Cat’s-eye

By Morticia

Part Eleven

It took a moment for his words to sink in, as though the volume of his cry had rendered the meaning of the words insensible. Then, slowly, Tom's expression of happy pride at his newfound understanding of Quantum Physics began to melt off his face as though blow-torched by the heat of Chakotay's rage. Tom's expression became a mask of pain and betrayal, in which two blue eyes began to drown with fresh tears.

Although witnessing the shattered grief on Tom's face hurt so much that it felt as though he'd plunged a knife into his own guts, Chakotay sighed with a weary sense of satisfaction as the hitching sobs and tear-flooded eyes clearly indicated that his rejection had finally gone home. Yet his relief was short lived. When he saw the full result of his own cruel rejection, Chakotay's good intentions wavered. It wasn't so easy to tell himself that he was denying his own desire merely for Tom's own good when he was forced to witness the after-effects of his words. 

Stripped of hope after he'd offered his heart so freely only to clearly be found wanting. Tom seemed to crumble into himself, hugging his chest in misery and seeming to become physically smaller and more insubstantial in front of Chakotay's eyes.

Chakotay had never seen Tom laid so bare before. Gone was the mask of assurance, the illusion of confidence, the smile that pretended arrogance and all that was left in its place was a young man so seemingly fragile that just one more harsh word might disintegrate him. It wasn't only heart-breaking to witness but Tom's vulnerability called to Chakotay even more strongly than his previous mainly physical desires. This was the Tom who wrote poetry, the Tom that Greg had described as desperately lonely, the Tom who longed to be loved by someone, *anyone*, the Tom who believed himself so unworthy of attention that he was willing to play second-fiddle to Starfleet and duty and anything else that came first to Kathryn.

It was horrifically clear to Chakotay that the Tom who was accepting defeat wasn't the symbiont side of Tom. It was whatever remained of the true Tom Paris. No matter how strong the impulses of love and lust that struggled for dominance in Grrchek/Tom's beleaguered mind, neither emotion was stronger than the real Tom's own feelings of inadequacy. It was sickening for Chakotay to realize that the only true emotion he could inspire within the possessed pilot was a resurgence of his own self-hatred and so it was heart-breaking to understand that Tom truly felt so unworthy of love that Chakotay's rejection had more power over him than the Grrchek's machinations.

Yet, he'd temporarily broken the Grrchek's spell over Tom and, as the younger man sobbed his way to the replicator and choked out a request for a small knife, Chakotay forced himself to lie back on the bed and let his tense muscles relax in anticipation of his impending freedom.

It was harder to keep his face under control, though, as Tom crept back to his side. Face flushed and downcast, so that a steady stream of tears were dripping down his cheeks and splashing onto his chest, Tom leaned over and began to saw at the restraints.

"Tom?"

The low, husky purr made both Chakotay and Tom jerk with shock and turn their faces towards the doorway, from where a black-eyed Harry Kim was staring with interest at Chakotay's naked body. Yet, despite the fact his alien eyes were firmly fixed on Chakotay's groin, Harry's words were aimed at his
friend.

"What are you doing, Tom? Put down the knife and come here."

/Where the hell's Tuvok?/ Chakotay wondered, torn between panic and embarrassment. /How the hell did Harry get in my quarters without a dozen security sensors going crazy?/

Then his confusion took a new turn as Tom did a double-take, dropped the knife, stumbled to his feet to face Harry and wailed "Chakotay?".

Harry smiled gently at the obviously bemused pilot.

"That's right, Tom. I'm Chakotay. Come here, honey."

"Honey?" Tom whimpered, his eyes flickering helplessly between the angry, rejecting Chakotay lying on the bed and the smiling, seductive Chakotay in the doorway who had called him *honey*. He blinked and shook his head, as though physically attempting to fight a battle that was purely psychological and so, inevitably, he lost. He began to totter towards the smiling Chakotay, mewling with relief as *that* Chakotay opened his arms in welcome.

"TOM," Chakotay roared, but although the blond shuddered in reaction to his shout, he continued to move towards Harry.

