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Disclaimer: Voyager and her crew belong to Paramount and not me. Whatever.
Summary: Life is but a dream.
Mocha Fudge a la Chakotay. Perfect!
Tom walked along the corridor lost in his thoughts, not noticing the odd looks Voyager's night shift crew gave him as he passed. Not that he would have cared. Especially when he was indulging himself in his favorite daydream of making out with the commander.
The melting ice cream would pool in the well between Chak's collarbones and dribble around the base of his pectoral muscles down his sides and on to the bed. Leaning over the recumbent commander, Tom would snake out his tongue and lap up the sticky mess relishing the exquisite mixture of sweetness and saltiness. Chak would groan, no he'd growl for more and then they would fuck until neither one of them could say their name.
In his imagination, Tom hadn't yet decided whether he liked topping or letting the big hunky commander top him since both positions had their appeal. Usually he just alternated back and forth with a creativity that would be impossible to achieve in real life.
Tom pulled out of his fantasy for only for a moment to navigate a corner but it was long enough and he lost the thread of the dream. Returning to reality, he worried over the frequency of his mental escapes that until recently had only been confined to the privacy of his quarters. However, the pilot's confusion didn't mean that he was going to give them up, because one thing he did understand was that he needed them desperately.
Tom Paris was lonely. He'd found no solace or true companionship with anyone aboard Voyager and had turned to his fantasies for company. They gave him some measure of comfort even if they weren't real and probably never would be.
He was fully aware that his relationship with Chak would never expand beyond its present professional level. It couldn't, because in real life the commander liked women and not sexually frustrated chief pilots. Since there wasn't much Tom could do about that, he'd retreated into his imagination.
Many a night Tom had fallen asleep with his hand on his dick after pretending he'd just blown his load deep in the commander's bowels. So what if it wasn't real, it felt pretty damn good and that's what mattered, wasn't it?
Reaching his destination, Tom reached up and pressed the chime on the door pad. After about ten seconds the panels swished opened and he heard the rumbling voice of his dream lover speak.
"What the hell are you doing here?"
Ignoring the less than enthusiastic welcome, the pilot slipped around Chakotay and entered. The commander left the doorway allowing the doors to close and followed the lieutenant into the interior of his cabin. When Tom turned around, a half-naked first officer stood before him. Wearing only his sleep pants and a disgruntled face, Chakotay waited.
"I brought you those navigational recommendations you asked for." Tom extended his arm and held out a PADD.
"Now?" Chakotay rubbed his hand down his face. "It must be after midnight Lieutenant."
"Just." Tom offered the PADD again.
"What?" The big man sighed heavily and held his hand out palm up. "Fine, give."
Tom placed the slim instrument in Chak's hand carefully trying to avoid touching any of the dusky skin. It was bad enough just seeing its velvet smoothness without becoming physically aroused. The commander walked over to lounge and with his back to Tom, placed a hand at the base of his skull and stretched. As Chakotay's body extended, the top of his sleep pants slipped lower on his hips exposing the dimples at the base of his spine.
Holy mother of god, the man was gorgeous and watching the unconscious way Chak moved, Tom bet he didn't have a clue as to how horny he was making his junior officer. Thankful for the dimness of the cabin, the pilot quickly moved to take a seat on the couch and placed his hands over his straining erection.
Chakotay raised a brow to him, crinkling his tattoo.
"You're staying?"
"Yeah for the feedback."
"I hadn't planned on reading it tonight."
"No?" He bit back his disappointment. Tom wasn't ready to leave the sight of that incredible body just yet.
Interpreting the pilot's crestfallen look incorrectly, the commander picked up the PADD. "All right but only if you don't make a habit of dropping by my quarters in the dead of night."
"Whatever you say big guy." He gave the commander his brightest smile.
Using his thumb to bring the PADD to life, Chakotay sat within inches of him on the lounge. Blowing his breath out through his mouth, Tom tried to ignore the man's earthy scent as it permeated his sinuses. Chakotay took no notice of Tom's discomfort and began to read the document illuminated on the small screen.
With the feelings he held for Chakotay, it was dangerous for him to be here. Bit by bit Tom could feel himself losing control of his sexually charged body and his over stimulated brain. Tom knew he should leave before he did something stupid but was unable to tear himself away.
"Through the nebula here?" Chakotay pointed to a passage on the PADD.
