MINE

by Cheryl Forbes

Email Address for feedback: forbesc@skyia.com

Disclaimer: Voyager and her crew belong to Paramount and not me.
Whatever.

Summary: A game of pool develops into something more.

 

 

 

"Oh Chakotay."

Tom pulled off his uniform jacket and threw it across an arm of the lounge before collapsing on it and throwing his head back. His eyes slipped shut as he remembered.

Earlier that night he and Harry had been relieving the day's stress over a game of pool in Sandrine's. The last sector they had traversed had been a real bitch. Asteroids and small moons had littered the star field making for some very tricky flying and Tom swore he heard the whole ship release a collective breath when they cleared it. As result Sandrine's was hopping, full to the brim with crewmembers ready to burn off a little of that tension.

Harry noticed Chakotay's entrance before he had, waved him over to the table and before Tom had anything to say about it, the ensign was handing over his cue to the commander.

Well wasn't that just fucking terrific. Tom never played well against the commander. For some reason whenever he was in close proximity to the commander he found it very difficult to concentrate on anything else and a result his game suffered. Oh well, he already won a few replicator credits from Harry, he supposed he could afford one game with the man.

"Your break, Commander."

"Were not on the bridge Tom, you can call me Chakotay."

Tom nodded and Chakotay leaned forward to take his shot. His ears followed the sound of the balls clicking but his eyes followed the line of the commander's nicely formed ass. When he realized what he was doing he quickly brought his attention back to the table noticing there were a few less balls there than before.

"Nice balls, Chakotay."

Gods, did he really just say that? Chakotay raised an eyebrow and gave him one of his famous Mona Lisa smiles.

"Thank you, Tom."

He moved around the table for his next shot brushing past the lieutenant briefly allowing shoulder to touch shoulder. Chakotay missed his shot leaving a particularly tricky one for Tom. He stretched himself across the table bracing his hip against the edge for balance and sank the ball.

"Nice form, Tom."

Gods, did the commander really just say that? He gave the man a self- defacing smile and positioned himself for his next shot. He felt the big guy come up behind him to watch.

"Your angle's all wrong." Tom heard the voice come closer to his ear. "It's like this."

Strong arms aligned themselves with his and a warm front covered his back. It was a glorious sensation, too glorious in fact for Sandrine's, Tom thought as he tried to listen to Chakotay's instructions.

"Now try it."

The commander removed his blanketing warmth and Tom feeling a little bereft made his shot. He missed the pocket by a lightyear.

"Good try."

A consoling hand padded his back as Tom straightened to give the man access to the table for his turn. Chakotay was still standing directly behind him and when he turned hips met hips and chests met chests. They stood there a moment both acknowledging that the game they were playing had nothing to do with pool, before Chakotay broke the spell by stepping back and taking his turn.

Tom watched the commander clear the table in a daze. For the last half-hour he'd been actually flirting with the first officer and if that wasn't amazing enough the first officer was flirting right back and none too subtly either. He had noticed a few sly smiles and winks in his direction and then there was Harry.

The fresh young ensign had been dancing in his chair trying not to notice the play by play between him and the commander. Seeing his mentor in all things female jump to the other side of the pond, must be rocking his traditional hetro paradigm. Tom shook his head. Poor Harry didn't know what he was missing.

"That's game. Do you want to play again?"

Harry forgotten, the lieutenant fastened his eyes on something he had overlooked these past six years. It had been along time since he'd felt desire for a man, the credit going directly to the prison in Auckland thank you very much, but in his wildest dreams he would never had guessed that Chakotay would be the one to rekindle that fire.

"Tom?"

"Yeah Chak I want to play." He moved a little closer out of Harry's earshot. "But not here OK?"

The commander looked up into his face; his own not betraying one iota of emotion and took the pool cue from his hand. OK, Tom thought his confidence flagging, here comes the part where he wacks me up side the head with my own pool cue for propositioning him.

"OK let's go."

Half expecting to feel the blow to his head, Tom was relieve and then surprised to feel it in his heart. Chakotay put down the cue on the table, took him by the elbow and lead him out of Sandrine's leaving a very confused ensign in his wake.

********

"Computer halt lift."

They had been standing side by side not touching in deference to the other passengers on the turbo-lift, who had they had just deposited on deck eight, when Chakotay issued the order.

Chakotay turned him to face him and held him gingerly by the biceps. Tom began to quiver slightly whether it was in anticipation or just plain nervousness he wasn't sure. The big guy sensed his unease.

"Tom, I want to kiss you but if you don't want me to I won't, OK?"

"I want you to."

"You're sure, cause we can stop this right now and...- "

"Oh fuck Chakotay!"

Partly out of frustration and partly out of fear the big guy was talking himself out of this, Tom lunged forward and shut him up. Chakotay was slammed back into the wall of the lift as Tom's highly educated lips and tongue explored that sensuous full mouth.

The commander's hands went down to cup the pilot's ass and bring him closer to heat welling in his groin. He heard Tom's breath hitch and his shoulder stiffen at the contact momentarily before he was assailed by the grinding of the lieutenant's hips against his own.

"Gods, Chakotay I want you!"

When the tremor in Tom's voice pulled him nearer to the edge, he knew it was time to slow things down. He was the first officer after all and he was pretty sure that dry humping the chief pilot in the turbo lift was against Starfleet regulations. He shifted his pelvis back and returned his palms to the biceps of his future lover.

"Tom, baby hold up." Pearly white teeth nipped at his earlobe almost breaking his resolve. "Tom, stop and look at me!"

A wonderfully flush face with irises ringed in blue presented it self to him.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong other than the fact that we're moving faster than the turbo lift."

"And your point would be?" Tom trailed the tip of his tongue along Chakotay's jawline.

"My point is, I'd rather not give the engineering crew a free show when they show up to find out why the lift is stuck, OK?"

"Good point." Tom released the commander from the wall and snaked a hand into his.

"Computer resume, deck three and step on it!"

********

"Janeway to Chakotay."

Pale fingers encased his wrist stopping his hand in mid motion as Tom pressed him harder into wall to beside the door. He had barely made inside the lieutenant's quarters before he had beset upon by those talented lips again.

"Don't answer it."

"I have to."

Tom shrugged his shoulders, let go his wrist and dropped down in front of him. Chakotay felt his erection released from his trousers as he hit his comm badge.

"Yes Captain."

As teeth and lips coursed up one side of his cock and then back down the other, the commander bit the inside of his cheek to keep from moaning.

"Can you meet me in my ready room?"

"Now?"

He reached a hand down intending stop the head at his groin but as he felt Tom's mouth begin to suck his now weeping penis, his hand retracted and placed itself flat against the wall behind him.

"Yes, and I know it's late but I won't be able to sleep tonight until I get this one last report finished. I promise it'll only take fifteen minutes tops."

Tom began to hum.

"Fine, Kathryn I'm on my way. Chakotay out."

Simultaneously the commander slapped the connection closed and lifted his hips from the wall thrusting in and out of the lieutenant's mouth.

"Oh yes Tom...oh yes. Oh yes!"

A hand stilled his hips as the pilot began working him in earnest. He felt teeth slide along the underside of his cock then nip at the head before drawn in again and again.

When he felt a finger flick the puckered opening of his ass, he came explosively. Tom let go of his hips allowing him to pump as the pilot swallowed every drop of his release. When the moment passed he slid down the wall bringing him eye level with an extremely self- satisfied looking blonde.

"You are too wicked, you do know that don't you?"

"Is that a complaint?"

"No, just a statement of fact." Chakotay grasped his now lover by the nape. "Now come here."

Tom expecting to receive a crushing kiss was startled when he felt soft lips on his brow. Chakotay released him and eyed the very evident bulge in his pants.

"I be back for that later. Wait for me?"