Chakotay strained against the restraints, yanking his wrists desperately in the hope that Tom's aborted efforts to cut through them had weakened them enough for him to break free. Nothing. For all his writhing, cursing and bucking against the restraints, all he could do was watch helplessly as the man he loved staggered in a daze to Harry Kim, sank down on his knees and threw his arms around Harry's hips in a desperate hug. The fact that the position meant Tom's face was nuzzling into Harry's groin only served to increase Chakotay's fury. 

"What the fuck are you doing, you bastard?" Chakotay roared at Harry.

"Giving him what he wants," Harry purred back.

Chakotay stared helplessly at the completely alien glitter of Harry's eyes, watched as Harry's hands began to encourage Tom to slide his cheek up and down Harry's erection.

"STOP IT," he roared, as he watched Tom release Harry's hips and move with worshipful slowness to ease the fastenings open on Harry's uniform. Tom's eyes were closed, his expression somewhere between dreamy and ecstatic and, although Chakotay couldn't hear the word Tom was endlessly whispering
as he worked Harry's cock out of his pants, from the movement of Tom's lips it appeared he was breathing a soundless litany of "Chak, Chak, Chak, Chak..."

"It's sweet, isn't it?" Harry asked, his expression cold. "The way he just wants to worship you with his...oh, yeah, baby. That's it, Tom. Work it, honey."

"Chakotay," Tom warbled happily, around his mouthful of cock.

"TOM!" Chakotay roared.

"He can't hear you," Harry smirked. "He can only see and hear what *I* want him to and, as far as he's concerned, I *am* you."

"You bastard," Chakotay hissed. "I know you're not Harry Kim. He loves Tom. He'd *never* abuse him like this."

Harry looked at him and smirked, his face so familiar yet his cruel expression so completely alien to Harry's personality that it was impossible for Chakotay to believe that *any* of Harry remained behind those solid, obsidian eyes.  

"Are you so sure?" he asked, with a cold laugh. "Perhaps all I ever wanted was the power to do it and the excuse to deny responsibility for my actions."

"Perhaps you're just full of shit, you alien bastard," Chakotay retorted.

The Grrchek shrugged.

"You humans are different," he acknowledged. "I'm only beginning to realize *how* different. You're not like the Savernan, for all you appear similar in appearance. You're minds are...more receptive, less inflexible. You could say I'm flexing my muscles a little, seeing how far I can go."

"You've learnt how to completely take over your host," Chakotay gasped.

"Yes," the Grrchek agreed, with obvious satisfaction. "It presents more... possibilities than I had previously imagined."

Chakotay flinched and struggled uselessly against his bonds.

"I have thirty-seven hosts on this ship, Chakotay. I have more than a thousand on the surface. Wouldn't it be...entertaining...if Tom thought *all* of them were you. Let's see. Three months. 90 days. That's about 12 different Chakotays a day. How long do you think he'd survive, Chakotay? Seriously, I don't understand enough about human physiology to be sure. I imagine he'd survive the experience if they aren't *too* enthusiastic with him and your doctor takes care to repair him frequently."

"Why are you doing this to him, to me?" Chakotay snarled.

"Don't be dense, my love. It doesn't suit you. You love him and..." the Grrchek waved at the blond head bobbing enthusiastically at his groin, "...it's obvious he wants you too. Since it appears your main objection to accepting his offer of what you obviously want to accept is that you feel he will resent you afterwards, I am freeing you of any feelings of guilt. Either *you* accept him, or he spends the next three months *thinking* you have. I don't pretend to have a complete understanding of humans yet, but I think its reasonable to assume that he would not find it easy to live with such memories."

"Memories?"

"It's a strange thing, Chakotay. I can take over a biological entity completely, like this one I am currently using to converse with you, and while I am in control their consciousness seems dormant. But it isn't. The moment my symbiont leaves its host, I can ensure that the host recalls *everything*. "

"So Tom will remember you making him do this with Harry?" Chakotay asked, feeling sickened.