Swinging his arm up along the back of the couch behind the commander, Tom leaned forward. "Uh yeah." He moved a little closer so he could tap at the screen and their legs touched. "Voyager and I can handle the rougher ride and it'll save us a few days traveling time."
"Good work Lieutenant."
"Just a walk in the park, Commander." He moved his head back but left his arm and his thigh where they were. "You can call me Tom you know."
"All right. Good work Tom." Chakotay gave him a curious look and went back to his reading.
To maintain the body contact, Tom pretended to read long with the commander. It was a foolish thing to do but it didn't matter because it was all ready too late. By now his body was displaying all the classic signs of arousal. Flushed cheeks, laboured breathing, dilated pupils and raging hard on trying to escape the confines of his pants. The next time Chakotay looked up, he'd see a horny lieutenant and not an efficient one and then it would be game over.
Chakotay would kick his ass out of his quarters so fast his blond head would spin and he would lose the opportunity of ever touching the handsome man again. Gazing down at Chak's smooth muscled chest, Tom decided if he was going to be kicked out anyway, he might as well go out with a bang.
Curling his elevated hand around Chakotay far shoulder, Tom dipped his head down to touch the closer one with his lips.
"Tom?"
Stopping his oral exploration of the commander's brown velvet shoulder, Tom looked up into his stunned face.
"Chak I know you're going to punch my lights outs for this but I can't help it."
Using his free hand, the pilot grasped the lower portion of the commander's face and dived in for a kiss. Chak didn't move and Tom took advantage of his immobility to deepen the contact. It wasn't until he tried to breach Chakotay's full soft lips with his tongue did he encounter resistance.
"No!"
With an incredible amount of force, Chakotay pushed at Tom's chest and he was thrown backwards into the glass coffee table. As Tom blacked out, he heard the sound of something breaking and hoped it wasn't him.
********
"Will he be all right?"
"He did experience severe traumatic injury to his right temporal lobe but I've repaired that and quite creatively too I might add."
"But will he be all right?" The captain folded her arms and looked at him as if he was a wayward child and not a skilled surgeon. She wanted an answer to her question, unfortunately the EMH didn't know quite how to give her one.
"I think so, there was no permanent damage."
"You think so?"
"Well I've done all I can and now it's up to the lieutenant."
"Tom's in a coma, what the hell is he supposed to do in that condition!" The previously uncommunicative commander broke his silence for the first time since beaming the lieutenant to Sickbay.
"He could come back!"
The EMH hadn't meant to yell. He could see that the first officer was stressed but damn it so was he. He had done everything possible and impossible to save the lieutenant's life. It wasn't his fault if the young man refused to co-operate.
The captain pulled the commander aside. "I'm sure what the doctor means is that he's done what he can and it's only matter of time before the lieutenant wakes up from the coma." She ran her hand soothingly over Chakotay's arm. "In essence the rest is up to Tom. He'll come back to us when he's ready."
"No Captain that's not what I meant. Tom's not in a coma."
She rounded on him. "Then why isn't he awake? You said there was no permanent damage."
"There isn't. If and when the lieutenant decides to return to his body, it will function as before."
Her brows furrowed. "If and when? You've lost me Doctor."
"You have to first understand that Tom's injury was complicated. A glass shard had bisected the temporal lobe region of his brain where both long and short-term memories are controlled. Essentially that's where your id or your personality would reside. Understand?"
"Yes. Go on."
"I realized that if I operated on the damaged area he would live but his behavior would be affected. Tom would have trouble remembering and very likely become aggressively unstable."
"But you found a way around this."
"Yes Captain. To avoid damage to his personality, I removed its engrams before surgery."
"And put them where?"
Unconsciously the EMH's eyes moved to his medical console.
Abhorrence filled Janeway's face. "You downloaded my chief pilot into the computer?"
"Yes where he would be safe. I've done it successfully before and I had no reason to believe it wouldn't work this time. Unfortunately when I went back to the file where I saved the lieutenant he wasn't there."
Chakotay's booming voice filled Sickbay. "Where the hell is he then!"
"In the computer, somewhere. I tried to retrieve him but whenever I get close to the lieutenant, he transfers himself to another directory and another system. Tom doesn't want to come back Commander."
"Why not?"
Tired of being in the hot seat, the EMH fired back. "You're the councilor Commander, you tell me."
Chakotay's faced reddened and his tone softened. "Can we talk to him?"