"Yeah, we'll both be here with bells on."

"Bells? That makes for a very interesting picture."

Tom rolled his eyes and helped the big guy to his feet. Chakotay put himself to rights and then hauled Tom into his arms for that previously expected crushing kiss before entering the corridor.

********

"Oh Chakotay."

Tom broke from his revelry to find himself stroking a very large hard- on through his trousers. He took his hand away from the now aching member hoping Chak would hurry his ass and get back here before he burst.

In an effort to distract himself from the torture below his waist, Tom decided on a shower. Yeah that's the ticket, he'd be all bright and shiny for his new lover, Chakotay. Tom laughed aloud as he made his way to the bedroom. All of the good looking men aboard Voyager he had ended up with the one person he didn't even think liked him very much to be his first male lover since prison. He was still trying to wrap his brain around that one when he heard the bedroom doors swish open behind him.

He never saw it coming. First there was a blinding pain as something hit him from behind and then there was only blackness.

********

The assailant leaned forward and felt for a pulse. It was there but it was thready, good he was still alive. Now it was time to deliver the message. Using the instrument of the blow itself the attacker traced out in the blood pooling around the young man's head four letters.

M - I - N - E

********

"How is he?"

The commander took his seat beside Tuvok slowly trying to give himself time to master his anger before answering the captain. When he was more or less settled in both body and mind he looked at her across her desk.

"Better. The EMH was able to stop the cranial bleeding before the pressure caused any permanent damage. He's sleeping now."

The captain's shoulders softened a moment in relief before straightening in her chair and directing her gaze at Commander Tuvok.

"Tuvok, what the hell happened?"

The security chief brought up the PADD he'd been holding in his hand and began to inform the captain of the status of his investigation thus far.

"Two hours ago, at approximately 20:15 Commander Chakotay found Lieutenant Paris in his quarters unconscious and bleeding from a wound at the base of his skull. The wound was not self inflicted nor was it accidental. It would seem that the lieutenant was struck from behind by an unknown assailant with an unidentified blunt object."

Nervous energy forced Kathryn to stand and lean over the back of her chair.

"An unknown assailant. Chakotay did Tom say anything to you in Sickbay about who it might have been?"

"No. After the Doc repaired the damage he sedated him. We never spoke."

"Tuvok what about entry logs. Who else was there?"

"During that time period the logs show only the lieutenant and the commander signatures. The attacker did not gain entrance to the cabin through the doors." Tuvok anticipated the captain's next question. "I also checked transporter logs for a possible site to site transfer with negative results."

"What about a personal transporter?"

"That is a possibility Commander. The schematics for such a device is in Voyager's data banks. Given the right materials, it would not take exceptional technical skills to build one."

The captain paced behind her chair, her patience wearing thin. She could deal with the violence of other worlds but to have it happened in her own world, on her ship, chilled her soul.

"If we don't know what Tom was hit with, who the culprit is or how he or she gained access to his quarters, what do we know Tuvok?"

"A great deal Captain if my theory is correct. For instance I believe the attacker is male."

Chakotay turned to Tuvok.

"How can you be so sure? Some of the females aboard ship are larger than their males counterparts, so strength or size couldn't be factor."

"That is true which is precisely why I didn't not explore that avenue of reasoning. I derived my hypothesis from reading the depositions taken from the patron's of Sandrine's and the available physical evidence."

Both Chakotay and Kathryn stifled a shudder. The "physical evidence" Tuvok was referring to was the solitary word written in Tom's blood. That one act cast a malevolent shadow over an already frightening incident. Tuvok took little notice of their discomfort and continued on.

"I believe the incident was an act of jealously sparked by the commander's sexual advances towards the lieutenant in Sandrine's earlier this evening."

Kathryn had read the reports too and while she was a little amazed at the behavior of her first officer, he was not the first person to pay Tom that kind of attention.

"Tuvok, Tom's had other relationships in the past that haven't caused this kind of turmoil, what's the difference?"

"The difference Captain is gender. Mr Paris' previous relationships have been with females. I suspect that the perpetrator has seen those liaisons as little or of no consequence but does not see one with another male as such. He is seen as a rival."

"So he sees me as a threat and attacks Tom to warn me off?" The commander shook his head in disbelief. "Tuvok that doesn't make any sense. Why would he hurt him if he wants him?"

"Sense has very little to do with it Commander. We are dealing with someone who perceives things differently than we do. In his mind he may feel that he and Tom share a connection, one that the lieutenant would be totally unaware of."

"So this would have to be somebody fairly close to Tom?"

"No not necessarily. They need not be friends but merely casual acquaintances. He could see a brief look of acknowledgment of passing in the corridor or an unconscious gesture in the messhall as a secret signal of affection from Tom meant only for him."

"So now he's punishing Tom for betraying this...this relationship he thinks they have?"

"Yes Captain I believe so."

Chakotay leaned forward with his hands white knuckling his knees.

"So how do we find him? Previous psyche evaluations?"

"I fear not as this type of ertomania consistently fails to be detected in standard Starfleet testing."

Tuvok was acutely aware that both the commander and the captain were expecting some form concrete action from him. He provided them with the only options available, limited though they were.

"For now while I continue my investigation I would recommend constant monitoring of the lieutenant's quarters and a security detail."

The captain ran a hand through her short cropped hair as she considered her security officer's recommendations.

"Very well Tuvok keep me informed. Chakotay please update Mr Paris on the facts of the investigation in the morning. Dismissed."

"Captain if I may. There is one other measure we might take to ensure the lieutenant's continued safety."

"One moment Chakotay. What is it Tuvok."

"I would recommend that the Commander not pursue a romantic relationship with Mr Paris until after the attacker is apprehended."

The same thought had crossed her own mind but she had been loath to say it out loud. She had no desire to issue commands regarding her first officer's love life no matter what the circumstance. His faced betrayed no emotion as she looked to him for understanding. He just nodded as he spoke.

"Agreed."

********

"Absolutely no fucking way Chakotay!"

After tracking the errant pilot from Sickbay to his quarters, he had found him relaxing on the lounge in his sleep pants. The commander sat next to him as he relayed the events of the previous night's meeting. Tom had listened quietly and calmly but when he had gotten to Tuvok's recommendations, he had flown from the couch in a fury. Chakotay went after him.

"Tom it won't be forever, just until we find the guy who hurt you, OK?"

"No Chak it's not OK!" Tom rounded on the commander, "I won't let some nutcase tell me who I can be with and who I can't." He threw a hand in the direction of the doors of his cabin. "And I won't have Tuvok's henchmen following me around every where I go!"

Damn him Chakotay thought as his concern for the willful young pilot translated into anger. Tom was acting like a spoilt child who didn't want to take his medicine no matter how good it was for him.

"Well I'm sorry but for the mean time you're just going to have to live with it!" The blue eyes looking into his brown ones darkened.

"Yeah but can you live with it Chakotay?" Tom's voice lowered as he loosened the drawstring of his pants and let them fall. "Or should I say without it?"

Not giving the man time to react, Tom curled a hand around the commander's neck and swiftly took his mouth. He used his lips and tongue as best as he knew how and used his other hand to grasp a wrist placing Chakotay's palm around his cock.

He released the big guy's lips but not his wrist and as he continued to masturbate using his lover's hand, he whispered.

"Take me."

"I can't."

"Yes you can." The wrist in his hand began to move by it own violation. "Gods, Chakotay you already are."

He heard a sharp intake of breath before shaking hands pulled him back. Tom watched as Chakotay stood before him and silently stripped the clothes from his magnificent body. The commander remained mute as he took him by the hand and he led him into his bedroom.

The sound of the bedroom doors swishing behind him caused him to flinch and his eyes to lower. He had been in here briefly to change earlier and had noted that the blood had cleaned from the carpet however he hadn't known about the writing then. The attack had been scary but the word MINE scrawled in "his" blood was downright creepy. Chakotay noticed his agitation and pulled up next to him.

