Room Mates 

by Cheryl Forbes

E-mail Address for feedback: forbesc@skyia.com

Disclaimer: Voyager and her crew are the property of Paramount and not me. Whatever.

Summary: Unexpected passengers force the crew of Voyager to share quarters creating some interesting bedfellows.

"Any questions?"

The previous day Voyager had come across a seemingly dead ship. After scanning it, they found while the engine core was dead the rest of the ship was not. Sustaining themselves on breathing units, since life support was out, were 47 passengers. They called themselves Mikans and the ship they were aboard was pleasure vessel that had been savagely attacked by pirates. After killing the command crew, the rouges had divested the passengers of their valuables and left them to die. They had been adrift a day when Voyager picked up their distress beacon, and had transferred them shipboard.

"Yeah, Captain I have a question."

"What is it Mr. Paris?"

"It's going take two weeks to return these people to their home planet, right? Well, where are we going put them all during that time?"

The captain picked the PADD that had been sitting in front of her on the conference table. She knew some of the people in this room weren't going to like her answer.

"Good question Lieutenant. We're going to double up. Everyone has just acquired a roommate."

This time Harry Kim's hand came up. He would probably request Tom Paris as a roomy. He was about to be disappointed.

"Captain. So that means we all have to pair up and choose someone to share quarters with."

"I'm sorry Ensign but in the absence of time I have already selected the pairs. You'll share a cabin with the person next closest in rank to you. For instance, Mr. Tuvok and I will be bunking together and so on. I will post the list on the comm channel after I make my ship wide announcement." 

She looked around the conference table and saw all eyes straining to read the PADD in her hand. She placed back down on the table and folded her hands.

"It'll will only be two weeks people and during that time I hope to see you all doing your best to make our temporary passengers feel at home. Dismissed."

********

Shit, shit, shit. Tom shifted the duffel bag on his shoulder. Of all times to get his pip back. If he was still an ensign he would have probably been rooming with Harry but as he was a lieutenant again, that meant sharing a cabin with Commander Chakotay. Shit, shit, shit.

Over the last six years they have developed a marginally good working relationship but as a rule avoided each other in social situations. The past still hung between them preventing a more affable relationship and still threatening their professional one. Neither man was willing to push that particular envelope.

Tom arrived at the commander's door and before he touched the pad to press the chime, the door opened automatically. The door had already been keyed to accept his bio-signature. Oooh, the ever-vigilant first officer strikes again. He squared his shoulders, took a deep breath and entered.

"Uh, Commander?"

No answer. He put down his pack, sat on the lounge and scanned the room. It was ordered and neat, everything in its place, just like the man. Tom chuckled to himself. He'd have to break the big guy of that disgusting habit. He swung his legs up, rested them on the low table before him and took a second look around. Brightly coloured rugs adorned the walls. Family photos and small wooden sculptures were displayed on shelves. Tom found it difficult to connect the warmth of the décor with the man he knew. 

In Tom's opinion, the commander saw everything as either black or white, good or bad. No gray areas for the first officer. You were either a good little soldier or a screw up and Tom knew which category he'd been placed in. His cold demeanor towards him said it all.

Shrugging his shoulders, Tom got up and proceeded into the bedroom to unpack. He'd deal with Chakotay the way he always did, by pushing his buttons and acting as if he didn't give a fuck what the man thought of him. Because he didn't really, did he? Maybe a little but that's definitely all. 

Still arguing with himself, Tom put away his things. 

********

"Computer, location of Lieutenant Paris?"

"Lieutenant Paris is in his quarters."

OK but does that mean Tom is in his old quarters or mine? He leaned back in his chair in his office and ran his fingers through his hair. Frustrated Chakotay asked again.

"Computer, is anyone in my quarters?"

"Affirmative."

Damn computer!

"Computer, who is in my quarters?"

"Lieutenant Thomas Paris."

Finally! He knew he shouldn't be so exasperated with the computer but the idea of having the blonde blue eyed pilot sharing a cabin with him was just a little upsetting. No it was a lot upsetting. The man had already invaded his private thoughts and now he was invading his private space. He wondered what spirits he had offended to deserve this.

He had lusted after the lieutenant ever since he had seen him in that seedy bar on that backwater planet but he had not acted on that lust. There had been no time, the Federation had captured Tom before an opportunity to take him to his bed had arisen. And then there was the fiasco in the Badlands. 

It had been a shock to see him again on Voyager but even through his anger at the man's betrayal, Chakotay found he still wanted him. Unfortunately Tom's flippant and often cutting remarks had made it clear that those feelings were not returned. So his pride had force him to hide his emotions and project an air of indifference when around him. However in the privacy of his cabin he let loose his desires through his fantasies. Many a night he lay in bed bringing himself to completion thinking of that slender form against his.

Now the object of his desire would be sharing his bed. Well not exactly his bed, a cot had been set up beside it, but it was close enough. Close enough to see him, smell him and worse close enough to touch him. Spirits, he was getting hard just sitting here thinking about it. So stop thinking about it, Chakotay!

He sat forward and began reviewing one of the endless reports on his console. He figured he could stay late enough in his office until Tom went to sleep and tomorrow he could be up and gone before he woke. On the bridge with others around he could maintain his decorum but in the intimacy of his quarters, he was afraid of letting something slip. He couldn't risk making Tom aware of the hold he had over him. His rejection would damage both Voyager's command structure and maybe more importantly he admitted, his ego. He would not, could not let that happen.

The commander winced as he realized he'd be eating Nelix's cooking for the next while to save the extra credits he'd require for cold showers and his boxing program on the holodeck. He would need both to relieve the sexual tension he was sure he'd be feeling. Talk about adding insult to injury. He lifted his eyes skyward.

He really must have done something really awful to piss the spirits off this much.

********

Tom finally found himself a table in the messhall and waited for Harry to join him. It wasn't an easy task considering how many of the Mikans filled the room. They loved Nelix's cooking and seemed to spend most of their time on Voyager in the messhall. Tom looked down at the riot of smells and colours on his own plate and cringed. Well I guess there no accounting for taste. He was poking the pulsating blue concoction with his fork when Harry joined him.

"Are you going to eat it or play with it?"

"I'm just making sure it's dead and not going to jump off my plate and go for my jugular." Tom replaced his wary look with one of his famous smiles. "Speaking of going for the jugular, how's the new roomy?"

"B'Elanna? Well she let me sleep "in" the cabin last night." He leaned forward and looked accusingly at Tom. "You know you could have told me she liked to walk her around her quarters nude!"

Tom choked back a laugh and looked at Harry with all the seriousness he could muster.

"Sorry Har, but I didn't think it was that important. B'el doesn't usually care who sees her naked." He feigned disbelief. "Gods Harry tell me you didn't make a move on her."

"Are you kidding? I like all my parts where they are. It's just that I wasn't expecting her to walk out of the bedroom without her clothes and see her…her…you know..."

"Breasts, Harry. They're called breasts."

"Yeah whatever. Anyway I was crossing the room at the time and didn't see the chair, tripped and grabbed the closest thing I could to break my fall."

Oh this was just too funny. Tom could barely keep a straight face.

"Gods Harry. Please tell me you didn't."

"Yeah I did and I think it cracked."

Cracked? B'Elanna was pretty solid but she wasn't that rigid. Tom didn't have to fake disbelief this time.

"Harry, you lost me there. What exactly did you crack?"

"Her Bat'leth. It was hanging on the wall beside me. I didn't mean to knock it off the wall. I even tried catching it but it went flying and hit the table." Harry's voice rose an octave. "I tried telling her I was sorry and that it was an accident but before I had a chance to say anything she threw me out. When I tried getting back in, I found she'd used her command code to lock me out."

Tom was laughing openly now. Poor Harry. When it came to women the guy just couldn't catch a break.

"Oh sure laugh it up smart guy. You're not the one that had to grovel for the last four days just to be able to sleep on a less than comfortable lounge in what's supposed to be your quarters too."

"Oh Harry, I'm sorry. It's just that seeing someone else being the focus of that woman's temper is oddly refreshing. Before we broke up, I'd did my share of groveling too before I realized it wasn't worth the bother. I sympathize Har, I really do."

At his words, Ensign Kim blushed.

"Well it really isn't too bad. Last night before we went to sleep we listened to some Klingon opera. It was kinda nice. You know what I mean, when she starts singing along, letting the song carry her away and she gets that faraway look on her face. She made me really feel the music."

No he didn't know. Whenever B'el played that awful racket she called music, he always found an excuse to be some where else. Harry's response to it surprised him. No it absolutely amazed him.

"Well enough about my roomy, how about yours? What's it like bunking with Voyager's resident icon of inflexibility?"

"Not too bad really. I mean I never see the guy unless were on bridge duty together."

Tom thought about it. It was like living with a ghost. Sometimes you'd find things moved but you weren't sure how they got there. At night he feel the man's presence when he came to bed but there was never any communication between them. No good nights, no see ya in the morning, no nothing. 