"I suppose so but I'm not sure if he'll listen. He's not the same Tom you're used to. He's a collection of thoughts, feelings and memories now and I'm not sure of his capacity to reason."
"He's like a child." Captain Janeway added.
"A child with memories of being a man." Chakotay touched the hand of the young man lying on the bio-bed. "So what do we do Doctor?"
"Wait until he wants to grow up."
********
He was flying!
Gone were the corporal instruments of navigation, with just a thought he was able to soar and sweep through the starry expanse of the cosmos. It was glorious and incredibly liberating which was a definite improvement over terrifying and confusing.
When Tom had first come to, he had found himself incarcerated in a narrow cell. His first reaction had been panic. Auckland had burned some very deep emotional scars into his psyche, the fear of small places being one of them. It was only after his anxiety had gone down a notch or two, did he realized that he had the power to leave and he did. Fast. When he had gotten far enough away, Tom had stopped to take stock of his surroundings.
Everything was made of sparkling light and energy or at least he thought so. He didn't actually see or feel here, no nothing as substantial as that. It was more like sensing or just knowing. Now all he had to do was figure out where the fuck 'here' was.
He had no body so maybe he was in heaven. No that couldn't right because Tom was pretty sure if there was such a place it would have been a lot harder for 'him' to get in. Maybe he was dreaming or maybe this was something like Chakotay's spirit world. Oh fuck Chakotay.
All at once the memories came crashing back into Tom's consciousness. He had kissed the commander and the commander had hit him hard enough to land him in Sickbay but that's not where he was, well not entirely anyway. Like watching a vid screen, Tom saw in his mind's eye what had transpired and what his current location was.
He was in Voyager's computer or at least the thinking part of him was. The Doc had transferred him here so he could fix the damage caused by the glass fragment. Easily accessing the medical database, Tom saw the surgery and the EMH's attempts to retrieve his consciousness after his flight from the cell. Cool.
Flexing his new mental muscles further, Tom manipulated Voyager's video monitors to view the scene in the infirmary. Seeing his motionless body lying on a bio-bed was a bit disturbing but seeing Chakotay was worse. The commander was royally pissed and why not? His junior officer had made an unsolicited play for him, totally trampling the chain of command and offending his heterosexual sensibilities. This was not a party the pilot was in any hurry to return to.
Tom decided to take a lap around Voyager's matrix first before returning to face the music. After visiting the messhall, Harry's quarters and a few other familiar locals, Tom had found his way to the bridge and to his most favorite place on the ship, the helm.
While banking to the left to avoid the gravity well of an over large asteroid before Baytart had a chance to adjust the ship's course, Tom spied the ultimate joy ride, the nebula.
Cool.
********
"Tom made a pass at you?"
Kathryn said the last word incredulously. Chakotay sat forward in his chair and rested his elbows on the captain's desk in her ready room.
"Yes me. Is that so hard to believe?"
"Frankly yes. Personally I thought it would be the other way around." Her voice was light and playful. Chakotay's was not.
"Men aren't my thing Kathryn."
"Yes, yes I know but Tom isn't just a man to you and you know it."
He did know it but he hadn't known the captain did. Tom stimulated Chakotay's awareness more than any other officer had in his long career in and out of Starfleet had but that didn't mean he wanted to kiss the lieutenant. Hurling a prospective lover into a glass table wasn't his usual mode of seduction. The captain's voice broke into his brooding.
"It was an accident Chakotay and that's how I intend to record it in my log."
"No you can't. I hurt him and I deserve a reprimand or some kind of punishment for my actions."
Kathryn stood up and rounded her desk to stand beside him. Chakotay sat back in his chair and gave his captain a sideways glance.
"It's all ready done Commander and as for punishment, I think your unfounded guilt will do that for you enough."
"But he's not coming back because of me. I refused him."
"You can't know that. The doctor said he's emotionally impaired not heart broken. Maybe he's just busy playing."
"Either way it's still my fault."
"Oh for crying out loud Chakotay get over yourself. All Tom did was try to kiss you. You're the one with the fixation not him remember?" She padded his shoulder. "He'll come back."
"He didn't try Kathryn, he 'did' kiss me and he told me he couldn't help it."
Before she could come back with another meaningless rationalization, the ship rocked.
"Captain to the bridge."
********
"The helm's not responding Captain."
"Bypass auxiliary control and transfer to manual."