"It's all gone Tom."

"Who?"

"Neelix. He came in after Tuvok was done."

"Oh."

Chakotay berated himself for even thinking of taking pleasure from the shell shock man beside him. Spirits, Tom didn't need this added complication in his life right now after being violated so brutally. He placed an arm around his waist and sat with him on the edge of the bed.

"I think right now you should get some rest. I'll check on you later to see how you're doing all right?"

The light came back on in the lieutenant's eyes. Tom reached out and slid a hand across the commander's smooth chest, testing the flesh of his nipples with his fingertips.

"I don't want you to go."

"I'll be back later I promise and we can talk, OK?"

The hand moved lower to Chakotay's semi-flaccid penis. He cradled it in his palm as if testing its weight and stroked it with his thumb. The bright eyes watched for the commander's reaction to the stimulus.

"You said that last time and looked what happened."

"If I hadn't been here at all nothing would have happened. I'm sorry but if he finds out, he may try to hurt you again."

"I don't care."

He didn't really. The effect of touching Chakotay was already pushing his fears to the back burner. It had been so long since he had felt such longing for anybody it totally overwhelmed his fear.

He needed this badly and the commander had to understand that.

"Chak stay with me just for a little while." His lips caressed the fine lines of the commander's tattoo. "Make me yours not his."

Realization dawned on the first officer. Tom needed him to feel safe, to wash away the taint and replace it with something clean. Besides if the attacker already knew he was here, he would probably assume they were having sex anyway. So denying Tom or quite frankly himself just this once wouldn't make any difference. He scooted up on the bed.

"Come here."

Tom turned and crawled his way up the commander. Stopping to kiss the inside of a dark skinned thigh, and a lick taut brown nipple before lying prone atop Chakotay's body. Thick fingers dug into his butt pulling him closer as teeth and lips alternately nipped and kissed him along his neck and shoulder.

"You taste so good."

Tom's head dipped down to lave the darken nipples.

"Mmm. Right back at you big guy."

Chakotay laughed turned Tom over sealing the smart mouth with his own. Using his dominant position he rubbed against the pale body beneath him creating a delicious friction. The feeling of the moisture from Tom penis spreading along his own caused his stomach to tremble. Tom began to moan and buck beneath him.

"Oh fuck Chak, you're killing me here." His eyes motioned to the right. "Top drawer, quick."

The commander not wanting to relinquish his contact with the lieutenant pulled him with him as he went for the lube. Tom got the idea and rolled with him. The problem was Chakotay wasn't expecting the maneuver and the momentum carried both the men over the edge of the bed landing in a heap on the carpet.

"Well that was graceful."

Tom looked into the commander's amused face as he laid on top of him and rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. Now do you think can you stop the colourful commentary and acrobatics long enough to fuck me?"

"Your wish is my command, master."

The next sound Tom heard was the popping of the lid of the vial Chakotay had amazing been able to retrieve during their tumble. He rolled the lieutenant over on his back and poured the musky scented oil into a pool on his belly. Using his fingers Chakotay swirled the oil around and over his nipples causing him to suck his breath between his teeth and his back to arch.

"More?"

"Yesss."

The slickness was spread down his belly, over his near bursting erection where eventually it was worked into the puckered opening of his ass. As fingers slid in and out, Chakotay mimicked the action with his tongue in his mouth. The heat was building in the base of his gut causing his penis to weep freely. If Chakotay didn't stop soon the show was going to be over before it started.

"Gods Chakotay fuck me." He spread his knees back as far he could. "Now dammit!" Chakotay pulled back and smiled.

"Yes master."

The commander stroked himself a few times with an oiled hand before leaning over and pushing between the cheeks of his lover's ass. He'd tried to go slow but one look at Tom's head thrown back in pleasure made it impossible and he began pumping frantically.

"Yes Chak, oh gods harder. Oh gods......."

The commander pounded into the screaming man watching as his seed spilled and listening to him as called his name in rapture. It was too much; Chakotay came hard shooting deep inside Tom. Rocking a few last times he pulled out and fell to his back beside his lover. They lied adjacent to each other on the carpet, gulping breaths of air.

When he had recovered enough the commander propped himself up on an elbow. He took the lieutenant's face in his hand and brushed his lips with his thumb. As those bright sparkling blue eyes gazed up at him he moved closer and whispered.

"Mine."

********

"Hey Mort what's up?"

Crewman Harren gave him a cursory glance before grabbing his utensils and heading for his usual table in the corner of the messhall. Tom kept talking anyway.

"I'm fine by the way." Harren ignored him and kept walking. "You know just in case you where wondering." Tom shrugged his shoulders and turned back to the buffet. It was not a pretty sight.

While spooning a particularly viscous pink dish on to his plate and hoping it wouldn't taste as bad as it looked, its culinary creator approached him.

"Good evening Tom."

"Hey Neelix."

"You OK?"

As he talked the colourful Talaxian filled Tom's plate. He was showing his concern by feeding him the lieutenant guessed.

"Ah I'm fine." Tom pulled his over flowing plate back from the Talaxian's reach. "Thanks for cleaning up my quarters. I really appreciated it."

Neelix waved off his thanks and put a hand on his arm.

"You're really OK?"

Tom gave him his sincerest smile. "Yeah I'm really OK." And he meant every word. His morning with Chakotay and gone a long way in quieting his fears and Chak's too he supposed. Tom had agreed to Tuvok's security measures and to, this was the hard part, keep his hands to himself until they nabbed the nutbar who hit him. Giving Neelix one last flash of his pearly whites, Tom went over to join Harry.

He carefully placed his over full plate down before sitting across from his best friend.

"Hungry?"

The smirk on the ensign's face told him that Harry had probably witnessed the whole "mother" Neelix scene. He poked at the mass on his plate.

"Yeah, I took an extra helping of Talaxian Concern. Want some?"

"Pass." The smirk faded. "So are you all right?"

Man this line was getting really tiresome. The lieutenant put down his fork and sighed in exasperation.

"Yes Harry, I'm "fine", I'm great, I'm fan fucking tastic."

The ensign fell back as if he had hit him. Tom kicked himself mentally. This wasn't Harry fault.

"Sorry Har. I guess I'm a bit jumpy but mostly I am fine." Still trying to get that kicked puppy look of the ensign's face, Tom indulged him in his favorite hobby, gossip. "So what's the buzz around the ship?" Harry's face beamed, it worked.

"Well the last thing I heard was that a jealous lover caught you and the commander last night...uh...uh." Harry looked down at his hands.

"Playing chess?"

"No."

"Dancing?"

"No."

"Calibrating tri-corders?"

"No!"

"How about fucking? Was that it Harry, someone came in and caught Chak and I doing the horizontal mambo?"

The ensign glared at him. "Yes, and then there was a big fight over you and you got hurt trying to break it up."

"You're kidding right, the commander fighting over me?"

"Well he was seen going into your cabin last night, not to mention him being there all this morning."

Tom had a real urge to tell Harry he'd got the fucking part backwards and the jealous lover was some crazed sicko but fought it. Tuvok thought it was better to keep the details of the attack confidential.

"You know Harry the commander could have just really been in my quarters playing chess this morning and last night. And as for my head, maybe I had one too many at the bar and slipped in the shower." He pushed his chair back. "I know it's not as exciting but it is a lot more plausible."

"Yeah but..."

Deciding on using up a few replicator credits on something more edible and eating in his cabin, Tom rose from his chair.

"See ya Harry."

As a flustered ensign watched two security guards follow Tom out of the messhall, he finished his sentence.

"...you don't know how to play chess."