The commander was ignoring him and Tom Paris wasn't used to being ignored. For good or for bad people always took notice of Thomas Eugene Paris. No one had ever actually pretended as if he didn't exist and in Tom's mind it didn't matter what you thought of him as long as you thought of him. Some how that gave him the substance he didn't feel he had on his own. It took him a moment to realize Harry was still talking.

"So no thirty laps around the hydroponics bay for leaving dirty underwear lying about. What about cleaning the head with your toothbrush if you don't put the toothpaste cap back on? Come on Tom give it up, what's it like living with such a hard ass?"

"It's OK Harry, really. Like I said I never see the guy so I just about do whatever I please. I don't think he gives me a second thought. It's not much different than being in my own quarters except it's neater and smells a whole lot nicer."

Harry looked at him as if he didn't believe him. After his own hard luck story Tom was sure he was hoping to hear that he wasn't adjusting to his new accommodations any better. Tom almost wished he did have a story to tell. It was better than saying that the commander didn't care one way or the other that Tom was living in his quarters. 

"Fine be that way. Just don't expect me to listen when the commander really does come down on your ass. See ya on the bridge."

Tom waved absentmindedly as Harry left the messhall. Tom was thinking about ways to get Chakotay's attention. He had already done the things Harry had mention with no response, so what was left? The only thing other than making a mess of things that Tom figured he was good at was sex. But would Chakotay respond to that and would he welcome the response? Well it wouldn't hurt to test the waters, after all Tom had no aversion to men, sex was sex in his opinion. It didn't matter what was there and what wasn't. If it felt good, he was all for it. 

Tom got up, giving his seat to a Mikan with a rather full plate, planning his seduction of Chakotay as he left the messhall.

********

Chakotay stretched the sleep out of his languid muscles as he readied himself to begin the day and get out of bed. As he did each morning he treated himself to a look at Tom's body reposed in sleep. Later in the shower he would use that same image to fuel his fantasies and to bring himself off. However this morning the cot was empty. As jealousy began to take hold of him wondering where Tom had spent the night, he heard movement in the head. Chakotay closed his eyes in relief, he was here; the lieutenant had merely gotten up earlier than he usually did. 

Through the steam escaping from the bathroom emerged the fodder of his fantasies. Chakotay feigned sleep and watched as Tom performed his morning absolutions.

He was wearing nothing but a white towel slung low on his hips. Tom retrieved his clothing from the dresser and the closet and brought them over to the cot. Chakotay watched through hooded eyelids the pilot's fingers as he released the knot holding the towel.

Not two feet from him stood his Tom, unclothed bearing his all. His back was to him displaying his taut buttocks and the sensuous play of his shoulders as he reached for his clothing. As he pulled his undershirt over his head his spine curved and the commander watched as the muscles of his calves and butt contracted. Chakotay had to bite his bottom lip to prevent himself from shouting out his desire as he watched Tom continue to dress. Never before had the sight of a man dressing instead of disrobing aroused him this much.

With a final smoothing of his uniform with his hands the lieutenant left the room.

On shaky legs, the commander got out of bed and went into the head. It was still warm and steamy from Tom's shower earlier. He stepped into the stall and activated the sonics.

Chakotay leaned forward with his arms outstretched against the front of the stall. The faint vibrations caused by the sonics made his sensitized skin tingle, heightening his state of arousal. Planting his feet squarely apart, he brought one hand to his chest, sliding it downward to cup his balls. With a tender squeeze, the lieutenant's name escaped his lips. His fingers circled his cock pulling roughly a few times before they began stroking in earnest. Tom's performance this morning had precluded his normal routine of slow rapture.

With his eyes closed and his head back, Chakotay pictured himself pumping into Tom. Imagining the heat of his own palm as the heat of Tom's tight passage. Feeling his balls tightening he stroked harder, his fist slamming into his belly as he did so.

"Oh Tom, oh Tom…Tom!"

His release spurted over his hand, slicking his cock and soothing the chafed skin of his penis momentarily before the sonics whisked it away. Chakotay moved his arm back to the front of the stall and buried his head in his shoulder as a mixed feeling of elation and guilt over took him.

"Spirits Tom what have you done to me?"

Standing there in the shower, Chakotay asked a question the object of his query was never meant to hear. But he did.

********

"Computer, diffuse viewport and dim lights to 40 percent."

Tom heard the shrill whistle of the Delta Flyer's computer as it complied with his commands.

Looking for a place to be alone with his thoughts, Tom had run the gambit of all his favorite havens. Sandrine's, Hydroponics and even Deck 15 had been crawling with Mikans. Ensign Harren had been holding court expounding his theories regarding the creation of the universe to the surprisingly enthralled group. Again Tom wondered about these people's taste in pleasure. He fled to the Flyer, his last bastion of privacy.

He sat at the conn, staring at the darkened viewport in front of him. This morning he had seen something that had literally rocked his world. He had spent the entire day trying to process what he had now in his mind labeled the "shower scene" and still fly the ship at the same time. It had been a very near thing.

All he had wanted to do was provoke some kind of response in the ever-stoic commander. He had not been prepared for his own. Sneaking back to see if his performance had made the man stand up (no pun intended) and take notice of him had been successful, had been an impulse.

Tom had almost tripped over the man's sleep pants as he peered around the edge of the door of the bathroom. He could feel the thrum of sonics as Chakotay began his shower. He had never seen the commander nude before and the sight of him now took his breath away. Every muscle was beautifully defined, encased by smooth bronze skin and surrounded by the only body hair Tom could see was Chakotay erect long, thick cock. He watched it quiver in arousal until the commander's hand blocked it from view.

Tom brushed his own now raging erection through his uniform as he watched the man in the shower service himself. It was the most erotic thing he had ever seen. He was the epitome of lust, of pleasure and in that moment of watching Chakotay, Tom knew he would never become aroused again without picturing this image in his mind. He was hardly aware that his hand had breached his trousers and was touching flesh.

" Oh Tom, oh Tom…Tom!"

He had to grip the doorframe and bite his lip to prevent falling to his knees and calling Chakotay's name in reply as he came. 

Trying to recover Tom rolled till his back was against the wall beside the door. He was trying to put himself back to rights, thinking he would have to miss breakfast in the messhall with Harry to stop by the gym to clean up, when he heard Chakotay's voice again.

"Spirits Tom what have you done to me?"

You?! Tom tilted his head back and squeezed his eyes shut. Shit Chak what the hell did you just to do me. Tom tried not to laugh hysterically. Not only did he get a reaction from Chakotay, but Chakotay had also made him react. He looked down. Yeah he had just "reacted" all over his uniform. He sobered. It wasn't supposed to happen this way. He was the one that was supposed to be in control, not lose it. Gods all he had wanted to do was test the waters not drown. He had fled the room trying to make sense of it all.

He couldn't settle in the comm chair. His body was taking its cue from his mind. Tom got up and walked the length of the Flyer and back again before sitting on sloped floor leading to the cockpit wrapping his arms around his knees. Tom considered what to do next.

Distance, he needed distance. Tom considered yeah and maybe a good fuck. Chakotay's firm body immediately came to mind. No, no Tommy Boy somebody other than god's gift to blonde blue eyed pilots. Somebody that would engage his desires not his emotions. 

Maybe he'd try Sandrine's again. The Mikans while being fairly short in stature were not all that unattractive. The males of the species were light green and the females were a faintly metallic shade of orange. He wasn't exactly sure if they preferred one gender to another but since gender didn't matter to Tom it wouldn't matter which colour he ended up with.

Feeling like he had a better handle on the situation, Tom exited the Delta Flyer and made his way to Holodeck Two.

********

"Deck Two"

Chakotay moved to the back of the turbolift and watched the blinking panels on the walls as it moved to its destination, his office. 

He'd been spending most of his nights there going over reports and schedules in his effort to avoid his roommate. Unfortunately now he was so caught up with his paperwork, a first for him, that he spent most of his time in his office playing chess with the computer. He smiled to himself in remembrance. It had been one of his father's favorite games, one he had regularly beaten his son at. Maybe in his next dreamwalk he'd show the old man the results of all his recent practice.

The lift stopped part way to its destination on Deck 8 to admit another passenger.

The commander broke his revelry as the lift's doors opened. Tom Paris stood framed in the doorway. Their eyes locked momentarily before Tom strode in and stood adjacent to the commander.

"Deck Six."

Chakotay suddenly felt every hair in his head, (and elsewhere but he tried to ignore that part of his anatomy) stand on end as the beautiful pilot stood beside him. Trying to banish the sight of Tom's splendid body from his mind and break what was becoming a tangible silence, he spoke.

"Going to the Holodeck, Lieutenant?"

Tom. You called me Tom this morning the "lieutenant" thought before he answered.