"I tried that. It didn't work." Baytart didn't look up as his fingers flew in constant motion across Voyager's helm. "We're still heading for the nebula."
"Is that going to be a problem Ensign?"
Voyager's present helmsman turned to the captain. "If I can't access navigation control it could be." Without embarrassment Ensign Pablo Baytart continued. "I'm not sure if I have the experience or the talent to take us through but I do know that on its own, Voyager definitely doesn't. The autopilot won't be able to adjust to the nebula's gravitational fluxes fast enough. We'll break apart."
A bad day just got worse. Kathryn was about to contact Engineering to order the warp core off line when Chakotay rose from his seat beside her to approach Baytart.
"You're relieved Ensign."
"Sir?" Not relinquishing his post, the dark haired junior officer looked from his first officer to his captain.
With his hand on the back the helm's chair, Chakotay looked at her. "It's Tom."
"You're sure?"
"Yes." Urgency tinged his voice. "Trust me, please."
In the span of a instant, the captain considered how many times her first officer had asked that of her and of how many times she had regretted doing so.
"Ensign you're dismissed." She tipped her head in Chakotay's direction. "Do it."
In one fluid motion Chakotay's body replaced Pablo's at the helm. As the ship slipped into the realm of the nebula, her first officer reigned in Voyager like a wrangler taming a wild horse.
With firm but gentle hands, the Chakotay steadied the big ship's course while still allowing it to kick up its heels. The inertia dampers and external shields strained at the bit but held. They emerged from the celestial body with minimal damage. When her stomach stopped its flip-flopping, Janeway addressed her first officer cum spaceship cowboy.
"Good work Commander."
Chakotay ran his hands over the navigational console tenderly before swinging around in his chair. The panel lit up like a rainbow.
"Just a walk in the park, Captain."
********
"Chakotay?"
"Tom?"
"Yeah."
"Where are you?"
"Everywhere, I think."
In the darkness of his bedroom, Chakotay sat up. The brightly woven replica of his grandmother's wedding blanket fell around his waist. He spoke again in hope to hear again that familiar but disembodied voice.
"Are you OK?"
"I think so." There was a pause. "I'm sorry."
"For the nebula?" Chakotay shifted his pillow behind his back. "It's OK. No harm, no foul. You were right, it did shave days off our journey."
"I'm not talking about the nebula."
"Then I suppose I'm the one that should be the apologizing."
"No you didn't do anything wrong, I did."
"I overreacted and hurt you."
"Yeah baby you did do that but under the circumstances, I suppose I would have done the same thing."
"Really?"
"Well no maybe not really. I think I would have kissed you back just to see."
"You're biased."
"Hell yes I am. Fuck Chakotay do you know how sexy you are to me?"
"Tom, I'm not into men."
"And you know that how?"
"I just know it."
"Have you ever been with a man? Just to see what it's like?"
"That's personal."
"Oh fuck Chak, give me a break. I'm hanging out here in the netherworld because I got personal with you."
"OK then yes. It wasn't anything spectacular."
"He didn't turn you on?"
"No."
"Tell me what he did."
"He kissed me and touched me. It left me cold."
"Is that how you felt when I kissed you? Cold?"
A pause. "No, not exactly." Another pause. "Tom you have to come back."
"I will but first you have to do something for me."
"What?"
"Give me a chance to make you feel spectacular."
"No."
"What are you afraid of Chakotay?"
"Nothing. Come back Tom."
A silence quieter than the dead of space, infiltrated the room so long the commander thought that maybe the pilot had left.
"Tom are you still there?"
"Yeah."
"Are you coming back?"
"I'm not sure. Meet me on holodeck two and we'll talk."
The room went silent and this time Chakotay knew Tom was really gone. He threw back the covers of his bed and began to dress. There was no question of meeting the pilot on the holodeck. Voyager, the captain and the crew needed the pilot back at his post and if that meant meeting the pilot in a battle of wits in virtual reality, Chakotay had his answer and knew his duty.
Chakotay would show the young man that he couldn't be blackmailed by his passions. That he couldn't tantalized be a pretty face and a lithesome body. It would be easy or as Tom would say, it would be a walk in the park.
So OK if it was only that, then why were his hands trembling and his palms sweating?
*******
What in the hell did he think he was doing?
A little song and dance on the holodeck wasn't going to change Chakotay's mind no matter how good of a dancer Tom was. So knowing that, what did he hope to accomplish by calling the commander out?