********

3 hours 23 minutes. He leaned over his console and checked the log again. 3 hours 23 minutes. The sensors showed that for the majority of that time they had been in the sleep area and they had not been sleeping. It wasn't right.

Why had he not heeded his message? Why had he not believed? Did he need something else? Yes that was it. Perhaps something more personal, more romantic would work.

He switched off the computer to prepare.

********

"Computer kill alarm."

The computer complied with lieutenant's command and brought the ambient light level up 30 percent. Tom brought his arm's up over his eyes and moaned.

"Shit do you have to do that?"

"Affirmative, by order of Lieutenant Thomas Eugene Paris."

"Whatever." The pilot nestled down deeper in his bed and squeezed his eyes shut. "Well turn off the damn lights and wake me again in half an hour."

"Negative, by order of Lieutenant Thomas Eugene Paris."

The lights went up another 20 percent.

"Fuck."

One of these days he'd have to find this Thomas guy and kick his butt across the quadrant. Tired of fighting the inevitable, not to mention a taskmaster of a computer, Tom opened his eyes and sat up.

"It is now 07:15 hours."

"I'm up, I'm up, OK?"

He pulled the covers back and got out of bed. He was stretching the sleep out of his muscles when he saw it, a small holo disc sitting on his nightstand. It hadn't been there when he'd gone to bed last night, he was sure of it. He picked it and threaded through his fingers before activating it.

It was a perfect red rose. Chakotay, he thought and as smile started to form on his lips the image changed. The petals turned black and thorns became more pronounced. Tom dropped the disc and as it bounced on his bed, an audio file began to play, looping one word over and over,

M - I - N - E

*******

"Then what the hell happened, Tuvok?"

Tom plopped down on the lounge in the ready room beside Chakotay who unconsciously shifted towards him. From the corner of her desk where she was perched, the captain echoed her chief pilot's question but with a little more tact.

"Yes Tuvok, if the room was supposed to be monitored, why didn't the sensors pick up the transport of the disc into Tom's room?" 

Tuvok standing in the middle of the room turned to face his commanding officer.

"The sensors did pick up the transport, however the alarm was set for a bio-signature only."

Kathryn shook her head and threw her arms out in exasperation.

"Fine then what information did we gather about the transport?"

"The holo disc was beamed into the lieutenants quarters at 03:00 by an independent device which I've tracked to its source. It was as we suspected a personal transporter."

"You've found it?"

"Yes commander my security team found the device on the Observation Deck." And now for the bad news. "Unfortunately it had a preset timer so I am unable to determine when the device was placed."

"Meaning it could be one of how many people…" Tom looked to the security chief.

"47 crewmembers visited the deck yesterday."

"OK one of 47 different people who could have set it." He threw his arm back over the rear of the lounge, his fingers lightly resting at the nape of Chakotay's neck. "Which means we're right back where we started," He fought the urge to place his head on the commander's shoulder as he finished. "Absitively, posolutely no where."

The commander feeling the light caress at the back of his neck, folded his arms in an effort to prevent himself from pulling the distraught man beside him closer to his side. He racked his brain. They had to missing something but what.

"What about the hologram itself. Is there any significance to a dead rose?"

Tuvok went to his PADD. "Terran folklore describes the giving of dead flowers as a farewell or as a symbol of death. A withered flower may also mean despair."

"Great! So the guy either wants to kill me or maybe he's just having a really bad hair day." Tom's agitation caused him to move flush against the commander. "Well that makes me feel a whole lot better. 
Thanks Tuvok."

The captain could see the pilot trying to draw comfort from her first officer and she could also see how hard it was for Chakotay to not to openly give it. Their relationship was deepening fast. She wondered if the attacker knew how counter productive his actions were, that all he was doing was bringing these two men closer. She directed her concentration back to her security officer.

"What about the weapon? Are you any closer to finding out what it was?"

"The computer is still searching Voyager's databanks Captain, it will only be a matter of time before we discover the instrument of attack." Noting Mr Paris' rolling eyes he continued. "I have also instituted a data recovery program looking for any further use of the schematic files or of the use of the word "mine"." 

"Very well Tuvok keep me informed and please escort Mr Paris back to his quarters."

Tom disengaged himself from the commander to stand in front her. "With your permission Captain I'd like to complete my shift on the bridge."

"Not today Mr Paris, dismissed."

With one last glance back at Chakotay he left with Tuvok. Kathryn hopped off the edge of her desk to sit beside the commander on the lounge. She noted how his eyes followed the pilot's exit.

"He'll be all right."

"I know." Slowly he drew his eyes from the door to look at her. She saw all the fear, the hate and the love reflected in those ebony orbs. He turned his head to the stars whizzing by the viewport and continued.

"He has to be."

********

"Paris to Chakotay."

As he tapped the comm badge on the night table he noted the time on the chrono, 01:15. Fear made his throat tighten.

"Tom, is everything all right?"

"Yeah, I'm OK. Where are you?"

"I'm in bed trying to sleep, and you?"

"Ditto. So what are you wearing?"

"A sleep shirt. Why?"

"Beep wrong answer."

"Excuse me?"

"Ask me what I'm wearing."

"OK…what are you wearing?"

"Nothing but a smile and a hard on with your name on it."

"Tom, you know I can't come there."

"I know baby but you can cum there. Take off your shirt."

"Oh. It's off. What are you doing?"

"I'm licking my fingers and rubbing my nipples remembering your lips on them." *pause* "Mmm. Tell me Chakotay, tell me what you're doing."

"Thinking of those fingers, your long elegant fingers sliding down my back and that beautiful mouth on mine."

"Yes. I'm sucking that luscious lower lip, flicking my tongue into your wetness."

"Touch me Tom."

"My nails are scratching up your sides, across your chest and scraping your nipples."

"Yes and I'm tasting that glorious neck, feeling the softness of your hair with my face."

"I feel your warm breath on my face." *pause* "Oh baby, I'm slipping my fingers around your cock. Gods, you're so hot, so huge. Move for me baby."

"I am. Oh spirits."

"Tell me Chak, tell me."

"I slipping my hand around yours and bringing your cock against mine, oh…" *pause* "You're wet, my is thumb running over your head spreading the wetness over mine."

"Yesss that's good baby. I'm fucking your hand Chakotay, it's so good, so good. Can you feel me thrusting into your palm."

"Yesss. Oh, Tom I can't, I can't…"

"Pumping, pumping, oh fuck, I'm coming. Oh fuck I can't
stop…Chak!"

"Tom!"

Rustling bedcovers, soft cries and labored breathing evening out carry across the comm link.

"Chak?"

"I'm here Tom."

A few moments of silence pass.

"I miss you."

"I miss you too Poocuh."

********

"So can you play the "I miss you so much my eyelashes hurt" blues?"

Harry looked up from his plate. Not feeling like parading through the messhall today with his Tuvokian convoy, Tom had convince Harry to lunch in the ensign's quarter's, his treat.

"Tom if I play for you we won't have time to eat."

Tom swirled his spoon in his tomato soup playing with the congealing skin and thought, so who wanted to eat? 

"Right, right." So he if couldn't gain solace from the strains of Harry's clarinet, he have to do with talking. Not sure of his best friend's reaction to him mooning over another guy he tested the waters.

"Harry have you ever been with a man before?"

The ensign went as white as the bread on his chicken salad sandwich and took a big gulp of his milk before answering.

"You mean like sex?"

"Yeah."

"No."

OK, so he hadn't done it but that didn't mean maybe didn't want to try it.

"Have you ever thought about it then?"

"What do you mean?"

Harry was being obtuse. That's OK, Tom could play to that. He'd just keep talking and watched the man's reactions.

"I dunno, maybe when Gerron Tem walks by you in the messhall and looks at you with those pretty doe eyes of his, do you start feeling a little warm below the equator?"

"No." 

Strike one.