The Grrchek smirked. "Just as I will ensure that Harry recalls this moment too. All of the shame and none of the pleasure and, believe me, Chakotay, there is a lot of pleasure. Such a talented man, this Tom Paris. No wonder you find him so attractive."

"You said I could choose *anyone* to join me in the wall, that I had the three months to decide."

"You may," the Grrchek replied. "Obviously, I'd prefer it to be this one but I believe your threat that you'd rather the whole crew stayed here than Tom joins you. I accept that and I agree on one condition. That you spend these few weeks with Tom. Look at it this way - by the time my symbiont leaves Tom, you'll already be in the wall. You'll never have to face him afterwards."

"You bastard."

"I suggest you make your mind up quickly, Chakotay. This body I'm inside is starting to react most strangely to the sensations Tom is creating. In another few moments, I shall be too pre-occupied to talk to you."

"OKAY!" Chakotay yelled, his eyes bleeding tears as though they were the visible wounds of his capitulation. Anything to stop the bizarre tableau being enacted in front of him. Anything to take Tom's mouth off Harry Kim's cock before the possessed Ensign erupted inside Tom's throat.  "But I have my own condition."

"Which is?" the Grrchek asked.

"That you wipe both Tom and Harry's minds of *this* moment. After Voyager has escaped, after I join you in the wall, Tom might look back at his weeks with me and hate me but he'll never have to see me again, so he'll learn to cope with the memories and put them behind him. I can live with that, with the idea he'll hate me, but he'll need Harry. You can take my life and my freedom, you bastard, but I won't let you take Tom's friend from him by leaving this incident between them."

"Very well," the Grrchek agreed, his capitulation so easy that it was obvious he'd chosen Harry Kim's body deliberately for this demonstration of his power.  He stepped back from Tom's kneeling body, carefully re-fastening Harry's uniform. Tom whimpered then went silent, his expression of dismay fading until he was simply shaking his head in evident confusion as he pulled himself back to his feet and stared uncertainly between the Grrchek and Chakotay.

"Harry?" Tom asked, his eyes wide and bewildered. "What are you doing here?"

At first there was nothing, except a tiny flash of fire deep within Harry's black eyes, to visibly indicate that the Grrchek had relaxed his control of the ensign, but it was clear to Chakotay that Harry Kim's consciousness had returned when he blinked, shook his head and then blushed.

"I'm not sure," Harry confessed, looking around the room, seeing Chakotay's naked body and flushing deeper this time although his gaze lingered hungrily over Chakotay's body. The stare made Chakotay squirm with discomfort, as it reminded him that just because Harry was back in his own head didn't mean that the Grrchek had gone, simply that it had deigned to co-exist with its host once more.

"He's mine," Tom announced firmly, then flicked his eyes doubtfully in Chakotay's direction as though expecting the Commander to deny it.

Before Chakotay could reply, the air shimmered and Tuvok materialized in Chakotay's bedroom.

"Commander?" Tuvok asked politely, merely raising an eyebrow at the way Chakotay was restrained on the bed. "I apologize for failing in my duty to protect you. The hosts staged a 'diversion' that prevented me realizing your quarters had been invaded. I shall remove Ensign Kim and Lieutenant Paris from your quarters and return Lieutenant Ayala."

"No," Chakotay replied quietly. "Just remove Ensign Kim. Lieutenant Paris will be replacing Lieutenant Ayala as my companion."

"I see," Tuvok replied shortly. "Would you like me to remove your restraints before I leave?"

Chakotay opened his mouth to tell Tuvok in no uncertain terms what he'd do to him if he *didn't* remove the restraints, then noticed Tom's expression and hesitated. He swallowed heavily at the look of pure adoration in the bright blue eyes, Tom's ecstatically hopeful smile and the lips that were swollen from their teasing of Harry's cock.

"No, that will be all, *Captain*," Chakotay said, with as much dignity as he could muster given the circumstances.

Tuvok arched an eyebrow but just silently nodded his capitulation as he tapped his comm. badge to arrange for his and Harry's transport out of Chakotay's quarters.

Go to Part Twelve