Maybe he just wanted to the commander to understand his wayward feelings or what was more likely, this was just another excuse to see that gloriously dark body again and feed his fantasies. The latter made more sense.
This was the opportunity of a lifetime. Tom had heard the discussion in Sickbay regarding his doubtful ability to reason and although he didn't put any stock in it, he knew he could use it to his advantage. Anything he did in his altered state, Tom could blame on temporary insanity later.
The pilot laughed mentally. It was pretty good reasoning for a crazy man. As joy infused his soul, the scene Tom had created for the commander in the holodeck sparkled.
********
It was breath taking.
Chakotay looked up into the clear blue sky as the cries of seagulls caught his ear. He lifted his hand to shade his eyes from the brilliant sun and watched them soar a while before kicking off his slippers to traverse across the sand towards the shore.
As he walked a warm baja wind caressed his face and white crested waves lapped lazily at the shell-dappled beach in a harmonic rhythm that soothed his jangled nerves. Relaxing into the scene, Chakotay removed his tee shirt and rolled up the cuffs of his sleep pants to wet his feet in the surf. With his hands on his hips, he scanned the coast for Tom.
Nothing man made, including the lost pilot entered his field of vision. Following the line of surf, Chakotay moved down the beach. After a few meters he detected a shimmering in the holo-matrix and encountered a lone brightly woven blanket spread over the sand. Taking it as an invitation, Chakotay lowered himself crossed legged down the replica of his grandmother's rug and waited. He didn't have to wait long.
In a swirl of coloured light, Tom appeared before him or at least a version of the man did. This image of the pilot wore his blond hair shoulder length and his normally ivory skin was tanned. Fascinated by the beautiful being before him, Chakotay's eyes followed a line of golden hair down the younger man's flat belly that disappeared under the waistband of his swim trunks. When he heard Tom's chuckle, he corrected his visual trajectory and looked up into a familiar bright smile.
"You like?"
Embarrassed by his reaction to the pilot's near nude form, Chakotay answered gruffly. "It's different."
"Only a little. Most of this," Tom swept his hand down over his body before depositing himself beside the commander. "Is me. I just added a little colour."
Concentrating on the crash of the waves to bleed the blush out his cheeks, Chakotay got to the point of his summons.
"I'm here. Now what do you want?"
"Well besides universal peace and your body slathered in honey,"
"Tom." His voice was curt.
"OK, OK maybe honey not the best lube for a beach." Tom shifted on the blanket to face him. "Seriously Chak all I want is for you to understand how I feel."
"Come back to your body and we can discuss it."
"No that's the real world and in that reality I can't have you."
"You can't have me here either."
"Maybe not but at least here, in our own private baja we can turn the emotional safeties off. This is a dream Chakotay. We can do anything here and tomorrow when we wake up it will be over."
"And you'll go back?"
"Yeah and I promise I'll never make a pass you again."
Chakotay eyed the pilot speculatively. Desire fairly beamed from the man's crystal blue orbs as the ocean breeze threaded its wispy fingers through his sun-bleached hair.
The doctor had been wrong. This collection of thought patterns was perfectly sane and uncannily cunning. No child would come up with such a hedonistic plan. This was just another sexual ploy but Chakotay admitted it might also be an opportunity for him to break the enchantment that had bound his spirit for so long.
So tonight the commander would explore his feelings and tomorrow hold the pilot to his promise. Intending to gain some control of the situation and seduce his would be seducer; Chakotay turned his body to face Tom's.
"Show me how you feel Tom."
********
Holy fuck Chakotay said yes.
It had been what he was hoping for, but Tom was unprepared for the seemingly easy victory. Suddenly unsure on how to proceed, he rose from the blanket and walked towards the shore. Squishing his toes into the wet sand, Tom focused on the sensation. It was cool and slippery causing the hairs on his arms to stand on end. The pilot let his breath out in relief as his programmed form behaved as his corporal one would, well so far anyway.
"Tom?"
The commander came up behind him. So gently that Tom thought it was the wind, Chakotay lifted a tress of his new longer hair and tucked it behind his ear. A soft kiss was planted on the now exposed skin of his neck and Tom trembled.
"Do you like that?" A sultry voice whispered into Tom's ear.
"Yes." Tom leaned back into Chakotay and closed his eyes.
"And do you like this?"