"OK what about when we're playing pool and Billy Telfer asks to use your stick? No stirring of the one eye trouser snake?"

"No, Tom."

Strike two.

"OK let's see who else? Oh I know. What about that guy from the Equinox. What's his name Noah, Noah Lessing, he's big black and beautiful."

"No Tom I don't want to sleep with Noah."

Strike three. 

Hell there had to be somebody that turned his crank. He'd figured at least one of the guys he mentioned would have something that would appeal to Harry. Tem had that little boy lost look to him, Billy would be a willing bottom and then there was Noah. Noah would be a definite on your knees and do me now kind of guy. What was left? Tom looked at his friend who was it seemed waiting for the next example. Realization hit him like a thunderbolt. Me? No, that couldn't be because he belonged to…. -

"Chakotay."

Gods, had he said that out loud? As he started to explain to Harry that they could only be just friends he saw the man's reaction to hearing the commander's name.

"We should go."

As Tom sat watching as the ensign furtively started to clear away their lunch dishes and put them back into the replicator, he realized it why they were such good friends. They liked the same things. Tom got up, rounded the table and got into the man's personal space.

"Harry, it's OK."

"Tom…"

"Look the way I see it is that you have good taste and I have good taste. There's nothing wrong in appreciating the same things, OK?"

"OK, can we go back to work now?"

He tried to look the man in the eye but the ensign refused and skirted around him to exit the cabin and headed out into the corridor.

"Yeah sure Har, what ever you want."

Not really feeling any better than he had when his lunch break started, Tom made his way to the holodeck to run some flight sims.

********

Something was wrong. 

All last night he listened to the comm channels. When heard his beloved's voice he had thought he was talking to him alone but the other one had been there too. The message had not been understood.

He didn't want to have to hurt but he was left with no choice. The message had to be understood. There was no other way.

It was his fault and he would fix it. He didn't want to hurt, he didn't, he didn't, he didn't but….he had to protect what was his.

I have to protect what is MINE.

******** 

"Kiss me tall, dark and gorgeous."

He leaned forward taking in the Mona Lisa smile and letting his fingers grace those killer dimples but stopping before his loneliness entirely overtook him, he stood back.

"You know, I think I'm falling in love with you."

The pale facsimile of his love continued to stare towards the viewscreen. 

"What? You're surprised? Well you and me both." Tom walked from the conn back to the command chair where his "commander" was sitting. 

"I did think it would happen but there you are." He fell to his knees before the holo character of the first officer knowing he wasn't real but saying the words anyway. "I love you Chakotay."

Taking his eyes away from the dull stare, Tom looked around the deck. Janeway, Tuvok, Harry and Samantha they were all there waiting in suspended animation for his command to come to life. Here he had control. Here he could command the characters to do his bidding but in the world outside these walls someone else controlled his life. Someone who told him who he could be with and who he could love. With effort he rose, went to his seat at the conn and stared at the viewscreen.

"Fuck you and fuck the horse you rode in on!"

Feeling a little better, he settled in his seat. He had four scenarios he wanted to run through before calling it a day and making it time for Neelix's dinner special. OK it wasn't something he didn't usually strive for but it was something that was still up to him.

"Computer, engage sim Paris Gamma Two."

"Acknowledged."

The program began to run. Vidian warships assailed him and he out maneuvered them. The Kazon Nistrum was defeated and he prevailed against the Borg. As Tom readied himself for the final simulation his comm badge went off. Somebody was requesting entrance to the holodeck.

"Computer freeze program and reveal arch." 

The heavy doors of the holodeck replaced the space where the turbo lift usually inhabited. Tom turned in his chair to face his interruption.

"Forgive me Lieutenant but I was instructed to bring this to your immediate attention."

Vorik walked down the slope around the command chairs to his position and handed him a PADD.

Not one of his favorite people after the pon farr incident with B'Elanna, Tom carefully avoided his touch as the Vulcan handed him the data PADD.

"Thank you Vorik."

"Thanks are unnecessary Lieutenant."

Before Tom had a chance to form a response to the somber crewmember, he turned and exited the holodeck. Tom shrugged his shoulders in dismissal as he turned his attention to the PADD in his hand.

When he pressed the play button on its panel the small screen went an almost luminescent black. Looking at the sparkling screen he was surprised to hear his own voice being emitted from the slim device in his hand.

"Computer engage sim Paris Gamma Five."

The lights dimmed and took on a crimson hue as the bridge went into red alert. The computer began to talk.

"Self destruct in 10 seconds, 9, 8, 7….."

Tom threw the PADD to the ground and spun in his seat. For a moment he tried to assess the main computer on his comm panel before reality hit him. He sat straight in his chair.

"Computer end simulation."

"Self destruct in 5 seconds, 4, 3….."

"Computer end simulation!"

White light and bright blue sparks blinded him as he fell to the deck. As numbness evaded his body and a searing he felt from the base of his spine to the nape of his caused him to convulse, his eyes locked on the forward viewscreen.

The stars were moving. In his blaze of pain he wasn't sure at first until they begun to coalesce into form. Before he lost consciousness they developed into characters and one word was burnt into his brain,

M - I - N - E

********

"Mr Paris will you please lie back down!"

"Yeah in a minute Doc." Tom swung his legs over the side of the biobed. The captain and Tuvok had just entered Sickbay. "Tuvok!"

The captain approached first and relief flooded her eyes. Tuvok kept a respectful distance behind her. Her voice was tight as she turned to the EMH. "You said he was dead."

"Correction Captain what I said was that Mr Paris had died." The captain's lips pursed and her eyebrows rose. She wasn't getting the difference. The EMH tried to explain. "He went into ventricular fibrillation and his heart stopped, so in effect he died. If hadn't been for Mr Tuvok's monitoring and Lieutenant Torres' spectacular skill with the transporter, I might not have had the time to resuscitate him."

Kathryn gripped the Doc's arm. "A word of advice Doctor. Next time start with the part about him being alive, got it." She squeezed a little harder in emphasis not caring that the EMH didn't experience pain.

"Ah, got it Captain." He humbly stepped back and disengaged his bicep from the captain's grasp before running his medical tri-corder over the lieutenant again. "Besides a mild enzyme imbalance Mr Paris will be fine. I would however like him to remain in Sickbay a few hours."

"Yeah Doc, whatever." Tom sat impatiently waiting for him to finish before addressing Tuvok again.

"Tuvok, it was a data PADD. It must still be on the holodeck."

"What data PADD Mr Paris?"

"I was almost done running my sims when Vorik came in and gave it to me and when I activated it, that's when all hell broke loose."

The security officer went over to one of his men standing at the door, spoke briefly to him and returned to Tom as the man left Sickbay.

"It would seem that the data PADD must have been the trigger that caused the explosion and disengaged the holodeck safeties." Tuvok paused. "Unlike the construction of the personal transporter, this clearly indicates we are dealing with someone with exceptional technical abilities."

"So that should eliminate alot of the 47 people who were on the Observation deck, right?"

As Tuvok agreed and bent his head to his own data PADD the doors to Sickbay swished opened. Commander Chakotay stood frozen at the entrance his eyes fixed on the lieutenant. He blinked twice before rushing across the room and pulling him off the bio-bed and into his arms. Tom fell into the embrace, burrowing his head in the commander's shoulder.

"They said you were dead."

Tom brought his head up and kissed the commander full on the lips before replying, a smirk graced his face.

"I got better."

Chakotay tried to still his beating heart with few deep breaths as his hands came up to frame the face of the man who was quickly becoming his whole world.

"I can see that Poocuh." He smiled in return and his dimples blossomed.

With one last soft kiss to the lieutenant's upturned lips he turned to the security chief. He slipped his arm around Tom's waist, keeping a tight hold on him as he spoke. His voice was hard.

"Tuvok, I want to know who did this, and I want to know now."