"Yeah, I thought I'd might introduce the Mikans to the time honoured game of billiards. You know just doing my duty. The captain did say she wanted us to make them feel at home."

"Yes she did, however I hope you will refrain from also introducing the Mikans to your equally time honoured concept of wagering."

"Oh yeah sure commander, just a few friendly games. So what are you up to tonight?"

"Reports. A first officer's work is never done. It'll be another late night for me."

The lift stopped, opening its doors on Deck Six. Tom made the two steps to the opened doors and then swiveled to face Chakotay. For the second time since entering the lift Tom looked at him.

"Well don't work too hard, OK."

He stepped back and the doors closed. Chakotay still struck by the force of the blue eyes looking at him answered automatically even though the lieutenant was gone.

"OK."

********

"Checkmate"

For the third time in a row Chakotay had beaten the computer on level 18 of the chess program. He been in his office an hour and was becoming increasingly frustrated with himself. There was really no point to his being here. He had nothing to do here and he would be a whole lot comfortable doing nothing in his cabin. Tom was in Sandrine's probably fleecing a few Mikans; he would have the whole cabin to himself for a couple of hours. Maybe he could meditate and help relieve the tension he could feel in his neck all the way down to the base of his spine. 

Chakotay signed off his computer and headed to his quarters.

********

The noise hit him like a tidal wave. As he walked into Sandrine's a cacophony of voices and music washed over him. Mikans with a spattering of Voyager's crew filled the holodeck taking up almost all available space.

Tom squeezed through the press of bodies to find himself a space at the bar. He ordered a beer and turned around to face the action. A stage had been added to the program and Tom was amazed to see Harry up there with his clarinet with a bunch of Mikans who were playing what Tom supposed were instruments, wailing out a melody that could only be described as loud. There was no discernible rhythm or down beat but the Mikans were dancing and applauding with crazed enthusiasm anyway. Tom looked again. Gods, was that B'Elanna on drums? 

Tom shook his head and turned back to the bar to find another beer placed in front of him. Before he had a chance to ask where it came from he felt a small warm hand on his ass.

"Very pretty. Is pretty one thirsty?"

Tom looked down to his left to see a pale green face smiling up at him. He assumed correctly that this was the owner of the hand on his butt. The hand began to slip between his cheeks, exploring his inner thighs and brushing his balls. Tom brought his thighs together and twisted, interrupting the inquisitive fingers. He put his empty glass down and picked up the full one in front of him.

"Thanks, I'm Tom and you would be?"

The bright green eyes glowed as the creature's hands transferred themselves from his ass to his chest, playing with the opening of his jacket.

"Sh'ek, my name is Sh'ek. So pretty. Does pretty one want to play?"

Before Tom could answer, someone in an effort to get a drink at the bar shoved him forward into Sh'ek. The Mikan took this an affirmative answer to his question and transferred his fondling from Tom's chest to his nether regions. In the crowd no one saw as the Mikan's hands delved beyond the waist of his trousers and into his pants.

He felt the small deft fingers tracing the length of his cock as he continued to let his gaze rove the crowd seemingly unaffected. Thankfully the Mikan wasn't tall enough to meet his eyes or it would have shattered the illusion of a broad bronze hand touching him.

"Yes, very pretty. Sh'ek wants the pretty one."

The sound of the Mikan's voice broke the spell and Tom jerk away feeling almost violated by the man's touch. He pulled the hands away and straighten his uniform.

"I'm sorry. I have to go. Uh, thanks for the drink." He pulled away from the confused Mikan who had turned a darker shade of green.

"No. Pretty Tom belongs to Sh'ek. Pretty Tom stays."

As tactfully as he could the lieutenant extricated himself from the clutches of the now distraught Mikan.

"Look I'm sorry Sh'ek but I gotta go. Maybe we can hook up later but duty calls and I have go do some, some…piloting. OK? I'll see ya later."

Tom didn't wait for an answer from the diminutive alien as he fought the crowd and left the holodeck for his quarters.

********

With the lights dimmed to 30 percent Chakotay had sat wearing his sleep pants with his medicine bundle in his hands and willed for the umpteenth time for his spirit guide to meet him. He would just skirt the dream plane before it would dissolve before him into the realm of his quarters. 

He adjusted the woven rug beneath him and tried again to still his mind. Thoughts of blue eyes and golden hair disrupted his thoughts preventing him from reaching the tranquillity he required to meditate. It was ironic since the very things that were stopping him from reaching his spirit guide where the very things he desperately needed to reach his guide for.

He needed an answer to his passion. A reason for his need. He had hoped that his spirit guide's wisdom would give him these answers but it seemed he was to be denied that avenue of discovery. He would have to do this on his own.

Dispassionately as a counselor of human emotions he would like to diagnose his problem as an attraction that had developed into obsession. Unfortunately as a man he knew that wasn't the case. He wasn't becoming obsessed with Tom Paris; he was falling in love and that was something that no amount of counseling could cure.

Unrequited love. It was something that he read about before but had never experienced. He was in love with a man he didn't have a chance of ever being with. A man that while gave him a respect due his rank would never return his feelings. 

In his misery he barely registered the sound of the doors of his cabin swishing open.

********

Tom raced down the corridor on the way to his quarters ignoring the acknowledgments of his fellow shipmates in his desire to be alone. Tonight's venture had been a total fiasco. In his effort to banish Chakotay from his thoughts he had only managed to bring those thoughts to the forefront. He had fervently wanted the release the little alien had offered only to find the only one he wanted to relieve him of his anxiety was the one he was running from.

He cursed his emotions. He never wanted to be that "out there" emotionally. He never wanted to take that risk. He was setting himself up for a fall letting someone have that power over him and his happiness. Being in love makes you act like a fool, just stupid and totally out of control. He reached the door of his temporary quarters, pressed the pad and entered.

*********

The phrase "Spiritual Warrior" was the first thing came into his mind when he saw Chakotay sitting on the rug in the middle of the room.

What the hell what was he doing here, was the second. He was supposed to in his office not here doing his Indian thing half-naked in their quarters. It just wasn't fucking fair! Already Tom could feel the blood rushing to his cock and all the guy was doing was sitting there. Chakotay's eyes fluttered opened and then opened wide as he took in Tom presence before him.

"Lieutenant?"

Tom winced at hearing Chak use his formal title. Here in the intimacy of "their" quarters it just didn't seem right anymore.

"Tom, my name is Tom." He pressed the point by emphasizing his next words. " OK Chakotay?"

"OK Tom. What happened to your plans of being Voyager's goodwill ambassador? Why aren't you in the holodeck?"

For a moment Tom thought about telling him the tale of Sh'ek curious at what the reaction would be. Would the big guy be jealous or disgusted? Not willing to chance the latter he replied,

"Oh that. Well it seems Harry and B'Elanna had already filled the position. So I thought I'd leave them to it and come back here to relax instead." He shifted from one foot to the other, "What about you? No reports tonight?"

Chakotay looked pointedly up Tom trying not to let his eyes wander down the front of the pilot's trousers where he swore he could see the beginnings of an erection. No it couldn't be, it had to be the dim lighting and his over worked libido that made him imagine that the man was becoming aroused.

"No, no reports."

"So you're what, meditating or something like that?"

"Yes, something like that. I was trying to contact my spirit guide."

"Is it hard?"

Chakotay, distracted by the man's phrase, spoke without thinking.

"Sometimes. Would you like to try it?"

"Yeah, wait right there." Tom dashed towards the bedroom. He spoke over his shoulder, "Don't move, I'll be right back."

Chakotay stared at the doors of the bedroom as Tom disappeared behind them. What did he just do? Helping someone find his or her spirit guide was a deeply personal act. He had done it for both Kathryn and B'Elanna as a way of conveying his respect and friendship. However doing it for someone he cared for on a deeper level would also convey those deeper feelings. The spirits wouldn't allow him to hide behind his commander façade in the dream plane. Well with any luck his spirit guide would continue to avoid him tonight, he thought of her often twisted sense of humour, and wasn't sure.

As soon as Tom entered the sleeping area he began stripping off his clothes scattering them all over the room. He reached for his sleep pants and drew them on. Maybe the only way he was going to get over the big guy was to just get it over with and get it out of his system once and for all. He headed back out to the living area.

He plopped himself down in front Chakotay and crossed his legs, his kneecaps touching the commanders. He tried to be cool and ignore the bolt of electricity he felt go straight to his groin at their connection.

"OK, I'm ready. Now what?"

Spirits, so this was the front view looked like. Red-gold curls spread across a lean muscled chest circling pink nipples and tapering down and disappearing under the drawstring waist of Tom pants. With great effort to ignore the beauty before him, he readied them for their dreamwalk.

"Close your eyes and picture a place that makes you feel safe and contented."