Strong hands slid up his sides and over his chest. As the kisses returned to his nape, Tom felt his nipples captured and teased into hardness. Arousal began to flare through his neural pathways but while it felt incredible, it was also impersonal. Except for the kissing, Tom could pretty much do this much for himself. Needing to feed off Chakotay's mutual passion, he twisted in the big man's embrace to gaze into his eyes but when he did, Tom saw only confusion and determination.
"Did I do it wrong?"
The commander was only going through the motions and that wasn't good enough. In every one of Tom's fantasies, Chakotay had wanted to fuck him and had taken supreme joy in bringing Tom to orgasm. The reality of the commander's indifference was destroying the dream and it wasn't worth the sacrifice. It would leave him with nothing to go back for. Tom pulled from the big man's arms.
"No Chak you did it just right but you don't have to do it anymore." He walked back to the blanket. "You can go."
"Go?" Chakotay followed him. "But nothing happened."
"Yeah something did. It just wasn't what I expected." His commanding officer stepped closer and searched his face.
"Tom we need to resolve this."
"No we don't." Fighting back his sorrow, Tom accessed the computer to program a facade of composure on his holographic face. "Look Commander don't worry, tomorrow I'll go back and I promise I'll never ask you for anything like this again."
"I'm not leaving."
Unable to digitally manipulate his emotions like he could his appearance, Tom's disappointment dissolved into anger at the man's persistence.
"Fine then stay, I don't give a flying fuck. I'll leave."
Indulging himself one last time, Tom grabbed the commander's face and gave him full opened mouth kiss. It was hard and brutal and not the least bit loving. Without releasing his hold on Chakotay's mouth, he left the holodeck.
As he winked out of existence, Tom thought he felt Chakotay begin to kiss him back but dismissed the fanciful thought blaming it on his over active imagination.
********
You bastard!
In the dimness of Sickbay, Chakotay ran his fingers gently through the silky hair of Tom's unconscious form. His raging emotions were in direct contrast to his tender gesture.
After Tom's hasty exit from holodeck two, Chakotay had fallen flat on his ass on his grandmother's wedding rug. Every synapse in his brain had fired simultaneously with understanding. With one savage kiss, Tom had stripped Chakotay of restraint and a barrier in his mind had broken.
Desire had no gender and love was beyond control.
Since the first day he had met the infuriating blond, Tom had become a part of him and now he knew why. Chakotay had fallen in love with Tom. It was only because the package of his desire was so different from what he was normally used to, that he failed to recognize the emotion for what it was. It had only when it had been thrown in face like a bucket of cold water, that the commander had awoken to its reality.
Unfortunately the pilot had fled writing him off as a lost cause before he'd had a chance to tell him. Cursing the young man's lack of faith, Chakotay had spent the better part of an hour searching the ship's systems for him in vain before giving up and coming to Sickbay.
"Can I help you with something Commander."
Chakotay broke from his silent rage and addressed the EMH with his usual calm keeping his eyes focused on his beloved.
"Thank you Doctor but we're fine." He ran the tips of his fingers across the pilot's pale brow. "Or we will be just as soon as he comes to."
"We?"
"Yes we." Chakotay turned defiantly towards the EMH. Spirits he was sick to death of holograms tonight. "Do you have a problem seeing that?"
"No Commander I wasn't the one with the image problem." With that caustic remark, the holo-doc retreated back into his office.
********
You Bastard!
Tom pushed himself away from the terminal in his quarters after reading another message from Chakotay begging to speak to him.
Damn it, the man didn't know when to leave well enough alone. It was fucking first officer's need to play ship's councilor that kept the issue alive. After returning to his body, he had kept up his end of the bargain and had stayed away. Tom wanted nothing more than to forget the love and the resulting pain the big man had awoken in him on the holodeck.
Hell he hadn't even fantasized about dark man these last couple of days because it wasn't just about fucking anymore. It was about making love and unlike before, it hurt too much to even think about something he'd never have. Now if only Chak would give up his incessant badgering and leave him alone, Tom could get on with his miserable life.
Heaving his dejected body from the chair, Tom headed for his bedroom with intention of turning in early. Halfway to his destination his vision blurred and floor beneath his feet softened causing his balance to fail.
As Tom reached for the doorjamb to catch his fall, it vanished and he fell face first into sand.
********
"What the hell?"
"Are you OK?"
Tom flipped over on to his back, spitting sand and shaking the excess out of his blond hair. When he was done getting the beach out of his mouth, he used it to talk.