Tuvok perceived the commander's anger, and although he did not feel it, he understood it. He too would demand answers if one of his family members were similarly threatened.

"I have commander compiled a short list of possible suspects who excel in the technical field and with his permission would like Mr Paris' reaction to them."

Tom shifted, tucking his shoulder under Chakotay's. "OK, shoot."

"Crewman Mortimer Harren."

"Well I've talked "at" him once or twice but he doesn't really pay me too much attention."

"Vorik."

"Now that's one guy that gives me the willies. I think he likes to watch me."

"Explain."

"Well when ever I see him, whether it's in the messhall or on the holodeck he's already looking at me. And when I look away sometimes I can almost feel his eyes on me, still watching."

"Fascinating." Tuvok made a note on his PADD. "Ensign Tabor."

"Tabor?"

"Yes his creation of Xenobiologist Crell Moset demonstrated that he has both extensive holo skills and a deep unresolved anger."

"Hell Tuvok you would too if you were asked to create the Cardassian that killed your grandfather." Tom shook his head. "No, no I don't think it's him."

"Very well." He made another notation. "Crewman Kenneth Dalby."

The lieutenant made a whistling sound. "Now there's one guy that really has a hard on for me." One of Tuvok's elegant eyebrows rose. "But I'm pretty sure he'd rather just pound his fists into me rather than anything else." He looked Tuvok straight in the eye. "You know what I mean?"

"Yes Lieutenant I believe I do."

Chakotay looked over at the captain who shrugged her shoulders and shook her head. It seemed that this was the first time she'd heard about Dalby's animosity towards Tom too. His hand went to Tom's chin.

"Has he hurt you before?"

Tom almost melted from the concern in the big guy's eyes. He took the hand from his chin and placed a gentle kiss in its palm.

"Yeah Chak but that was a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away." The commander wasn't mollified. "Look, I know the guy hates me but really he hasn't laid a finger on me in a very long time. So forget about it OK?"

He wouldn't but now wasn't the time for settling scores, he'd make time for that bastard later. He let his features harden again as he turned back to Tuvok.

"Who else?"

"Ensign Baytart."

"Pablo? Naw Tuvok the guy wants my job, not my body. Next."

"Icheb."

"Oh come on, he's just a kid and besides were buds. I help him out with astrometrics when Seven's busy that's all."

"I might remind you Mr Paris that Icheb is an adolescent not a child and he would be experiencing the pangs of puberty at this stage in his development. Combine that with his giving of his cortical implant to Seven, his behavior could become erratic."

"Yeah maybe but I don't think so. He's a good kid Tuvok."

"Very well." The security officer came to last name on his list. It was a name that because of sentiment he had almost left off but his training had convinced him otherwise. This man had both the opportunity and the skill to execute a sophisticated holo program such as the lieutenant had experienced. He braced himself for Tom's outrage.

"Ensign Kim."

"Harry?" Chorused the three officers in Sickbay. The lieutenant began to laugh, drawing stares from the other two and Tuvok as well.

"No way Tuvok, not Harry." Tom took in the faces around him. The captain was appalled, Chak was sympathetic and Tuvok, well Tuvok was Tuvok, all impassive and Vulcan like.

"No really it couldn't be Harry." The faces didn't change so he tried to explain. "Look I know he's smart enough and he does like me, hell he's my best friend but he doesn't like me in that way."

Tuvok found his voice first. "You cannot be certain of the nature of the ensign's feelings towards you."

"Yeah Tuvok I can." Not wanting to betray a confidence but seeing no other way he went on. "You see he's kinda in lust with someone else."

"Who?" This time it was the commander who spoke.

"You big guy."

"Me?" Tom sidled up closer to his stunned lover.

"Yeah he sorta told me the other day. He doesn't want to admit it and I don't think he plans to do anything about it, but there it is." He ran a finger down the front of the commander's uniform. 
Chakotay reached out and stopped it as it reached his waistline. 
"You're sure Poocuh?"

Tom licked his tattoo. "Yeah baby you're making them pant all the way from Ops to Conn."

The captain broke out the daze caused by watching her chief pilot seducing her first officer right in front of her. "I think that's just a little too much information for me, thank you Lieutenant." She dragged her concentration back to Tuvok and the matter at hand. "What's next? Mind melds?"

"No Captain. That would be a little too invasive right now. The evidence against these men is purely speculative."

"Very well continue with your investigation as you see fit and keep me informed." She turned back to the two men who were still glued at the hip making a quite an erotic spectacle of themselves. "Chakotay make sure Tom gets back to his quarters safely and then meet me in my ready room."

As Chakotay unsuccessfully grabbed at a pale hand that slipped under his jacket he replied, "Yes Captain I'll be there in ten." 

Trying to keep her gaze at eye level and not at the growing bulge in Tom's trousers, Kathryn waved a hand out to the commander. "Make it thirty." The response however when it came, came from the lieutenant.

"Yes Ma'am!"

********

"Faster!"

Not really needing to be told but enjoying the entreaty anyway, Chakotay accelerated the pistoning of his hips. Watching his cock slipping in and out of the tight hole of Tom's ass was already causing him to drive towards a quick completion as it was.

"Oh fuck Chak, faster…faster…"

Tom was close which was good because he didn't think he could hold out much longer himself. He reached around and grasped his lover's cock and timed his thrusts in unison with his stroking of the weeping 
member.

"Oh gods that's good, baby. So good, so good...."

As Chakotay's orgasm began, he pumped all his fear, worry and love into the man before him. Tom's cries became intelligible as he roared his release and it wasn't long before the commander felt the warmth of semen in his hand. Chak fell forward on his lover's back fighting the blackness that ringed his consciousness.

Tom straightened his knees and brought the commander down to lay beside him. He nestled back relishing the feel of the big body behind him and waited for Chakotay to wake. As he began to float into oblivion himself, soft kisses at his nape signaled his lover's return to consciousness.

"Oh spirits, I love you Poocuh."

"I love you too baby." Tom turned to lie on his back. He brushed Chakotay's mouth with his fingertips. "Chak, why did you wait so long?"

The commander's mouth quirked in amusement. "I went as fast as I could Poocuh. I promise."

"No, I mean why did you wait so long to love me?"

Chakotay took Tom's hand from his face and brought it to his chest as the vulnerability in the man's voice touched his soul. How did he answer a question that even he didn't know the answer to?

He remembered seeing the brash young man again on Voyager's bridge all those years ago. Back then all he had wanted to do was throttle him but when that passion had changed from infuriation to infatuation, he didn't quite know. 

Was it a year or was it two? It just seemed one day he woke up and started noticing the way Tom smiled or laughed. It was then he knew he was falling in love and as he saw the pilot use those same charms to cope or to help others to do so in times of desperation or strife, he fell deeper. So no he hadn't waited very long to love Tom; he had just waited a long time to tell him that he had.

"Actually baby I don't think I waited very long at all."

"Where I come from Chak, six years, two months and 23 days is along time."

"Oh believe me baby I was head over heels long before that. You had me years ago you know."

"Really?"

"Yes really but it wasn't until that night in Sandrine's playing pool that I felt brave enough to do anything about it though."

Tom lay back, closed his eyes and considered Chakotay's words. He had been terrified that it was the recent situation that had caused the man to be so kind to him. He'd read about people who came closer together when they shared a traumatic experience. He'd also read those feelings tended to dissipate after the crisis had passed but maybe that wouldn't happen here. If Chak loved him before this fiasco had started it was possible that he would love him when it was over. Tom letting his fatalism seep through his reasoning thought yeah, if he was still alive when it was finally over that is.

"What about you Poocuh? Do you know when did it happened for you?"

Tom laughed softly, hugged Chakotay to him and touched his forehead to his. When his blue eyes were staring deep into those ebony ones he answered.