Tom watched as Chakotay closed his eyes but kept his own opened. For the first time that night he allowed himself to drink in the strong quiet essence the commander radiated. By now his cock was fully erect making a tent in his pants, his pre-cum staining the top. 

"I'm there Chak."

"Good. Now tell me where you are."

"I'm in our cabin."

As he began to explain to Tom his question was not meant literally he felt hands sliding along his upper thighs, fingertips kneading the muscles there. He opened his eyes to Tom's face inches away from his.

"Chakotay I want you to fuck me."

Hearing the boldness of Tom's statement brought many responses to mind but no wasn't one of them.

The pilot saw the reaction the crudeness of his words ensconced. The commander's eyes dilated and his breathing became deeper, more labored. He went with it.

"I want to feel your cock inside me. Take me so hard that I scream your name for more. Fuck me Chak and make me yours."

Disregarding the danger to ego, Chakotay encased the pilot's face between his hands and took his lips in a crushing kiss. Teeth gnashed teeth before their tongues came together tasting and exploring. He felt the drawstring of his pants being undone and then hands stroking his erection, lightly rolling his balls.

His hands tighten in the blonde hair as he released Tom's mouth and began nipping and teasing with his teeth and tongue the underside of the man's jaw down to his collarbone.

"Touch me Chakotay, please."

Chakotay clasped Tom's biceps and pushed him back onto rug. Tom uncrossed his legs and made room for the commander's body between them. Tom's head and ass were driven into the floor by Chakotay's mouth and hips. The double assault made his head whirl with pleasure. The room was still spinning when he felt the weight lift and his pants torn from his body. And then there was nothing. His eyes squeezed shut as panic edged Tom's consciousness.

"Chakotay?"

"I'm here baby."

Warm oil trickled over his cock and between the cheeks of his ass. Tom released the breath he hadn't realized he was holding when he felt a broad hand on his erection and a finger rimming his anus. He spread his knees and lifted his butt into Chakotay touch.

"Gods, Chakotay fuck me!"

"I am Tom, oh baby I am."

He tried to turn over but Chakotay held him fast.

"No baby, I want to see you."

The commander grabbed a pillow from the lounge and placed under the hips of the man he had wanted for so long. He needed to see Tom's face as he rammed himself into him. He needed to see his desire returned. He oiled his cock and inserted a finger into Tom to ready him.

"Shit Chakotay just fucking do it!"

He placed kisses on the insides of Tom's calves as he brought those long slender legs up over his shoulders. Chakotay took hold of his penis and breached Tom's opening. Spirits it was tight, so warm, in all his imaginings he could have never come close to this. He felt Tom straining to meet him as the passage relaxed enough for him to remove his hand and press deeper into the heat.

"Oh yeah Chak, like that, yeah like that."

Chakotay looked into a face thrown back in pleasure. He tried to burn the image of Tom's swollen lips, tousled hair and the traces of his own mouth on the gracefully curved throat into his memory. He pushed his hips forward until he was entirely embedded in Tom's ass.

"Move Chakotay, just fucking move!"

The commander rocked his hips, obeying the pleading man beneath him in earnest. Leaning forward he grasped Tom's shoulders for leverage as he thrust repeatedly into him. The pilot's erection was pressed between their bellies and was stimulated by the movement of his body. He felt it spasm and then shoot a stream of cum hitting his chest.

"Chakotay!"

Feeling his balls contract, Chakotay pumped hard a finale few times as he came deep inside his lover.

"Oh Tom, oh Tom…Tom!"

Slipping out of his lover the commander fell forward bearing the weight of his body on his elbows. Feathered kisses traced his tattoo and warm hands caressed his back and buttocks. He looked into those shining blue eyes.

"Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I'm more than all right. In fact I'd have to say that "all right" would be a bit of an understatement at the moment."

"Tom what just happened here?"

"Sex Chakotay, its called sex." Tom saw Chakotay open his mouth to say more and slid a hand around to cover his lips. "I wanted you and you wanted me, it doesn't have to mean anything more than that. We've just found something better to do together other than playing pool and having a few drinks in Sandrine's, OK?"

"I think it's a bit more complicated than that Tom."

Tom saw Chakotay's typical black and white mentality surfacing as the big guy rolled off him and place an arm over his eyes. He have to think fast and come up with a convincing argument if he ever wanted to feel the commander's desire for him again. And he most certainly did. The knack would be convincing him that it was OK for them to satisfy each other without developing any messy entanglements. He rolled on his side and pulled the commander's arm away from his face.

"Look Chak, we can do this. We're not going to be able to deny what happened between us so why not just go for it. Outside this cabin you can still do your commander thing and I can still do my cocky flyboy bit but when we're alone we can just be Tom and Chakotay. Come on, it's just one more week anyway. What do you say?" 

The commander looked at the beauty he had so recently made love to and couldn't believe he was lying here trying to come up with arguments on why he couldn't do it again. Well then again he could. Tom was offering to be his lover, not offering his love. While he acknowledged that it was less that he had hoped for it was also more. So for "now" he would agree to Tom's terms. It didn't matter that it was a lie.

"OK. But I do have one condition."

"Sure Chak, anything. What is it?"

Chakotay looked down at his abraded knees and the condition of his rug.

"Next time we do it in bed, OK?"

Surprised and delighted by the commander's humour, Tom landed a big wet one on his lips. He pulled back and gave Chakotay a smile that melted his heart.

"You got it big guy! Let's go."

Tom sprung up like gazelle and pulled him up off the floor. As his new lover led him into the other room, Chakotay prayed to the Spirits for strength.

********

"He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me!"

Tom finished pruning the Doc's medicinal herb garden, then began categorizing the leaf samples and putting them into vacuum-sealed containers. The EMH had recently been researching the healing properties of various alien plant samples and had created small hydroponic garden in Sickbay.

In an effort to dodge Sh'ek, who seemed to be everywhere Tom was with the notable exception of the bridge, he had offered to take an afternoon shift in Sickbay. Curiously it was one of the few places the Mikans avoided on Voyager, much to the chagrin of the doctor. He spent all his time making "cabin" calls to the mildly hypochondriac aliens, in fact that's where he was now. Apparently on their planet medical science came to them not the other way around. So except for patching few minor injuries to his fellow crewmen, Tom had enjoyed a fairly peaceful and "Sh'ek free" afternoon.

Tom sniffed the current sample he was handling. Mmm? It smelt a little like basil. Too bad it was natural laxative or he might have considered using it the spaghetti he was going to make him and Chak for dinner later. Spending all night in the head did not make for a romantic evening. 

Tom caught himself. A romantic evening? After one night in the commander's arms he was playing the role of the newlywed. He had even gone back to their quarters on his lunch break to tidy up the place and replicate candles and fresh flowers. Gods, next he be picking out the big guy's clothes and making vacation plans. What the hell was he doing? He was supposed to be just fucking Chakotay not courting him.

Not liking the path his mind was taking him down, Tom simply chose another. He rationalized that he was doing all these niceties really for himself. He liked candles and flowers and spaghetti too. And after all a happy Chakotay was a horny Chakotay, right? Right.

Feeling better about the situation, he concentrated on finishing the task at hand so he could get home and start dinner. It took him a moment to register the soft breathing behind him. He froze. Please let it not be Sh'ek. When broad arms circled his waist, he relaxed.

"Guess who?"

"Harry?"

The arms tightened and teeth nibbled at his earlobe.

"No, guess again."

Tom brought his arms up and folded them over the ones embracing him bringing his mystery guest closer.

"It's not Captain Janeway unless she's been working out a lot lately. Hmm, maybe Tuvok?"

"Wrong again, need a hint?"

He heard a soft chuckle in his ear and a hardness against his ass. A playful Chakotay and a horny Chakotay? He could get used to this real fast.

"You're sure it's not Tuvok because I've heard stories and…"

"Time's up."

Strong arms spun him around and before he had a chance to name his captor, full lips took his own. The kiss was slow and deep, making Tom tingle from the back of his neck to his knees. He wrapped his arms around Chakotay's neck and hung on for dear life. The commander gently broke the kiss and smiled, his dimples in full force.

"Hi."

Tom's voice was a whisper when he answered.

"Hi."

"Are you going to be here much longer?"

"Ah maybe another half hour or so. What about you? Are you done being the first officer for the day?"

"Almost. I've got a quick meeting with the captain to go to and then I'll be heading for our quarters. I shouldn't be more than an hour, OK?"

"OK. That'll give me time to grab a shower before I start dinner."

This time Tom's mind didn't even register the domesticity of his words but his partner did.

Chakotay gave his lover a quick squeeze and kissed his forehead before he let him go.

"Bye, baby."

Tom stood and watched until the commander had left Sickbay before he returned to his duties. 

********

"May I ask what you're doing Mr Paris?"

Tom stopped his surveillance of the hall outside Sickbay and turned his head to face the EMH.

"I'm just checking to see if the coast is clear."

"Clear of what may I ask."