"Fuck Chakotay send me back!"
"I will but first you have to do something for me."
"What?" The pilot sat up.
"Make me feel spectacular."
"No."
"What are you afraid of Tom?"
"Nothing. Send me back Chakotay."
"No."
"Fine. Then I'll leave the old fashioned way."
The pilot got up and began to head for the holodeck's arch. Not about to lose him after breaching protocol to get him here, Chakotay blocked Tom's exit.
"Computer engage security lock, Chakotay Beta-two."
A beautiful face flushed in anger rounded on him. Spirits how could have he gone so long without noticing how incredibly attractive the young man was.
"I don't want this anymore Chak, let me go."
"No."
Tom rolled his eyes in frustration. "No? Can't you say anything else?"
Not being able to pass up an opening like that, the commander stepped up to his reluctant lover. Tom made to move back but Chakotay stopped him by curling his palm around the young man's nape.
"Yes I can say I want you."
"What?"
"And I need you."
"Me?"
"And I love you." Chakotay kissed Tom's lips softly. "And I need your help to do all three."
Bafflement replaced anger as Tom's hands came up to clutch at the jacket of Chakotay's uniform.
"This can't be real. You're not into men."
"No not other men but I am into you and once upon a time I thought you were into me." Chakotay pried Tom's trembling fingers from his chest and held them tight. "Has that changed Tom? If it has, I will send you back to your cabin."
"You want me to make you feel spectacular?"
In his confusion the pilot had gone back to the commander's original request. Chakotay wasn't sure if his declaration of love had even gotten through to Tom's muddled brain and as a result felt guilty for pushing the blond too hard. He'd had a rough couple of days and hearing his commanding officer say I love you was probably more than he could process right now. Trying to give the pilot back some measure of control, Chakotay phrased his response carefully.
"Yes and I want to make you feel the same way but you'll have to show me how."
Clarity returned to the crystal blue eyes that had haunted his soul for longer than Chakotay could remember.
"I could do that." Tom looked at him with hunger. "And don't care if I'm dreaming or not I'm going to make you want me so bad you'll beg me to take you."
This time it was Chakotay's turn to tremble.
********
I want you. I need you. I love you.
Chakotay had said all of those words and now it was too late for him to take them back. They had all ready burned over the previous scars that marred his soul and were indelible. The enormity of the healing so overwhelmed Tom that he found his own words back would be inadequate. Only actions would suffice. This would be Chakotay's first time and Tom would make sure it was what he asked for, spectacular.
"We'll need a blanket and some lube."
"Over there." Chakotay's voice was unsteady for the first time since his kidnapping as he pointed towards the edge of the surf.
"OK baby lets go."
When they reached their destination Chakotay began removing his clothes. He had his jacket off before Tom could stop him.
"Your job are the shoes Chak, the rest is mine."
Nodding, the commander kicked off his footwear and stood in the middle of the blanket waiting.
"Now just watch. I want you to see what you're getting."
In slow measured movements designed to tantalize, Tom disrobed. As each piece of clothing hit the beach and more of his white flesh was revealed, Chakotay's breathing deepened. The man's arousal stoked his own and by the time he was totally nude, Tom's cock was bursting with fullness.
"Can I touch you?"
"Of course." Tom spread his arms. "All that you see is yours."
"Mine." Chakotay said decisively and reached forward to splay his hand over the right side of his chest. "All of you? Even your heart?"
"Yes."
The hand moved upward slipping around Tom's neck and for the third time in as many days, their lips met. However this time it was Chakotay doing the kissing. After first tasting his bottom lip then his top, the commander's tongue slid over his teeth and into Tom's mouth. Moaning the pilot gave himself over to the commander's oral ministrations thinking this was one thing the big guy needed no tutoring in.
When he felt Chakotay erection bump against his hip in time with the pulsing tongue, he broke the contact for fear of coming prematurely over the front of the commander's trousers. With more haste than he had planned, Tom quickly removed the big man's uniform and pushed him down to the blanket.
"Now it's time for me to touch you."
Reclining on one elbow, Tom lay beside Chakotay, eating up with his eyes the body that had been the stuff of dreams. The dusky skin was rich in texture and scented lightly with musk and soap. Tom reached out a hand to stroke its beauty starting at the commander's chin, trailing down over his throat to his chest. After doing a figure eight encircling both dark nipples, the pilot's fingers flicked over the washboard stomach to rest just below Chakotay's navel. Now it was time to taste.