"Yes."

"When?"

"When you said hello."

********

He sat on the lounge in his darkened quarters rocking the instrument of his first message to his chest, his fingers trailing over the crusted blood was still evident on its bore. He was hardly aware as he brought his hand to his mouth smearing the residue over his teeth and gums.

He couldn't use the computers anymore. They would be watching for that now but it didn't matter. He didn't need the comm system anymore to know they would be together. They would be. He had failed but he would not fail alone.

If he could not have his love, it was still possible to take it from the other. He stood up wiping his hand across his chest, marring the gold of his uniform. It was time for a sacrifice. He knew what he had to do. 

This would be the end. And in the end, he stood letting the clarinet fall to the floor, he still would be,

M - I - N - E


Author's note: I stole a quote from "Jerry Maguire" that I have always loved and always wanted to use so please excuse my indulgence, I still love our Tom better than the other one.

"Good Morning Chakotay."

Chakotay seated himself across from the captain on the lounge in her ready room. Kathryn poured him a cup of tea from the pot on the low table and gave him a weary smile. She looked as about tired as he felt. Last night they had discussed theories and motives late into the night, without coming to any definite conclusions. However Chakotay suspected that after he had left to go home to Tom, she had stayed in her ready room reading psyche journals and case studies into the early morning hours. And although his heart was warmed knowing she took Tom's attack as a personal blow and wouldn't rest until it was resolved one way or another; he wouldn't let it destroy her. 

He took the offered cup and made a show of taking in her appearance. "Hell Kathryn you look like shit."

She folded her knees under her and gave him an incredulous look.

"Oooh I bet you say that to all the girls." She picked up the data PADD next to the teapot.

"Did you even sleep?"

"Some." She waved off any further questions. "I've been reading an article on social isolation."

"Why?"

She punched up an essay on the small screen before handing it over to the commander.

"Because it's Voyager in a nutshell. We're cut off from everything and anything we've ever known. We're alone here in the Delta quadrant." She leaned over and pointed to a paragraph. "See there it says that some individuals can develop an altered state of wellness. They have increased anxiety, inability to engage in satisfying personal relationships and then there's the last part." 

Chakotay's eyes skipped to the place in the script where her finger was and read aloud. 

"Delusional thinking."

Her voice was a whisper. "Yes." She sat back, brought her knees up and hugged them to her chest. "Why didn't we see this Chakotay?" Her eyes misted, something that would have not have usually happened if she'd been rested and not so distraught. "We should have known. It was only a matter of time before something like this happened." She looked out the viewport. "My god Chakotay I should have known."

He put the PADD and his cup on the table and for the first time since "New Earth" he pulled her into his arms.

"No Kathryn you couldn't have. None us of could have." He stroked her hair and talked softly into her ear. "Aberrations happen despite our best efforts. There wasn't anything you could have done to prevent this. There is no one to blame here."

She straightened in his arms and looked him full in the face. The commander was a noble and compassionate man and she cursed whatever gods there were that the sparks of passion had never flared between 
them. Everything would have been so different, but then again if it had; she would never be sitting here in his arms cursing them in the first place. The irony of the situation sobered her and she returned to her corner of the lounge.

"So what do we have then?" With pinched fingers she wiped the traces of tears from the corners of her eyes. "Cliché messages, a dead rose and holodeck programs from hell."

"A black rose."

"What?"

"It wasn't a dead flower, it was a black one." Chakotay felt something niggle at the back of his brain. "Tuvok was looking for the significance of a dead rose in Terran customs not a black one."

Despite her earlier relapse, Janeway's mind quickly fell in step with 
his.

"Computer what's the Terran definition of giving black flowers?"

The answer when it came was it was not reassuring. "Death."

Not discouraged Kathryn sat up squared her shoulders, reclaiming the demeanor that was usually hers as captain and rephrased her question.

"Computer of the races aboard Voyager how many hold a cultural reference pertaining to black flowers?"

"Three."

"What are those cultures?"

In an impersonal voice the computer answered.

"The Terran homeworld of Earth, the Andorians of the Epsilon Indii system and Dorvan V on the Cardassian frontier."

Hearing the name of his home planet, Chakotay bolted forward on his seat.

"What is the significance on Dorvan V?"

"Trust."

He mouthed the word silently. He remembered the black fields outside his settlement. They were poppies not roses but their fragrance had been equally sweet. After settling on the planet 25 years ago the new residents had seen the flowers that had blanketed their new home as a sign of the Federation's promise to them. A sign of respect, of reverence and of trust. Images of his father, of his home and of ultimately of the fight that had lead him here to this point flooded his brain. Kathryn broke through his meandering with a single word.

"You."

"What?"

She shifted closer to him on the lounge. "Don't you get it? It's not Tom he wants but you."

Yes that was the part that finally fit. Everything began to gel together. Tom was hurt because Tom didn't matter. He was the one that was supposed to see, that was supposed to understand. Chakotay feeling the urge to do something but not sure what, leapt from his seat on the lounge as Kathryn took command.

"Computer location of Harry Kim."

"Ensign Kim is in his quarters."

She looked to the commander. If it been a regular day, a regular duty shift she'd know where Tom was. He saw the unspoken question before she voiced it.

"He's doing the maintenance run on the Delta Flyer." He spoke to the air in front of him. "B'Elanna checked it out twice before I let him go. He's out there alone."

The captain nodded. Alone was good. She addressed herself to the comm system.

"Janeway to Tuvok."

"Tuvok here."

"Send a security team to Ensign Kim's quarters and meet me there."

"Acknowledged. Tuvok out."

********

"Shit, Harry!"

Tom turned in his seat in the Flyer's cockpit and addressed his best friend.

"Give a guy a little warning when you sneak up like that."

The ensign took his place at Ops and looked dead pan at the less than pleased lieutenant.

"I wasn't sneaking."

Tom waved him away and gave the all clear to docking control as he maneuvered the Delta Flyer out of the bay. He had been really looking forward to this maintenance run as a way to get a hold on his feelings for Chakotay, which were by the way running out of control like a M5 computer, but leave it to Tuvok to find a subtle way of baby-sitting him. Tom smiled. He should have known that Tuvok, a Vulcan who could lie his way into the Maquis without ever doing what he considered technically lying, would find a way to keep an eye on him even after the lieutenant had dismissed his security team. He directed the Flyer into a parallel flight path with Voyager before turning to his unexpected co-pilot.

"So what did he promise you?" Even thought the Flyer was following its pre-laid flight plan, Tom made a few minor manual adjustments on the "retro" controls. "Extra replicator credits for making sure I don't get into trouble?"

"Who?"

"Tuvok." When he was done manipulating the trajectory to his satisfaction, he turned to his friend. "It's OK Har, I'm not mad."

"I'm not here for Tuvok."

Oh, Tom thought. It was Chakotay then who was making sure he got home in time for lunch.

"It's because of Chak then, right?'

"Yes."

Harry got up from his chair at Ops and moved down the slope to the forward Comm station. He came so close to Tom, invading his private space that the lieutenant could feel his breath on his face. As he discerned that that the ensign probably had too much garlic in his last meal he felt a burning pain in his side. His hand by reflex flew to the pain and when he felt the warm wetness there, he looked down to see the protruding of a simple dinner knife in his side and a watery redness on his fingertips.

"I'm sorry Tom."

The lieutenant watched as Harry collapsed on the slope and brought his knees to his chest. The ensign's hand ran over his face, smearing a dark substance over his cheeks and mouth. Tom wondered for a moment why Harry's face looked almost altered before he realized why, it was the blood, his blood that made it appear that the contour's of the ensign's face had changed.

"Harry?"

"Yes Tom."

The pilot watched as the hilt of the knife moved with each intake of his breath and thought abstractly why doesn't Harry see this? Why doesn't he stop the pain and help me.

