

"Scottish? That's a Terran species, right?"

"Well not exactly a species but yeah, they're from my home planet. Will everyone be wearing one of these?"

"It's called a ashau'ain Tom and no, as my best man you're going to be the only person, besides Tuvok and myself wearing one. The Vulcans have clothing for almost all their special occasions and ceremonies."

"You've been boning up."

"Well it has been sort of a hobby for me these last few years, but since Tuvok accepted my proposal, I've been doing a lot of extra reading."

Tom held his arms out with his head twisted back and sashayed the length of Neelix's living area. He watched in fascination how the long embroidered silk robe flowed out behind him in eddied waves. Neelix's garment was similar in style, cut high in the throat, with deeper coloured panels in down the front and long wide sleeves but where his was teal blue, the moral officer's was a deep chestnut. Tom walked back to the Talaxian, relishing the feel of the satiny fabric against his bare skin as he moved.

"So what's it like?"

Neelix fussed with the tight collar of his own version of ashau'ain. "What's what like Tom?"

"Getting married. Are you scared?"

"I already am married. We bonded two days ago."

Surprised that they'd found the time what with the chaos that had be going on for the last week on Voyager, Tom pressed his question.

"Yeah, yeah I know but before that. Did you get cold feet?"

"No. Being with Tuvok is what I dreamed about. What frightened me was finding out if he felt the same way about me as I did him."

"And he did, but it didn't scare you to think that by accepting him, that was it. Your life as you knew it was over and you'd have to change everything for him?"

"No Tom, never. I know things will be different and I'm looking forward to it. I suppose it is a little frightening but I'm not going to be alone. Tuvok will help me." The colourful Talaxian leaned into him and whispered conspiratorially. "He's a very sensitive and emotional man you know."

"Yeah hooray for sensitive and emotional men." Tom said under his breath thinking somewhere, someplace, Chakotay's ears must be burning. 

********

"You look very handsome Commander."

"Thank you Captain, so do you."

"Handsome?" She took a step back causing the pale pink and blue panels of her long shift to froth out gracefully around her bare feet. "I was going for beautiful."

"It was implied." He said bowing and allowing the dark folds of his blue-black robe to billow forth. Curling his toes in the warm desert sand of the oasis, he folded his arms in the flowing sleeves of his gown and smiled at her.

"Did you come stag Kathryn?"

"Yes, but I don't intend to leave that way. My date was delayed. She said something about doing a last minute diagnostic on the warp core." She walked over to one of the many fountains that cooled the arid garden and purloined a glass of sparkling wine from the selection that rimmed its edge. "And yours?"

"In the wedding party." Chakotay retrieved his own glass from the fountain.

Without actually saying whom they were with, they made themselves clear as the champagne they were now sipping in comfortable companionship.

As senior officers, their choice of bed partners was always going to be suspect and they both knew that. Abuse of power and sexual harassment were added issues to be considered when seeking romantic relief from someone in the ranks. Discretion and sometimes secrecy was often called for even between themselves. However with all the other baggage Tom came with, Chakotay had forgotten that. It hadn't been until he walked into the reception, and Kathryn had fallen into the game had he been reminded to show decorum.

In Central Park with Harry, it had been different. Chakotay had made a show of treating the young ensign with respect, making it obvious to all who cared to look that they were on a first date. As a result their socially correct appearance on the holodeck together had caused little speculation. Granted that probably had less to do with his demeanor and more do with the fact that they didn't make a very believable couple. With Tom it was sure to be different. No matter how he treated the intrepid pilot at this reception, it would be cause for gossip. Whom ever the pilot chose to sleep with was always news.

Tom was as beautiful as he was witty. He was considered choice companionship and attracted both sexes of crewmembers equally. When he had entered in what had seemed to be a serious relationship with B'Elanna, more than half the ship had gone into mourning. For Chakotay to make an obvious claim on the much wanted and recently singled lieutenant now would be cause for tremendous outcry. The resulting backlash could damage his credibility but only if he let it. At the moment his public image was the least of his worries compared to how the less than predicable pilot would react to the scrutiny.

Chakotay had already sacrificed his friendship with B'Elanna to be with him and had no intention of letting something as trivial as public opinion destroy what he considered to be the greatest and last love affair of his life. He was a good leader and having the pilot, as a lover wouldn't change that intrinsic fact. The crew would eventually get used to seeing Tom at his side. What would be the real challenge would be getting Tom used to being there.

It had been a battle just to get the younger man to say his name. Chakotay had no idea how much he'd fight the idea of being considered his life mate amongst Voyager's crew. Tom hadn't even admitted yet he loved him, so how could he face the actual reality of what those words meant? Fidelity, commitment, and devotion were values he believed the pilot was capable of but accepting them without feeling loss was another story. Chakotay would have to tell the tale and make him believe it with force if necessary.