Biting Chakotay's bottom lip affectionately, Tom's tongue started to follow the course his hand had taken. However this time he spent more time on each nipple, tasting, tugging and sucking until the commander began to squirm before traveling downwards. The next part would involve both tasting and touching.
Sitting back on his heels between the darker man's legs, Tom looked at Chakotay through his lashes. The first officer's arms were thrown back over his head and his dark eyes were closed. Drinking in Chakotay's ecstasy, Tom frantically explored the older man's rigid cock and heavy balls with his hands. When the tip of his index finger dipped into the commander's anus, Chak's eyes flew open.
"What are you going to do?"
Chakotay's question reminded Tom that this wasn't the voracious lover from his fantasy but a man who was a virgin when it came to same sex intercourse. Oh he probably knew the mechanics of it, being the ship's councilor but his hands on experience was limited. Tom needed to shelve his wild visions for the time being and concentrate on making Chakotay's first time pleasurable. Lovingly, almost reverently, he slowed his pace and stroked the insides of nervous commander's upper thighs.
"I'm going to make love you if you let me." Tom let his fingers inch a little higher to the hipbones. "You know how that works right?"
Chakotay began to relax into his tender caresses. "Sort of. What do I do?"
"Nothing." He brushed at the moisture that seeped from Chakotay's penis with a fingertip. "Just lay back and trust me. OK?"
Tom placed his damp fingers into his mouth and licked them. Chakotay's eyes follow the action with interest.
"OK."
Shifting back, Tom lowered his head and took the head of Chakotay's cock between his lips and tongued the slit. After a few teasing flicks, the pilot felt strong hands in his blond hair and the entirety of the member was shoved inside his mouth. The reaction was instinctual and maybe a tad more forceful than he expected but Tom went with it and relaxed his throat so Chakotay could pump freely.
While the man beneath him focused on fucking the warm, wet familiarity, Tom lashed out his hand for the lube. Talented fingers, tempered by long hours of playing the helm with the excellence of a virtuoso, popped the cap and squeezed it contents over a set of balls tight with arousal. Chakotay flinched slightly at the coolness of the oil but continued to make love to Tom's mouth.
Tom greased his fingers in the flow and inserted them into the commander's tight opening careful to avoid brushing the prostate and sending the groaning man into premature orgasm. With that done, Tom took back control. Placing his palms on Chakotay's hips to stop his thrusting, the pilot raised his head.
The commander sobbed at the loss but said nothing and no wonder. His body was shaking in small tremors and his eyes were unfocused. Chakotay was so incredibly turned on right now; Tom would be surprised if the big man knew his name.
"Tom?" Surprise, surprise will wonders never cease.
"I'm here big guy."
The pilot moved up and propped the commander's legs up with his forearms. Kissing him gently, Tom replaced the friction his mouth gave with his groin. When Chakotay's hips resumed their rocking, he slid a hand down between their bodies to place the tip of his cock at his lover's prepared entrance. He removed his hand and pressed forward.
Tom had wanted to go slowly but as before when he had tried to give the commander a slow leisurely blowjob his wants were overruled again. As soon as the tip of his penis brushed Chakotay's prostate, the big man roared and used his well-muscled arms to lever up his torso to deepen the contact.
"Oh fuck, Chakotay!"
Unable to help himself, Tom wildly rammed himself repeatedly into the very un-virgin like man beneath him. Fucking Chakotay like this like a dream come true, only better if that were possible and when he felt the hot rush of Chakotay's orgasm against his belly, Tom knew it was.
As he felt his own release burst from him, Tom buried his cock as deep as it would go into his lover and heard Chakotay gasp.
It was a sound Tom would never forget.
********
In a jumble of arms and legs they separated briefly before finding each other again, lying side by side so they could see the other's image.
"So was it spectacular?"
"It was more than that."
"So does that mean you might like to do it again?"
"Yes but I think I might like try to do the same for you."
"Oh don't worry big guy, you did."
"That's not what I meant."
"You're sure you wouldn't want a few more demonstrations first?"
"No I think I've got the gist of it. I'm a fast learner."
"That would be an understatement."
"Is that a complaint?"
"No sir, Commander, sir."
"Good. Now come here Lieutenant and tell me you love me."
"I've always been here and I've always loved you."
"I see that now."
"Finally."
THE END
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