"I'm think I'm hurt."

"Yes you are."

The calmness in his friend's voice scared him. It was then that things began to connect in his mind. No, not Harry, it couldn't be Harry. 

"Why?"

Harry's gaze never faltered, he looked straight head into the incoming starfield on the Flyer's viewport. The eyes were blank and his mouth moved in semblance of an automaton.

"I didn't want to."

Tom racked his brain for things to say but what to you say to your best friend after his stabs you because he covets your lover. 

"Fine." As flash of blackness assailed him he slipped from his chair to falling to the floor leaning against the seat of the comm chair. He sucked his breath between his teeth. "So tell me," He tried to get his legs in more comfortable position. "Are you pissed because I'm fucking Chakotay or because Chakotay's fucking me?"

"He doesn't love you."

Beep wrong answer. Any leverage he had in this situation just went out the window because for once he was on the wrong side of the fence. He was the rival not the prey. So now what did he do, back off?

"I know Harry."

Harry's fist went to his mouth. His knuckles spread blood across the grim straight lined expression of his mouth. When he spoke it spread along his teeth giving them a pink hue in the dim lights of the Flyer.

"He touches you."

"Yes."

"How?"

How? Tom not knowing whether lying or telling the truth would make Harry any more unstable, went with the easiest route, the truth because frankly it was a little difficult to come with convincing lies with a butter knife in your gut. He brought his tone down a level.

"He touches me with care, with love."

"I said he doesn't love you."

"Right. I just mean its soft and gentle."

"Tell me what he does Tom."

"Well he kisses me."

"And?"

"He touches me." Before he got another "and" Tom continued. "It feels good."

"Does he, does he…."

Oh god he must be getting delirious because he could almost imagine they were sitting in the messhall having this conversation.

"Yes Harry he takes me."

Tom heard a sigh escape the ensign's lips and when he looked over at him, causing another stab of pain, there were tears in his eyes.

"He does love you then."

"Maybe."

Shit Tom thought, he was starting to see flashing stars in the blackness now too and he wasn't looking out the viewport like Harry. As the pain receded a bit and his vision cleared he realized the blinking light wasn't in his head but was coming from his cockpit console. Voyager was trying to contact them but the audio had been turned off. Tom tried to lift his arm to respond to the hail but found the limb was no longer answering the impulses from his brain. He was going to have to get Harry do it.

"Har, Voyager's hailing us."

"Are they?"

"Yeah, you think you could answer them?"

"Not yet."

"Harry I need help." He peered at the man and tried unsuccessfully to catch his eye. "I think we both need help."

"That's not what I need." Slowly the ensign's head turned to the lieutenant. "You took what I need and now I'm taking it from you."

Tom recoiled from the hate in those eyes and knew appealing to the man's sense of logic wasn't going to work. Harry was too far gone in his dream world where Chakotay belonged solely to him. So seeing no other choice, Tom left his and entered that world before he bled to death and existed in neither.

"Harry I told him how you feel. He knows now."

That got his attention. Harry grabbed the lieutenant by the biceps, eliciting a yelp from the bleeding man.

"He does?"

"Yes and if he wants you, I'll be a man about it and let him go."

"Why would you do that?"

"Cause you're my friend Harry and I'd do anything for you."

"You just want me to answer the hail."

"Yeah, I want that too." Tom tried to put all the sincerity he had into the only part of him that still worked, his eyes. "Please Harry be my friend. I promise I'll let Chak go. Please."

The ensign rose and walked back to the Ops station.

"You promise?"

"Yes."

"OK."

Harry's assent was the last thing Tom heard before he passed out.

********

"Captain their shields are down."

Kathryn leapt from her chair and twirled to face her security chief.

"Beam them to Sickbay Tuvok now!"

********

"He hit me with his clarinet?"

"Yes they found it beside his comm badge in his quarters. It still had your blood on it."

As Tom shuddered and brought the covers up under his chin, Chakotay hugged him closer. The Doc after healing the pilot's wound and transfusing him with blood had begrudgingly allowed him to finish recuperating in Chakotay's quarters. The commander had just returned from a briefing with the captain and was now lying beside Tom on top of the covers on his bed.

"Where's he now?"

"In Sickbay sleeping. The Doc performed surgery to repair his flawed neural circuits so there should be no reoccurrence of his schizophrenia."

"His what?"

"Schizophrenia. It's a rare psychotic disorder that develops in the brain at the fetal stage. It's usually detected at birth but in Harry's case it was latent and didn't appear before now."

"He's OK then?"

Chakotay kissed the top of his golden head. "Yeah with a little therapy he'll be fine at back at his post in no time."

"Good. Are you coming to bed?"

"Soon Poocuh. I have a few reports that need tending first. Why don't you get some sleep, I won't be long."

"I'm not tired." His hand appeared out from under the covers to play with the fastenings of the commander's trousers. "And I need tending too." Within seconds the talented fingers had opened the front and were toying with his hardening erection.

Chakotay moaned. It felt so good to have his love here in his bed touching him. It was hard to believe that it was only a few hours ago that he thought he'd never be able to feel this joy again. Letting Tom play, he stripped off his jacket and undershirt.

"What about your reports?"

Chakotay kicked off his shoes and removed the rest of his clothing before turning to the wanton beside him.

"Fuck the reports!"

"Well I would rather you fucked me but…" He stopped when Chakotay tore the blankets from the bed revealing his nude body.

Gentle hands coursed down his body almost reverently. The commander leaned forward and kissed the place where the knife had gone in under his ribs. He eyes came up to Tom's and his mouth opened.

"Don't you dare even ask Chak. I'm fine just along as you keep on doing what you're doing, OK?"

"OK Poocuh." Tom felt the commander's breath on his belly as he spoke. A tongue trailed down further dipping into his navel flicking it a few times before moving on. Chak had never gone down on him before and he trembled in anticipation.

Feeling those full lips, so ripe for fucking, encase the head of his penis, caused his to hips involuntarily buck up off the mattress. Broad palms steadied him as he was sucked deeper into the bliss that was his lover's mouth until his hilt was reach and he could go no further. Chakotay swallowed and hummed sending bolts of pure pleasure up his spine.

"Oh my god Chakotay!" Then the commander began to bob his head. "Oh - my - fucking - goddddd!"

Four, three, two one, blast off! As Tom came explosively, Chakotay brought his lips up to his and with his hand pumped him into oblivion. The commander spread his issue over his own penis and down into the crack of his ass. Tom spread his legs in preparation.

"Now Lieutenant are you ready to be fucked?"

"Aye, aye Commander. Engage!"

Chakotay slipped a pillow under his hips before levering up on his hands. Tom reached down and guided the slick cock into his ass. When it popped his puckered ring he lay back and clutched the sheets. The commander moved forward wasting no time in engulfing his shaft in his silken tunnel. Tom watched his thrusting thinking he had never seen anything so beautiful, so erotic as the man he loved taking pleasure in his body.

"Oh Tom, oh…."

With enough force to make his teeth rattle Chakotay pushed forward one last time before climaxing and roaring aloud in abandon. Tom carefully guided the sweating body above him down to lay at his side as the commander blacked out.

He loved this part. This waiting and watching over his beloved until he was himself again. It gave him a felling of self-empowerment to have this chance to protect his protector. It didn't matter that there was no real danger, it just felt good to be the one in control for a change. Tom felt limbs tightening around his torso.

"Gods Poocuh do you know how much I love you?"

"Yeah baby I do."

"And you? Do you love me?"

Tom carded his fingers through the short dark hair liking the way it spiked up all sexy like. He gazed in the ebony orbs of the man that was his everything.

"I love you Chakotay." Kissed the full dark lips. "And I promise you that I will be forever and always,

Y - O - U - R - S."


THE END.