Tom stepped back and allowed the Sickbay doors to swish close. With his palm facing downward, he outstretched his arm.

"Clear of a little green guy about this high."

"I see, a friend of yours."

"No not exactly a friend."

The Doc's eyebrows rose, crinkling his forehead.

"Oh, I see."

"No Doc you don't. He's not that kind of a friend either."

"Really Mr Paris, I was not inferring a sexual relationship. I am well aware that you are otherwise engaged in that department. I meant I understood this person is someone you wish to avoid."

This time Tom's eyebrows rose. Otherwise engaged?

"Ah Doc, how long have you been back?"

"47 minutes. Not that you would have noticed my return, you were too busy doing what I believe you would call "sucking face" with Commander Chakotay."

The lieutenant's mouth dropped and his face flushed.

"Sucking face?"

The doctor straightened his shoulders and indignity crept into his voice.

"Yes Mr Paris sucking face, necking, kissing. I am quite sure my research was accurate and I was using the term correctly."

"Research?"

"As Seven's social teacher I have scanned all available information on Terran mating rituals in Voyager's data banks. Since you're the ships resident aficionado of 20th century culture, I thought I'd use this opportunity to apply that knowledge. I've actually become some what of an expert on the topic. For instance I could have said that you and the commander were making out or perhaps doing the wild thing or…"

"Doc, Doc, I get it. You know your stuff, OK?"

Oh this was just wonderful. Tom could just see the Doc asking him and Chak to demonstrate "Terran mating rituals" for Seven in her next lesson. He'd have to put a lid on this fast.

"Look Doc, what you saw was kinda of private. I'd appreciate you keeping this to yourself, OK?"

Indignity washed over the EMH's features again, a perpetual state for him when in the lieutenant's presence.

"I'm a doctor Mr Paris not a gossip columnist. If you prefer to keep your liaison with the first officer secret that is your business. However if I should have some questions of a strictly educational nature, I do hope you will accommodate me. I will of course treat anything you say as confidential."

Tom couldn't believe that however subtly he was being blackmailed by a hologram. All right an incredibly sophisticated one but a hologram never the less.

"Fine, whatever just don't say anything or there won't be anything to ask about, OK?"

The EMH nodded his head and walked around to the medical computer. His voice was plaintive as his hands brought the console to life.

"You know when Kes was here she didn't have any problem discussing her biological functions."

Tom rolled his eyes.

"Well in case you hadn't noticed I'm not Kes."

"No you're certainly not and by the way the coast is clear."

"What? Oh thanks Doc. See ya."

After the lieutenant had left the doctor retired to his office. He replayed the video recording of the interaction between the first officer and chief pilot. It was a fascinating study of what would have been called in the 20th century an office romance. He was going to have lots of questions.

********

"And then kicking and screaming she threw him out of the airlock. It was a fair solution to the problem, don't you agree Commander?"

"Yes of course Kathryn."

For the last twenty minutes she had been discussing the ramifications of the crews' recent change in accommodations with the viewport. Commander Chakotay sat across from her on the lounge in her ready room either looking out said viewport or straining his neck to read the chronometer on her desk. She was mildly annoyed but suspecting the reason for his inattention, also faintly amused. She tested his focus again.

"Of course with the loss of our Operations Officer, Tom Paris will have to take his place as the chief engineer's new whipping boy."

"Tom?"

Ah she knew the "T" word would get his attention. When she had put together the roomy list she knew this pairing would finally be the catalyst the both men needed to confront their feelings towards each other. From the moment Chakotay had appeared on her bridge all those years ago she had felt the sexual tension between him and Voyager's pilot.

Back then she had seen the tactical advantage of having the Maquis captain romantically involved with one of her Federation officers. It would have gone a long way in helping the two diverse crews meld and become one viable working unit. Unfortunately both men had allowed pride and typical male posturing blind them to the obvious. Since then they had been dancing around each other neither man willing to make the first move. Kathryn had hoped their current situation would finally knock some sense into the two men and let them see what she had all along. That both would be lost until they found each other.

"Chakotay is there a particular situation you would like to discuss?"

He was silent for so long she thought that perhaps he wouldn't take her up on her invitation to discuss his "particular situation".

"Yes there is something that has come to my attention recently. A relationship has developed between two crewman that has exceeded the bounds of their previous one."

Terrific he wasn't going to come right out and say he was sleeping with her chief pilot, he was going to do the "I have this friend" bit. OK she'd go with it.

"By saying they have exceeded the bounds I take you mean they have developed a sexual relationship?"

"Yes, but for the duration of their enforced stay together only."

"And the problem is that one of them has found they would like the relationship to continue after we drop the Mikans off on their home planet."

"Yes and if they tell the person involved they might risk losing out in what time they could have together until then. So the problem is should this person continue to deceive the other enjoying what time they have or come clean now and disclose their real feelings?"

Kathryn sat back as she considered the problem. Chakotay was a good man. He was prepared to live and die for what he believed in without subterfuge; his involvement in the Maquis was a testament to that. Hiding his feelings from Tom would go against everything that he was. This relationship must be very important to him if he was considering compromising those values. Not knowing Tom's side of the story tempered her answer.

"You know someone once told me that here on Voyager we were in a unique situation. That we have a hard time applying the same rules from the Alpha quadrant here in the Delta." 

She leaned forward and placed a reassuring hand on the commander's knee. 

"The rules have changed Chakotay and we are going to have to change with them. I'm inclined to believe that statement is sort of the motto of our entire voyage. If we've learnt anything here in the Delta quadrant we've learnt that the rules we've lived by all our lives are not finite. So in light of that maybe your crewman should wait before declaring his feelings. You never know what's going to happen tomorrow that's going to change our entire universe."

Kathryn humbly stepped off her soapbox and waited for Chakotay's reaction. He looked a little more relaxed and a little more "here" as opposed to being lost in the stars outside the viewport. He took her hand from his knee and pressed it within his own.

"You know maybe I should be Captain and you should take over the duties of first officer and ship's councilor. Interested?"

She slipped her hand from his and placed both of them on either side of her face in mock horror.

"And have to share quarters with Tom Paris? Hell no."

Chakotay played the game and stood up.

"Oh well it was worth a shot."

As the first officer left, the captain of Voyager gazed at the stars outside the viewport of her ready room feeling very pleased with herself.

*******

"Checkmate!"

Chakotay stared down at the board. He had been sure Tom had using the Queen's Gambit Accepted defense so his use of the Grunfeld Gambit should have defeated him. Chakotay stopped himself and smiled. If he'd been playing with anyone else it would have. It seemed Tom's chess playing was as unpredictable as everything else about him was.

"So what do I win?"

Tom leapt from his seat and straddled Chakotay. They'd eaten a good dinner, played a little chess and now he was ready for dessert. He looked down at his after dinner treat. Chakotay was peering around him still looking at the playing pieces on the chessboard. He rubbed his groin against Chakotay's trying to get the man focused on the piece in his lap. It worked, sort of.

"Who taught you to play like that?"

The lieutenant stopped squirming and answered the big guy, his voice taking on a dispassionate air.

"My Dad mostly. He'd make me play for hours and I hated every minute of it." He took in Chakotay's look of concern and sat back linking his fingers behind the commander's neck. "Don't get me wrong I love playing chess but just not with my father. He was a Grandmaster and played very seriously. He said that chess would teach me strategy and discipline, qualities necessary to becoming a good Starfleet officer like him. Hell Chakotay even though I was just a kid, I knew I didn't want to be like him, ever.

Chakotay had never met the Admiral and was sure he never wanted to. Any father that would steal the delights of youth from his own child was not a father in his mind. He could see the damage the man had caused just by reading Tom's service record.

"I figured a way out of it though. I just twisted the Gambits he taught me and worked them until I was able to beat him. It took awhile but eventually he got pissed off enough to stop asking me to play."

The commander cupped the pilot's ass with his hands and brought him closer.

"I'm sorry Tom."

Tom's puzzlement at his apology increased his resentment towards Admiral Paris. Tom didn't even realize what he had lost.

"It's OK Chakotay. I still got to play chess with my sisters." Tom brought his face within inches of the commander's and resumed his attentions to the man's groin. "Now, if I didn't know better I'd say you were avoiding my question."

"Question?"

"What do I win, Commander?"

Although the subject of the Admiral was one Chakotay wanted to pursue, his now fully engorged cock told him that maybe now wasn't a good time.

"Was there anything you wanted in particular, Lieutenant?"

Blue eyes flashed and a tongue traced a sensuous bottom lip.

"Yeah how about first officer al a mode?"

"I see. Would you settle for the first officer and having the al a mode part another time."

Tom screwed up his features and made as if to think about the offer.

"I don't know Chak. Dessert isn't really isn't dessert without ice cream. And maybe we can replicate some cherries and whipped…"

Chakotay didn't let the pilot finish his thought as he scooped him up wrapping the long legs around his waist and headed for the bedroom.