"They're here." Kathryn said beside him.

Parading through the holodeck's arch strode Tuvok and Neelix in their matrimonial robes with Tom trailing behind. Voyager's crew clapped in their marriage.

Chakotay slapped his hands together with theirs in time but not for the wedding that was, but for the wedding that was yet to be.

*******

"Do you swallow?"

"Yeah."

"Really and does it taste good?"

"It's not about taste Har, it's about taking what your lover wants to give you."

"Oh. So how do you keep from choking? Every time I put Tem's cock in my mouth, I gag."

"Practice Harry. Hey did you see Chakotay?"

"He's talking to the captain, I think. Do you suck his balls?"

"What?"

"When you give the commander head. Do you do anything with his balls?"

"No I haven't had the chance. Where abouts did you see them?"

"By the fountain on the east side. What about the head? Is Chakotay circumcised?"

"No. I guess they don't do that on Dorvan V. Which fountain the blue one or the pink one?"

"Tem's clipped and his crest is big. Really big Tom. Am I supposed to put my tongue in the slit?"

"For Christ sake Har, isn't there some data file you can access for this information? Why do you have to ask me?"

"Because you've done it and as my best friend you're supposed to tell me stuff like this. Reading it isn't quite the same."

"Oh shit Har, you want me to tell you how to fuck Gerron Tem?"

"Why not? If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't even be asking."

"Shit. OK fine ask but don't be surprised if I start humping the ice sculpture. I haven't been with Chakotay for sixteen hours because of this fucking party and I'm hurting for him real bad."

"Are you in love with him Tom?"

"What does that have to do with getting your lover off?"

"Change of subject, answer the question."

"No."

"No, you don't love the commander?"

"No, I'm not going to answer your question."

"Aha! So you do!"

"Shit Harry quit reading between the lines."

"Yep, I thought so. You've been too damn nice to be anything else."

"Fuck off. I have not."

"He loves you."

"And what Betazoid told you that?"

"I don't need clairvoyance to see how much Chakotay loves you. Shit Tom, it's clear in his eyes every time he looks at you."

"I know."

"And it's clear in yours."

"It is? Oh fuck, it probably is."

"You're a goner Tom Paris."

"So now what I do?"

"Go with it. In the words of my best friend who has entirely too much attitude for his own good, take what he wants to give you."

"But he wants a lot Harry. He wants everything."

"Yeah and so what. Who are you saving it for Tom?"

"I was thinking me but I don't know anymore."

"Well take it from a friend you're not worth it. Give it to the commander."

"Oh thanks a hell of a lot."

"No problem. Now tell me something."

"I'm not going to marry him if that's what's you're going to ask next."

"It wasn't but now that you've brought it up…-"

"No fucking way Harry! He'll want rings, vows and knowing his perverse sense of morality, an open ended contract."

"You mean he'll want to keep you forever."

"Fleet marriage contracts come in three and five year agreements for a reason Harry."

"Yes they're long enough for the possibility of prodginy."

"I don't want to have a baby."

"OK so knock him up and if he really pisses you off do it more than once. Four or five times would really put the commander in his place."

"It would, wouldn't it? I can see him now trying to look all holier than now trying to tell an alien species to stand down weapons while eight months pregnant. Oh fuck Harry that would be rich."

"So why don't you humiliate him by marrying him and making him carry your children."

"Oh yeah and then at home, I'd…-oh fuck Har, I see what you're doing."

"I'm showing you what you should be doing."

"Trapped."

"OK now you fuck off. Nobody can cage you and we both know that. You're just scared to let somebody give a fuck."

"I'll hurt him."

"Oh probably but mostly you'll make him happy. Nobody gets anything for free Tom, even if your name is Chakotay and you're the first officer of the only Fleet ship in the Delta quadrant."

"He deserves more."

"Than what? He already has your love. What more could he want?"

"Humming."

"What?"

"When you have Tem's cock in your mouth, hum. That way you don't have to take it all the way and it will still feel good to him."

"Good advice, I'll consider your words Tom."

"Me too Harry, me too."

Part Six: Everyone else has got their match and now it's Tom's turn.

"So go over and say hi."

"Come with me."

"Harry…"

"Look you don't have to stay, just stand with me a moment until I feel comfortable."

His friend gave him a look of exasperation making it quite evident to Harry he didn't get it. Why should he? Tom had balls enough to stroll over to a hoard of angry Nausicans and strike up a pleasant conversation, so it stood to reason that the self-assured pilot wouldn't understand his nervousness at approaching the small band of laughing ex-maquis that surrounded Tem.

"Harry, you talk to Ayala and Tabor all the time." Tom reasoned.

"Yeah but that was before."

"Before what?" Understanding dawned. "Oh, before you let Gerron fuck you. You know, you don't look any different Har. I'm sure they won't be able