********

They stood naked facing each other in the candlelight with their eyes locked.

Like an image in a mirror, the men explored the each other's face, fingers brushing eyelashes, cheekbones and mouths. Stepping closer they let their bodies meld and their lips come together allowing each taste and touch be set to memory. There was no haste in their movements only quiet discovery and acknowledgment.

The dark haired man took his lover's hand and pulled him down to the bed aligning the pale body along his own. Their legs interwove allowing their erections to nestle side by side. Clasping one hand over their heads and the other on their partner's ass they began to rock against one another. As their movement quickened no words passed their lips, only moans of pleasure and need.

The pale one as he reached his zenith, sank his teeth into the shoulder of his mate, causing the source of his catalyst to reach his own. He spoke the name of his beloved before he drifted into oblivion of sleep.

"Chakotay."

********

It was early morning when the commander awoke. He looked at the cot set up beside his bed. It was empty. This time its vacancy didn't cause him to become alarmed. He knew where Tom was. He kissed the golden hair of the head resting on his chest and thanked the Spirits.

Tom was his. He knew that now because last night they didn't just have sex, they had made love and it had taken him totally unaware.

Given the man's impish antics before they had gone to bed, Chakotay had expected the same rough and tumble sex they had enjoyed the previous night. But when he had emerged from the head after cleaning up a bit, he had found Tom nude in the middle of a room softly lit with candles. He had tried to speak but Tom shook his head and stilled his lips with his fingers. The slow and gentle lovemaking that had followed had shattered Chakotay to his core. 

He would no longer be able to compromise his feelings towards Tom. He loved him too much to pretend that he would accept a relationship without that love, a love he was certain Tom felt too.

"Good Morning big, dark and gorgeous."

He glanced down to a bright smile and a face still flushed with sleep.

"Good Morning to you too, Poocuh."

As Tom snuggled closer to him, he felt the lieutenant's erection brush his thigh and a questing hand stroke his own.

"You know it could get even better." 

A wet tongue teased his nipple.

"Really?"

"Yeah, wanna know how?"

"Sure, I'm up for it."

Tom lifted his head from Chakotay's chest and rolled his eyes at the man's attempt at humour.

"OK funny man, follow me."

Tom threw back the covers and sauntered into the bathroom. Chakotay watched the wantonness his lover displayed as he walked across the room before rousing himself and following.

When Chakotay reached the entrance to the head he settle himself against the doorframe and watched Tom through the clear pane of the shower.

His lover was leaning forward into the warm jet of water with one hand on the stall in front of him and the other stroking his erect penis. It was an extremely beautiful and arousing scene. Chakotay played the voyeur until Tom started saying his name in pleasure.

"Oh god Chakotay, oh god, oh god."

Chakotay moved from the doorway and slipped behind Tom in the shower. Filling his hand with liquid soap from the dispenser on the wall, his hand went to his erection spreading the foam. Desire clouded his mind as he spread Tom's cheeks and plunged into him forgoing any preparation. The pilot cried out and surged back into the commander his pain momentary. He continued his masturbation as Chakotay's cock rammed into him.

The tightening of Tom's sphincter signaled to Chakotay his release causing him to orgasm, the release easing the movement of his strokes. 

It was an effort for both of them to remain standing as Chakotay pulled himself from Tom and brought him around to face him. The spray from the shower sluiced over their bodies washing away the ecstasy both had just shared. Chakotay slipped his hand around Tom to stop the flow. When he was done he used one hand to anchor the pilot to him and the other he brought up the beautiful blond's face.

"I'm sorry Poocuh, are you all right?"

Tom kissed him with enough force to press Chakotay's shoulders to the back of the stall. He disengaged his cheek from his beloved's palm and kissed the mark on his shoulder he had left there last night before looking him square in the eye.

"Am I all right? Chak are you kidding? That was fan "fucking" tastic. Yeah I'd say I never been more all right in my entire fucking life!"

Chakotay didn't look convinced.

"But I hurt you."

"But you didn't mean to and believe me I know the difference. Look it's nothing a dermal regenerator won't fix up. I'll be OK so don't beat yourself up over it all right? Come on let's get ready for our shift."

Tom stepped out of the stall and grabbed a couple of towels handing one to a somber commander. Guessing his little speech hadn't convinced his lover that even in his brutality no one had ever touched him with such reverence or care, he pulled the big guy into his arms.

"Look baby, that was pretty intense for both of us but never for one moment was I afraid that you meant to harm me. It was really quite wonderful."

"Tom we need to talk. There are some things I need to say before we go any further in this relationship."

Fear gripped the lieutenant's heart. He's going tell me that this is too much for him. That my behavior was unacceptable. I had promised him no entanglements, no fuss and now he was backing away. He had to fix this. He wasn't quite sure why yet this was so important, he only knew that it was.

"Look Chak, you don't have to say anything. We just had some great sex and maybe it got a little out of hand but sometimes shit like that happens. Don't give it second thought. I like fucking you and you like fucking me. Let's just enjoy it and leave it that OK?"

He left the bathroom, threw on his uniform and headed for Sickbay. As he flew out the doors of their quarters he repressed the urge to cry.

********

"Three, sometimes four. I guess it just depends on who it is."

The Doc made a notation on his PADD.

"And when it's Commander Chakotay?"

Tom was reaching his limit. The Doc had healed his injury without comment, it hadn't been too bad just a bit of tearing, unfortunately now he wouldn't shut up. He had answered his questions as clinically as the EMH had asked them but now he was asking about Chakotay and that's where he drew the line.

"No comment."

The Doc looked up from his PADD, his holographic features exhibiting annoyance.

"Really Mr Paris, how am I supposed to get a clear picture of your sexual habits if I can't ask about your current partner."

"Listen Doc, if you want to know my favorite position I'll tell you. If you want to know how many times a night I can get it up I'll tell you. But if you want to know about Chakotay you're gonna have to ask Chakotay. Get it?"

He knew the EMH had no qualms about asking him about his sex life, hell he'd even had the audacity to blackmail him into it, but Tom was certain that he'd never approach the first officer. Chakotay unconsciously demanded a certain respect from people whether they were humanoid or holographic.

"Very well Lieutenant, I "get it". However it is clear to me that your relationship with the commander is markedly different from your previous experiences. Would you at least concede that?"

Well that was it in a nutshell. It was frightening the way Chakotay was able to drive him from ecstasy to the depths of despair in a matter of minutes and make him forget that despair just as quickly. And despite all that he had never felt so safe in his whole life. Yeah he'd say it was different. 

"Lieutenant?"

"What? Oh yeah Doc I'll give you that. Look my bridge shift is starting soon, can we continue this later?"

The Doc moved to the medical console.

"I'll look forward to it Mr Paris." His fingers manipulated the panel. "The coast is clear."

Tom pushed away from the bio-bed he'd been leaning against and flipped a farewell to the doctor.

"Talk to ya later Doc."

********

Chakotay played with the white knight on the chessboard as he sipped his morning tea. He still had a few minutes before he had to leave the cabin for the bridge.

Since Tom had fled their quarters like a frightened rabbit he had time to put things in perspective. He had messed up. While his lover had been basking in the afterglow of their joining, Chakotay had immediately gone into his first officer mode. He should have been feeling the moment with him not checking his injuries. That could have waited.

The commander smiled to himself. Being with Tom was certainly a learning experience and he found it very hard to keep his keep his self imposed control when around the man. He squeezed the chess piece in his hand ignoring the small hurt as it pressed into his palm.

But dammit, he wanted to lose control every now and again! Just for a few minutes! He wanted to just let go with someone he could trust and he wanted that someone to let go with him at the same time. He wanted to be all wild and wonderful, and feel free and fulfilled. He wanted Thomas Eugene Paris and one stupid mistake like this morning wasn't going to stop him. Nothing was, not even Tom himself was going to stand in the way of the commander getting what he wanted.

With care Chakotay placed the white knight on the chessboard and with a resolute stride left the cabin for the bridge.

This evening he would begin his pursuit of the skittish lieutenant in earnest and the "first officer" would not be invited.

********

"Attendance isn't mandatory but I would consider it a personal favor if you all made an appearance." She swore she heard a few whimpers. "Look the Mikans will only be with us a few more days and Nelix has really outdone himself preparing for this little shindig in the messhall, it won't be so bad. You may even enjoy yourselves."


Kathryn looked around the conference table at her senior staff faintly amused. She had been sure her request had put a crinkle in few romantic ventures tonight, her Operations officer and Chief Engineer's plans being the most obvious ones. 

Now that B'Elanna had stopped kicking out poor Harry every night, they seemed to go everywhere together. The messhall, Sandrine's and sometimes they could be found in the upper levels of engineering where they were definitely not working on engine efficiency. The captain had found that out the hard way while doing one of her impromptu inspections last night.

She had been following the sound of voices butchering one of her favorite Klingon operas, Kahless' Return, when she stumbled upon the two officers. Doing things to the matter-antimatter integrator she would was sure the unit was never meant to do, were Harry and B'Elanna screaming at the top of their lungs and engaged in what she supposed was sexual intercourse. If it wasn't for the fact that they were naked and all Harry's parts were in B'Elanna's parts, she would have sworn they were in a deathmatch. She had backed away silently, as if that mattered, they wouldn't have noticed a "red alert" and continued her inspection. A question brought her out her revelry.

"So exactly how long is an "appearance"?"

Only Tom Paris would have the balls enough to ask her that. The captain, out of the corner of her eye, caught Chakotay's reaction to the lieutenant's brass. He was suppressing a smile. Two weeks ago he would have come down hard on the pilot's ass for such an impertinent remark but now he was sitting here with an almost silly grin on his face. Inwardly Kathryn sighed. Her big rough first officer was in love, softening all those hard edges she was accustomed to. Well it was about time. Maybe now the man wouldn't give her so many damn arguments everytime she made a command decision. Her high spirits were reflected in her answer. She couldn't help herself.

"Forgive me Mr Paris but is there somewhere else or more specifically somebody else you'd rather be with?"

Tom looked every where else in the room except at the commander. Oh this was just too fun. The lieutenant began to fidget in his chair.

"Me? Uh no Captain." He recovered. "I was just trying to determine whether or not I should inform the Doc that we should skip our…our…triage review tonight."

"Well since the Doctor will be attending the party, it would be safe to say that your meeting will postponed." She directed herself to the rest of the room. "If there's nothing else, dismissed."

Kathryn remained seated as she watched her crew file out of the room and reviewed their current situation. She was reminded of the transmissions called "soap operas" that Kes and Nelix had picked up on their temporal trip back to the 20th century a few years back. They were fictional stories full of intrigue and angst and they were totally enthralling to watch. Sometimes even now she found herself replaying some of those old logs.

Tonight's party would be just like one of those old recordings brought to life. She couldn't wait.

Getting up and straightening her uniform she silently thanked the fates for Mikans.

*******

Tom entered the messhall, scanned the room for Chakotay and then again for Sh'ek. A negative for both.

Damn he had wanted to make an entrance for the commander. He had worn his tightest jeans and his blue silk "come fuck me" shirt especially for the big guy. He had planned on tempting the commander from a far and then taking him back to their quarters and fucking his brains out. It was all part of his strategy to convince him that this morning's incident didn't meaning anything and everything was all business as usual. It was great plan. All he needed now was the "fuckee". He made his way to the refreshments table.

********

Chakotay didn't even stop at his quarters to change as he made his way to the messhall from his office. He'd been delayed by a Mikan called Sh'ek asking questions about navigation and piloting who had taken up his buffing up time.

He slowed his pace as the doors to Nelix's "den of iniquity" as Tom liked to call it opened. Through all the Mikans, Fleeters and Maquis the nexus of his life stood out like precious jewel in a pile of rubble. He made a beeline for him.

A cluster of golden aliens surrounded Tom. He was in full "flyboy" mode. His smile flashed and his banter was witty. Chakotay joined the crowd of newly indicted "Tom Paris" fans. Those beautiful ocean blue eyes met his as Tom grabbed his arm and pulled him to his side.

"And here he is, Voyager's bravest officer and my guardian angel, Commander Chakotay."

Chakotay was confused. The lieutenant's hand briefly grabbed his ass and his lips brushed his ear.

"I was just telling these ladies here all about your heroic exploits and about how many times you've saved my sorry ass." Tom saw his lover's puzzlement and let his lips brush his tattoo as he explained. "They wanted to know if I ever got scared being on big ship like this." Tom stepped back from him still keeping a modicum of body contact with him by placing his hand at the base of his spine.

"Now if you'll excuse us ladies I'm going to make sure my hero gets something eat." Tom winked to the bevy of gold. "Gotta keep his strength up just in case. You never know."

Chakotay found himself being steered around Neelix's counter and walked into the pantry at the back of the kitchen. Tom shoved his back against a shelf filled with dried leola root. Hands traveled up and down his sides finally settling on his ass bringing him forward into the pilot's body. His lips were covered in a crushing kiss. As his senses were reaching overload Tom broke the kiss but not the embrace.

"Where the hell have you been?"

"Working."

Tom watched the commander's lips as the words formed on them. They were full and sensuous and needed kissing. He delved into them sucking the lower one while he ran a hand over his lover's burgeoning erection. He had been so afraid he wouldn't show and with each touch he reassured himself that he was really here. He knew he was being irrational, it was just a fucking party, but it somehow it had also been a test. Chakotay hadn't avoided him when he entered the room. He had come directly to him and for some reason that meant something.

"Whoa, baby. If you keep doing that I not going to be able to walk out of here without carrying a case of leola root in front of me."

Tom backed off and gave the man a look of mock amusement. OK he wasn't really funny but he had to give the guy points for trying.

"Well I guess we're just gonna have to do something about that then."

Tom fell to his knees and brought his hands up to the clasp of the commander's trousers. In one swift movement he released Chakotay's cock and steadied it with his hand as he tongued the slit. The commander didn't fight him as he took the purple crest into his mouth and began to bob his head.

"Oh spirits Tom."

When Chakotay's fingers delved into his hair steadying his head, Tom took the opportunity to use a hand to undo his jeans and pump his own raging erection. He was way too horny to let this be a spectator sport. He fucked his hand as Chakotay fucked his mouth.

His breath was hitching and having Chakotay shoving his cock down his throat was making Tom feeling lightheaded increasing his euphoria. As he felt his lover's cum hit the back of his throat he came, stars blinking in his peripheral vision.

Chakotay sank to his haunches catching Tom as he swayed preventing him from hitting the floor. He listened for the pilot's breathing over the noise of the crowd in the other room. When he felt the rise and fall of his chest against his own he kissed his golden hair and whispered.

"I love you."

********

"No Captain, I'm almost positive."

She grabbed Neelix's arm trying to steer him away from the galley. She'd also seen Tom take Chakotay behind the counter, but unlike the ship's morale officer she knew it wasn't to satisfy his hunger. Well it maybe it was that but it wasn't the same hunger that Nelix could do anything about.

"Neelix I'm sure they can find what they need all by themselves. Perhaps you should be checking on the punch, the bowl is almost empty and I know I would mind another glass of that liquid ambrosia."

She ran into the Talaxian's back as he stopped at the entrance of the pantry. Looking over his shoulder she saw her first officer arch his back as he came into the mouth of her chief pilot. Oh hell. She tugged at Neelix's arm. The man wouldn't move, he was transfixed by the scene before him. She had to jab a finger in his side to get his attention.

"Neelix, lets go, OK?"

He finally roused and started backing up into her. She had to manually turn him around and lead him back to the front counter.
When they reached it she grabbed a glass of abandoned punch and forced into his hand before she spoke.

"OK repeat after me. 'I didn't see that.' " She took the Talaxian's face in her fingers making him look her in the eye. "Neelix can you hear me?"

Neelix's eyes focused and he quaffed the punch in his hand in one go. After placing the glass down he stole the captain's eyes with his own.

"That….that was Tom and the commander."

Janeway patted his forearm.

"Yes Neelix, it was."

"But the commander was…he was…"

Kathryn finished his sentence in her own way.

"He was doing something that Tom wanted him to, OK?

"But Tom doesn't like him. I mean that's what he says when he comes in here."

"It's not true, Neelix. Tom likes Chakotay very much."

The Talaxian's pondered her words a moment before becoming agitated again. His fierce of loyalty to Tom coloured his response.

"Does the commander like Tom too?"

"Yes he cares for Tom deeply."

"He loves him?"

"Yes Nelix Chakotay is in love with Tom." She held her hand up preempting Neelix's next question.

"And Tom is in love with Chakotay. The only difference is that Chakotay knows how he feels and Tom doesn't." She clasped the Talaxian's hand in hers. "We just have give them a little time OK? Let them get used to each other before we let them know that we know."

Neelix returned her hold on his hands and grinned in understanding.

"You can count on me, Captain. I won't say a word."

"Thank you Mr Neelix. Now about that punch bowl?"

Bursting back into his role as host, Neelix began retrieving the elements to make his famous Barkian punch.

******

Tom woke to his lover's steady breathing.

Over him were warm soft blankets and under him was a warm solid body. He rubbed his face against the smooth chest beneath his cheek and snuggled deeper into the blankets. Right now it would take a whole task force of angry Klingons to budge him from his position. He'd fight tooth and nail to stay in Chak arms. Yep, he was that far gone and there was no going back.

He was totally, unequivocally, most definitely, not to mention hopelessly in love with Chakotay and he had made a wonderful discovery. It wasn't as scary as he thought it would be. He felt free for the first time in his life. He knew that even if his feelings weren't returned that he was more than he was before. His heart had finally come of age.

That's when the memories hit him. Last night they had left the messhall while he was still in a haze. He vaguely remembered the captain making a path for them through the crowd of bodies and walking them to the doors of their quarters. Christ, Neelix had been there too. After that everything was a blank. Oh well he'd deal with the awkwardness later.

Thanking the stars for their day off Tom nestled back into his love and drifted off to sleep.

*******

Chakotay had felt his lover awake momentarily before he fell back to sleep again. He refrained from tightening his hold till he was sure Tom had resumed his slumber.

Last night he had done what he vowed. He had lost control. While it had been as wonderful as he had hoped it would be, it had also been embarrassing. If not for Kathryn's kind words and understanding last night, he would probably be working himself into a major brooding session right now. Her words rang in his head.

After putting Tom to bed, they had sat in the living area and sipped tea. 

"It's OK Chakotay."

"No it's not and I can't pretend that it is."

The captain put her teacup down and moved closer to her first officer on the lounge.

"It's not a matter of pretending. You were overwhelmed, that's all. It's not a crime Commander, it happens."

Chakotay tipped his head into his hand and covered his eyes.

"Yes but did it have to happen in a public place and in front of Neelix of all people!"

Kathryn could feel the man's anguish. Chakotay was a private person and being caught with his pants down, literally, so openly like that made him feel violated. She tried to lighten his mood before his moral outrage overtook him completely.

"Tell me about it! That bouffant hairdo of his almost blocked my view of the grand finale."

An ebony eye peeked at her between two fingers. Ah she had tweaked his curiosity.

"The grand finale?"

"Yes you know the climax of the performance, no pun intended. If it wouldn't have blown Neelix's grandiose image of me, I would have cheered and yelled encore!"

The hand came down and the corners of his mouth went up momentarily before resetting themselves in an even line.

"I know what you're trying to do Kathryn and it won't work. I'm not going to laugh about this."

"Laugh? Believe me when I say Chakotay, if anything was tickled it was most definitely not my funny bone."

"Kathryn!"

The hand had now moved to his mouth trying to hide his amusement. His embarrassment was evaporating and she had to admit so was her own. Seeing the men so flagrantly hadn't offended her sensibilities, no she was a big girl and had been around. No it was because lately she'd been playing out this very scene in her daydreams. It was a little startling to see her fantasy come to life, not to mention incredibly erotic. Talking like this was liberating and it lifted the guilt she'd been feeling at picturing in her mind two of her senior bridge officers bonking each other.

"Oh please Commander. We're both adults. You have to admit the picture of Tom Paris on his knees like that was incredibly hot."

The commander looked her square in the eye, his stoic Indian mask firmly in place.

"Yes especially from my viewpoint."

The captain choked on a mouthful of tea. The commander reached over and slapped her back a few times.

"You OK?"

She gave him a disgruntled looked and noticed the silly grin was back. Well her work here was done. She made to leave.

"We're not done yet."

"Excuse me?"

"I said we're not done yet. We've discussed my situation and now I think it's time to discuss yours. In fact I'd say it's long overdue."

"I don't have a situation."

She settled back on the lounge. She knew what he was talking about, she just didn't think he had noticed. Maybe he hadn't. She waited for him to elaborate.

"You do and it's six feet tall and blonde." He raised his eyebrows, crinkling his tattoo. "And I'm not talking about Tom."

Oh yeah he had noticed. He was a smart guy, her first officer, and a bit tricky. He knew that after he had opened up to her, her sense fair play would obligate her into doing the same.

"She doesn't know Chakotay and I'm not about to tell her. She trusts me and I don't want to lose that trust by overstepping the bounds of our relationship. She sees me as her mentor, her teacher and nothing more."

Kathryn hugged her arms to her body and shut her eyes. It hurt to actually say the words aloud. She felt Chakotay move closer to her on the lounge and place his arm over her shoulders.

"You can't know that for sure and there are ways of finding out if she returns your feelings without betraying her trust. You could spend more time with her doing something totally recreational. Take her to see Leonardo or maybe involve her in one of your gothic holo novels. Then just wait and see. If nothing develops you're no worse off than you are now, right?"

He was right. She'd let Seven set the pace and if nothing came of it she'd deal with it. It might be hard and she might get hurt but at least she'd know one way or another and be able to move on. Feeling a little better she offered the commander a wry smile.

"How do you know so much, smart guy?"

"Experience. I've had my own six foot blonde to deal with lately, remember?"

Kathryn threw her arms up with her palms out and bowed her head.

"Enough said."

********

"So Obiwan knew all along?"

"Yeah."

"So why didn't he tell Luke at the beginning?"

Tom unfurled himself from Chakotay's side and rolled on top him twisting the bedcovers and blocking the commander's view of the vid screen. 

"It's called a "surprise ending" Chak." Not seeing any comprehension in the big guy's handsome face, he continued. "It's suppose to create suspense and make you want to see the next movie."

"There's a next movie?"

"Yeah, in fact there's ten more. In the fourth one Obiwan is young and is all hot and hunky looking."

Chakotay wrapped his legs around Tom's and shifted his butt until he felt another erection rub his own.

"You like hot and hunky?" He began nibbling at the white flesh of his lover's throat. "What else do you like?"

He liked this, lying in bed naked, watching vids, eating junk food and fucking. All the elements of Tom's idea of a perfect day off were all here right in this room.

"I like hard and horny first officers." He placed his mouth close to Chakotay's ear and whispered. "And I especially like the fifth movie in the Star Wars series."

Before Tom could say "Obiwan Kenobi" he found himself flipped over with his arms braced above his head and his body pinned by Chakotay's.

"I think we've watched enough science fiction for the day. Time for a little real life."

He released one his lover's hands to grab the lube from the bedside table. As he went to flip the cap, long slender fingers plucked the tube from his grasp.

"Chak let me, OK?"

The seriousness of Tom's voice told the commander that he wasn't just talking about spreading the oil on him.

"Chak I want you, understand?"

He understood. Now how did he make Tom understand that this was something he'd never done? How did tell him that no man had ever penetrated him before. Tom already knew.

"Please baby, I won't hurt you, OK?" The knuckles of the lieutenant's free hand feathered softly across his cheek. "And if you don't like it we can stop. I promise."

He already knew he was going to do this. He couldn't deny this beautiful creature anything but he was still scared. This wouldn't be losing control this was giving it over to someone else. He nodded his head and released Tom's other hand.

Tom pulled him down to him, allowing him to remain on top for the moment being the dominant one. As gentle hands smoothed along his sides and undemanding lips took his mouth he really understood. Tom meant to make love to him not just fuck him. His anxiety receded to a more comfortable level.

His lover gradually rolled them on their sides as he continued quieting his fears with easy caresses and soothing phrases. Gradually Tom's movements became more fervent and hurried. The slow build up was taking its toll, both their penises were leaking and aching for friction.

"Oh baby, I need to be inside you now."

Chakotay retrieved the lube and pressed into Tom's hand as lifted his body to rest on his knees and elbows. Heard the cap pop and soon after warm liquid between the cheeks of his ass. His lover spooned behind him covering his back with his chest and stroked his cock with an oiled hand. He felt warm breathing at the nape of his neck.

"It's OK love, just relax." He felt a finger rim his anus. "Remember if you want to stop just say so." A finger entered him. He concentrated on relaxing his muscles. "That's right love, just go with it."

Tom gently inserted another moving slowly stretching his entrance. There was some pain and then incredible pleasure as his lover brushed his prostate. Spirits is this what Tom felt when he was inside him? He barely noticed that his lover was still fondling his erection. Suddenly the fingers were gone and he felt bereft.

"Please Tom don't stop."

"I won't love, I won't."

The brief flare of pain was replaced quickly by sense of being filled as his lover entered him slowly. When he felt the tickle of hair against his skin he almost came in the knowledge that Tom now totally possessed him. Then real ecstasy began as he started moving in and out of him.

"Oh gods, Chakotay!"

Tom was close to coming. Wanting Chakotay to come off with him, he worked his love's erection in time with thrusts. It wasn't long before he felt a warm stickiness cover his palm.

"Tom!"

"Oh fuck, oh fuck, ohhhh…"

He let go of Chakotay's cock moving both his hands to his hips crashing into his lover a few final times before he released his seed deep inside him.

They fell to their sides both men gasping and glistening with sweat.

Tom felt Chakotay breath even out and fall into the rhythm of sleep. Trying not to wake him he pulled the covers up from the end of the bed and threw an arm over his lover's abdomen spooning against him.

Now he understood. Chak have given him a gift. No matter what happened to them after the Mikans left, Tom would always have the knowledge that he was the first. He kissed the nape of his lover's neck.

"I love you Chakotay."

As he felt an arm tighten over his, he drifted into contented slumber.

Go to Part Two